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The Pizza Podcast

It was Tuesday, March 1, 2022, and it was in the afternoon. After school, Amore and Sam were doing their school homework inside Amore’s bedroom while the bedroom door was closed to keep the dog from coming inside and starting trouble. Then Amore went ahead and spoke to Sam.

“Hey, you know what we should do?” “We should start our own podcast. Just the two of us.”

“They let kids host podcasts?”

“I don’t know. Probably.”

“Is it expensive?”

“Probably not.” “So, are you in or are you out?”

“I’m in.” “But how do we get started?”

“I’ll be the host of the podcast series. And you’ll be the co-host, but I’m not one hundred percent sure about how we get started yet.”

“Well, I’m sure we’ll think of something.” “Have you thought of a title for it yet?”

“I have. It’ll be called The Pizza Podcast.”

“Cool!”

“Hey, maybe the internet can tell us how we can get started.” Amore went ahead and stopped doing her homework, got up, sat down in front of the computer, and began browsing the world wide web for information.

“But shouldn’t you finish your homework first before you do something like that?”

“I’m pretty sure my school homework can wait. We’ve never been on a podcast or hosted a podcast in our entire short lives. I know we’re still in elementary school, but it’s never too early or late to start.”

“What if you’re a baby?”

“I meant figuratively. Not literally.” Amore kept browsing the world wide web.

***

It was Wednesday, March 2, 2022, and it was in the afternoon. After school, Amore and Sam were in Amore’s bedroom while they were getting ready to record a brief trailer. Then Amore asked Sam a question.

“Okay, you ready for us to start filming the trailer for our upcoming podcast series?”

Sam got off her smartphone and spoke. “I was born ready.”

Amore went ahead and walked up to her smartphone and pressed the record button. Amore walked closer to Sam as the smartphone was about to begin recording the trailer very shortly. Then it started recording. “Hi, everyone. My name is Amore.”

“And I’m Sam.”

“And this is the trailer for our future podcast series titled The Pizza Podcast.”

“A series where two elementary school girls, that’s us, will talk about many interesting topics every single episode. And, we may even have some guests appear on our show as well.”

“Our podcast is called The Pizza Podcast because my dad is a very successful businessman who owns a pizza restaurant called Amore, which was named after me.”

“So, if you’re ever visiting Grosse Pointe Park, Michigan, please consider visiting Amore and trying the best pizza in the entire galaxy.”

“Also, some of the topics we’ll cover are school life, homework, pet ownership, annoying sisters, romance, pizza, TV, movies, music, and just childhood in general.”

“This podcast series is probably gonna be the best podcast series you’ve heard in your entire life.”

“And don’t forget to hit that subscribe button, so you can know when new episodes arrive on wherever you listen to podcasts.” Amore went ahead and walked up to her phone and stopped recording the trailer. “Well, now that we got that out of the way, I think it’s time we start creating the pilot episode of our podcast.”

“What’s a pilot episode?”

“A pilot episode means the first-ever episode.”

“But before we do that, let’s watch some TV first.”

“Okay.”

Then both girls went ahead and left the room to watch television.

***

Later, it was Wednesday evening. In Ashley’s lit bedroom, Ashley was lying on her bed while listening to some punk rock music from her smartphone. Then Ashley’s bedroom door got opened and Lisa snuck inside. Lisa went ahead and closed the bedroom door while inside. Lisa saw Ashley listening to the music that was coming from her phone. Then Lisa got closer and closer to Ashley as she was still listening to her music. And after that, Lisa spoke.

“Hi.”

Ashley took off her headphones and saw Lisa. “Why are you in my bedroom?”

“Because.” Then Ashley just went ahead and kept waiting for a complete sentence from Lisa. “Because I wanted to say hi.”

“Hi.” “Now, get out!”

“No.”, she spoke with a smile.

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

Then Ashley just went ahead and stopped talking before pretending to be an alien. “Well, to be completely honest, I’m not your real sister.”

“What on Earth are you talking about?”

“I’m actually an alien in disguise. My people have kidnapped your real Earthling sister and invaded your home planet. And soon, we’ll take over the world and make every human on this planet our slaves. Children included. So, what I suggest you do is get out of here right now. Before I kill you and turn you into alien food. You’ve been warned.”

