Chapter 17- End Game & Old Friend Days
C h a p t e r 1 7
.:F l o r e n c e S u m m e r s:.
I just don’t know what to do. I can’t seem to think right. Or to forgive Alec, because whenever I look at him, my vision doesn’t blur, like a camera loosing focus. Instead, it hardens, and I can see his every feature, and a red tint outlining him. Like how I see Olivia.
“Honey, you need to eat.” My mom said coming into my room.
I don’t answer. Instead, I pop my earbuds into my ear, listening to Granny Joe saying how much she hated me.
I closed my eyes when her raspy voice finished. I had foolishly thought Granny Joe, my model figure would love me. But no one needed me, or wanted me. Alec proved that. Olivia and Brandon proved that. So did Stacey and Granny Joe.
"No one needs you.”
I felt heavy. No more tears came out. The words replayed in my head. I got up. No one truly needed me. The only people who cared for me know I'm a fuck-up. Shit! I killed my own sister. Who the hell kills their own sister?
Heck, if I left, there would be more money for mom to spend on. I picked up a knife that mom had put next to me for me to eat with.
I headed over to our bathroom, which had cracking tiles, red rimmed sinks and a dirty toilet. I locked the door. I knew I shouldn't be doing this. I promised my therapist no more cutting. But I knew I deserved it.
I stripped my clothes off, which were heavy with blood.
Then I jumped into the shower. I watched the blood swirl around with the water, dancing, making the water a pink color. My arm burned. But I loved it.
I turned off the shower, watching the blood tainted water go. I dried my self, covering my arms with towels. I had to cover myself, or Mom would notice.
When I got to school, people looked at me, jeering at me. Alec was with this buddies, while girls were fawning at him. I wondered, would my sister be there, fawning at him also?
I walked over to my locker. It was a mess. Red paint was splashed over, saying words like,
All sprawled over. I couldn’t breathe. It felt as if someone stuffed cotton balls down my throat, and I was rooted on the spot. People were laughing, pointing. I didn’t feel the tears come, only determination.
What am I determined to doing?
I rushed out the school doors. Before I did, I was stopped. Olivia was strolling in. Her lips turned up in a cold sneer and she opened her mouth to say something. That was, before she noticed the cuts on my arm. She froze, her mouth open like a gaping fish.
I roughly pushed her shoulder, as I went out of the front door.
I’ve never skipped school before. It felt like a rush of power that I’ve never felt. I felt uncertain.
“I want to do this.” I told myself.
I decided I would have to go around, before I do it.
I stopped at the Canterbury Apartments. That was where we first came, after my sister died. I remember the old woman who I told my past, she chuckled and gave me a piece of chocolate, then patted me on the back. She died.
I drove on, stopping at my house. I began to run. Behind my house, there was a little clearing, where apple trees grew, and you had an excellent view of the sunset.
I fell down on the grass. This was the place, where Alec and I met....
“Go explore the place instead just sitting there!” My mom spat at me.
I scurried to stand up, running out of the door with no shoes. Sure, rocks entered my feet, but we didn’t have enough to get new shoes. A little cloth would do.
I ran to the back. I didn’t like this house, it was different. I wish I could’ve still been at that Canterbury place.
I reached a place, the grass didn’t look like the fake green in our yard, instead it was long and soft. I giggled as I felt ants crawl up on my legs.
“Who’s there?” I heard a voice say.
I turned around, and a boy with brown hair stared back at me.
“Who are you?” He asked.
“I’m Flo, the A.K.A the queen of Mexico!” I said.
My dad was from Mexico. The boy frowned. We were too old to be playing "princess and knight", but he played along.
“I’ll be your Alec knight!” He said.
I giggled again.
That night, I remember the large willow tree was the dragon, but he threw me on the ground to save me from it. He’s the best knight, better than Daddy. But Daddy, he left.
I absently reached for my phone. I dialed Alec. It would be lunch for him right now. He didn’t pick up, instead it was a voice mail.
I swallowed. The cotton balls were forming in my throat again.
“I just want to let you know..” I whispered into the phone.
“I always had this thing from you, ever since you saved me from that dragon.”
“But you were so blind, too fucking willing to help everything in your path.” I said my voice cracking.
A ripple of sadness engulfed me.
“I love you.” I whispered into the phone.
I couldn’t handle it. Everything was crashing down at once: The words, the actions, Granny Joe.
I took the blade that I securely hid in my pants. I looked around. I would miss everything. The fresh smell of the evergreens, the soft grass, and the ants tickling my feet. I realized, I couldn’t do this in a more beautiful place. The blade inch by inch got nearer to my chest and-