the Stuff and Nonsense Argument
Stuff Todoo is just one of those care-free people you chance to meet in life. He doesn't see the glass as half full or half empty... In fact he'd prefer to take the glass home and find a better use for it.
There's really not that much to say about stuff. He likes a lot of things and a bit of humour. He is rather honest when it comes to some things too...
... That's what got him into an argument with his best friend...
There is a conflict of interest between Stuff and Nonsense who really isn't the nonsensical twit you might suppose him to be.
Nonsense likes very specific things and hates criticism. It is hard to imagine how Stuff and Nonsense became friends, but that remains a mystery...
Nonsense likes serious things and practical work. There is hardly anything he finds humorous in his life and that is just how he likes it – precise and planned out.
Nonsense is very fond of arguments.
One day, Stuff went over to see his best friend, Nonsense at the end of the lane. He knocked on the door and heard a very impatient "Come in!" from inside.
Stuff went in and found a living room that looked as if three whirlwinds had hit it in quick succession!
Nonsense was in the middle of it all rummaging through the drawers.
"Nonsense? What are you looking for?"
Nonsense didn't reply but after a while, he jumped up with delight, an expression he rarely showed.
"I've found it! I've found it!"
"What have you found?" asked Stuff.
"This is an old box of antiques belonging to my friend Tipsy. It contains very valuable things!" replied Nonsense.
Stuff peered in and saw all sorts of things. There was a broken clock, an old wristwatch, a light bulb, a hose, a chandelier ornament and a bit of chain link amongst other things.
"But that's just stuff! How is it valuable?"
Nonsense looked up at Stuff angrily.
"Just stuff? Nonsense, Stuff! You wouldn't know nonsensical stuff from really important stuff if it hit you over the head."
"What will you use that old clock for then? Come on Nonsense, even you see that it's just stuff."
"This is not just stuff! Nonsense Chatterbox knows stuff when he sees it. This stuff is not just stuff, and it's not nonsense either!"
"I agree, but now, what is the difference between nonsensical stuff, sensible stuff and just stuff? If this 'sensible' stuff causes all this nonsense, what sense would nonsensical stuff make then, Nonsense?"
The Argument Continues
"Of course nonsensical stuff makes no sense Stuff! That is why it remains NON-sense!"
"Exactly. Nonsense is nonsense and stuff is stuff. Nonsense can be stuff, and stuff can be nonsense, just as your stuff is nonsense!"
"Oh, so Stuff is your middle name now, eh?" said Nonsense raising his voice.
"No, Stuff is my first name... But honestly Nonsense, stuff is what brings about nonsense, right? I mean, nonsense is stuff!"
"Stuff is nonsense and this is not stuff I tell you!" said Nonsense getting up from the mess.
"Of course that's not Stuff. I'm Stuff!"
"But... Of course you're Stuff. I meant stuff as in things that are of no use... Aaargh! What are we talking about Stuff?"
The End of the Argument
Stuff sighed and began, "We were talking about a box of stuff that you said wasn't nonsense, but I insisted was simply stuff and possibly nonsense, which you again began to argue wasn't simply stuff because it was simply nonsense that this stuff should be nonsense... And that makes no sense because, of course you are Nonsense and I'm Stuff and I can't be you..."
"All right, all right... So you insist that this is just stuff, and I say it isn't because stuff (the things) is junk?"
Stuff smiled. "Exactly!"
"I get it now... But I still insist it's not... Oh well, let's leave this for another day and get some shakes. What do you say?"
And so, I suppose stuff can be nonsense, and nonsense is stuff, but Stuff isn't Nonsense as Stuff clearly pointed out... But I don't want to get into that again, do you? :)
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