The 00's: Year Three

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The 00's Virus

It was Monday, May 10, 2004. It was morning. Before school, I was still lying in my bed.

My Mom opened my bedroom door. “Hey, it’s time to get up and get ready for school. What are you still doing in bed?“, my Mom said. “I don’t think I’m gonna be going to school today.“, I said.

“Why not?“, my Mom asked. “Because I’m not feeling well.“, I said. “What do you mean you’re not feeling well?“, my Mom asked.

“I have a terrible headache.“, I said. My Mom walked over to my bed. My Mom felt my forehead with her hand.

“You are warm.“, my Mom said. My Mom took her hand off of my forehead. “Now do you believe me?“, I asked.

“Okay, you can stay home from school today.“, my Mom said. “Thanks.“, I said. “Hey, do you know what’s wrong with me?“, I asked.

“I’m not sure. I’m not a doctor or anything. Maybe you haven’t been drinking enough fluids or something. But it could be anything. A cold, the flu, allergies, anything.“, my Mom said. “Well, will I be able to go to school tomorrow?“, I asked. “I’m not sure about that either. We’ll just have to wait and see.“, my Mom said.

“Well, this has got to be the worst headache I’ve felt in about ten years. And that’s my whole life.“, I said. “Don’t worry, you’ll eventually get better soon.“, my Mom said. “Yeah, I hope so.“, I said. My Mom left the room.

***

Later in the day, it was afternoon. After school, I was lying in bed in my room. My cell phone started ringing.

I picked up the phone. “Hello?“, I asked. “Hey, it’s me.“, Steve said.

“Oh, hey.“, I said. “Listen, do you wanna come over to my place and play this new game that I got?“, Steve asked. “I wish I could, but I can’t.“, I said.

“Well, since it’s May, may I ask why not?“, Steve asked. “I’ve got a terrible headache and a bad fever.“, I said. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Are you sick or something?“, Steve said.

“I’m not sure. Yeah, maybe.“, I said. “Well, if you are sick, I hope you feel better soon and make a full recovery. If this continues, I recommend not going to school until you are well again.“, Steve said. “Yeah, that’s a smart idea. If I am sick, I don’t want to go to school and possibly make other kids or adults sick.“, I said.

“Well, since you’re not available, I guess I’ll play my new game with Kevin.“, Steve said. “Yeah, good thinking, Steve. Oh, and congratulations on your new baby brother. I’m happy for you.“, I said. “Thanks. You know, he has my blue eyes.“, Steve said.

“But I thought your whole family has blue eyes.“, I said. “Well, what I meant to say was that he has my tone of blue.“, Steve said. “But doesn’t your whole family has the same tone of blue?“, I asked.

“You know what? Forget it. Just hang in there, dude. See ya.“, Steve said. “Okay, bye.“, I said. Steve hung up. I put down my phone and continued to suffer.

***

It was Wednesday, May 12, 2004. It was evening. After school, Two Seconds To Detroit got together to perform in the basement of the apartment complex.

“Hey, where is Jamal at?“, Brad asked. “Oh, Jamal couldn’t make it.“, Steve said. “Since it is May, may we ask why he couldn’t make it?“, Nathan asked.

“Because he’s sick. He has the flu and is not going to be at school until he is his normal self again.“, Steve said. “That’s why he’s missed three straight days.“, Steve said. “Well, when is he gonna be his normal self again?“, Ariana asked.

“There’s no way to know that for sure. The flu can last several days or weeks, so don’t expect him to be fully well again overnight.“, Steve said. “Well, I guess this means that there will be no making out between Jamal and Amanda for a while.“, Kevin said. “Are you kidding? Amanda would not care one bit about catching the flu as long as her lips are on his lips.“, Brad said.

“Shut up! I would not get myself sick like that. We can still pretend we’re kissing through the phone.“, Amanda said smiling. “So, now that Jamal isn’t here, who is gonna take his place?“, Ariana asked. “Unfortunately, no one. We’ll just have to go without a cameraman until he gets better.“, Steve said.

“Well, that’s good enough for me. Now, I’m ready to rock and roll. So, let’s do what we all do best. Rock. Roll. Let’s go.“, Brad said. “Okay, is everyone ready?“, Steve asked. “As ready as a sponge with his own TV show.“, Jessica said. “Okay, well, let’s get started. One, two, three, four.“, Steve said. Then Two Seconds To Detroit started performing Walkie Talkie Man by Steriogram with Steve singing the lyrics.

