Chapter 1
โI can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.โ
โ Sylvia Plath
The alarm clock wakes Ariadna up and makes her hate her life even more. There is no way for her to get up, put her feet on the cold wooden floor, and happily go to school,. After opening her eyes, she has to turn on her back, facing the ceiling. Take deep breaths for about 7 minutes and blink every 10 seconds. Itโs exhausting to lie in bed for too long, but itโs even more exhausting when you do not, so Ariadna decides to sleep for another 30 minutes until the clock strikes 7:58, but then she suddenly hears a knock on her door:
,,Ariadna, if you do not get up within two minutes, Iโll pull you out of bed, do you understand?โฒ - Her mother screamed. It was so loud that for a second she thought she would open the door to her room in seconds and roar out.
She got up exactly 3 minutes after her mother loudly appeared at the door because someone might think she listens to mom too much and is extremely childish and boring. In fact, Adriana was never like normal kids burying their feet under hot sand at the beach while playing with their totally decent friends. She grew up too fast to understand how tragic her existence is, because the more you think about it - the worse it gets. In school, teachers told extraordinary things about her, even when she was only 6 years old. As a child, she never really studied for a test or exam - or even did her homework.
,,Good morning ariel!โณ - her dad greeted her with these words as soon as she reached the last step of the stairs.
,,Good morning Henryโณ - teen said. Ariadna doesnโt know how to call somebody thatโs supposed to be her dad. The fact is, even the stranger wouldโve done much effiecient and better work than him - she thought.
A great way to start the day! While I can not wish for a drunk truck driver to run me over while I am crossing the same street next to my house and then walking three miles to the nearest high school, if thereโs anything that can make my day worse... - Ariadna thought.
,,Hurry up, honey, eat the cereal and start getting dressed, okay? Or even start now, we do not have time. Dad will drive you to school so you do not have to walk with that crap. What have you got in there? A disfigured body?โณ her mother said, holding her black backpack in her hand. She never really had a normal sense of humor. Maybe thatโs why I am so funny to people? - Ariadna thought for a moment, then went back to eating her cereal.
,,Ms. Murphy said we need to take our old books to the library for some kids in our schoolโโ - said a teenager, just because she wanted to be left alone.
Ariadna finished eating cereals, leaving a little bit of chocolate milk in the bowl. She went upstairs with her backpack, locked in a bathroom and started doing a makeup. After that, she took a comb from her toiletry bag and started working for 15 minutes on her shaggy, black, curly hair.
,,Thank god I have no freckles, that would be a total fucking nightmareโณ - she said.
When she was about to leave bathroom and gave up on being beauty, she reminded herself that she hasnโt showered yet. Ariadna instantly thought that entire school is gonna be looking at her while sheโs walking through the hallway and talking bullshit about her. Anxiety rises, legs disobey, hands are shaking. She will go shower. She has to do it for herself. Ariadna undressed, washed off the makeup and started showering. What if Iโll be late? - she thought. After hearing agony screams from her mother about failing a school because of one missed lesson, she left the house in her jeans jacket, white tshirt with a picture of cute panda in a middle of it and white skirt.
It took her 25 minutes until she realised sheโs a midway to school, because she counted the trees, tires in each parked car, bricks in the pavement and the humber of the ugliest clouds on the sky. Suddenly, Ariadna stopped walking. She stopped counting, because she doesnt have to do it anymore - sheโs free. Her heartbeat didnโt really changed, but something definitely did. Ariadna looked around - there was nobody else but her. Happiness she felt that time was incredible and sudden, out of nowhere. She thought that this day will suck, basing on how it started.
,,Iโm Ariadna Westler, your motherfucking queen!โณ - she screamed in front of school when she made it there, walking confident with her head pointed forward.
Her school was casual, brick square with a plenty of duplicated windows, massive wooden doors, some grass and trees, several very clean benches, and...teenagers. Usually she would feel stressed. Not because she cant communicate with people or they dont like her - the opposite. Now, its her time. She can do whatever she wants and be whoever destiny decides her to be.
Ariadna entered the school and a familiar voice spoke to her.
,,Hi bitchโณ - Cassie said to Ariadna. Itโs that one extra friend whoโs always kind and energetic to everyone with no reason, but when goes back home - becomes a different person.
,,Hello Cassieโณ - she answered - โณHowโs it going with talking shit about every couple? Itโs your...3rd day?โณ.
,,Iโm not giving up that easy, couples really suck. They only think about themselves and what they have under their clothesโณ - Cassie said to Ariadna, while opening her locker. Itโs very clean, I guess sheโs a pedant.
,,Oh my god I feel so fucking amazingโณ - Ariadna said, blinking only every 2 minutes.
,,Suprise suprise. I thought you were depressed yesterdayโณ - Cassie said.
,,I was, but I didnt even know why. I was so dumb thinking life is a big bullshit and god is a fairy tale. Iโm a completely different person now.โณ - Ariadna said, heading with her friend to class 1-2.
