***DEXTER’S POINT OF VIEW***
It was Sunday, November 30, 2003. It was the afternoon. Dexter was in the hallway ripping up a box with his teeth.
Pieces of the box were all over the hallway floor. Then Dexter started ripping up pieces of the box. The pieces started getting smaller and smaller.
Then Dexter heard a conversation that got started in Steve and Kevin’s bedroom. Dexter stopped what he was doing. Dexter walked closer to that bedroom which had its door open.
Dexter saw Steve and Kevin inside and decided to just watch them talk. “Dude, it’s been another week and I still have two girlfriends. I can’t just let this go on forever.“, Kevin said. “Well, maybe they’ll shut the site down twenty years from now or something. Then it won’t last forever and you’ll have one girlfriend again.“, Steve said.
“But I don’t feel like waiting twenty years to lose this chick. I’d settle for something that can make me lose her at least by the end of this year.“, Kevin said. “Well, I don’t know what to tell you. I guess you still are gonna have to figure this one out on your own.“, Steve said. Kevin looked outside the room.
“Hey, why are there box pieces on the hallway floor?“, Kevin asked. Steve looked outside the room. Steve walked up to Dexter.
“Dexter, did you do this?“, Steve asked. Dexter turned around and saw the mess that he created. Dexter had a guilty look on his face that couldn’t be seen outside his point of view.
“You’re in big, big trouble mister.“, Kevin said. “We better clean this up before Mom sees it or she’s gonna freak. And she’s not just gonna freak. She’s gonna pregnancy freak.“, Steve said. “What? Why should we clean up Dexter’s mess? He’s the one that did it. Make the dog clean it up.“, Kevin said.
“You seriously think dogs know how to clean up after themselves? If they do, I must be dreaming or something.“, Steve said. “Well, maybe Dad will see it first before Mom so she won’t have to pregnancy freak.“, Kevin said. “I sure hope you’re right, Kev.“, Steve said.
“What in the world?!“, Anna yelled. “Well, I guess it turns out I’m wrong.“, Kevin said. “Dexter, did you make this mess?!“, Anna said.
Dexter saw Anna and had a guilty look on his face. “Bad dog! You know better than to do this! Oh, what in the world am I saying?! You don’t know any better! You’re a dog for crying out loud! You, go to your crate!“, Anna said angrily and pointing in the direction of the crate. Dexter begged Anna not to make him go.
“Now!“, Anna said angrily. Dexter looked down and walked away to his crate. He walked from Anna to the hallway exit to the living room and entered his crate.
Anna walked over to the crate. Anna locked Dexter inside the crate. “And you’re not coming out of there until I say so!“, Anna said angrily. Anna walked away. Dexter begged to be set free from the crate but was still locked inside.
Sunday evening arrived. Steve’s family was almost ready to have dinner at the dinner table. Dexter was near two dog bowls. One had dog food and the other had water.
Dexter was looking at the rest of the family before grace. “Heavenly Father, we thank you for this food we’re about to receive in Jesus Christ’s name. Amen.“, Kevin Sr. said. “Amen.“, said the rest of the human family.
Then the humans started eating. Dexter started eating. Then everyone there was eating at the same time.
Moments later, Dexter was done with his dog food while the humans were still eating. Dexter walked up to Matthew and started begging for human food after finishing his dog food. Matthew looked at Dexter begging.
Matthew quietly gave Dexter a little bit of his food by throwing it on the floor. Dexter saw the food on the floor and consumed it. Dexter walked up to Cody.
Dexter begged Cody for some human food. Cody quietly gave Dexter a little human food. Dexter went to the food and happily consumed all of it.
Dexter walked up to Steve and begged him for some human food. Steve quietly gave Dexter a little bit of his food. Dexter gladly consumed the food that was lying on the floor.
Dexter walked up to Kevin and begged him for some human food. Kevin shook his head and quietly gave Dexter a little of his food. Dexter gladly accepted by consuming the food that was thrown onto the floor.
Dexter walked over to Anna and begged her for some human food. “Dexter, don’t you know that I’m eating for two. This little human inside of me needs to eat too.“, Anna said. Anna continued eating.
