The 00's: Year Three

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Steve's New Brother Or Sister Part I

It was Wednesday, April 21, 2004. It was evening. At Steve’s place, Steve and his family sat down at the dining room table and was about to eat Chinese food for dinner.

“Alright, now, I and your soon-to-be mother of five would like to announce something very important before we all have our dinner.“, Kevin Sr. said. “And how long will this announcement be? Until we all starve to death?“, Cody asked. “Not even close, your Dad and I decided to make some changes in this household now that we are all so close to the arrival of our new family member.“, Anna said.

“These upcoming changes are meant to raise the upcoming kid the best way possible.“, Kevin Sr. said. “Okay, may I ask what these changes will be?“, Kevin asked. “Well, for starters, we’re going to have Chinese food every night for dinner from this point moving forward.“, Anna said.

“What? Hold on? Wait a minute? How is having Chinese for dinner every night supposed to be a better way of raising our unborn sibling?“, Steve asked. “Well, I got the idea from your Mom and I just went with it.“, Kevin Sr. said. “I heard a long, long time ago that Chinese food can help a person live longer. Therefore, we should have Chinese food every night so that our new baby boy or baby girl can live longer.“, Anna said.

“But won’t we all miss having other foods for dinner like pizza, tacos, burgers, fast food, etc.?“, Kevin asked. “Yeah, Kev is right. Plus, we’d all eventually get tired of Chinese food.“, Steve said. “No worries, we’ll just switch it up every night. That way, we’ll have different types of Chinese food the same way we use to have different types of American food.“, Kevin Sr. said.

“Well, I guess I’ll buy that last statement.“, Kevin said. “Yeah, me too.“, Steve said. “Me three.“, Cody said. “And me four.“, Matthew said.

“Well, I’m glad that we can all agree on something as a family.“, Anna said. “Wait, we forgot to get Dexter’s approval.“, Steve said. “Dexter, do you approve of us having Chinese food every night from this point moving forward?“, Steve asked.

Dexter barked happily in approval. “Well, I guess that covers everyone in this family who was already born.“, Steve said. “Yeah, and the baby would still need time to grow teeth. So, we’ll just use the blender to make it baby-friendly for a while.“, Kevin Sr. said.

“Wait, Dexter still has his dog food. Are we also gonna be switching to Chinese dog food from now on too?“, Kevin asked. “Well, maybe Dexter can get a few pieces of orange chicken from time to time. He stays on the American dog food though.“, Anna said. “Well, now can we eat? Or else, I’ll have to eat Dexter’s food.“, Matthew said.

“Okay, son, we can all eat now. Let’s all say grace first.“, Kevin Sr. said. Grace began. “Heavenly Father, we thank you for this meal that we are about to receive for our bodies’ sake and nourishment. In Jesus Christ’s name, we pray. Amen.“, Kevin Sr. said.

“Amen.“, everyone else said who was human and already born. Dexter barked happily. Then everyone (born and unborn) started eating.

***

It was Friday, April 23, 2004. It was evening. Steve and Kevin were in their room talking.

“So, you think you’re still gonna have two girlfriends after our new little brother or sister is sent home from the hospital?“, Steve asked. “Don’t count on it. I plan to set things straight with my other girlfriend before the baby is born. Then I’ll be with just Stacy again after the delivery.“, Kevin said. “I personally think you’re still gonna have two girlfriends, but good luck with that.“, Steve said.

Matthew came into the room. “What are you two talking about?“, Matthew asked. “None of your beeswax, get out of here!“, Kevin said looking at Matthew and pointing at the door.

“Don’t worry, I’ll handle this.“, Steve said. Steve walked up to Matthew. “None of your beeswax, get out of here!“, Kevin said looking at Matthew and pointing at the door.

“Well handled.“, Kevin said. “Thank you very much.“, Steve said. “Hey, you can’t tell me what to do.“, Matthew said.

“Yes, we can. You wanna know why? Because we’re the older siblings. You’re still the youngest sibling. And it’s our room. So, there’s the door. I suggest you use it.“, Steve said. “What were you two just talking about earlier?“, Matthew asked. “None of your beeswax! Get out!“, Steve said.

“Make me.“, Matthew said smiling. “Hey, you just gonna let a little kindergartner like him talk to you like that?“, Kevin asked. “No, I’m not.“, Steve said.

“If you don’t get out right now, I’m gonna make your life heck on Earth. And trust me, you don’t want me to have to turn into the devil.“, Steve said. “You and what army?“, Matthew asked. “What are you talking about? You’re a kindergartner. What in the heck do I need an army for?“, Steve said.