“Oh, please! Do you think I was born yesterday?!”

“No, but you’re not far from it.”

“I know it’s you pretending to be an alien just to scare me away.”

Then Ashley just sighed. “Okay, fine, you caught me. Now, get out.”

“But what if I don’t wanna get out.”

“This is your last warning before I tell Mom and Dad. Out. Now.”

Then Lisa just sighed. “Alright, fine. I’m going.” Lisa exited the bedroom and closed the bedroom door.

Then Ashley just shook her head and spoke. “Why do siblings even exist in the first place?” Ashley resumed her music.

***

It was Saturday, March 5, 2022, and it was in the afternoon. In Amore’s bedroom, Amore and Sam just finished wrapping up their last segment while recording their first-ever podcast episode. Then Amore spoke to the audience.

“Okay, everyone. It’s now time for us to welcome in our first-ever guest of The Pizza Podcast series. As of right now, she currently attends elementary school in the second grade, loves music, and is my younger sister. Give it up for Rebecca Cooper.” Then some applause sound effects were activated. After that, Rebecca went ahead and entered the podcast episode.

“Hey, everyone. And thanks for having me on your show.”

“You’re so welcome.” “So, how has life in the second grade been treating you so far?”

“It’s been treating me okay. And I’m getting good grades, which is a plus.”

“An okay second-grade life and good grades. Ladies and gentlemen, this girl is on a roll.”, Amore spoke.

“So, how does it feel to be a guest on a podcast for the first time?” Sam asked her.

“It feels perfectly fine. I never knew I would be a guest on a podcast this early in life.”

“Well, I guess that makes you a very lucky lady.”, Sam told her.

“And have you been making any new songs lately?” “I and my BFF over here know very well that you love music. A lot.”, Amore asked her.

“Well, I have been writing some song lyrics lately for some songs that I created in my head. But I still don’t have any of the musical instruments to play them on yet.”

“Well, what musical instruments do you have right now?” Sam spoke.

“So far, none. Plus, I’ve asked my parents about a hundred and ten million times in the past for a piano and have been denied a piano every single time.”

“Wow.” “And why is that?” Sam questioned.

“They said that a piano costs a lot of cheddar and that I’ll have to just be patient until they can afford one. Even while dad is a successful owner of a pizza restaurant.”

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, that’s our parents for ya.”

“Do you ever think your parents will eventually afford it someday?”

“Well, someday does seem pretty much like forever. Also, I wanna be a famous musician when I grow up. I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be a famous singer and songwriter.”

“And what about being in a band? Would you rather be in a band or go solo?” Amore questioned.

“I’m not sure about that one. I’ve thought about being in a band. I’ve also thought about being in an all-girl band and being the female lead member of band almost filled with boys. I guess there are many possibilities out there when it comes to music.”

Amore told her, “Well, that sure is great to hear. And I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for today. So, from all of us here in the beautiful state of Michigan, we wish everyone a wonderful rest of their day. Or night. Or whenever you’re awake. Good day or night.”

Then the podcast series signed off for the first time.

“Well, I think our first-ever podcast episode went pretty smoothly.”, Sam complimented.

“Yeah, same here.”, Amore added.

“Well, I guess that means I’m outta here. And I wish you two nothing but good luck and success in the future.” Rebecca went ahead and exited Amore’s bedroom and closed the bedroom door.

“I wonder what content we should come up with for our next episode.”, Amore wondered.

“I’m not sure. But it is the weekend. I think we both have plenty of time to come up with some fun ideas. Let’s just take some time and think about what to include in our second episode.”

“Agreed.”

Then both girls stopped talking and started thinking.

***

Later, it was still Saturday afternoon. In the living room, Lisa was watching TV. Then Lisa started laughing at what she was looking at on the TV screen. She continued laughing at what she was looking at on the TV screen. And Lisa just kept laughing.

Ashley went ahead and came into the living room while dressed as an alien. And she hid her face inside the alien costume. Then Ashley walked closer to Lisa and began speaking and sounding like an alien. “Greetings, Earth child. I am an alien and my people come in peace.” “Or do they?”