Dexter continued begging. “No, Dexter. And that’s final.“, Anna said. Dexter continued begging. “I said no!“, Anna said angrily. Dexter walked away from Anna.
Dexter walked up to Kevin Sr. and started begging. “Stop begging people for food Dexter.“, Kevin Sr. said. Kevin Sr. continued eating. Dexter walked away from Kevin Sr. and stopped begging for human food. Dexter started looking at the family. “Okay, we have dessert tonight.“, Anna said after every human finished dinner.
Moments later, all the humans were having dessert. Dexter walked up to Matthew and begged. Matthew shook his head no to Dexter.
Dexter walked up to Cody and begged. Cody shook his head no to Dexter. Dexter walked away from Cody.
Dexter walked up to Steve and begged. Steve shook his head no to Dexter. Dexter walked away from Steve.
Dexter walked up to Kevin and begged. Kevin shook his head no to Dexter. Dexter walked away from Kevin.
Dexter walked up to Anna and begged. “No, Dexter. You can’t have chocolate brownies. You’re a dog and chocolate is doggie poison.“, Anna said. Dexter barked and barked some more. “No, I said!“, Anna yelled angrily.
“Okay, I’ve had just about enough of this. You, to your crate. Now.“, Kevin Sr. said pointing in the direction of the crate. Dexter begged the father not to be sent to the crate again. “I said now.“, Kevin Sr. said.
Dexter looked down in disappointment and started walking to his crate. Once inside, Kevin Sr. put Dexter’s water inside the crate and locked Dexter inside. Kevin Sr. walked away from the crate. Dexter was to stay inside as punishment for irritating a pregnant human female.
It was Saturday, December 6, 2003. It was in the afternoon. Dexter walked up to one of his bowls and started drinking some more water in the kitchen.
Once Dexter was finished with the water, he heard a conversation begin in the living room. Dexter exited the kitchen and entered the living room. In the living room, Dexter saw Kevin and Stacy watching TV together on the living room couch.
“So, what are your Mom and Dad doing right now?“, Stacy asked. “My parents are taking an afternoon nap. Why do you ask?“, Kevin said. Then Stacy quickly started kissing Kevin.
And as Kevin and Stacy’s lips were touching, Dexter was watching the two sixth-graders kiss. Dexter walked closer to the kissing couple and started watching some more. Kevin heard Dexter breathing and stopped kissing Stacy.
“Hey, beat it. Can’t you see where both in the middle of something over here?“, Kevin said. Kevin and Stacy resumed kissing. Dexter walked away from Kevin and Stacy to exit the living room.
Dexter went into the hallway and saw Steve and Ariana kissing inside Steve and Kevin’s bedroom. Dexter decided to walk inside that room without Steve and Ariana’s knowledge. Dexter walked closer to the kissing couple and started watching more of the action.
Steve heard Dexter breathing and stopped kissing Ariana. “Hey, what in the heck are you doing here? Get out. Can’t you see we’re both in the middle of something over here?“, Steve said. Steve and Ariana resumed kissing.
Dexter walked away from Steve and Ariana. Dexter left that bedroom. Then Dexter took a small nap himself in the hallway.
Moments later, Dexter was woken up when he heard the noise of the master bedroom door being opened. Steve’s parents walked outside the master bedroom. Dexter followed Kevin Sr. into the living room.
Kevin Sr. checked on Kevin and his girlfriend and saw the both of them watching TV. Kevin Sr. headed for the bathroom. Dexter saw Anna and decided to follow her as she was headed for Steve and Kevin’s room.
Anna checked on Steve and his girlfriend and saw both of them playing video games together on Steve’s Sony PlayStation2. Anna walked away from Steve and Kevin’s room. Then Dexter exited the hallway.
After Dexter exited the hallway, he entered the living room. And after Dexter entered the living room, he entered his crate voluntarily. And inside Dexter’s crate, Dexter decided to sleep a little bit longer after both couples successfully didn’t get caught kissing by Steve’s parents.
It was Sunday, December 7, 2003. It was evening. Dexter was sitting on the living room couch with Kevin and Steve as Kevin and Steve were watching TV.