“What are you gonna do?“, Matthew asked. “I’ll-. I’ll-. Ummmmmmm, I don’t know yet, but I’ll figure out something real soon.“, Steve said. “Figure it out now.“, Matthew said.

“No!“, Steve said. “Then I’m not leaving.“, Matthew said. “Okay, this is your last warning.“, Steve said.

“Okay, this is your last warning.“, Matthew said. “What?“, Steve asked. “What?“, Matthew asked.

“Hey!“, Steve said. “Hey!“, Matthew said. “Are you copying me?“, Steve asked. “Are you copying me?“, Matthew asked.

“Stop it!“, Steve said. “Stop it!“, Matthew said. “No, I mean it! Stop it right now!“, Steve said. “No, I mean it! Stop it right now!“, Matthew said.

Then Steve didn’t say a single word. Matthew also didn’t say a single word. “I’m an idiot.“, Steve said. “You’re an idiot.“, Matthew said smiling.

Kevin was laughing hard and he continued laughing. Kevin laughed some more. “Aw, man! This is hilarious!“, Kevin said.

“No, it’s not.“, Steve said. “No, it’s not.“, Matthew said. “Now, this dude is copying everything I say just to irritate me. I guess that’s his way of getting back at me.“, Steve said. “Now, this dude is copying everything I say just to irritate me. I guess that’s his way of getting back at me.“, Matthew said.

“I’m going to bed now, but we’re not done here. See you tomorrow.“, Matthew said. Matthew left the bedroom. Steve walked up to the bedroom door and closed it.

“Now, what am I supposed to do?“, Steve asked. “Hey, don’t ask me. He’s your problem now.“, Kevin said. Kevin started getting ready for bed. “Hey, don’t ask me. He’s your problem now.“, Steve said. Then Steve started getting ready for bed.

***

It was Saturday, April 24, 2004. It was late evening. Steve and Kevin were about to head to bed in their pajamas in their room.

“Man, Matthew sure has been a pain in the but today.“, Steve said. “Man, Matthew sure has-.“, Kevin said. “Shut up, Kev!“, Steve said.

“Okay, sorry, go on.“, Kevin said smiling. “Not only has Matthew been copying everything I say. He’s also been copying everything I do.“, Steve said. “Well, maybe it’s because you’re such a good role model for him.“, Kevin said joking and smiling.

“What do you think I should do to fix this so things are back to normal?“, Steve asked. “Maybe you could start copying him. That way, the tables would be turned making you the copier and him the victim.“, Kevin said. “You know what, that’s actually not a bad idea. Okay, that’s what I’ll try to do. But to pull that off, he’d have to say or do something that I’m not doing or saying.“, Steve said.

“Well, that’s as far as my help goes. Sorry, Steve, wish I could help you out a little more with this copying problem, but I think it’s about time we both get some shuteye.“, Kevin said. “Knowing that little demon, he’s probably gonna copy me even in his sleep. And the dream the same dreams. And take the same amount of time to fall asleep.“, Steve said. “Yeah, well, you better hope that the next youngest sibling doesn’t do the same thing to you five years down the road.“, Kevin said.

“I’ll turn off the light for the both of us.“, Steve said. “Thanks, dude. I really appreciate it.“, Kevin said. “You’re welcome.“, Steve said.

Steve got up and turned off the bedroom light while Kevin got into his bed. After Steve turned off the bedroom light, Steve walked back over to his bed and got in it. Then both siblings were falling asleep and eventually fell asleep.

***

It was Sunday, April 25, 2004. It was in the overnight hours. Kevin Sr. (standing with Anna) knocked on Kevin and Steve’s door.

The knock failed to wake Kevin and Steve up. Then Kevin Sr. knocked on the door a second time. The second knock also failed to wake Kevin and Steve up.

Kevin Sr. knocked on the door a third time. The third knock failed to wake Kevin and Steve up. “Alright, I guess we’re going in.“, Kevin Sr. said.

Kevin Sr. and Anna walked into Kevin and Steve’s room. “Alright, time to wake up you two!“, Kevin Sr. said. Anna turned on the bedroom light.

Kevin and Steve started waking up. “What? What in the world? What time is it?“, Kevin asked sleepily. “It’s one in the morning.“, Anna said.

“What? One in the what? Why are we being woken up right now?“, Steve asked. “Well, remember when we said that there’s going to be some changes to be made around here?“, Kevin Sr. asked. “Yeah, so?“, Kevin asked. “Did we do something wrong and this is your way of punishing us?“, Steve asked.

“Nobody did anything wrong and no one is being punished. “Another one of the changes that will be made in this household is less sleep for everyone.“, Anna said. “And that includes the dog.“, Kevin Sr. said. “But why do you have to take something so beautiful and peaceful away from us?“, Kevin asked.

