Chapter Two: Kay
Fifteen years after high school, a freak plane accident claimed both of my parents. It was a rough time in my life. It is a good thing that I had Jeffrey and Josephine. I loved Josephine like an older sister, and I’m glad she stayed around to take care of me after my parents died.
It has been twenty years since high school, and the controversial trial of the century. Every now and then I miss my father’s wisdom and insight, but I desperately miss my mother. She was a true angel sent from heaven to walk among us. I wish my father had saw that.
Now I live alone in my family home. I am thirty-eight years old, and insanely single. As far as, Dude Smith goes, he’s still around. The only time I am Darren Smith is at work. Even then, if a hottie comes into my office for whatever reason, Dude makes an appearance. Every now and then, he gets a date, but I try to keep him locked up when I’m at work.
There is a woman by the name of Melissa Hamilton who Jeffrey and I met in a bar one night. She is about one of the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on. I’m a tall guy. For a woman she is tall as well. Five feet ten, mesmerizing ice blue eyes, long wavy red hair. Her bosom is at least a double D, with a small waist and a perky little ass. Fine as hell, she is. However, when I met her, I didn’t turn on the charm right away. Now I wish I had.
Jeffrey and I were in the cafeteria in our building finishing our lunch; it was time to get back to work. I however had a few things on my mind.
“Hey man, Kay called today and wants to hang out. I really don’t want to.”
“So, don’t,” Jeffrey replied putting a bit of food in his mouth.
I also put some food in my mouth. “On the other hand, she is so hot, and I really wanna fuck her.”
Jeffrey rolled his eyes. “So, hang out like she wants and fuck her later.”
I shook my head thinking about Melissa. “Nah. I have something else in mind.”
Jeffrey knew I really liked Melissa. He however knew something he was not telling me.
“Dude, if you are thinking of Melissa, give that shit up.”
“Why?” I asked. “I want her, and she obviously wants me,” I said with overwhelming confidence.
Jeffrey shook his head and put the last bite of food in his mouth. “I think you should hang out with Kay. She has a good head on her shoulders and she’s smart.”
“Melissa is smart too, but she doesn’t want commitment. I’m gonna call her.”
Jeffrey shook his head. “Whoa man. I think she has a boyfriend already.”
I gave him a curious look. “How in the hell do you know that?”
“I just do.”
I put the last bite of food from my plate in my mouth. “Screw that shit man. I’m calling Melissa. I’m going to finish the work on this account. See you later.” I got up and went back to my office, leaving Jeffrey with the bill.
I worked on said account until it was time to go home. I had Melissa on my mind the whole way home. When I hit the door, I put my briefcase down on the floor, and went straight to my phone. I called the beautiful redhead hoping to see her.
Her phone rang several times before she finally picked up. “Hey, Dude,” she said answering her phone.
“I have nothing to do tonight. I thought we could get together and do something.”
“I would love too, Dude. However, I have some work I need to finish before Monday. I’m afraid I’m in for the entire weekend.”
“Maybe another time then.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry.
I hung up the phone and was instantly angry. I’m not sure why. If Melissa didn’t want to hang out, I knew where to find a woman who did.
The following evening sitting in my entertainment room watching a random basketball game, I started to get excited. It was almost time to go out and find that luscious honey to share an explosive evening with Dude Smith.
I went to my bedroom, took a shower, and changed my clothes. This Saturday night, I was going to hang out at Voltage. A club with great drinks, loud music, and extremely hot women.
I parked my car in the lot and heard the music outside. A funky mid-tempo jam was playing, and I knew I was going to have a good time, certain to find that gorgeous one to take home with me.
I walked into the door, greeted by two of the bouncers; I smiled and made my way into the club. The music was loud and thumping in my ears. I had a good vibe about the night.
Once inside, I saw women everywhere in various states of dress. Did I want the hooch in the short skirt, midriff shirt, too much make up and messy hair? Or did the conservative beauty with the tight bun, business suit, and heels catch my fancy that night? I had no idea. One thing for sure, everyone was enjoying themselves. The dance floor was packed.
There was a gorgeous Latina standing at the edge of the dance floor watching the crowd move to the infectious beat. She was pretty hot and was just the one to get my night of flirting started. I approached. “Excuse me beautiful, would you like to dance?” I asked.