[Verse 1]
Well you’re walkin and a talkin
And a movin and a groovin
And a hippin and a hoppin
And a pickin and a boppin
Those bods are being bad
You better take a stand
You gonna wake up that thing in your hand
You’re looking all around
There is trouble to be found
Make sure when you find it you get to say it loud
Gotta code three
Need back up
Bring me
My bright red fluro jacket

[Chorus]
He’s fat and he don’t run too fast
But he’s faster than me
Last night at the show we saw him
Going out of his tree

Well you’re walkin and a talkin
You’re my walkie talkie man
Well you’re walkin and a talkin
Go Go Go Go

[Verse 2]
Well you’re walkin and a talkin
And a freakin and a yellin
And a bossin and a speakin
And a lookin and a pointin
Always tell us what to do
With your high top shoes
And you wave your torch
With your black short shorts
Don’t let em get away
Don’t think they can play
Nail ’em to the wall
Cause you really need to say
Gotta code three
Need back up
Bring me
My bright red fluro jacket

Two Seconds Two Detroit finished playing that song. “Okay, nice job everyone.“, Steve said. “Yeah, I wish we were able to record that. Man, why did Jamal have to be the one to get sick?“, Brad said. Then Two Seconds To Detroit continued performing music.

***

It was Thursday, May 13, 2004. It was evening. After school, I was lying on my bed in my lit room.

My cell phone started ringing. I picked up the phone to see who it was. “Hello?“, I asked.

“Hey, baby.“, Amanda said smiling. “Hey.“, I said. “So, Steve told us about what’s been going on with you the past few days.“, Amanda said.

“Yeah, I wish I had gotten my flu shot to prevent this from happening. Then we’d be able to make out as long as we’d want to without putting you at risk.“, I said. “Yeah, well, just because we can’t kiss in-person doesn’t mean we can’t kiss through the phone.“, Amanda said. “I like the way you think.“, I said.

“I think about you a lot. So, you should like the way I think. Come on, let’s kiss right now. I know you want to.“, Amanda said. “Jamal, it’s time for dinner!“, my Mom yelled from outside my room. “It’s time for me to have my dinner. I’ll call you back as soon as I can.“, I said.

“Okay. I wish I could be there and kiss you to make the flu go away.“, Amanda said. “Thanks. Gotta go. I love you.“, I said. “I love you back.“, Amanda said. I hung up the phone.

***

Moments later, I was in the dining room. My Mom sat down a couple of jelly sandwiches on the dining room table. “Jelly sandwiches for dinner?“, I asked.

“I know it’s not what’s usually for dinner, but I was thinking that maybe it’ll help the flu disappear.“, my Mom said. “Well, I guess I can’t complain about that logic.“, I said. Then I put my hands together and silently said grace.

I began eating the sandwiches. “Well, enjoy.“, my Mom said. My Mom walked over to the TV that was in the dining room, picked up the TV remote, and turned on the TV.

After my Mom flipped through a few channels, she stopped flipping channels and sat the TV remote down somewhere. My Mom exited the dining room to enter the kitchen and I started watching the TV as I was eating. I continued watching the TV and eating my dinner.

Then something didn’t feel right. I continued eating and watching TV. The strange feeling continued, but I kept ignoring it.

I continued eating my dinner and watching the TV. Then I quickly put one of my partially-eaten sandwiches down, got up, ran into the kitchen, and started vomiting into the kitchen sink. “What in the world?” my Mom asked as she saw me throwing up some of my food.

I continued vomiting, and trust me when I say that it wasn’t a pleasant experience at all. In fact, it was a terrible experience. I continued vomiting into the kitchen sink.

I stopped vomiting. “Okay, now that you’ve got that out of your system, are you done now?“, my Mom asked. “Yeah, I think I-.“, I said.

I stopped talking and started vomiting again. “I’m gonna have to remind myself to get a new sink installed.“, my Mom said to herself. I continued vomiting into the kitchen sink.

***

It was Friday, May 14, 2004. It was overnight. In my lit room, there was a TV playing and I was lying on my bed in my room while my Mom was taking my temperature with a thermostat.

My Mom looked at the thermostat. “You’re still warm.“, my Mom said. I covered my mouth with a tissue and coughed several times. I threw the tissue away in a nearby trash can.

“This has got to be the worst I’ve ever felt in my entire life.“, I said. “Don’t worry, you’ll eventually be your normal self again.“, my Mom said. “I’m sorry for throwing up my dinner into the kitchen sink earlier.“, I said. “Apology accepted. You’ll recover from this virus faster if you get a lot of bed rest.“, my Mom said.

“Well, this is the perfect time to start falling asleep.“, I said. “I’ll go ahead and tuck you in.“, my Mom said. My Mom started tucking me in.