“Quit the act, Ash, I know it’s you.”

“Ash? Who in the world is this Ash character you talk about young Earthling?”

“You! That’s who!”

“Wrong, young Earthling. I am not Ash. I am an alien who came along with some of my other kind from a different planet.”

“Great!” “Now, shut up. I’m watching TV.”

“Hey, that’s no way to talk to someone who isn’t your kind. Take it back, right now, or else I and my people will have to kill every single living being on this rock. You included.”

“I’m not taking it back.”

“I mean it, little Earthling. Take it back. Or else.”

“No.”

Ashley heard knocking at the front door. Ashley stopped hiding her face, stopped sounding like an alien, and went to the front door. Ashley opened the front door and spoke. “Hey, Eric.”

Eric entered the house and Ashley closed the front door. Eric looked at Ashley and spoke. “Why are you dressed as an alien?”

“I’ll explain later.”

“Well, based on what I’m seeing right now, that alien costume looks really hot on you.”

“It does?” She smiled.

“Of course, it does. Words can’t even describe how good you look right now.”

“Thanks.” “So, have you ever kissed an alien before?”

“No, I haven’t.” “I wonder what that would feel like?”

“Well, why don’t you find out right now?”

“Okay.”

Then Eric and Ashley sat down on the living room couch and began kissing. Lisa saw the teenage couple kissing and spoke. “Ew! Gross!” Lisa got up from the living room couch and left the living room.

***

It was Sunday, March 6, 2022, and it was in the afternoon. In Amore’s bedroom, Amore, Sam, and John were all present as a segment of The Pizza Podcast was wrapping up. Then Amore spoke.

“Okay, everyone. Today’s guest is a very special person in my life. He is the owner of a successful pizza restaurant named Amore. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, cats, and dogs, please put your hands together for my dad. Mr. John Cooper.” Then some applause sound effects were activated. “Welcome to The Pizza Podcast.” “So, how does it feel to be on a podcast for the first time?”

“It feels like I’m on the radio for the first time. I’m just glad to be here.”

Sam replied, “And we’re glad to have you here.” “So, how has business been at the restaurant as of today?”

“It’s been going great as always. And business has been so much better ever since Amore convinced me to sell other food items besides pizza last fall.”

“I’m glad to be of assistance.” “Now, would you say your pizza is better than Little Caesars pizza, not as good as Little Caesars pizza, or just about the same?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say our pizza and the pizza from Little Caesars are equally as good. Or close to equally as good. Amore pizza is clearly better than Little Caesars pizza in every category. Now, I know very well that both companies are headquartered in Michigan. But I still think we have the better pizza.”

“And do you think that your pizza is better than every other pizza chain in the state of Michigan?” Sam questioned.

“Yes, I do think that. I believe we should be number one when it comes to Michigan-based pizza.”

“And what about the entire nation or the entire globe?” Sam questioned again.

“We also have the best pizza in the United States. And on the planet.”

Amore told the audience, “Well, you heard it here first. Suburban Detroit has the best pizza in the state, country, and on Earth. And that’s all the time we have for this episode. And don’t forget to hit that subscribe button for more upcoming episodes like the one you just listened to. Stay safe, stay in school, and we’ll see you next time.” Then The Pizza Podcast signed off.

“And we’re off the air.”, Sam reported.

“I just wanted to say that I’m so proud of you for setting all of this up with your best friend without the help of a grown-up.”

“And we also have the potential to make money from our podcast series.”, Sam spoke.

“Oh, so I guess that means I don’t have to pay your allowance anymore.”

“Actually, we don’t have any sponsors yet. And I don’t think people would go for donating to a podcast just to satisfy a ten-year-old’s allowance.”

“Okay, well, I’m gonna go now. Good luck with your podcast series.”

“Thanks, Mr. Cooper. And good luck with your restaurant.”

Then John went ahead and left Amore’s bedroom before Amore spoke.

“Now, let’s go ahead and think of some new stuff to include in our next episode.”

“Good idea.”

Then Amore and Sam stopped talking and started thinking again.

