Unicorniolio, the Amazing Flying Unicorn

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Chapter 6

Unicorniolio decided Pan was trustworthy, and since it was late, he had no choice but to rest in Pan’s trunk house. He made himself comfortable in a seat by the fire. The house was warm and the fire was burning at a low glow. Pan’s home was simple and tidy. Over the fire, hanging from a hook, was an old copper pot with a lid on it. Pan pulled the pot off the hook and carried it over to Unicorniolio. The delicious scent of Pan’s supper wafted into his nose right down to his stomach, which made a loud grumbling sound. With a large wooden spoon, Pan scooped the food onto a blue and white plate and handed it to Unicorniolio. “What is it?” asked Unicorniolio. “It’s called beastaroni. Here, try some” Pan told him. Unicorniolio remembered the singing he heard:

You must try the Beastaroni

It puts the wind beneath your wings

He certainly recognized the smell. It was the same delicious smell he experienced in the forest, the smell that led him to Pan. Unicorniolio took a big bite. “It’s delicious! This is not just delicious. It’s amazing!” Pan smiled. It had been a long time since he had any visitors and was glad his new guest enjoyed his cooking. Pan dropped his spoon and bent over to pick it up. When he did a funny noise came out. Almost like someone had stepped on a duck. What was that? Unicorniolio wondered. Is this the thing called fart he’d heard about, but never actually heard with his own ears? Without knowing why, Unicorniolio knew this was a forbidden noise in the village, but he was sure of it - Pan farted! It was a quick, but loud fart. Pan didn’t say anything, he just continued about his business.

Unicorniolio smiled but did not say anything. The sound made Unicorniolio want to laugh – laugh hard - but he didn’t want to embarrass Pan. After all, Unicorniolio thought, he was Pan’s guest. Unicorniolio ate and ate the Beastaroni until he was full. Unicorniolio thanked Pan for the delicious dinner. Pan smiled and said, “You’re welcome. You probably don’t know this but Woodland Fairies are excellent bakers of enchanted treats. It just so happens I was baking before you came to my door. Perhaps you would like to try some dessert?” Unicorniolio replied, “Oh, boy, would I!” And for dessert they had Pan’s fresh baked cookies, garden fresh carrots and hot tea with honey straws and sugar cubes.

Pan sat in his rocking chair set by the fire. “It looks like this fire is dying down. I’ll fix that!” Pan reached into one of his cases and pulled out what looked like a small flute with a spoon in the middle. He placed his left hand fingers over the holes past the spoon. He then reached into the small pouch around his belt and took out what looked like dried beastaroni and placed it into the spoon on his flute. Then he placed his right hand fingers over the holes before the spoon. Pan turned around with his back to the fire. He put both hands on the pipe, closed his eyes and blew into his flute. He played a quick magical chime, shook the flute while still playing and the dried beastaroni flew up into the air. Pan caught the beastaroni in his mouth, swallowed it and ripped a booming fart into the fireplace! His gas made the flames roar and the fire once more came to life. Pan looked at Unicorniolio and winked and sat back down in his rocker. “That was awesome!” said Unicorniolio. Unicorniolio was amazed! He had never seen, heard or smelled anything like this before tonight. He still wondered to himself why this was forbidden in his village. “Ahh, that’s much better, ” said Pan with a chuckle.

Unicorniolio told Pan about his home, the Great Unicorn fields and his adventure in the forest. They told wonderful jokes, laughed, sang songs accompanied by Pan’s small violin, and danced by the fire having a merry time. Every time Pan told his jokes, he would fart when he laughed! In turn, this made Unicorniolio laugh. Pan liked his new friend Unicorniolio and Unicorniolio was so happy that he met Pan. Pan continued to dance and play music and let out all sorts of farts and toots that somehow seemed to complement the rhythm of his songs. Unicorniolio couldn’t believe what he was seeing and hearing and just laughed with delight. What a great time they had!

“Whew! That’s enough Unicorniolio, we need to rest. We have a big day tomorrow. You can stay here by the fire where it’s warm. Go ahead and get some sleep.” Pan turned down the candlelit lamps and walked around the kitchen table to climb a small rope ladder to a hammock. He took off his hat and put it over his eyes, crossed his arms over his chest and said, “Goodnight Unicorniolio.”

“Goodnight Pan,” said Unicorniolio. And then Pan let loose a low, slow fart as if to say, “sweet dreams”, and they laughed themselves to sleep!

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