Dexter was also looking at the TV screen but didn’t know what was going on. He was just looking at it to look at it. Kevin Sr. walked into the living room through the front door and bought home groceries as he had on his winter gear.
“Hey, you need any help with bringing in the groceries, Dad?“, Kevin said. “Yeah, we don’t mind at all.“, Steve said. “Thanks, fellas. I’d really appreciate that.“, Kevin Sr. said.
Kevin and Steve started helping Kevin Sr. bring in all the groceries. Once all the groceries were bought in, Kevin Sr. started putting up his winter gear in the front closet. Anna walked into the living room as Kevin and Steve resumed watching TV.
“Hey, sweetheart.“, Anna said. “Hey.“, Kevin Sr. said. Anna kissed Kevin Sr.
“Did you get me the chips I wanted?“, Anna asked. “I sure did.“, Kevin Sr. said. Kevin Sr. walked over to the grocery bags that were sitting on the dining room table.
Kevin Sr. pulled out a big can of Pringles from one of the bags. “And here you are.“, Kevin Sr. said as he handed Anna the Pringles. Anna looked at the can of Pringles.
“These are pizza-flavored Pringles. I thought I said I wanted just regular Pringles.“, Anna said. “No, you said you wanted Pringles. You didn’t say what flavor you wanted.“, Kevin Sr. said. “Uh, yes, I did. I said I wanted Pringles. Therefore, that means regular Pringles. Not any kind of Pringles.“, Anna said.
“Well, I’m sorry, dear. I misunderstood you. That’s all.“, Kevin Sr. said. “You’re gonna have to go back to the grocery store to return these Pringles and bring me back the regular Pringles I originally asked for in the first place.“, Anna said as she sat the Pringles down on the dining room table. “What?! Are you out of your mind?! There’s no way I’m going back out there in that cold weather for Pringles!“, Kevin Sr. said.
“Oh, okay, so I guess you want our unborn child to go hungry!“, Anna said angrily. “I never said that!“, Kevin Sr. said. “That is what you just said! I’m not in the mood to eat pizza-flavored Pringles! I had a taste for original Pringles! I mean come on, who in the universe do you think I am?! Steve’s best friend or something?! I don’t want them! And that’s final!“, Anna yelled angrily.
“Well, you know what, fine! Don’t eat ’em! I’ll just give them to Jamal if it makes you feel any better!“, Kevin Sr. yelled angrily. “Fine!“, Anna yelled angrily. “Fine!“, Kevin Sr. yelled angrily.
“Fine!“, Anna yelled angrily. “Fine!“, Kevin Sr. yelled angrily. “Fine!“, Anna yelled angrily. “Fine!“, both parents yelled angrily at the same time.
“I can’t believe you don’t care about your own unborn child anymore!“, Anna said breaking down and crying. Anna ran to the master bedroom. “Wait, honey, I’m sorry! That’s not what I said!“, Kevin Sr. said as he ran to the bedroom to comfort Anna.
“I sure do hope that our girlfriends don’t get this crazy when they become pregnant.“, Kevin said. “Yeah, totally.“, Steve said. Then Kevin and Steve resumed watching TV.
It was Saturday, December 13, 2003. It was the afternoon. I, Steve, and Dexter (who was on a leash that Steve was holding) were walking to the nearby playground as I and Steve were wearing winter jackets. Dexter was wearing his winter gear.
It was snowing outside and there was snow on the ground. “Hey, you won’t believe what just went down not long ago at my place.“, Steve said. “Okay, what went down?“, I asked.
“My Mom’s mood swings have gotten so bad that she even included you in a past argument she got into with Dad.“, Steve said. “What were they arguing about?“, I asked. “It was about Dad not getting Mom the Pringles she wanted. Dad got her the pizza kind when Mom originally wanted the regular kind. Then she said she didn’t want the chips and suggested giving those chips to you since pizza is your favorite food.“, Steve said.
“Awesome, well, where are the Pringles?“, I asked. “They weren’t serious, dude.“, Steve said. “Well, they might as well have been. Pizza-flavored Pringles are my favorite Pringles flavor.“, I said.
