The next morning Unicorniolio asked Pan, “You asked me last night if I knew a Queen. What Queen and why would she tear down your tree home?” asked Unicorniolio. “Oh my, but she is nasty! No one knows much about her. She is just known as the Evil Queen. She lives in the mountains past the Corny Poop Swamp. She keeps a fairy princess locked away in her castle,” said Pan. He was lighting a small pipe now.
“What?” said Unicorniolio? “Did you say princess?”
“That’s right. Princess Penelope.” replied Pan. “The Queen used her evil powers to place a curse on the kingdom and, to protect herself, she surrounded the castle with the Corny Poop Swamp and her army of crazy, flying naked butt monkeys. Oh, they are a terrible group. Nastiest monkeys you could ever meet. They scream and throw their poop at you!” Pan continued, “It is said that this land once was filled with magical flying unicorns. And now, you are the first one to come back to the forest in years. I would imagine the Queen would want to see you.”
Pan told Unicorniolio he would help him find the exit to the forest. They came upon a man walking down the trail. Unicorniolio looked startled but Pan didn’t seem worried or surprised at all. “Who goes there?” shouted the man. “It is I, Pan, and the unicorn, Unicorniolio.” The man walked up to Unicorniolio and just stood there in amazement, staring at him. He reached out his hand and touched Unicorniolio’s horn. The man looked at Pan and said, “He is magnificent! It’s been so long. I forgot how beautiful they are. They are magical, simply magical. “
Unicorniolio stepped back from the man and looked at Pan. “Do you know this man?” asked Unicorniolio. “His name is Prince Paul,” replied Pan, “and the Queen ousted his family years and years ago. Prince Paul’s family watched over the unicorns and protected them from the Queen. His family possessed the Gold Ring of the Unicorn. This is an ancient and magical ring that holds great powers to keep and maintain peace. Worn upon the chosen unicorn, it is supposed to give all of the other unicorns power and peace to the Kingdom.”
“What kind of power?” asked Unicorniolio.
“I don’t know,” said Pan, “something wonderful.” And Pan just looked at Unicorniolio with a sweet, lopsided smile. “The Queen wants the ring from Prince Paul in exchange for his fair maiden Princess Penelope. In the meantime, she has ruled from her castle using her crazy, flying naked butt monkeys to rule the land and enforce her laws.”
“You haven’t told him Pan? You haven’t told him of the prophecy?” said Prince Paul. Prince Paul looked angry at Pan for not telling Unicorniolio about the prophecy.
“What prophecy?” asked Unicorniolio.
“You are the chosen one. The one who is going to help me bring order back to the kingdom, and peace for everyone,” Prince Paul told him.
Unicorniolio shot a darting glance at Pan. “You knew! You knew all this time and never said anything to me!” Pan just stood there nervous, his face turning a brighter color than his orange hair. “You have nothing to say?” demanded Unicorniolio. “Anything at all?” Pan then took a step back and farted. A slippery, wet sounding fart, “Sorry? Forgive me?”
The Prince laughed, “You’ll have to forgive my friend, Pan, for he creates a mighty wind with his Beastaroni. Best dish in all the land I say. Just watch out afterwards!” After a good chuckle, Unicorniolio forgave Pan.
“The singing I heard yesterday,” said Unicorniolio, “you are the Prince I must help? There must be some mistake,” said Unicorniolio. “There’s no mistake. I need you, the Princess needs you, and this Kingdom needs you. Can we count on you for your help?” asked Prince Paul. Unicorniolio looked at the Prince, looked at Pan and felt a strange rumbling in his tummy. Perhaps it was nerves perhaps it was something else. “I’m in. Let’s do this.”
Prince Paul was so pleased. “Wonderful! We must first journey to the edge of the forest where we will come to the base of the Queen’s mountain castle. We will then cross the Corny Poop Swamp and rescue the Princess.”
“How are we supposed to cross the Corny Poop Swamp?” asked Unicorniolio. Pan looked up at the Prince and Prince Paul knowingly smiled. “Don’t worry my friend, we have a long journey. We best get started.”