***

Later, it was Sunday evening. In Lisa’s lit bedroom, Lisa was in her pajamas while getting ready for bed. Lisa got on her knees near her bed, closed her eyes, and said a short and silent prayer before going to sleep. And after she prayed, she opened her eyes, got up, and walked over to the bedroom light switch to turn off the light. Then she turned off the light, walked back over to her bed in the dark bedroom, and got into bed. Then Lisa went ahead and started falling asleep in her bed.

“Wake up.”, Ashley spoke in her alien voice. Lisa heard Ashley’s last sentence in her alien voice, got out of bed, walked over to her bedroom light switch, and turned on her bedroom light. “Lisa, I am an alien sent from another galaxy to warn you about a global attack that my people currently have planned on planet Earth. I must inform you on how to stop the global attack from happening. The entire human race depends on it. Now, the first thing you need to do to save yourself and your kind is to make your oldest sister a PB&J sandwich.”

“Do you seriously think I’m stupid or something?” “I know it’s you.”

“I have no idea who you are talking about.”

“Then how do you know my name?”

“Lucky guess. Now, just trust me on this one, the first important step to saving the entire human population is making a sandwich for your oldest sibling.”

“How would making my sister a sandwich help save the world?”

“There’s a reason for everything, my dear Lisa.”

“Don’t you have school in the morning?”

Ashley stopped sounding like an alien and opened the closet door from the inside. “Well, well, well. Look what we have here. I guess the tables have turned between us.” “Have they not?” “You invaded my room without permission. And now I’m invading your room without permission. And I’m not leaving no matter what you say or do.” “So, how does it finally feel to have your privacy and space disrespected?”

“I’m telling!”

Then Ashley just went ahead and sighed. “Okay, fine, I’m leaving!” “You may have won the battle this time, but you’re gonna lose the war little girl.” Ashley went ahead and left Lisa’s bedroom and closed Lisa’s bedroom door.

Then Lisa just shook her little head. “Why do siblings even exist?” Then Lisa just went back to bed.

***

It was Monday, March 7, 2022, and it was in the afternoon. After school, a segment of The Pizza Podcast was wrapping up as Amore, Sam, and Lisa were all inside Amore’s bedroom. Then Amore spoke.

“Okay, people, it’s time to welcome in our next guest on The Pizza Podcast. She’s another family member of mine, she has blonde hair, she’s my youngest sister, and she’s not even in kindergarten yet. Please give a big round of applause for Lisa Cooper.” Then some applause sound effects were activated. “So, Lisa, how are you today?”

“Happy.”

“That’s so great to hear, Lisa. Now tell us, why are you happy today?” Sam asked Lisa.

“I’m happy because I just found out that I’m smarter than my biggest sister.”

“And why is that?” Amore interviewed.

“Because she’s an idiot.”

“Well, I already knew that.” “But why is she an idiot?” Sam interviewed.

“Because she’s been dressing up as an alien. And she has been pretending to be an alien.”

“And why has she been pretending to be someone from another solar system?” Sam asked her.

“Because she’s dumb.”

“And why is she dumb?” Amore spoke.

“I don’t know.” “Do you two think she’s dumb?”

“Well, I pretty much think she’s the definition of dumb.” “What about you, Amore?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say she’s dumb. I mean, there are many ways and levels of dumbness. Now, as far as my big sister goes, I’d say she’s more of a troublemaking, mischievous, bad girl more than a dummy. But all of that does pretty much fall under the category of total dumbness. “So, yeah, I’d say she’s a hundred and ten percent dumb in the head.”

“Then I guess that means we all agree that she’s dumb.”, Sam guessed.

“Beyond dumb.”, Lisa replied.

“In fact, she’s so dumb, she has got to be the dumbest teenager on the entire planet.”, Amore insulted.

Sam added, “She’s also the dumbest creature from whatever planet she came from.”

“I think that’s probably because her species of alien are way dumber than us humans.”, Amore insulted again.

“Tell me about it. And she constantly hangs out with her boyfriend. I have absolutely no idea what that guy sees in such an ugly-looking animal.”, Sam insulted.

Amore asked them, “Well, is there anything else anyone would like to add before we sign off and call it an episode?”

