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The World in the Cave (A Really Bad Story I Wrote Ages Ago)

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A really bad story I wrote over a year ago but it's not personal so I thought I'd share it and I might carry on working on it.

Adventure / Fantasy
5.0 1 review
Age Rating:

Chapter 1

Florence balanced on the rock beside a small rockpool. Calling to the others to come and see the crab she’d found. It was small but it wasn’t dead like the other ones they’d found

“What is it?” Florence’s friend, Lottie asked.

Lottie was looking in one of the rockpools nearby and came over.

“A live crab!” she called back.

“Cool, I found a fish.” Florence’s other friend, Fern called from the set of rocks close to the sea.

The three friends were at the beach for the weekend holiday. They eleven so they couldn’t do anything interesting, even though coronavirus cleared up a few years ago, or that’s what Fern said. It was a sunny day with a cool breeze so the girls were beside the cliffs to block the wind, little knowing what lurked there.

Florence and Lottie stumbled over rocks as they hurried to where Fern was standing. There was a small fish hardly moving, floating in the pool.

“Is it dead?” Lottie asked disgusted, backing away from the pool.


“Why, don’t we just move away from the dying fish?” Florence suggested

“We could explore the caves?”

Fern climbed over the rocks towards the seaweedy caves. Florence and Lottie followed her towards the small inlet, in the wet, rough rocks. The cave stank but there was a little light from a hole in the roof.


Three figures jumped out from no where and the girls screamed. They were three boys about the same height as them. When Florence looked closer she realised it was her friends from school, George, Kai and Rowan. George had brown hair like Florence and was taller than her. Kai had black hair ad dark skin a bit like Fern. Fern was tall and tanned with dark brown hair in short dreadlocks, Lottie had long, straight ginger hair tied back in fancy braids. Rowan had blonde hair and usually wore glasses but this time he wasn’t.

“Where did you come from?” Fern asked

“Our secret,” George replied, annoyingly

“They came from here.”

Florence pulled back long curtain of seaweed dangling from the roof of the cave. There was a small gap that she was sure she could crawl through. The walls were slimly from seaweed and her leggings ripped.

“Ewww.” Lottie said from behind her.

Florence got a good look at the cave. There was a huge hole in the roof letting in light and a rotten wooden platform. Lottie and Florence were standing on a huge rock beside a even bigger rockpool with dark blue water. The water rippled around the edge and it looked like there was no bottom.

George and Kai crawled through next leaving only Rowan and Fern in the public cave. Fern joined Lottie and Florence on the other side of the rock from George and Kai.

She squealed and reached out for something to hold onto. Fern fell backwards and Florence reached for her hand. A huge splash soaked Lottie, Kai and Rowan. George had managed to get out the way in time.

“Idiots,” he muttered under his breath.

Florence’s head bobbed up above the water as she gasped for breath. But Fern was still underwater.

“There’s a tunnel.” Florence uttered “It must have pulled her down. I’m going after her.”

Florence dived under the water and Lottie took her hoodie off. She set it at the side and jumped in.

“Get out, I’m calling the lifeguard. It’s his job not ours.” George said, picking his phone up.

Kai and Rowan were trying to haul Lottie out of the water. George was soaked as another huge splash sloshed around the cave.

“My phone’s stopped working, I’ll be right back.” George yelled.

Kai was the only one above water so George rushed over and tried to pull Kai back up. There was another huge splash!

Florence swan up to the surface and found an air pocket. It was lit up, somehow. A figure hurried over to her and pulled her up. She rubbed her eyes and realised it was Fern. She looked around the small cavern and saw there were lanterns hanging from the ceiling.

“What do we do?” Fern asked

“I don’t know, maybe the others will get help.” Florence suggested

Kai pulled himself up and Florence rushed to help Lottie into the cavern. Before long the whole gang was shivering and coming up with ideas.

“I wrote a message in chalk outside the cave and stuck my phone there. Hopefully someone will see it and call for help.” George said “We should just wait here.”

Florence’s vision was fine by now and she took another look round the cave. She looked closely at the walls and found the outline of a door. Creakily, the door swung open the reveal a glowing light.

“Don’t walk into the strange glowing light that looks like it’s going to kill you.” George called.

“It’s a door, it’s our way out.”

Florence walked through the light and the world turned upside down.

“Remind me never to hang out with girls again.” George said

“It’s a way out lets go.” Lottie said and ran through the door.

Fern went after her and it was just the boys left.

“Lets just go through.” Kai said

The whole gang left the cave and little did they know, the world.

The three boys found the girls staring around a rocky cave of skeletons.

“Did we just teleport?” Kai asked

“I think.” Florence said

“Let’s get out of here,” George said heading for the exit.

They walked over the bones, crunching under their feet. Everyone had a disgusted look on their face. A roar echoed through the valley, bouncing off rocks. The group covered their ears and ran.

The cave lit up in flames and Florence screamed.

“Florence!” Lottie yelled

“Run.” George called, his voice shaking.

Everyone ran out the cave. Rowan fell but Florence pulled him up before he was engulfed by flames.

“At least we’re not wet anymore.” George called

They reached the mouth of the cave and it lead to a deep drop. The fire was getting closer and George looked down.

“Jump.” George said “Trust me.”

He leaned back and Kai followed. The two fell and Lottie jumped after them. Fern stayed where she was as the three fell through the air. Florence pushed her before she and Rowan followed.

They hit something smooth and scaly, like a huge snake. Gigantic wings flapped beside them as they held on to the spines on the creature’s back. They soared to the ground and tumbled off.

They stared at the huge eye and the dragon bowed to them.

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Suzan Anne Basmanoğlu: Its a great story. Just too short

Sass: The only review I have again is that I just did a review a minute ago in the previous chapter and I don’t understand why it’s necessary to do it again

nzamanokuzola840: I loved every moment of it plz continue to be the great writer you. Thank you so much for taking us on this magical journey.

Narges: Ich finde das Buch ist gut gelungen und war spannend abwechslungsreich und ich würde es auch anderen empfehlen habe buch gewählt weil es mir empfohlen wurde und der Titel hat mit der geschichte eingestimmt die geschichte war toll geschrieben Der tam klingt gut spannend und gruselig guter Titel

Estefanía: Me pareció un poco dramática la reacción de ella. Pero en general me ha gustado

Youne: Les personnages sont vraiment intéressants. Principaux et secondaires. L’histoire est bien ficelée. Merci !!

sharon: I enjoyed the reading. This story could have carried on to bring conclusion of the true King. The princess closure and new beginnings the new beta. Also the arrival or pregnancy of a heir.

Daniela Mautes: Das Buch hat mich von Anfang bis Ende gefesselt, genau das was ich mag.

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higill: I like your reading your work and i love your writing so please keep it up. I can't wait to read your other works. I will tell my friends about this book.

Mharms: I liked that the story line is in continuous book to book form. It makes a compelling history to follow. Very interesting.

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