I and Steve made it to the playground down the street from the apartment complex. “Alright, we’ve made it. Go catch the frisbee, Dexter.“, Steve said as he threw the frisbee he was holding in the air. Dexter ran to the frisbee and caught it with his mouth.
“Good boy, Dexter!“, Steve said. Dexter started chewing on the frisbee. “Steve, look, Amanda and Ariana are here!“, I said.
Dexter turned around and saw I and Steve meet up with Amanda and Ariana. I and Steve walked up to Amanda and Ariana who were also wearing winter jackets. Dexter walked up to me, Steve, Amanda, and Ariana as we were all talking.
“Well, we both didn’t expect you guys to show up here today.“, Ariana said. “Yeah, it’s pretty chilly out here.“, Amanda said. “Hey, I’ve spent the last nine years living with Michigan weather. And so has Jamal. A little cold never hurt us.“, Steve said.
Ariana saw Dexter. “I see you bought the dog with you.“, Ariana said. “Yeah, and it seems like the cold temperature doesn’t affect him not one bit.“, Steve said.
“Well, no one else is here. So, I guess this means that we have this whole playground to ourselves.“, Amanda said. “So, what do you all want to do together?“, Ariana asked. “I’m not sure.“, I said. “Yeah, me neither.“, Steve said.
“Well, I’m pretty sure we’ll come up with something sooner rather than later.“, Amanda said. “Hey, I’ve got an idea.“, Ariana said. “Okay, the three of us are all ears.“, I said.
Moments later, a snowball fight was taking place as I, Steve, Amanda, and Ariana were all hitting each other with snowballs. Dexter was watching all four of us trying to hit each other with balls of snow. The snowball fight continued.
Snowballs were being thrown everywhere. Steve tried to hit Amanda with another snowball as Steve was chasing Amanda with a snowball in his hand. Steve threw the snowball and missed Amanda while accidentally hitting Dexter on his winter gear.
“Ooops, sorry about that Dexter.“, Steve said. Dexter barked at Steve. “Alright, alright, I’ll watch where I’m throwing next time! Geez!“, Steve said.
Dexter stopped barking at Steve. Steve threw another snowball at Dexter on purpose and ran away. Dexter playfully chased Steve.
Then I threw a snowball at Dexter. Dexter saw me. Then I ran and Dexter started chasing me.
As Dexter was chasing me, Amanda threw a snowball at Dexter. Dexter looked at Amanda. Amanda ran away and Dexter started chasing her.
And as Dexter was chasing Amanda, Ariana hit Dexter with a snowball. Dexter looked at Ariana. Ariana started running. Then Dexter chased Ariana.
Then Dexter got hit with three snowballs at the same time. Those snowballs got thrown by me, Steve, and Amanda. Then all four of us ran. Dexter started chasing us all around the playground.
Dexter continued chasing us all around the playground. We all continued to have fun with Dexter. And Dexter continued having fun with us.
Later that afternoon, all five of us stepped inside Steve’s place. We all started taking off our winter gear. “Man, who knew being a kid in the wintertime could be so much fun.“, Amanda said.
“Well, I don’t think it’s officially winter yet. But I totally agree.“, Steve said as he was taking off Dexter’s winter gear. “I really need to sit down for a moment. All that running around really took a lot out of me.“, Ariana said. Ariana sat down on the living room couch.
“I’m gonna go ahead and sit down as well.“, Amanda said. Amanda sat down on the living room couch. “Well, while you both are sitting down, would you fine ladies like a beverage or something? We’ve got a pack of Pepsi in the refrigerator.“, Steve said. “Sure, I’ll have a Pepsi.“, Ariana said. “Me too.“, Amanda said.
“How about you, you want a Pepsi?“, Steve asked. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m not thirsty right now.“, I said. “Okay, two Pepsis coming right up.“, Steve said. Steve exited the living room.
Dexter followed Steve into the kitchen. Dexter watched Steve as Steve went into the refrigerator and got out two bottles of regular Pepsi. Steve closed the door of the refrigerator.