She turned to me with a huge smile on her face. “Well of course I would, handsome.”
“Wonderful. Let’s go.”
She grinned and followed me to the dance floor. I danced with her a couple of songs, but I quickly got bored. However, I wasn’t going to leave her hanging. I told her she could drink the rest of the night on me. She grinned widely at me and asked my name. I didn’t tell her my given name.
She kissed me on the cheek and told me she would see me later. But would she? I watched her walk away with a smile on my face. Yes, she was beautiful, just not exactly what I was looking for.
I walked back to the bar and ordered my favorite drink. Looking out amongst the crowd, I spotted my best friend talking to a woman who I met around two years earlier. I hadn’t seen her in a while, but we did chat on occasion. Her name was Kay. Yes, this is the one who contacted me earlier wanting to hang out. Since I never responded, I guess she made her own plans.
I was surprised to see her in the club chatting it up with my best friend. I stood back and just watched them. I did however wonder what the hell they were talking about.
I watched them chat it up for a bit, then the next thing I know he was whispering in her ear. My heart started to beat a little faster. Jeffrey backed away, and she laughed. What the hell was so funny? What the fuck was going on? Was my best friend trying to pull one of my girls? I had to find out. I immediately moved across the room.
“Hey Jeff, what are you doing here man?”
Jeffrey looked at Kay and smiled. He then turned to me, and replied, “I’m usually here on Saturday nights. Aren’t you going to speak to Kay?”
Of course, I was going to speak to her. “Hey Kay,” I said, as my heart continued to beat rapidly. She was probably the most beautiful woman I had ever met. But then again, most of them were.
“Hey, Dude. How are you?” She asked.
Jeffrey looked at me then at Kay. He saw how we were looking at each other. He smiled at me and left us alone. He was saw how Kay and I were looking at each other. “I’ll leave you two alone. I need a drink.”
Jeffrey walked away leaving me to talk to Kay alone. She was so hot that night. Maybe this was the night I was finally going to sleep with her. I looked her up and down, admiring her sexy red dress she wore. I wanted to get closer to her.
“Would you like to dance?” I asked.
She nodded. “Sure.”
I grabbed her by the hand and pulled her to the dance floor. The song that played was a mid-tempo jam, and I was happy.
Kay moved with the tempo, and occasionally she slowed down. Was she doing this to entice me? Maybe. But she didn’t have to do that. I was so attracted to her, she could have been standing there totally covered up from head to toe, and I still would have wanted to talk to her. Did I mention Kay was beautiful?
Short by my standards. She was around five-foot five with an attractive short haircut. Gorgeous doe-shaped eyes with extremely long eyelashes. A cute button nose and small full lips. Her lips were always shiny. I loved shiny lips. Made me want to kiss them. Her skin was the color of milk-chocolate, and I thought that if we were to make a baby, the child would be good-looking like its father. Oh, holy shit. Kids? I didn’t love Kay. I didn’t want to have children with her; I just wanted to sleep with her. Back down Dude.
On the dance floor I watched how she unintentionally tempted me. She moved like she was enjoying herself, but I saw something else. It made me want to kiss her.
I looked her up and down as we were dancing and said, “You really look good tonight.”
She nodded and smiled. “Thank you, so do you.”
She turned her back to me, and gently swayed her ass. Holy shit, I had to touch her. When she turned back to me, I grabbed her and kissed her on the dance floor. The kiss I gave her was pure lust. I was certain that I was going to have her that night. Kay ended up being the focus of my attention. Anything she wanted that night, I was going to give her. Her kiss lit my brain on fire, and I pulled her from the dance floor.
“Come on, let’s go get a drink,” I said to her as I held her hand tightly.
The next morning didn’t begin like I thought it would. I was hoping to be waking up next to Kay, but it didn’t happen. Instead, I woke up next to one of my friends with benefits. Her name was Celiene.
“Baby, want some breakfast?” I asked.
“No, I’m okay.”
“Thanks for coming over.”
“Well you seemed pretty upset. What happened?”
“I got into a fight with Kay.”
“Tell me what happened.”
“Thank you for driving me home, Darren.”
“Can I come in?”
“No, Darren I’m sorry. But I did have a great time.”
“So, I bought your drinks, danced with you half the night, drove you home and I don’t get to come in?”