My Mom finished tucking me in and was heading for the bedroom door. “Well, good night my little juicy ju.“, my Mom said. My Mom turned off the light and almost left the room.

“Wait!“, I said. My Mom turned the light back on. “Can you sleep with me in here tonight?“, I asked.

“Why?“, my Mom asked. “I would feel a little better if you were in here with me.“, I said. My Mom sighed.

“Okay, fine, I’ll sleep in here with you tonight. Just let me get a chair and my cover. I’ll be right back.“, my Mom said. My Mom left the bedroom. “And don’t take too long.“, I said. I sneezed into another tissue.

I sneezed again covering my mouth. Then I sneezed for the third time covering my mouth. “What in the world did I do to deserve this?“, I asked myself.

Moments later, my room was dark as the TV was still playing and my Mom was sitting next to me. “Alright, now, go ahead and get some sleep. Good night.“, my Mom said. “Okay, good night, Mom. Sweet dreams.“, I said. My Mom started falling asleep. Then I started falling asleep.

I stopped falling asleep. “Can you sing me a song?“, I said. My Mom stopped falling asleep.

“Why do you want me to sing you a song?“, my Mom asked. “To help me fall asleep so I can get well. Please. Pretty please.“, I said. My Mom sighed.

“Alright, what song would you like me to sing to you?“, my Mom asked. “Any song is okay as long as it’s peaceful, relaxing, and can put me to sleep.“, I said. “Okay, I’ll try my best.“, my Mom said.

My Mom cleared her throat. My Mom cleared her throat some more. She started singing.

Hush little baby, don’t say a word
Mama’s gonna buy you a mockin’ bird
And if that mockin’ bird won’t sing
Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring
And if that diamond ring is brass
Mama’s gonna buy you a lookin’ glass
And if that lookin’ glass gets broke
Mama’s gonna buy you a billy goat
And if that billy goat won’t pull
Mama’s gonna buy you a cart and bull
And if that cart and bull turn over
MAma’s gonna buy you a dog named Rover
And if that dog named Rover won’t bark
MAma’s gonna buy you a horse and cart
And if that horse and cart fall down
You’ll still be the sweetest little baby in town
Sleep child, and when you do
Dream a dream to drift you through the night
That lingers through the day
Tonight
If dreams are few
I’ll sing this lullaby for you
Sleep child, for dreams always come true
Lullaby and goodnight, may sleep softly surround you
While your dreams fill your eyes with a melody of love
May the moonlight embrace you
The starlight caress you
May the sunlight still sing you this lullaby of love
Ladada ladada ladaladadalada

My Mom stopped singing. “Well, are you asleep yet?“, my Mom asked. “No, maybe I’ll go to sleep if you whisper while singing. Could you do that for me? Please?“, I said.

My Mom sighed. “Okay, fine. And you better go to sleep this time. No one said to me ten years ago that being a mother was going to be a piece of cake.“, my Mom said. My Mom started singing while whispering.

Hush little baby, don’t say a word
Mama’s gonna buy you a mockin’ bird
And if that mockin’ bird won’t sing
Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring
And if that diamond ring is brass
Mama’s gonna buy you a lookin’ glass
And if that lookin’ glass gets broke
Mama’s gonna buy you a billy goat
And if that billy goat won’t pull
Mama’s gonna buy you a cart and bull
And if that cart and bull turn over
MAma’s gonna buy you a dog named Rover
And if that dog named Rover won’t bark
MAma’s gonna buy you a horse and cart
And if that horse and cart fall down
You’ll still be the sweetest little baby in town
Sleep child, and when you do
Dream a dream to drift you through the night
That lingers through the day
Tonight
If dreams are few
I’ll sing this lullaby for you
Sleep child, for dreams always come true
Lullaby and goodnight, may sleep softly surround you
While your dreams fill your eyes with a melody of love
May the moonlight embrace you
The starlight caress you
May the sunlight still sing you this lullaby of love
Ladada ladada ladaladadalada

After my Mom stopped singing, she saw me sleeping like a baby. “Good night my little juicy ju.“, my Mom said before she started falling asleep. My Mom started falling asleep. My Mom fell asleep. Then my Mom was sleeping like a baby resulting in both of us sleeping like babies.

***

It was Saturday, May 15, 2004. It was afternoon. Kevin was in the living room watching TV all by himself at his place. A knock was heard at the front door.

Kevin got up from the couch to go see who it was. Kevin walked to the front door. “Who is it?“, Kevin’s other girlfriend asked.

“It’s me.“, the girl said. Kevin opened the door for his other girlfriend and the girl walked in. Kevin closed the front door.