Sam told the audience, “I do. The person we’re all talking about is named Ashley Cooper and she’s currently a fifteen-year-old high school freshman who attends Grosse Pointe South High School. So, if anyone that attends that school sees her, please feel free to make fun of her until graduation.”

“And that’s all the time we have for today. And don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for push notifications of upcoming episodes. This is Amore Cooper signing off from The Pizza Podcast. Have a great day or night, everyone.” Then the podcast went off the air.

“Well, we all sure did do a great job with that last episode near the end. And I’m talking, of course, about the non-Christmas version of The Grinch. Now, all that’s left to do now is upload it.”, Sam verbally insulted.

“And I’ll be the one to upload it.” Amore went ahead and went to the computer and uploaded their latest podcast episode. “Upload complete. I wonder what’s Ashley’s reaction will be when she discovers our latest episode.”

“Well, if it’s an angry reaction, I’d love to be the one to upload it to YouTube.”, Sam spoke happily.

Then all three girls began exiting Amore’s bedroom.

***

It was Tuesday, March 8, 2022, and it was in the afternoon. After school, Amore was standing with Sam near Ashley’s door. Then Amore began knocking on that door. And nothing was heard that time. Then Amore went ahead and kept knocking on Ashley’s bedroom door. And again, nothing was heard from the bedroom. Then Amore kept knocking before speaking.

“Ash! It’s me and your number one enemy at the door! Can we ask you for a favor?!”

“No! Go away!”

Then there was nothing but silence before both girls came up with a plan.

“We’re going in?” Sam asked her.

“We’re going in.”

Sam agreed and nodded. Amore and Sam entered her bedroom and closed the bedroom door.

“Ugh! Now, I have two sisters who can’t respect my space and privacy!” she spoke as she got off her bed.

“We just wanted to know if you could be a guest on our new podcast series. It’s called.”

“Save your breath, Amore! I know what it’s called! And no!”

“Why not?”

“Because I know what you, Sam, and Lisa all said about me in your last episode! Therefore, my answer is no! Lisa told me everything you said about me on that stupid little show of yours!”

“Yeah, well, the truth hurts.”, Sam disrespected.

“Shut up before I hurt you!”

“Well, if we’re being totally fair here, you did kind of deserve it.”, Amore commented.

“Why on Earth would I deserve something like that?! Why would I deserve to be made fun of in front of a bunch of internet strangers?!”

Amore replied, “Because you’re a total jerk. You don’t respect Mom and Dad’s authority, you pull mean pranks, you say mean things, you’re pure evil, and you do mean things. And you treat your sisters, me included, like total garbage.”

“Only when you’re being annoying.”

Amore told her, “Well, since you don’t want to be in our next episode, we’ll both just let you get back to whatever it is that you were doing and leave you alone.”

“Freeze!” “You two aren’t going anywhere until you take that last episode down. Or else, I’m gonna make you two wish you took it down.”

“No, it stays up.”, Sam refused.

“Yeah, what she said.” “So, what are you gonna do about it?”

“Oh, I can do a lot of things about it.”

“And I can tell Mom and Dad. It’s your call.”, Amore reported.

Then Ashley just stood there while thinking about her next move was going to be after Amore Cooper’s last sentence was spoken.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Come on, Sam. Let’s get out of here.” Amore and Sam went ahead and began leaving Ashley’s bedroom through the bedroom door.

“This isn’t over!” Ashley exclaimed.

“Yes, it is.”, Sam responded. Amore and Sam left Ashley’s bedroom and closed the bedroom door.

Then Ashley responded. “Well, you know what?! Fine! I never wanted to be on your stupid podcast anyway!”

“So, you’re admitting that you’ve been defeated?” Sam asked outside the bedroom.

“No, I’m not!”

Sam began talking to Amore. “Well, I guess that’s The Pizza Podcast one and Ashley zero.”

“Agreed. Now, let’s go ahead and start coming up with some more stuff for our next episode.”

“I’m so way ahead of you.”

Then Amore and Sam walked away from Ashley’s room. And after all that, it turned out to be a happy ending for everyone involved excluding Ashley.

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