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Off My Land

It was Wednesday, February 2, 2022, and it was within the overnight hours. John and Donna were sleeping in their dark bedroom. Then they both went ahead and continued sleeping. And they both continued sleeping some more. Then John woke up. John sat upon the bed, stood up, and exited the bedroom. He entered the bathroom to go ahead and use it. And while in the bathroom, he was using it.

Later, he went ahead and flushed the toilet, washed his hands, and opened the bathroom door. He turned off the bathroom light and was about to go back into the bedroom. Then he stopped after he heard some talking going on from Ashley’s bedroom.

John went ahead and heard two voices, which were Ashley’s voice and Eric’s voice. He continued hearing them talking. And he continued hearing them talking some more as well. John walked closer and closer to Ashley’s bedroom. John stood in front of Ashley’s bedroom door. And John kept listening and still heard them chatting. The talking continued. And it continued some more. Then the talking stopped. And after that, John heard nothing but silence. It was at that moment that John walked into Ashley’s bedroom without her permission. John turned on the bedroom light. And the couple quickly stopped kissing on the bed and saw John.

“What on Earth is going on in here?” John asked them.

“Oh, uh, good morning.”, Eric spoke.

“Don’t good morning me! Why are you in our house in the wee hours?!”

“Um. Because she was choking on something. And she called me to come over here and give her CPR. We weren’t kissing at all if that’s what you were originally thinking. Then I ended up saving her life in the end, so you’re welcome.”

“Eric, what in the world makes you think I’m gonna believe that lie for even a millisecond?”

Donna walked into Ashley’s bedroom. “Eric?! What in the world are you doing in here?!” Donna asked him.

“Ugh! Okay, fine, you caught us! He wasn’t giving me CPR! He snuck into my bedroom so we could make out!”

“Oh, is that so?” John asked Ashley.

“Yes, sir. That is so.”, Eric informed. “So, is it cool with you both if we keep making out?”

“What do you think?” John asked him.

“I think you wanna say yes?” Eric spoke.

John told him, “I don’t mean to sound like a game show host over here, but wrong. I want you out of my house. Right now.” Then Eric went ahead and quickly exited the house through Ashley’s bedroom window. “Ash, please tell your boyfriend not to sneak into this house anymore.”

“But it’s my room!”

“But it’s still breaking and entering.” “How long has this been going on?” Donna spoke.

“Answer the question or you’re grounded.”, John added.

“Since last September. At least.”

John told her, “Well, don’t forget to tell your boyfriend not to sneak into this house anymore.” “Are we clear?”

Then Ashley just went ahead and sighed. “Yes, Dad, we’re crystal clear.”

“Good.”, John replied. Then John went ahead and exited the bedroom. And after that, Donna left the bedroom as well.


It was Thursday, February 3, 2022, and it was within the overnight hours. Ashley and Eric were sitting on Ashley’s bed and kissing inside Ashley’s bedroom, which was filled with green lighting. As a result, everything in the room looked green.

“You think we’re gonna get caught by your parents a second time?” Eric asked her.

“Not if we’re more careful from now on.”

“I like how you think.”, he spoke with a smile. Then Ashley and Eric went ahead and continued kissing. “Where should I hide in case they come back?”

“You can hide under my bed.”, she spoke with a smile.

“I just amore how your brain works.”, he spoke with a smile. Ashley and Eric kept kissing. And the couple continued kissing some more. “Parents can be so annoying sometimes.”

“I totally agree.” Ashley and Eric went ahead and continued kissing. And the couple continued kissing some more.

Then John began knocking on Ashley’s door. “Ash, can I come in there for just a quick second?!”

Eric went ahead and quickly hid under Ashley’s bed. “Uh, yeah! Come on in!”

John went ahead and opened the bedroom door before walking inside and turning on the light. “Just wanted to do a quick bedroom check to see if there are any unwanted teenage boys in here.”

“Well, what are you waiting for?” “Go right ahead. You won’t find any unwanted teenage boys in here.”

“Oh, and just so you know, I’m gonna be doing this every late-night from now on.”


Then John went ahead and began checking Ashley’s bedroom. He opened the closet door and started looking inside the closet. John found no one inside the closet and closed the closet door. John stood and looked around the bedroom. Then John looked out of all the bedroom windows to find any unwanted humans nearby. And John saw no unwanted humans. Then Eric went ahead and sneezed.

“What was that?!”

“What was what?”

“That noise! It sounded like someone sneezed!”

“Oh, that?” “Yeah, that was me. I must be coming down with a cold or something. It is flu season.”

“Okay, well, that didn’t sound like you. I’ve heard you sneeze before. And that sneeze did not sound like it came from you.”