“Hey, what’s up? Have a seat.“, Kevin said. The girl took a seat and started watching TV. Kevin sat down and started watching TV with the girl.

Both kids continued watching TV. Both kids continued watching TV some more. “So, how is your Saturday going so far?“, Kevin asked.

“It’s going good.“, Kevin said. “That’s good.“, the girl said. Both kids continued watching TV.

Another knock was heard at the front door. “I’ll get it.“, Kevin said. Kevin got up and walked over to the front door.

“Who is it?“, Kevin asked. “It’s me.“, Stacy said. “Hey, I’ve never heard that voice before in my entire life. Who is that sweetheart?“, the girl said.

“Okay, um, just hold on for one second!“, Kevin said. “Um, um, that’s another one of my friends whose voice you haven’t heard before.“, Kevin said. “Oh, okay. Well, can I meet her? Maybe we can become really cool friends.“, the girl said.

“Um, I don’t think so. You need to hide. Quickly.“, Kevin said. “What? Why do I need to hide?“, the girl asked. “Um, because, um, because she has a virus. Yep, she has a virus. That’s what I was originally going to say.“, Kevin said.

“If she has a virus, why do I have to be the one to hide and not you?“, the girl asked. “Um, because, um, because the virus only infects females. Yep, it only infects females. That’s also what I was originally going to say.“, Kevin said. “Well, if the virus only infects females, shouldn’t your Mom be hiding since she is still the only female here even with the new baby?“, the girl asked.

“Um, well, see, my Mom is already far enough. Therefore, there’s no need to worry about her getting infected. But you’re not far enough. So, you need to hide. Right now. Come on, let’s roll.“, Kevin said. The girl got up from the couch. “But wait, where do I hide?“, the girl asked as she was being moved out of the living room.

“Um...“, Kevin said as he looked around for a good hiding spot. “Over there. You can hide in that closet over there. Come on, let’s hurry up and move. We don’t want her to be standing out there until 2005.“, Kevin said talking about the front closet. Kevin and the girl were walking toward the closet.

The girl was in the closet. “Oh, and maybe you can tell her a little bit about me.“, the girl said. “Yeah, maybe. Not today though.“, Kevin said. Kevin closed the front door closet shut. Kevin ran over to the front door and opened it.

“Hey, sorry I had to keep you waiting for so long.“, Kevin said. Stacy walked in. Kevin closed the front door.

“Hey, who was that you were talking to?“, Stacy asked. “Now, come on, does it really matter who I was talking to? Come on, have a seat. Watch some TV with me.“, Kevin said. “Okay, TV always sounds good on the weekend.“, Stacy said.

Kevin and Stacy sat down and started watching TV. Kevin and Stacy continued watching TV. Kevin and Stacy continued watching TV some more.

“Hey, I got us some snacks.“, Stacy said. “Oh, okay, cool. I have no problems with snacks at all. Sure, snacks are cool with me.“, Kevin said. “Cool.“, Stacy said.

Stacy went into her backpack. Stacy had two candy products in each hand. “Do you want Snickers or Skittles?“, Stacy asked.

“Man, that’s a really tough decision. Can I get some time to think about it?“, Kevin said. “Kevin, you’re picking candy. Not what college major you want to specialize in, silly.“, Stacy said smiling. “Okay, well, can I pick you?“, Kevin asked.

“I mean Skittles!“, Kevin said quickly. “I’ll go with Skittles. That’s what I originally meant to say and not you. Skittles. Final answer.“, Kevin said. “Well, it can be difficult for me to control all of this sweetness sometimes. Here you go.“, Stacy said smiling.

“Thanks.“, Kevin said. “And when did I end up becoming the host of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?“, Stacy asked. “Well, you may not be the host of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, but you could make a great host for a game show called Who Wants To Be A Candyaire.“, Kevin said.

Stacy laughed a little. “You are such a funny guy. I’m not surprised that we ended up to-.“, Stacy said. “Wait! Hold that thought! I have to, um...“, Kevin said.

“You have to do what? Are you trying to tell me you have to use the restroom?“, Stacy asked. “Right. The restroom. Yeah, that’s what I was trying to say. I have to use the restroom real quick. I’ll be right back.“, Kevin said. Kevin got up and went to go pretend that he was using the bathroom.

Stacy saw Kevin exit the living room. Stacy started opening her Snickers bar and started eating it. Stacy watched TV while waiting for her boyfriend and eating candy.

Dexter walked up to Stacy. Dexter started staring at Stacy. “Hello, sir. Can I help you?“, Stacy said.

Dexter barked at Stacy. “No, sir. You cannot have this. This is chocolate. I know pretty well how bad chocolate is for creatures like you.“, Stacy said. Dexter barked at Stacy some more.

