…The first time I tested that my tears were salty, when I was six years old, My teacher gave me a present because I was the first student in my class, it was a group of colors, I was very happy, later my brother spoiled all the colors, I was disappointed, my mother say no word at the opposite she blamed me that I was careless
I grew up and more tears were tested. When first time I entered the university it was completely different from my life ,everything was strange, as if it was the first time I meet people, my father and brother were watching me all the time as if I'm always guilty, everything was taboo, even friends were not allowed to come to visit me, I was very hardworking student I studied English literature I feel just like I find myself ,no one can understand me ,I feel like I create my own world.
Days rolled on the first man came to engage me my family agreed they never asked about him never ask me about my opinion, they just want to make me marry, as if they get rid of me, I feel myself just like a rubbish which no need to stay at home.
again, I was alone in a new family with a strange man, he never understands me never feels me he just wants an ideal wife to serve him and his family I've got three children I just want to forget everything and take care of my children because they are the only things I have in this world.
my husband died in the war in Syria, my family traveled abroad, again I am alone, no one can imagine the circumstances that I passed ,the nights that I spent crying ,the fear inside my heart the pain that breaks my soul,
Sometimes I ask my God what is the sin that I commit to deserve such a life, I have my own dreams, but no one of them come true, And during the war circumstances I obliged to live in a camp with my children it was the most horrible days in my life, the tent was so cold , many nights I slept hungry,
I wake up at night crying, my daughter asked me …why are you crying mom… I don't want to grow up because when I will grow up, I will cry like you…
But I determined to stay strong because of my children, I have to be strong even my soul is broken no suffering in my life was chosen by myself , I never make my choice, all the time I was obliged, I was working day and night ,and every time I ask myself shall I work for the rest of my life,,,, and then I met someone and because all the suffering in my life I really realize that I need love and I thought I may find him but unfortunately he was like others another wound in my heart.
I decided to move to Turkey to find a better life for my children, The way was horrible and full of challenges, sadness, pain and tears I was exhausted, we were walking for a long hours, it was winter it was so cold, and I was carrying my 5 years daughter up on my back for 9 hours and because it was mud I took off my shoes and was walking barefoot,,,, my foot were bleeding I feel nothing… I just want to reach… each time I looked at the sky and say God please help me I need you ,many times I pray for God to die with my children…. I feel just like there's no place in this world for me or for my children, after three months of suffering we passed to Turkey, I thought I'd get rid of all my sufferings, but I realize that my body is here while my soul is still stuck in Syria.
Now, I feel myself that I completely changed, I feel my soul is dead, I don't want anything from this life I don't have hope for tomorrow, I don't have any desires ,dreams or even smile, I closed my eyes for the pain but I'm just wondering how can I close the eyes of my heart which always crying.
words I wrote are very very simple, no words in this world can express what Im really feeling, No one in this world can understand or can even imagine the power of the mother tears, who try all the time to protect and save her children from everything in this world,
I don't want anything more than to get peace inside my heart I've never had it, No I just recognize that God create human being and human beings destroy each other. if I have the choice I would ask God to create me as a flower, or even as a Bird, but to be a human being it's a big responsibility towards yourself and others. If I make a wish now, I would ask God to send Jesus Christ Because a touch from his mercy upon my broken heart will erase all the pain……………………actually ,,, i don't know who will read these words ,,,anyway ,,i throw my message in a bottle to the sea ...maybe one chance will come one day and a kind person like you will help me....
A poor woman living in England calls a radio station for help. During this period, an atheist listens to the radio. He asks for her number and address from the radio in order to mock the woman. After he takes her number and address, he instructs his private secretary to prepare food and other aid for this woman and deliver her to the address.
And he says to the secretary, if the woman asks you about the source of this aid, tell her that it is from Satan.
When the secretary arrived at the woman's house, the poor woman rejoiced at this assistance. The secretary asked the woman: Do you not want to know the source of this aid and who sent it to you? This illiterate woman responded with an answer :
"I don't want to know and I don't care about that because if God wants something, even the devils obey him."