“That must mean I have the flu. I guess I’m gonna have to not go to school today.” John went ahead and looked under Ashley’s bed and saw Eric. Eric quickly got up and exited Ashley’s bedroom through the bedroom window. “Oh, hey, how did he get in here?”

John yelled, “You’re grounded for 24 hours! And that’s final! I already told you once not to have him sneaking into this house overnight!”

“Fine, then I guess I’m grounded!” she yelled.

“I’m glad you got the message!” he exclaimed angrily before turning off the bedroom light and exiting the bedroom. John closed the bedroom door and Ashley was sitting on her bed in her dark bedroom.


It was Friday, February 4, 2022, and it was within the overnight hours. Ashley and Eric were kissing while lying on Ashley’s bed inside Ashley’s bedroom, which was filled with blue lighting. As a result, everything in the bedroom appeared to be blue.

“So, are your 24 hours of being grounded expired?” Eric asked her.

“Yeah, I think so.” Then Eric and Ashley continued kissing on the bed. “Hey, I have a great idea for how you won’t be able to get caught anymore.”

“Oh, yeah? How?”

“Let’s start making out inside the attic.”

“I had no idea your place has an attic. Come on, let’s hurry before your old man comes back.” Ashley and Eric quickly got off Ashley’s bed. Then the romantic couple went ahead and walked over to the bedroom door. Then the pair exited the bedroom. The two walked over to the attic. And the two successfully snuck into the attic. “What’s gonna happen if your Dad does another one of his bedroom checks and doesn’t see you in there?”

“Oh, no. I totally forgot about that part. Oh well, maybe he’ll forget to check or think I snuck out of the house.”

“Which means we have this whole attic to ourselves.”

“Yep, we sure do. Now, let’s hide in that closet over there and continue where we left off.”

Then Eric and Ashley went ahead and snuck into the attic closet and began making out again. Meanwhile, John was watching TV in the dark living room. He continued watching TV. And he continued watching TV some more.

Then John went ahead and began yawning. Then he was finished yawning before talking to himself. “Well, time for me to check Ashley’s room again and go to bed.” John picked up the TV remote and turned off the TV. Then he got up and began walking to Ashley’s room. Then Eric fell through the ceiling of the living room from the attic closet.

Max went ahead and started barking aggressively from his cage that was sitting inside the living room. And the dog continued barking aggressively. John heard the noise and quickly turned on the living room light.

Eric got up and spoke. “Oh, hey Mr. Cooper.” “How have things been lately?” John didn’t say a word and had a very angry look on his face. “And based on the look on your face, I’m guessing that you want me out of here.”

John shook his head to say yes.

Ashley ran into the living room and spoke. “Eric, are you alright?!”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Donna came into the living room and spoke. “What in the world is going on in here?! What in the world?!”

Amore and Rebecca came into the living room. “What on Earth is going on in here?” Amore asked them.

“Yeah, we both heard a noise and that woke us up.”, Rebecca added.

Lisa came into the living room while holding her teddy bear. And her jaws dropped after she saw what she just saw. Then Max continued barking aggressively.

“I’m gonna start running now.”, Eric spoke before running to Ashley’s bedroom and leaving through her window again.

“Look at this mess!” John yelled angrily. “The living room ceiling is damaged!” “Do you have any idea how much money it’ll cost to get this mess cleaned up?!”

“Hey, you don’t have to yell!” Ashley yelled.

John yelled, “You can’t tell me what to do, young lady! This is the third time I caught him wrongfully entering this house! And now you’ve woken up everyone else in here while we’re all trying to sleep! Max included!”

Ashley yelled, “And do you really think I care at all about everyone’s else’s sleep schedules?!” “Because I don’t! You can shout and scream at me as much as you want to! He’s still going to be sneaking into my room late at night whether you like it or not!”

“No, he’s not! From now on, that boy is not welcome onto my land anymore! And that includes all 24 hours of the day!”

“Fine, I don’t care!”

“Yeah, I know it’s fine! Now, you march your but back up to that room of yours and rest up for school like you should’ve been doing earlier! Now!”

Ashley angrily walked back to her bedroom to get some rest before school. And Max resumed barking aggressively from the cage that he was locked in.

“I’m so sorry you had to be woken up like that, Max.”, John apologized.

“Okay, now that that’s finally over, can we all go back to bed?” Rebecca asked her parents.

“Of course, sweetheart. I’m so sorry you all had to miss out on sleep just because of two rotten adolescents.”, John spoke.

“Well, thank God no one got hurt.”, Donna commented.

“I’m still so angry. At both of them.”, John replied. “You know how many pizzas Amore is gonna have to sell to pay for this damage?”

“My guess is a lot.”, Donna guessed. “Come on, honey. Let’s go back to bed so you can be well-rested for work in the morning.”