Steve walked away from the refrigerator and entered the living room. “And here’s two carbonated soft drinks for two fine-looking young ladies. One Pepsi for the blonde and one Pepsi for the redhead.“, Steve said. Steve sat both drinks down on the living room table.
“Thanks, baby.“, Ariana said as she grabbed the soda. “Yeah, thanks, Steve.“, Amanda said as she grabbed the soda. “You’re very welcome.“, Steve said.
Amanda and Ariana started drinking as I sat down next to Amanda and Steve sat down next to Ariana. Both girls sat their drinks down on the living room table. “So, I wonder what else we should do together on this cold and wintery Saturday.“, Amanda said.
“Whatever you girls want. Anything would be fine with us.“, I said. “Wow, you really mean that?“, Ariana asked. “Of course we do.“, Steve said.
“And you two can decide anytime you want.“, I said. “Anytime?“, Amanda asked. “Yep, that’s what he just said.“, Steve said.
“Well, in that case, where are your parents at?“, Amanda asked Steve. “In bed taking a nap. Why?“. Steve said. “Well, in that case...“, Ariana said.
Then both girls immediately started kissing us. And as I touched lips with Amanda and Steve touched lips with Ariana, Dexter was watching all of the action. As the kissing continued, Dexter walked closer and closer to the living room couch.
Both girls heard the dog breathing. Amanda and Ariana stopped kissing us. “Steve, could you please do something about your dog?“, Amanda asked. “Yeah, he’s really making us uncomfortable right now.“, Ariana said.
“What? But how is he making you two uncomfortable?“, Steve asked. “Because he’s so close to us while we’re both making out which is inappropriate.“, Amanda said. “Totally inappropriate. Tell him to go find his girlfriend so he can have a girl to make out with.“, Ariana said.
“I don’t think it’s inappropriate at all for a dog to watch humans kissing.“, I said. “Yeah, I say he stays and that’s final.“, Steve said. “And I agree with Steve.“, I said.
“Ugh, both of you two are taking the dog’s side? Okay, that’s it. No more Pepsi for you two. And that’s final.“, Amanda said. “And I agree with Amanda.“, Ariana said. “But I love the taste of Pepsi in my mouth.“, Steve said.
“Sorry, no means no.“, Amanda said. Then there was nothing but silence. Amanda took another sip of Pepsi and so did Ariana. Amanda and Ariana took another sip of Pepsi and sat both drinks down. Both girls intentionally started to play mind games with us to make one of us give in to dealing with Dexter.
Both girls took another sip of Pepsi and sat both drinks down on the table. Both girls took another sip of Pepsi. “Aaah.“, Amanda said exhaling a little.
“Aaah.“, Ariana said exhaling a little. “This drink is so delicious.“, Amanda said. “And so sweet too.“, Ariana said.
“Oh, I totally agree. It must be all those grams of sugar.“, Amanda said. “Yeah, totally. I bet soda has way more sugar than candy and is a heck of a lot sweeter.“, Ariana said. “Well, if that’s the case, I guess soda should be considered a dessert from now on.“, Amanda said.
Both girls continued to play mind games with us on purpose and we still didn’t give in. Then there was more silence. Amanda and Ariana took another sip of Pepsi. Amanda let out a huge burp that came from inside her stomach. Then Ariana let out a huge burp that came out of her stomach.
“Aaaah!“, both girls said exhaling a little. “Okay, whatever mind games you two are trying to play with us is not gonna work. The dog still stays where he’s at. So, you two can quit tempting us with soda.“, Steve said. Both girls took another sip of Pepsi. Both females let out another huge burp that came out of their stomachs.
“Aaaah!“, both girls said exhaling a little. Steve sighed in defeat. “Okay, okay, I give up! You girls win! Dexter, go to your crate! Now!“, Steve said.
Dexter begged Steve not to go. “Now, I said!“, Steve said. Dexter begged some more.
“All that begging is not gonna work in a situation like this. You. Crate. Inside. Now.“, Steve said. Dexter barked and barked some more. “Don’t take that tone with me, young man!“, Steve said.