“I said no!“, Stacy said. Dexter barked at Stacy some more. “What part of no do you not understand? The n or the o?“, Stacy asked.

Dexter whimpered and walked away from Stacy. Stacy saw the dog walk away. Then Stacy continued watching TV.

***

It was Sunday, May 16, 2004. It was evening. I was in my lit bedroom lying on my bed while I was still sick.

My cell phone rang. I picked up my phone to see who it was. “Hello?“, I asked sounding miserable.

I sneezed again. “Hey, it’s me again. And bless you.“, Amanda said. “Thanks.“, I said. “You’re welcome.“, Amanda said.

“So, what’s up?“, I asked. “Oh, nothing much.“, Amanda said. “Oh, well, same here except for the torture that this virus is putting me through right now.“, I said. I sneezed. Then I sneezed again.

“Well, do you want me to kiss you through the phone so I can make it all better?“, Amanda asked smiling. “You know what? Yeah. Yeah, I’d love that.“, I said. Amanda made a kissing sound through the phone.

“There, all better?“, Amanda asked. “No, not really. How about another kiss?“, I said. Amanda made another kissing sound through the phone.

“There, all better now?“, Amanda asked. “Maybe just one more kiss.“, I said. “Okay, but I hope your health insurance can cover all these distant kisses I’m giving you.“, Amanda said.

Amanda made another kissing sound through the phone. “Now, blow a kiss to me.“, I said. Amanda kissed her hand and blew a kiss. “All better now?“, Amanda asked.

“How about you kiss me all night?“, I asked. Amanda laughed a little. “Come on, you know I can’t do that. I’ve got school in the morning.“, Amanda said.

“But I still don’t better.“, I said. “I’ll tell you what, why don’t you think of me kissing you non-stop until you go to sleep. That might make you feel better and get rid of the flu. Is that okay with you?“, Amanda said. “Whatever you say, Dr. Amanda.“, I said.

“Excellent.“, Amanda said. “Well, how about you give me one last kiss before I go to bed?“, I asked. “One big, wet, sloppy kiss coming up.“, Amanda said. Then Amanda made a long kissing noise that was music to my ears.

“There, are you happy now?“, Amanda asked. “I sure am. Thanks. Good night. I love you.“, I said. “I love you too.“, Amanda said. I hung up the phone and sat my phone down somewhere. “These lips are gonna be in his head all night.“, Amanda said to herself before getting ready to go to bed.

***

It was Monday, May 17, 2004. It was afternoon. I and the gang were hanging out at the nearby playground after school.

“So, who knew that Amanda’s lips were the answer to Jamal becoming his normal self again?“, Jessica asked. “I don’t think no one knew, Jess. We’re so glad to finally have you back, dude.“, Kevin said. “Yeah, if it wasn’t for Amanda, I’d be still over at my place lying in bed and suffering. It sure has been an unpleasant week for me.“, I said.

“Yeah, but just because you had an unpleasant week in the past doesn’t mean you won’t have a pleasant week in the future.“, Steve said. “And I missed you all so much. It just wasn’t the same without you all in my life in person.“, I said. “We all missed you too. I guess positive thoughts and feelings are the real medicine for illnesses.“, Ariana said.

“So, what did I miss while I was gone?“, I asked. “Oh, nothing much. Except for the fact that I had to hide one of my girlfriends in the closet when the other girlfriend came over to visit.“, Kevin said. “Well, I see at least a few things haven’t changed.“, I said.

“Speaking of things not changing, why don’t we head over to that bush over there and catch up on what we’ve been missing?“, Amanda said smiling. “Well, I’m happy to know that my thoughts from last night are starting to become reality.“, I said smiling. I and Amanda held hands and walked over to a nearby bush to kiss in person again.

“Hey, what if he’s still contagious and can still make Amanda sick?“, Brad asked. “No worries, a person stops being contagious 5-7 days after being sick with symptoms. She should be just fine.“, Nathan said. “Okay, I’ve got a question. How in the world do you know that?“, Steve said.

“Because my Dad is a doctor and he taught me a thing or two in the past.“, Nathan said. “Well, let’s head over to that bush over there and make out before you get sick.“, Ariana said to Steve. “You got it, babe.“, Steve said. Then Steve and Ariana went over to a nearby bush to kiss.

“Hey, Kevin, don’t you got two girlfriends to kiss or something?“, Brad asked. The remaining kids laughed and walked away from Kevin. “Uh, hey, I’m not laughing here. Hold up, wait for me!“, Kevin said. Kevin ran to the remaining kids. And it all turned out to be a very happy ending for me.

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