Then John went ahead and turned off the living room light and he started leaving the living room with his wife. Then the living room was left in darkness.


It was Saturday, February 5, 2022, and it was in the evening. Ashley and Eric were sitting on the living room couch while watching TV at Ashley’s home. John came home from another typical day of work through the front door. Then John saw Ashley sitting on the living room couch with her boyfriend while they were both watching TV together. John went ahead and took off his winter gear and hung it up in the front closet. John walked closer to the romantic teenage couple and asked a question.

“Ash, where’s your mother?”

“I don’t know. Probably somewhere else doing her own thing.”

Then the teenage couple continued watching TV in the living room. “Ash, why is he in my house again?”

“Oh, him?” “Yeah, because he felt like it. That’s why.” “Why do you ask?”

“I ask because he’s on my land. Again. I told you before that he’s not welcome on my land.” “Now, could you please ask him to leave?”

Ashley looked at Eric. “Could you please leave?”

“Okay.” Eric got up from the living room couch and walked past the angry Dad to the front door. Then he exited through the front door. And John left the living room.

About a half-hour later, the doorbell went ahead and rang. Donna went to the front door while Ashley was watching TV in the living room. Donna opened the front door.

“Good evening, ma’am. Here’s your pizza.”, the Domino’s delivery guy spoke.

“Thanks. You have a wonderful rest of your evening.”, Donna replied.

The pizza delivery guy started walking away before Donna saw Eric as he was standing on the road. Donna set the pop and pizza down on the living room table. Then John came into the living room.

“Houston, we have a problem.”, Donna told John.

“Did we get the wrong pizza toppings?”

Donna shook her head no.

“Did we get the wrong-sized pizza?”

Donna shook her head no.

“Ah, now I think I’ve finally solved the puzzle. We got the wrong soda.”

Donna shook her head no.

“Well, what’s the problem?”

“Look outside.”

John went ahead and looked outside through the open front door and saw Eric as he kept standing on the road. John walked over to the front door and kept staring at Eric.

“What’s he doing now?” Donna asked John.

“Now, he’s walking back onto my land again.”

Eric walked up to John and spoke. “Hey, Mr. Cooper.”

“You’ve got two minutes to get off my land.”

Ashley stood up and spoke. “But I want him to come in!”

“No!” John exclaimed.

“Why not?! It’s cold outside! You’re just gonna have him freeze to death out there?!”

John yelled angrily. “Well, he deserves to freeze if he’s not smart enough to stay warm inside his own home! I already told you multiple times to get him off my land!”

“Well, guess what?! Me and Eric don’t care at all about your stupid land! Not even a little bit!”

“I’m warning you right now, young lady! Get him off my land!”

“Dad, you have to respect the fact that he’s my boyfriend!”

“I do respect that, but he has to leave!”

“Jerk!” Ashley insulted.

“I’m gonna call nine one one to have him removed if you don’t have him off my land in 30 seconds!”

“No!” Ashley yelled.

John turned around and went to the front door. “Get away from here! Right now!” he shouted angrily.

“You’re funny, dude.”, Eric spoke. Then Eric went ahead and walked away. John saw Eric walking away from the house. Then John closed and locked the front door of the house.

“You’re nothing but a jerk!”

“Hey! You better watch who you’re talking to!”

“Oh, so I guess I’m supposed to watch a jerk! Is that it?!” Ashley angrily stormed over to the front closet.

“What do you think you’re doing?!”

“If Eric isn’t allowed on this so-called ‘land’ of yours, then I’m leaving and going to Eric’s place!” Ashley spoke hand signaling quotation marks and putting on her winter gear.

“No, you’re not! You’re staying right here in this house, and you’re gonna go to your room! And I’m not asking!”

“I don’t care that you’re not asking!” Ashley put on her winter gear, opened the front door, and left the house after angrily slamming the door shut. Then John, feeling hurt, went ahead and left the living room. And after John left the living room, Donna left the living room as well.


Shortly after the verbal altercation that took place between John and Ashley, Donna saw John sitting on the bed in their bedroom. Donna went ahead and walked over to the bed and sat down next to John. “Are you okay?” Donna asked him.

“No, not really. I just feel so hurt and sad right now about everything that just happened. I also have a feeling I’m the one to blame for making her wanna leave. And now, she’s gotten so mad that she decided to stay under someone else’s roof instead of being with her own family who loves and cares for her so much. I don’t want her mad and hating me for the rest of her life.”

“Well, I think you did the right thing by banning that kid from this house. If he really wanted to come and see Ashley, he should’ve just used the front door instead of a bedroom window.”

“Well, what do you suggest we do now?”

“Maybe Eric’s parents will eventually find her.”

“Or we can call the cops.”