Both girls took another sip of Pepsi. “Aaaah!“, both girls said exhaling a little. “Come on, dude! You’re killing us over here! And life isn’t getting any easier for us with every sip that passes by! You! Crate! Inside! Now!“, Steve said pointing at Dexter’s crate.
Dexter looked down in disappointment and walked back over to his crate. He walked inside his crate. Steve went to the crate and locked Dexter inside.
“And you’re not coming out until we’re done making out.“, Steve said. Steve walked away from the crate. Steve sat back down on the living room couch.
“Finally, now we both get to continue tasting pop from another chick’s mouth.“, Steve said. “I knew all along you were gonna be the first one to give in sooner or later.“, Ariana said smiling. “Yeah, now can we please get back to doing what we were previously doing?“, I asked.
“Well, Steve gave in and Jamal said please. I think they deserve more of our soda.“, Amanda said smiling. “Okay, I guess it’s time we show these two what defeat tastes like.“, Ariana said smiling. Amanda and Ariana resumed kissing me and Steve. Then I and Steve drowned in sugary defeat.
Later that Saturday, it was evening. Dexter was still locked inside his crate after Steve forgot to let him out. Kevin Sr. walked into the living room.
“Hey, buddy. Who locked you inside? Huh? Don’t worry, buddy. I’ll let you out.“, Kevin Sr. said. Kevin Sr. went to the crate. Kevin Sr. unlocked and opened the crate.
Dexter got out and put both of his front paws on Kevin Sr. while standing on his back paws and wagging his tail. Dexter got back on all four paws smiling and still wagging his tail. Kevin Sr. sat down on the living room couch.
“Come on, little fella. Have a seat.“, Kevin Sr. said as he patted the couch. Dexter hopped onto the couch and sat next to Kevin Sr. “Well, in about five months from now, we’re going to add another human to this family. I’m so excited and can’t wait. I just want you to know that when this baby is born, you treat him or her with respect. And just know that since this will be a newborn baby, you might wanna go easy on the licking. We both don’t want the baby crying the first second he or she comes home from the hospital. Also, you are to love this new human being who is gonna experience life for the very first time. Because love makes the world go ’round. In reality, gravity makes the world go around but you get my point. Now, this is gonna be the first time you live in the same household as a newborn human being. Therefore, you should be on your best behavior when the baby arrives. Now, are you gonna remember everything I just said when we all finally get to see the baby next spring?“, Kevin Sr. said.
Dexter barked and barked some more. “Yeah, you’re right. You’re a dog. I shouldn’t expect you to remember all of that in one night. Therefore, I’ll just tell you what to do and what not to do when the baby arrives. Deal?“, Kevin Sr. said. Dexter barked and barked some more.
“That’s my boy. High five.“, Kevin Sr. said holding up his hand. Dexter used his paw to touch Kevin Sr.’s hand. “Alright.“, Kevin Sr. said.
“Now, the wife is gonna go ahead and fix dinner soon. Let’s all hope she doesn’t go through another one of her mood swings again. Man, I can’t wait until she’s her normal self again. Anyways, I’m glad we had this talk. Now, you wanna go ahead and watch some TV with your old man?“, Kevin Sr. said. Dexter barked and barked some more. “I know you usually don’t know what’s going on whenever you look at a TV screen. How about this? Just stare at the TV screen to at least keep yourself occupied. Will that work for you?“, Kevin Sr. said.
Dexter barked and barked some more. “Great. Let’s see what they got showing on TV tonight.“, Kevin Sr. said. Kevin Sr. picked up the TV remote from the living room table.
Then Kevin Sr. used the remote to turn on the TV. Kevin Sr. flipped through a few channels. Then The Brady Bunch (TV show) appeared on the TV screen as the TV show’s theme song started playing.
“Man, this show takes me way back. You weren’t even born yet when this show came out and all of my boys also weren’t born yet. Looks like you and I are taking a trip back to my childhood.“, Kevin Sr. said. Kevin Sr. put the remote down. Kevin Sr. started watching The Brady Bunch with Dexter. Then as Dexter continued staring at the TV screen, imaginary music of The Brady Bunch’s closing theme song played.
***DEXTER’S POINT OF VIEW***