An Empty Mind: A Privilege Denied
She felt the ground move under her as she walked. When she reached down to touch it, it poured through her fingers. She decided to tighten her cloth as to not let the ground into her eyes and kept walking. This turned out to be a favorable decision since, only a few steps later, she tripped on a large rock and fell into the sand.
She scrambled to her feet, wiping to ground from her eyes. She was barely up for a moment when she fell again; though she didn’t understand why. She hadn’t moved that time. She tried to get up once more, but again she fell.
“Stop it!” She screamed to the night, not knowing if an answer would come, or from which direction if it did.
In the end, it came from her head.
"You little BITCH!" the voices bellowed inside her head; all together like her sisters, but this...this was different. Somehow, this was not like before.
"You think you can do this to us!? We RAISED you, and this is how we are repaid!"
“I don’t understand! Who are you? And what do you think I’ve done!?” She felt something pulling her down into the sand.
"You ungrateful rat! You sent your sisters on us! They tore out our eyes!"
Evie say up and listened; it seemed that one voice stood out from the others; a voice she knew well.
“Doctor Mother Lavrine?”
"Yes, I am here you filth. You killed us all in there like the beast I knew you were. Did you think I ’d let you live in peace after that!?"
“But it wasn’t me!”
"I SAW YOU!"
“It was the girl! The older girl! She made me do it! Please! Go to her, not me!”
Suddenly Evie’s face was tossed into the dirt. ”Do you think I would believe suck lies!? Your lips are tainted with them, you rat!"
Evie screamed. “Doctor Mother, please! I didn’t hurt you on purpose! Please!”
She gasped for breath and sand did its best to find its way into her lungs. She screamed louder and focused as best she could on the forces pushing her down.
“Get out! I won’t be punished like this! Get OUT!”
For a few minutes she lay there, face down in the sand. One by one she forced the voices off of her, and slowly they dissipated. She could feel them swirling around in her head, but they she was able to keep them quiet for now.
Her arms and legs shook as she stood; eventually finding the rock and helping herself up she dusted her eyes as best she could. They stung as a hundred pieces of ground scraped across her un-formed eyes.
“I-Ireane? Ireane!” She called for her, hoping that she would be near, and could get the ghosts away; but she was gone a long time ago. Evie took a breath and walked on as small blood pools started forming in her sockets.
After about an hour her feet hit asphalt, and she walked along it. Unlike her escape co-hide, she had no idea which the road had been, or which way the road was going. She did her best to stay on the edge so she wouldn’t turn around accidently and hoped she would find someone else soon.
A few hours of walking and the cool air on her skin turned hot and dry. Another few hours and she fainted in the road. Her body had never seen the sun before, and she had no way of finding shade; even if it was near. Her mind swam in delirium, and the voices took their chance.
"Where do you think you’re going, rat?"
"You’d best turn around 3-0-1, or 0-0. Face your punishment."
"Lies like a child. And to think we let this one have a name..."
For what seemed like hours they taunted her in her defenseless state. She couldn’t think, let alone speak; and it was too hot to move.
When she woke up again the air had cooled some, and she stumbled to her feet. Still the voices taunted her, and pushed her down when they could. By the time she had enough energy to keep them at bay, her knees and hands were bloody and full of sand.
“I never would have left myself... I never would have hurt anybody... This isn’t fair... This isn’t fair...”
The moon was up by the time she felt the ground start to rumble. She stopped in the street, and a shrill sound cut through the dank air. She grabbed on to her eye cloth and bit her lip; she couldn’t tell where the sound was coming from, and didn’t know where to run. A few honks later she guessed that it was in front of her and ran to the side. There was a screech, then a crash, then something hot glowed in the darkness. It kissed her skin, and she walked towards it.
She put her hand out awhile and stopped when she hit something tall and wooden. She reached out and felt the familiar touch of metal; but something hot was inside.
"Well shoot. Looks like I hit a teliophone pole."
Evie turned towards the sound and reached out her hand; she felt something cold, but her skin went right through it.
"Huh? Whoa! Ain’t you a weird lookin’ boy?"
“I’m a girl, and I’m sorry.”
"Hm? ’Bout what?"
