You don't want to be different in this type of world, this cruel world where you could be killed just because of the colour of your skin, or get weird looks down the street because of your sexuality. I also don't believe in heaven or hell but in my opinion, this is hell. It's a racist existence where you have to like the same things to get along, if any difference, then it's over for you. It's bloody stupid and childish if I had to say. People like those silly superhero movies but what if that happened in real life? I'm not saying that I am a superhero with unnatural superpowers, but at the same time... I am.
Don't get me wrong I'm built like a twig compared to all the buff and show-off type of men who save the world on a day to day type of basis, I prefer to keep to myself, after all, not many people seem to notice me anyway. If it were possible when I die, if I die, I would like to be turned into nothing. Perhaps the dream of just disappearing peacefully would be the perfect way for me to say goodbye. If it may be possible, maybe I could get turned into ash for a nice night fire in winter, or a sort of sweetener for water in rivers, safe for animals and humans to digest. I don't want to be cremated or put '6 feet underground' for people to grieve over and say silly things about their life ever since I left because honestly, I don't care. I know I sound cruel and biased, but am I wrong. Who would want to just sit around waiting for a monthly visit to their grave, then hear a long life story about that person, that they could've just made up?
It's boring, but apparently, only I would think that because I'm different. I've come to terms with the fact that I hate that word from the deepest part of my body, through to my aching bones and straight down to my core.
My father, on the other hand, doesn't know. It's just me and my mother, who also doesn't know. Mother told me that ever since father found that she was pregnant, he left, leaving a permanent mark of damage to show the "mistake" she had made for not aborting me. Like I said, cruel world. Mother told me he became a drug addict and came home every night from drinking with his friends. I'm glad mother doesn't see the man anymore, frankly, I don't even think she remembers his name. I love my mom and cherish her, but I can't tell her about those "things" I see. They're everywhere and are a nuisance if you had to ask. Strangely, no one seems to be bothered by them. I've also come to terms that "normal" people can't see them.
They hover, precisely above a person, well I like to say people who have found what they're looking for in life. They glow an ocean blue, I know the most commonly used word to describe the colour blue is an ocean, but I'm not lying. They glisten when sun rays shine down on them. I call them cores. I am the only person who doesn't have one, well so I can only tell because out of all the people I meet or see walking down the streets, they all have one. It's kind of sad...but I'm not complaining.
First of all, I don't cry, I hate being the centre of attention and I most certainly HATE when people are all lovey-dovey with one another. Don't worry I'm not the type of person who thinks romance is yucky but, I've never found the right one for me... well, as a matter of fact, I've never found someone anyway, that's totally because I'm NOT gay and have been in denial about it for the last 6 years. Love is a double L in my book, you love someone then you lose someone, its as simple as that. Double L or LL, whatever you want to call it. Nothing lasts forever anyway.
Speaking of lasting forever, that's exactly what my name is gonna be doing. Milo...... Milo, a drink used to energise the human body and I'm named after it. I'd rather be named something common or more simple like; Noah or Tom, but I do kind of like my name, after all, mom gave it to me. Milo Huxley is my full name, Mother told me that Huxley is old English for "Hugh's meadow" and the meaning of Hugh is "mind, spirit & intellect" therefore meaning "intellectuals meadow."
A weird name for a weird person... this couldn't get any worse.
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