“Well, we don’t mean to sound like a broken record here, but the baby is close to coming out of my belly. Therefore, to be prepared for the late-night outbursts, a typical baby will usually have, we should all start getting less sleep.“, Anna said. “Consider it a baby drill. This is just to try and make the baby’s new life a little easier.“, Kevin Sr. said. “So, our message to you two is to simply get less sleep.“, Anna said. “Good night, boys. Or should I say, good morning.“, Kevin Sr. said.

Kevin Sr. walked towards the bedroom door and left the bedroom. Anna turned off the bedroom light and left the bedroom and closed the bedroom door. Steve’s parents walked away from the room.

“Dude, first Matthew copies me, and now this?!“, Steve asked exhaustedly. “Well, you know what, I don’t care what they say. Not even a little bit. I’m going to bed while I still can sleep without the noise of a crying baby. And I suggest you do the same thing. Good night. Or good morning. Whatever.“, Kevin said tiredly. Then Kevin crashed and fell asleep in his bed.

“Well, there must’ve been some reason you were born first.“, Steve said. Steve stopped talking. Then Steve crashed and fell asleep in his bed.

***

Later that Sunday, Kevin and Steve were sitting on the living room couch watching TV in the afternoon. Matthew entered the living room. Matthew walked over to the living room couch.

Matthew sat down next to Steve on the living room couch to copy the same thing Steve was doing. All three brothers were watching TV together. All three brothers continued watching TV together.

“Look, you little demon.“, Steve said. “Look, you little demon.“, Matthew said. “You’ll eventually make a mistake and not do or say the same thing I did. And when that happens, boom! I’ll turn the tables on you and start copying you. Then we’ll both see who the real master of the copy game is. Now, let’s see if you can memorize everything I just said and repeat it out loud. The same way I said it with the same words.“, Steve said.

Steve smiled and looked at the TV. “Yes, I’m finally free of being copied.“, Steve said to himself in his mind. Steve’s parents came into the living room.

“Hey, just wanted to inform you all that we got rid of all the digital cable stations.“, Kevin Sr. said. “You did what?!“, Kevin asked. “Yep, we sure did.“, Anna said.

“But why?“, Steve asked. “It’s another one of the changes we’re making for the upcoming baby.“, Kevin Sr. said. “We don’t want our child exposed to any inappropriate content. Therefore, we’ve reduced how many channels we get to decrease the chance of the child seeing something he or she may not be mature enough for yet.“, Anna said.

“Can’t you just use the parental control feature or something?“, Kevin asked. “I think the lack of sleep is affecting their brains.“, Steve said. “Oh, well, that sure does explain a lot.“, Kevin said.

“But how are we supposed to live and function properly without digital?“, Steve asked. “Come on, son, it’s not like digital is food and water.“, Kevin Sr. said. “You mean Chinese food and water.“, Kevin said.

“Well, that’s the change we both decided to make. And that change stays whether you two like it or not.“, Anna said. Kevin sighed. “Fine, I guess I’ll just have to work with fewer channels from now on.“, Kevin said. Steve sighed. “Same.“, Steve said.

“There’s that’s the baby spirit.“, Kevin Sr. said. “Okay, now, we’re gone. Enjoy your shows, fellas.“, Anna said. Kevin Sr. and Anna left the living room.

“Is it just me or are these changes starting to get out of control?“, Kevin asked. “It’s not just you.“, Steve said. All three brothers continued watching TV.

“You’ll eventually make a mistake and not do or say the same thing I did. And when that happens...“, Matthew said. Matthew continued saying and doing the same things Steve just said and/or did earlier. “Hey, I forgot what I said! And what I did! Kev, do you know exactly what I just did starting at Noon?“, Steve asked.

“Beats me. I don’t remember either.“, Kevin said. Matthew continued doing everything Steve said and/or did earlier that night. “Whatever, let the kid have his fun. But next time, I’ll make sure I won’t forget my words or my actions.“, Steve said.

“You think copying me will make him get off your back and onto mines?“, Kevin said. “I wouldn’t even wish that on my worst enemy based on my experience so far.“, Steve said. “Come on, I don’t mind. Besides, a younger brother of mine who wants to be exactly like me is cool with me.“, Kevin said. Matthew continued doing and saying what Steve did. Then Kevin and Steve resumed watching TV.

***

It was Monday, April 26, 2004. It was evening. Kevin and Steve were in the living room watching WWE.

Matthew came into the living room. “Oh, no. Here we go again.“, Steve said. “Oh, no. Here we go again.“, Matthew said.