“No, I’m sorry. I’m pretty tired.”
“Fine. You used me tonight Kay, but never again. And don’t call me Darren.”
“Used you? You think I used you?”
“Of course, you did. I should have left you at the club.”
The next thing I knew, the side of my face was stinging. I couldn’t believe it, she slapped me. In order for me not to hit her back, I screamed at the top of my lungs and then yelled, “How dare you hit me woman! Get in the house!”
“Gladly! Goodnight, Darren!” Kay yelled, going into her place and slamming the door.
“That’s when I called you,” I said finishing my story. “Now look, I appreciate you coming over last night, but since you don’t want breakfast, you have to go home.”
“Aw, can’t I stay for a while?”
“Sorry babe. I have things I need to do. Go put your clothes on and I will see you another day.”
“Alright. Bye honey.”
With Celiene gone, I could now focus on my plans. I was going to go to church, but I wasn’t going to go alone.
An hour later, I was standing on Kay’s front porch. I realize I made her angry the night before, so I had to try and fix what I broke.
I took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Thirty seconds later, the door came open. Kay stood there in her pajamas looking quite beautiful.
She crossed her arms and asked angrily, “What do you want?”
“I want you to go to church with me,” I said calmly. I half expected her to hit me again.
She shook her head. “I am not going to church with you, Darren.”
“What did I tell you about calling me that?”
“I can’t call you by your name? Do I have to be like your friends?”
“Never mind. I’m here to try and make up with you.”
She stood there still angry as hell, but she surprised me.
“Okay. I will go to church with you. But you will bring me back home afterwards.”
I smiled my charming smile. “I can’t take you to lunch after?”
“No. You might accuse me of using you.”
I felt bad for letting that come out of my mouth. Kay would never do something like that to me. She was a sweet woman.
“Kay, I’m sorry for saying that. Let me make it up to you. Please?”
She stared at me for a long time. I’m not sure what was going on in her mind, but I hoped she wasn’t going to turn me down.
“Alright. Come on in while I get dressed.”
I walked into her living room and turned on the television. I patiently waited for her to get dressed. Fifteen minutes later, when she entered her living room, I was floored.
“Wow! You look fantastic,” I said walking closer to her.
Kay smiled. “You think so?”
With that I placed my lips on hers. I expected her to reject me, but she didn’t. She kissed me back. Perhaps that was her way of forgiving me. I certainly hoped so.
I loved kissing her, so I kissed her every chance I got. She didn’t seem to mind. Maybe she liked me. Maybe today was going to be the day I was going to finally get to sleep with her.
After the fantastic kiss, we got into my car and I took her to church. After the long service, she agreed to let me take her to lunch. I took her to my favorite restaurant. My favorite food joint was reserved for close friends, clients, and special dates. Was she working her way into my heart? Nope. She was just a really sweet, beautiful, smart woman. I had not been exclusive since Lucy, and I didn’t want to start now.
While we ate, I thought more and more about my obsession with sleeping with Kay. I decided that I wasn’t going to try and pursue that dream today. We went to church and had a great lunch. I wasn’t going to ruin the great day we had. After lunch I took her home. I once again stood on her front porch. This time I was not going to ask to come in.
“Thank you for lunch, Darren,” Kay said with a flirtatious smile.
I gave her a friendly hug. “You’re welcome, Kay.”
“Would you like to come in and have some coffee?”
“No. I think I will just get going.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” I kissed her on the cheek. “See you later beautiful.”
I left her porch, got into my car, and drove home feeling rather good about today’s events. Of course, I had a huge hard on, but decided against the urge to handle it.
I thought I did good things the day before. I took her to church. I took her to lunch, and I did not try and get in her pants. I couldn’t help but think yesterday was my chance, but I let it go. However, I decided that I was going to try and move forward with Kay.
I happen to be working from home that day and around lunch time, gave her a call.
“Hello?” Her beautiful voice came over the phone.
“Oh, hello, Darren.”
She called me Darren again. This time when she did, it didn’t grate my skin like it did the other night. I’m not sure why that was, but I let it go.
“I have some free time this afternoon, and I thought we could have lunch. Are you free?”
“I’m sorry, I’m already at lunch.”
I looked at my watch. It was early. A quarter to eleven in the morning. Who eats lunch that early? But I gave it a try.
