Chapter 0 | Before
Utterly useless and pathetic.
I didn’t know if I wanted to cry of frustration or laugh out loud but the tear streaming down my pale skin made the decision for me. Not one but two then three tears came streaming down and the next thing I know I’m having a total breakdown in the middle of the hallway at school. While the people walking past me eye me with concern but I didn’t care.
If I knew I was pathetic then I wanted the whole world know by how much. No one dared to approach me and for that I was thankful. I swipe away the tears out of my face and exhale shakily. Last period was over and I couldn’t wait to get away from here fast enough.
Their soft whispers still echo in my head from the library.
Lila who became my best friend this year and Aslan who has been my childhood friend/crush both sat in front of me talking about summer break but I couldn’t concentrate. My eyes shift to Aslan’s thumb carelessly rubbing Lila’s hand.
So lovingly I thought.
“Rosie? Are you listening?” Lila asks waving her hand in front of my face. I blink and look back at her piercing blue eyes. Of course he would fall in love with her. Her eyes were shining as bright as her blonde hair.
My hair was black and dull.
My brown eyes lifeless.
I’m usually not the type to compare myself to other girls but in this case I couldn’t help it when Lila came into the picture she was stunning all the attention went to her. Aslan’s attention went to her while I was left with bits of crumbs. I didn’t hate her obviously or envy her because the second she introduced herself I would’ve fallen in love with her too.
Her sweet smile and soft voice was no doubt soothing. Her voice was like a soft blanket that wraps you with such softness.
It brought instant comfort.
I was the opposite.
“Sorry,” I reply sheepishly. “What were you saying?”
“Always spacing out aren’t you?” Aslan comments while giving me one of his warm smiles. I smile back. His blue eyes twinkling. His brown hair was out of place and I had the urge to jump out of my chair to remove the dangly piece of long hair covering his eye, but I of course remained in my seat.
I mentally shake my head. I shouldn’t be having these emotions. For Christ sakes he’s dating my best friend. I clench my fits feeling my nails dig deep into my skin.
I look back at Lila as she answers my question, “I was saying that my Uncle as a lake house we should go. Us three celebrating our end of Junior year.”
No. No. No.
I don’t think I can handle it anymore.
“I’ll see,” I said instead.
“Please come! It’ll be fun I promise. After all the exams we had this past week we need to get away from this school, from these ridiculous uniforms, and from this town!” She removes her hands from Aslan and places them on the table reaching out to me. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”
I let out a sigh, unclenching my hand I reached hers. “Don’t be silly you know I’ve been having book club meetings. Look I’ll think about it okay? If I don’t go, both of you should go and have a romantic getaway or something.”
“Plus my dad is coming from his trip I need to be here to spend time with him before he leaves again.” I glance at the both of them as they both frown.
“Okay,” Lila sighs letting go of my hand.
“I have to go.” I said gathering my bag. “I’ll text you both okay?”
Without saying another word or waiting for them to say another thing I walk out from the library.
I didn’t want to tell them, but I was leaving this town. Away from here, away from them. I should’ve gotten use to them dating but each day that passed by just gotten more difficult.
Truth is I needed to get away. I texted my dad to come and pick me up so I can stay with him for a while before senior began and had to face them all over again. I needed to revaluate what was I going to be doing.
One thing I knew I couldn’t stay here.
If I needed to face them again I needed to change.
And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
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