Matthew got on the living room couch and watched Monday Night Raw just like Steve was doing. Kevin, Steve, and Matthew continued watching WWE Monday Night Raw silently. Kevin, Steve, and Matthew continued watching WWE Monday Night Raw in silence some more.

Then Steve suddenly covered his mouth and sneezed. “Ah-choo!“, Matthew said covering his mouth and pretending to sneeze. The three brothers continued watching WWE Monday Night Raw in the living room.

Cody walked into the living room. “Hey, Cody, come here for a second.“, Steve said. “Hey, Cody, come here for a second.“, Matthew said. Cody walked over to Steve.

“What do you want?“, Cody asked. “So, what brings you here in the living room?“, Steve asked. “So, what brings you here in the living room?“, Matthew asked.

“I was going to get a glass of kitchen water if you don’t mind.“, Cody said. “Ah, I see.“, Steve said. “Ah, I see.“, Matthew said.

“So, that must mean you felt thirsty.“, Steve said. “So, that must mean you felt thirsty.“, Matthew said. “Yeah, pretty much.“, Cody said.

“How thirsty do you feel on a scale of 1-10?“, Steve asked. “How thirsty do you feel on a scale of 1-10?“, Matthew asked. “Why are you holding me up like this?“, Cody asked.

“Holding you up like what?“, Steve asked. “Holding you up like what?“, Matthew asked. “I don’t know what in the world you are talking about?“, Steve asked. “I don’t know what in the world you are talking about?“, Matthew asked.

“Explain.“, Steve said. “Explain.“, Matthew said. “Hey, back off you little rugrat! He was talking to me!“, Cody said.

“Are you just gonna go ahead and let him talk to you like that?“, Steve asked. “Are you just gonna go ahead and let him talk to you like that?“, Matthew asked. “Of course, he’s gonna go ahead and let me talk to him like that. He has no power or authority over me.“, Cody said.

“Are you just gonna let him talk about you like that?“, Steve asked. “Are you just gonna let him talk about you like that?“, Matthew asked. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.“, Cody said.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.“, Matthew said. “What?“, Cody asked. “What?“, Matthew asked.

“Hey, isn’t that what I just said?“, Cody asked. “Hey, isn’t that what I just said?“, Matthew asked. “Are you copying me?“, Cody asked. “Are you copying me?“, Matthew asked.

“You are copying me!“, Cody said. “You are copying me!“, Matthew said. “Stop copying me!“, Cody said. “Stop copying me!“, Matthew said.

“I said stop it right now!“, Cody said. “I said stop it right now!“, Matthew said. “Stop it!“, Cody said. “Stop it!“, Matthew said.

“Stop!“, Cody said. “Stop!“, Matthew said. “Nice going, Steve. Now, you put the Matthew curse on me.“, Cody said. “Nice going, Steve. Now you put the Matthew curse on me.“, Matthew said.

“Yes, I’m finally free at last! Now, he’s your problem from now on.“, Steve said. “Come on, you heard what he just said. Go. Copy him.“, Cody said. “Come on, you heard what he just said. Go copy him.“, Matthew said.

“Best. Monday. Night. Ever.“, Kevin said being entertained by something other than wrestling. Steve’s parents walked into the living room. “Mom, Dad, Matthew keeps copying me.“, Cody said.

“Mom, Dad, Matthew keeps copying me.“, Matthew said. “You’re Matthew! Idiot!“, Cody said. “You’re Matthew! Idiot!“, Matthew said.

“Shut up!“, Cody said. “Shut up!“, Matthew said. “Okay, that’s enough you two.“, Kevin Sr. said.

“Luckily for all of you, we’ve had plenty of time to come up with a plan for a situation just like this one.“, Anna said. “Okay, I’m listening.“, Cody said. “Okay, I’m listening.“, Matthew said.

“Instead of grounding you, we’re just going to give timeouts instead.“, Kevin Sr. said. “What? Why not ground him like usual.“, Kevin said. “Well, we concluded that grounding is overrated.“, Anna said.

“Therefore, we’re just gonna give out timeouts instead. It’s another one of our changes to set up a better childhood for the upcoming baby.“, Kevin Sr. said. “Matthew, go stand in the corner for ten minutes.“, Anna said. Matthew looked down in disappointment and walked over to the corner and stood there.

“And just to make sure he doesn’t escape, we’ll be standing here until the punishment is over.“, Kevin Sr. said. “There’s a whole lot of bad things that kids can do when the parents aren’t looking.“, Anna said. “Well, I don’t care what type of punishment is used. I’m just glad that I’m finally free from having my every word and action being copied.“, Cody said.