“Well maybe I can join you. Where are you?”
“I’m down at the coffee shop next to my building. But I’m really busy today and I have to get back. I’m sorry, Darren.” She sounded disappointed that she had to turn me down.
“Okay then. Maybe I’ll catch up with you later,” I replied with perhaps a little disappointment in my own voice.
“We’ll talk later, I promise.”
I took a deep breath. “Bye Kay.” I hung up the phone, and I was pissed. Here I am trying to make her mine, and she didn’t even let me get my foot in the door. She’s crazy if she thinks I’m gonna keep running after her.
Those words ran through my mind as I let my anger get the better of me. But why was I pissed? I didn’t love Kay. I just liked her. If she didn’t have time or want to spend some time with me, I shouldn’t be feeling the way I am. Ugh! I really liked her. I wanted to get to know her better. What was it going to take? I had no idea, but I was about to give up. Darren Smith may have hung out, but Dude Smith didn’t have time for games.
Kay hung up the phone and contemplated our phone conversation only until her order was called. She paid for her food and went back to her office. She ate at her desk, as we all did on occasion. As she was sitting there reading and eating, she remembered that she hadn’t gotten an important contract.
She went back downstairs to see if something came in the mail. As she turned the corner to address the receptionist, she was startled by Jacob Martin. Tall, well dressed, and from what I was told, very smart and extremely ambitious in all aspects of his life. I wasn’t aware of it, but he had a huge crush on Kay.
“Hello, Kay,” I said from behind her.
She jumped. I didn’t mean to startle her. Kay was by far the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life. Believe me, I had seen many. She also had something else about her that attracted me to her. She was smart, strong, and very independent. I loved those traits in a woman, especially the independent part.
“Oh! Jacob you scared me. How are you today?”
I smiled my million-dollar smile and happily replied, “Have you heard? I finally got the promotion.”
Kay smiled a genuine smile. “That’s great. Congratulations!”
“Thank you. Now I can afford to take my dream girl on a date.”
Kay smiled a curious smile. “Dream girl? Who is she?”
“I can’t tell you yet.”
“Why not? Does she work here or something?”
I looked around to ensure no one was listening. Then I whispered, “As a matter of fact, she does. If she turns me down, I don’t want the whole office to know about it.”
“Well if she says yes, the office will still know.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to jinx it, you know?”
Kay giggled. “I understand.” She moved on with the reason she was in the lobby in the first place. “Have you seen our receptionist?”
“Not recently. Maybe she went to the restroom.”
Kay sighed. “I guess I will wait until later.”
“Were you looking for something?” I asked.
Kay nodded. “My mail. I have a contract from a client I was waiting on. I need it before the next weekly meeting.”
I smiled widely. “Well I’m not doing anything right now. I can get it and bring it up to you if you want.
Kay smiled widely. “Oh, how sweet. Sure. I’ll be in my office. Thanks Jacob.”
I returned the smile. “You’re welcome, Kay.”
Kay walked to the elevators with my eyes on her ass the whole way. I began to get an erection. But this was normal. I was always excited in her presence. Wow. See you later, dream girl. I wonder if she has a boyfriend?
I kept to my word and collected Kay’s mail for her.
Since Kay turned me down, I had to find something else to do with my time. I thought about getting together with Melissa, but she also turned me down. Kay again came to the forefront of my mind, and I needed to vent. I went to see Jeffrey.
Melissa will be here shortly. I think we will go to lunch and then to the beach. The doorbell rang.
Oh, she’s early. The doorbell rang again. “Coming!” I shouted.
I moved across my living room to the front door. I was a bit disappointed to find Dude at the door.
“What the hell are you doing here? It’s our one day off before we have to deal with the Swanson account.”
He nodded. “I know man. But I needed to talk.”
“Oh, come on man, are you serious? I thought it was all good. You took her to church, didn’t try to sleep with her, and you were fine.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m trying to be good. I just want her so bad.”
I rolled my eyes. “She’s not like all the other tricks you date. She’s the marrying type. You know, one of the good ones.”
Obviously offended Dude scowled. “Married? Who said anything about getting married?”
I rolled my eyes again. “No one. I’m just saying she’s a good woman. If not you, she will make someone a good wife.”
“Well it won’t be me.”