“Before we call the cops, let’s just wait and see if his parents find her or if she decides to come back home.”

“Okay, fine, we’ll try it your way. But if she isn’t back here before sunrise tomorrow, then the police will be called.”

“Deal. Now, let’s go ahead and give what’s left of our girls their dinner.”

Donna and John got up and exited their bedroom. After Donna and John left the bedroom, they walked into the living room and saw Amore, Rebecca, and Lisa sitting on the living room couch while watching TV together, eating some pizza, and drinking some soda.

“Well, it looks like they beat us to it.”, John reported.

“Did you all wash your hands first?” Donna asked the girls.

“We sure did.”, Rebecca spoke with pizza in her mouth.

“Okay, then. Carry on.”, John allowed.

“Enjoy your dinner, everyone.”, Donna added. Then they all went ahead and kept eating. “Well, it looks like someone is gonna be missing out on some good food tonight.” Then John and Donna exited the living room.


It was Sunday, February 6, 2022, and it was within the overnight hours. John and Donna were sleeping inside their dark bedroom. Then the doorbell went ahead and rang as both parents were still lying down in bed. John and Donna didn’t wake up. Then the doorbell went ahead and rang a second time as both parents were still lying down in bed. John and Donna still didn’t wake up. Then Max went ahead and began barking aggressively as the doorbell continued ringing. Then John and Donna woke up. John got up from the bed to see who it was. John went ahead and entered the living room, turned on the living room light, and walked over to the front door as the doorbell continued ringing (with the dog still barking). John looked outside and saw the cops outside his house. Then after that, John unlocked and opened the front door. John saw Ashley standing with two male police officers on the front porch.

“Is this your daughter, sir?” one of the cops asked.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“We got a call from the parents of the girl’s boyfriend saying that they caught her hiding inside their basement.”

“Well, you see, it’s a pretty long story.”

“No need to explain, sir. Your daughter explained everything to us back at the other house after she got caught.”

“Oh, well, that’s great to hear.” “Now, you, in your room. Now.” John was pointing at the stairs. Ashley went ahead and stepped inside the house. “I’m really sorry for my teenage daughter’s inappropriate behavior. I’m pretty sure you folks have way more important stuff to take care of.”

“Well, since everything is back to normal around here, it looks like our work here is done.”

“Okay, and thanks for bringing her back home where she belongs. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome. You folks have a nice rest of your Sunday morning.”

“Okay, and same to you as well.”

Both cops went ahead and began leaving the house. Then John closed and locked the front door. John saw no one in the living room before turning off the living room light and exiting the living room. John walked over to Ashley’s door and opened it before walking inside her lit bedroom and closing the bedroom door. Then John sat down next to Ashley (sitting down) on her bed.

“So, I guess the plan to hide you from Eric’s parents wasn’t very successful in the end.” “So, is there anything that you wanna talk to me about?”

“No, not really.”, Ashley spoke while looking down.

“Are you sure?” “You can always talk to me, Ash.”

“Talk about what?! Talk about how you banned my boyfriend from my own home?!” she exclaimed before getting up.

John got up. “First of all, it’s our home that we all share as a family. Second, I banned him for a legitimate reason, Ash. You can’t just have people sneaking in through your bedroom window late at night.”

“Why not?!”

“Because it’s wrong. When Eric wanted to see you so badly, he should’ve gone ahead and used the front door like a legitimate adult. Not a window.” “What if a cop car drove by and saw him climbing up to your window and going inside?” “They would probably think he’s breaking into someone else’s home and they won’t know the reason until he’s locked up inside a jail cell. Now, you don’t want Eric to get in some serious trouble.” “Do you?”

Then Ashley went ahead and sighed heavily. “No, I don’t.”

“Then I don’t see why you’re not thanking me for banning him. By doing that, I actually did some good for that boy by saving him from being in even more trouble.”

“Well, now that I think about it, I guess you’re right. Maybe we did take things a bit too far.”

“Okay, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll unban Eric from this land of ours if you can promise me that he won’t be sneaking into your bedroom window anymore. Or else, I’m gonna have all your windows nailed shut. And check it regularly for any tampering.” “So, do we have a deal?”

“Okay, I promise it won’t happen again.”

“That’s my girl!” “And to be honest, I was very hurt when you left to go to Eric’s house last night.”

“I’m so sorry. I was just so upset that you had him banned.”

“Apology accepted. Now, you go ahead and get some rest. Good night, Ash.” John went ahead and began leaving the bedroom. Then John completely exited the bedroom and closed the bedroom door.

“Well, I better lock my windows to make sure he doesn’t get into even more trouble.” Ashley walked over to all her windows to lock them. And they were all locked. And after all that, it turned out to be a happy and positive ending for everyone involved.

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