“Enjoy the rest of your evening everyone. Except for Steve and Matthew. Good night.“, Cody said. Cody left the living room. Kevin Sr. turned off the TV.

“Hey, what gives?“, Kevin asked. “We also decided that professional wrestling is too violent. We don’t want the new kid growing up thinking that violence is always the answer. Therefore, no more WWE from this point moving forward.“, Anna said. “But that’s not fair at all! There are tons of kids who watch professional wrestling and you don’t hear about them starting fights at school every single day.“, Steve said.

“Rules are rules. And as long as you are under our roof, you’ll obey them.“, Kevin Sr. said. “Great, now what are we gonna do on a Monday night now that wrestling is off-limits?“, Kevin asked. “You know, your imagination is a pretty awesome tool to come up with new things to do besides watching grown men hurt each other.“, Anna said.

“Men aren’t the only ones who wrestle on that show. We’re also missing out on grown women hurt each other which is even worse.“, Steve said. “I’m going to my room.“, Kevin said. Kevin got up and left the living room. “I hate change.“, Steve said before getting up and exiting the living room. Then it was just Kevin Sr., Anna, and Matthew in the living room.

***

It was Tuesday, May 4, 2004. It was a quarter before Midnight. Steve’s parents were in their pajamas in the living room.

“Guys, family meeting!“, Anna yelled. Steve and his brothers all entered the living room in their pajamas. “Have a seat.“, Kevin Sr. said.

“I wonder what’s gonna change this time.“, Kevin said. All four boys sat down on the living room couch. “We just wanted to say that we felt bad about making you guys miss out on wrestling.“, Anna said.

“So, you’re undoing that change?“, Steve asked. “We’re undoing all the changes we made going back to the switch to Chinese food every day.“, Kevin Sr. said. “Yes, thank God!“, Cody said. “Now, we can finally have pizza, chicken, and tacos again.“, Matthew said.

“What made you two change your mind all of a sudden?“, Kevin asked. “We were making you guys miss out on a lot. American food, digital cable, and wrestling which we just mentioned earlier.“, Kevin Sr. said. “And maybe we were going just a bit overboard about the arrival of our new baby being so close.“, Anna said.

“We just want what’s best for our new kid. And we just want what’s best for all of you. Therefore, everything is going to be back to normal as soon as possible.“, Kevin Sr. said. “Yes! Finally! Normal never sounded so better than right now.“, Kevin said. “So, I guess you wanna take that timeout back and just ground Matthew instead. Am I right?“, Steve said.

“Yeah, is Steve right?“, Cody asked. “Hey!“, Matthew said. “Nah, we’re not really in the grounding mood right now.“, Kevin Sr. said.

“Instead of grounding you, we’re gonna have you go ahead and apologize to Steve and Cody for copying their every move.“, Anna said. “I’m sorry for copying you guys. Can you please forgive me?“, Matthew said. “Nah, I and Cody have been a real jerk to you which is the reason you were copying us in the first place. You were trying to get back at us by annoying us and it worked really well. Therefore, I’m sorry.“, Steve said. “I’m sorry too. Can you please forgive us?“, Cody said.

“Let’s forgive each other.“, Matthew said. “You know what, that’s an even better idea. I forgive you.“, Steve said. “I forgive you too.“, Cody said.

“And I forgive you both.“, Matthew said. Matthew got into a group hug with Steve and Cody. “Aw, that’s so sweet. I’m gonna go to the bathroom. I’ll see you in the bedroom, honey.“, Anna said.

Anna kissed Kevin Sr. and went to the bathroom. “Hey, let’s all also agree to not have Chinese food for a whole year.“, Kevin said. “Maybe a month. I don’t know about a whole year.“, Kevin Sr. said.

“How about for just a week?“, Steve asked. “Possibly.“, Kevin Sr. said. Then Kevin Sr. started talking with the boys.

Moments later, it was a quarter after Midnight. Kevin Sr. was still talking with his sons. Anna rushed out of the bathroom and into the living room.

“I think this is finally it!“, Anna said. “What’s finally it? Do people forget that I’m still in Kindergarten?“, Matthew asked. “Are you actually saying what I think you’re saying?“, Kevin Sr. asked.

“I am. The baby is finally coming.“, Anna said. “Wow, well, we need to hurry up, get dressed, and drive you to the hospital. ASAP.“, Kevin Sr. said. Anna nodded in agreement.

Steve’s parents hurried up and left the living room to go get dressed. “Wait, if they are going to the hospital, who’s gonna watch over us while they are gone?“, Matthew asked. Then Kevin, Steve, Cody, and Matthew continued sitting on the living room couch.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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