“If you say so. Hey man look. I happen to know she really likes you. But if you don’t want to be with her for real, just leave her alone.”
Dude thought about it for a second, and viciously shook his head. “I can’t do that. I like her. I’m not saying I’m going to marry her, but I like her.”
“So, figure it out. Look. I have a date today, and she will be here any minute. I don’t want you here when she gets here.”
Dude chuckled. “Why? Afraid she is gonna like me better than you?”
I knew Dude very well. I knew he was in pain, but I chose to ignore it. I had something else going on.
“Get out of here man. I want to be alone with my girl.” Shit, I shouldn’t have said that.
“Your girl? I didn’t know you had a girl,” Dude said with a huge smile on his face. “Who is she? Ravyn?”
“No, it isn’t Ravyn. But I need you to go.”
He sighed. “Okay, okay. Going.”
He turned to walk towards the front door, and I said, “Get your life together man,” I started. “Stop sleeping with everything. Kay is the one for you.”
Dude nodded happily. “Yeah, yeah. I’m out.”
Before he could get to the door, the doorbell rang. That would be Melissa. I didn’t want him to know who my woman was. “There she is. Damn it, Dude.”
He shrugged. “My bad.”
“Come in!” I shouted, as Dude waited to see what was going to come through the door. I could see it in his face that he was shocked to see Melissa. She wore a tight black tank and short blue jean shorts. Holy shit she was hot. I knew Dude wanted her, and I’m sure it looked like I betrayed him, but I didn’t. For once I wanted to be the one to get the beautiful girl.
I forgot that Dude was in the room, and I moved to kiss her. I gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Hey babe,” I said smiling.
I turned to Dude and yes, he was pissed. I was going to have to explain to him later, but right now, there was a blue-eyed beauty that required my attention.
“Jeff, I will call you later. I’m out,” he said without speaking to Melissa. I didn’t care.
“Yeah. See you later.”
I kissed Melissa deeply, just as the door slammed, and went on with our date.
Pissed, I left slamming the door as I did. I went home and immediately got in the shower to cool down. Perhaps Celiene could help. I got out of the shower and went to her building.
Her assistant announced me, and I went into her office. She was a little surprised to see me.
“Dude, what are you doing here?”
I didn’t even know. “I came to see if you wanted to go to dinner.”
“Why are you asking me? Did Kay turn you down?”
She was more aware of my feelings for a certain woman than I was.
I shook my head. “Aw Celiene, it isn’t like that. Can’t I just want to spend some time with you?”
She wasn’t buying it. “So, did she turn you down or what?” she asked.
I crossed my arms and gave her a dirty look. “No, she didn’t because I didn’t ask her.”
She chuckled a bit. “You’re not gonna use me just to get to her, Dude. I know you’re in love with her.”
Why in the hell did everyone seem to see something that I didn’t? “What? Woman, are you out of your mind? I may like her, but I don’t love her.”
Celiene smirked. She was pissed at me. However, I had no idea why. “Deny it all you want, but you have some strong feelings for her.”
I ignored her words. “So, do you want to go to dinner with me or what?”
She didn’t want to miss a free, very expensive meal.
“Sure. I get off at four thirty. Where are we going?”
Celiene was special, so of course I took her to my favorite food spot. Sitting at our table, we talked about varying things. Kay was the largest part of our conversation. I tried to keep her in the back of my head. It seemed to be working when...
“You look gorgeous tonight Kay,” Jacob said. “Thank you for coming out with me.”
I smiled awkwardly. “When you told me about your dream girl, I didn’t think you meant me.”
Jacob shrugged. “Well, I wasn’t going to ask until I found out if you were single. I’m glad you are.”
I giggled and replied, “You’re so sweet Jacob. Thank you for asking me out. I was feeling a little down earlier.”
“Can I ask about what?”
I shook my head. “I really don’t want to talk about it and ruin our evening. I will tell you about it another time.”
Jacob nodded. “Okay, that’s fine.”
We for our turn to be seated. Soon, the host approached.
“Welcome, my name is Robert. Is it just the two of you?”
Jacob nodded. “Yes.”
“Very well. This table is available. You can have a seat right here. I will be back with your menus.”
Jacob held out my chair, and I sat down.
“Have you ever been here before?” Jacob asked, pulling out his own chair and taking a seat.
