Anger in me

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Nightmare

I didn’t care if Gia would run or something. I helped her and if she wants to go she can. Yesterday I was sleeping on the couch if she would need me. I didn’t regretted what I said yesterday but I was angry that she said she didn’t hate me but I know she is angry and hates me because of what I did to him.

I came to her room to see if she’s ready to go. “Are you-” I said as I saw her cleaning her wound in pain. “Do you need help?” I asked still standing at the doors. “I’m okay.” She said coldly. “Uuu, we are gonna be rude now?” I said jokingly but seriously. She just rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t care and came to her and started to clean her wound. “I said, I’m fine.” She moved her hand. “It isn’t the first time I needed to do it.” She added. “You always do it like that?” I asked. “Yes, why?” “Cause you’re doing it wrong.” I grabbed her by her hand and started to show how she needs to do it. “That’s it!” I finished. “Go and get ready cause we need to go.” “Where?” “Are you stupid or what? I’m gonna drive you home.” I was annoyed. “No, I’m not stupid Angelo but what do you think people will say seeing me with you? They can get wrong ideas.” She was angry. “What wrong ideas?” I said moving my face closer to hers that we almost could kiss. “Can you stop!” She was annoyed and I rolled my eyes. “Come on, I’m gonna wait in the car.” I said before leaving.

“You really took a long time.” I said after she came in the car. “It’s been only 9 minutes.” “Too long.”

We started to drive as I stopped the car. “Here is your stop.” I said as she wanted to get out of the car but I grabbed her by her arm. “You weren’t at mine house, I didn’t helped you and yesterday and today didn’t happened, go it? So you need to make a good excuse.” I was serious. “Sunshine, I think you sometimes forget who I am, cause I know everything I need to do. And I got it.” She gave me an angry look. “Good.” I putted my sunglasses on and drove off.

“Where were you?!” Dylan and Beck were worried. “Chill, I just needed to do some stuff.” I rolled my eyes. “So you couldn’t answer our calls and texts?” “I didn’t saw it and I texted you that I will be gone for a day.” “I don’t give a F*ck if you texted us at the start, don’t you remember what happened last time when you were gone?” Beck eyes were filled with tears. “I know what happened and that wasn’t my fault.” “Of course it wasn’t your fault but you don’t know what we been through.” “And you don’t know what I been through at that time. You were maybe hurt but a pain I survived isn’t even close.” “We would know if you would tell us!” Her voice broke. “I-I can’t okay...” My voice broke. “I can’t. That was the only time when I cried and-” I couldn’t say anything more. I took deep breath. “I needed to do something.” I said as I started to leave.

~

“NO! STOP! Don’t touch me!” I cried. “Please...DON’T! STOP!” “You were bad girl and you need to be punished for it.” He said. “Please I didn’t do nothing wrong...” I cried even more. “Mich, Mich, MICHAELA!” Someone else yelled. “Please...” I had my eyes closed. “Open your eyes Mich. Please...I’m here.” The same voice was telling me. I opened my eyes slowly. “It was just a nightmare.” I saw Roman when I opened my eyes. He pulled me in a hug as I started to cry. “It’s okay...that wasn’t true.”

He was only person who knew what happened to me. And yes, I didn’t even tell Beck. His bedroom is right next to mine and he is only one who can hear me cry from his bedroom.

I had nightmares because of him and Beck mentioning it today it made it even worse. “It will be okay.” Roman tried to calm me down. “Did you saw him?” He asked as I nodded. “It was-my fault-if I would-” “NO! STOP! Nothing of this was your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong.” He pulled me in a hug even more. “You need to sleep, do you want me to stay here?” He asked and I nodded. He was a big spoon and I was little one. I grabbed his hand as I hold it and he was petting my had with his free hand. Roman was my safe place. Not only Roman but all of my friends. But from what happened I couldn’t sleep cause I was getting nightmares and I was tired 24/7 and I didn’t sleep for days but one day when I tried to fall asleep I got a nightmare and I started to scream and cry in my sleep as only Roman heard me. He came in my room to see me fighting myself. He woke me up and calmed me down after that I told him everything and this was one of few times I saw him cry. After that I fall asleep with him next to me and I got a good night sleep after many weeks. After that he spend many nights sleeping in my room before I could slept by myself again.

~

“Hey...” Roman woke me up. “How are you?” He asked as I sat on my bed. “Better...” “Good. Do you want something for eat?” He asked with a soft smile. “Thank you but I think I’m gonna go on a run and after that I’m gonna eat.” I smiled. “Do you want me to go with you?” “No, I’m okay but thank you.” “No problem.” He smiled as he left my room.

I putted on my black leggings and white, Nike sports bra. I didn’t put anything else on cause it was hot outside.

I started to run by my usual way, which was long 5 miles. First 2 miles wre okay but when I was half way finish I started to hear something. Someone started to call me by my name but nobody was around. Everything was empty. “Mich...Michaela...Micheale...” Familiar voice called me. It was his voice.

I started to run as fast I could. I was so scared that I couldn’t stop running. I ran 3 miles in 17 minutes. I came back home and I was out of breath. “Are you okay, Mich?” Roman asked as I saw him at his car. “I don’t know...” “What happened?” “I was running and nobody was around me, everything was empty. And somebody was calling me by my name and it was...his voice.” “Are you sure Mich?” “I don’t know, maybe I heard it because what happened.” “Maybe...” “So where are you going?” “Ummmm, I’m kinda going on a date...” “Uuuu, whit who? Boy or a girl?” “Mich, you know that I’m straight so please stop.” “Yeah, yeah, I just hope you will not be with another bi*ch like last time.” I rolled my eyes. “Cami was nice but she left because you pulled gun on her.” “It isn’t my fault that she is scared of everything.” I rolled my eyes. “Yeah but it was still your fault.” “Yeah, yeah just don’t bring another girl home that fast cause it will not be my fault if she will get shoot by me, Dylan, Beck and Cassie.” “Yes it will be your fault because if you would say to them not to do it they would listen to you.” “But what if I wouldn’t want to say anything.” I smirked. “You guys are so fucking overprotective, it should be me who sould be overprotective over you guys cause I’m the older one.” “Yeah but you are still a pu**y.” He hated when I called him that. “I’m not.” He rolled his eyes and drove off. “DON’T FUCK UP!” I yelled while laughing.

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