“Your accident. You died.”
The man looked down at his pale hands then went over to his now smashed truck. In the driver’s seat he saw a man; a man with greasy brown hair, an unshaven face, a stained white tank-top, black biker gloves, baggy brown pants and one shoe on; he was also holding a beer and more than several empties were in the back. His face and arms were cut and bleeding from the crash.
"Shit. That looks like me."
“It is you.”
The man seemed to hic inward before rubbing his head.
"Did I hit you too?"
“Me? No. I’m alright.”
"Well you’re all bloody is all. But if I didn’t hit you... No Pedestrian Points!" The man laughed and hic-ed again before wiping a fake tear from his eye.
“Um... I-I’m still sorry. But you didn’t hurt me, so you can go now.”
"Go? Go where?"
“Well um...just go. Die fully. Let your soul pass on. It usually just happens, so I don’t know what it looks like.”
"Well I don’t see no magic light or nothin’, kid. Or any flames of fire if you know what I mean!" Again he laughed, and Evie sighed.
“You were drunk, weren’t you? When you died?”
“Then I suppose you’ll be drunk forever...”
"Well that’s fuckin’ sweet," He took a swig from the beer bottle he had taken off his corpse only moments ago; the liquid dissolved into him.
“So who are you, anyway? Did you come from a town? Are people nearby?”
"Hey, slow down with all the aski-askies. I uh... I..." He paused, and furrowed his brow. ”I..."
He clapped suddenly.
“Yes?” Evie smiled.
"I...have no fucking clue."
Evie’s smile faded.
"I think I remember a ‘cah’...no no... ‘con’. Yes! My name had a ‘con’ in there somewhere..."
"Mm...nope. Nadda fucking thang."
“Well okay... Mister Con, my name’s Evangeline. I kind of like to go by ‘Evie’ though.”
"Nice to meet you, Vodka."
“No, it’s ‘Evie’.”
"That shit’s too hard to pronnNns...I’ll just call ya ‘Vodka’."
"So where’re we goin’?"
“Huh? Oh...I don’t know. I’m looking for someone. A girl.”
"Hey, aren’t we all?" Con took another swig.
“I think her name’s ‘Ireane’. I need to find her.”
"Well what’s she look like?"
“I...I don’t know. I can’t see.”
Con looked down at the cloth on her eyes. ”Well it’s probably ’cause of this shit right here. If ya just take that off..."
Evie turned. “No! I’m...I’m blind. This protects my eyes. Please, don’t take it off.”
"Aw Hell. Well, let’s head that way then."
Evie turned to him and motioned to her eyes.
"Oh right." Con took her hand and pointed it. ”That way."
“Is there a town ‘that way’, Mister?”
Con shrugged. ”I dunno, but my truck was heading the other way, and I had to a’ come from somewhere. By the way, grab my wallet, will ya?"
Con took her hand and started to walk. Evie held him as straight as she could and he went on trying to describe the colour red. She had never really been in the presence of many souls who could manifest themselves as full people, and she wondered if others would see him once they got into town. She thought that maybe, since he was drunk, he couldn’t fully grasp the fact that he was dead, and therefore felt no reason to leave the place he was at now.
“It’s nice of you to come along with me, Mister.”
"Well I ain’t got nothin’ better to do. Besides, I this is the longest conversation I’ve had in a while."
Evie perked up. “Do you remember something, then?”
"I remember not talking to a whole lot a’ people."
“Would your wallet have anything in it?”
"You know Vodka, you’re pretty smart. Hand it ’ere."
She held it up and Con tried to grab it; his hand filtered through.
"Strange. I can hold my beer...an’ you."
“Well, It may be me who’s touching you, actually.”
Evie sighed and opened the wallet.
"Thanks. Could you turn it ’round though, Vodka?"
She smiled a bit and turned it around so he could see.
"Dang... My vision’s all...wibbly-wobbly. I see some beer money but, uh...nohtin’ ’bout myself."
Evie frowned. “I’m sorry.”
"Hey, if I can’t remember it, maybe it ain’t worth remembering." He attempted to ruffle Evie’s intensely short hair. ”Now, red ain’t nothin’ like green..."