I nodded. “Yes, I have. The food is really good.”
They looked into each other’s eyes, and I watched this happen, absolutely horrified. In the meantime, Celiene saw what I saw.
“Hey, is that Kay over there?” She asked. She had to be kidding. I was not about to deal with one of my demons while I was out with someone else.
I couldn’t help myself. “Where?”
Celiene pointed across the room. “There.”
I had already seen it. I was trying to ignore it. Basically, Celiene was giving me permission to act an ass in public. I went with it. I turned around, and my cap just about came off. Kay was one of my girls. She was not supposed to be out with someone else. I immediately stood up angry as hell. “Excuse me for a moment, Celiene.”
I stormed across the restaurant not knowing what I was going to say when I got to her table. So, all that would come out was, “Hello Kay,” in a very cold tone.
She knew I was upset so she crossed her arms and introduced the meathead. “Hello Darren. I would like you to meet, Jacob Martin.”
I looked over at him. Nicely dressed, and almost as good-looking as I was. Almost. The one thing that really got me is he was a different race. I had already been down this road before with a woman I cared about. I didn’t like that this situation made me think of my relationship with Lucy. However, I was as polite as I could be with an angry scowl on my face. “Hello, Jacob.” I quickly turned my attention back to Kay. “Can I speak with you outside, Kay?” I didn’t wait on her to reply; I just walked out of the front door and expected her to follow. I really would have looked like an ass if she didn’t follow me. When I got outside, I turned to see her coming out of the door. I stood with my arms crossed and waited for her. “What in the hell are you doing here?”
She crossed her arms and practically spit venom on me. “I’m on a date, what does it look like?”
I had no intentions of being nice. “Who is that meathead?”
“Why are you worried about it? I could ask you the same question. Who is that bimbo you are here with?”
“Her name is Celiene and she is a friend. I’m here with her because you didn’t want to give me the time of day.”
“When did I say that?” She asked, clearly trying to remember.
She became very defensive, and she practically yelled at me. “Darren, look. I can’t drop everything just to spend time with you! I have a job just like you! I get busy just like you!”
It wasn’t very often that she raised her voice, but when she did, it did something to me. I’m not exactly sure what, but I suddenly felt guilty for being upset with her. “I understand that Kay.”
Just when I was cooling down, out comes the meathead to raise my blood pressure again.
He turned to Kay and said, “Kay I ordered your food for you. I hope that was okay.”
She smiled at him the way she once smiled at me, and that really pissed me off. “Yes Jacob, thank you.”
I didn’t want to look at her happy with some other guy. “Perhaps you should go eat,” I said with some serious attitude.
“Thank you for giving me permission to continue my date. I will talk to you another day, Darren.”
I watched her walk away from me, and I was mad as hell. At least at first. Once she went back in the restaurant, I felt a pain in my heart that I didn’t want to feel. As I stood there contemplating what I was feeling, Celiene came out to find me.
“Is there something wrong, Dude?” She asked.
I nodded. “Yes. Come on; let’s go to a different restaurant.”
“Aw, come on sweets. I wanted to try the duck,” she whined.
I rolled my eyes. “Come on, Celiene.”
We walked to my car, and I drove to another restaurant in silence. I did promise Celiene dinner, and I wasn’t going to back out on her. After we ate, I drove her home a little chattier than I was before. But Kay was still in the back of my mind. I pulled up to Celiene’s house and walked her to the door.
“Do you want to come in?” She asked, either flirting with me, or just trying to be nosy.
I shook my head. “No babe. I’m gonna go home. I’m not in the best of moods.”
She sighed and shook her head. She knew exactly how I was feeling. “Dude, you have got to tell her how you feel.”
I shook my head violently. I knew where she was going. “I am not in love with her, Celiene.”
She pursed her lips and put her hands on her hips. “Yes, you are. That’s why you freaked out tonight.”
I didn’t have it in me to argue with her. I really didn’t want to think about it. “I’ll see you later, Celiene,” I said as I sadly walked away. I got in my car, turned on some soothing jazz, and drove home.
I walked into my house and went straight to my bedroom. I sat on the edge of my bed and sighed as I thought about Kay’s beautiful doe shaped eyes, looking at someone who was not me. Did I love Kay? I didn’t want to.