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Chapter 7 - Lighter Fluid

November 20th, 1991

“Lilian! Hey, Lilian!” Kelly hollered across the PX as I was leaving for the day.

“Yeah?” I called over my shoulder as I turned back.

“Do you want to come to Country and Western Night at the club with us tonight?” Kelly asked.

“Sure. Sounds good.”

“At about 8?”

“Cool,” I said as I shrugged the guilty thoughts away.

“Great, we’ll see you there.”

I was painfully thirsty when I left work that night. I thought about going to the club right then and getting something to quench it. I resisted, but when I got home, I got ready fast and left early.

Kelly arrived at the e-club at 8.

“Hey, Kelly.” I said as she walked up to what had become our regular table.

“There’s my girl!”

“How’s it goin’?”

“Good! Lilian, these are some of my friends from , Christine, Jason, Alex, Matt, you know Jason and Richard, and this is Grady, but we call him Sarge,” Kelly introduced.

“Good to meet ya’ll, and yes, I know Jason and Dick,” I replied looking into Richard’s eyes before he looked away and pretended not to notice me.

“Hi,” Christine said.

“Hey,” Jason said.

Everyone else nodded.

“How are you?” Sarge asked as he sat down next to me.

“Good, and you?’ I asked.

“Pretty good, now that I’ve met you.”

Shit. I told him he was sweet.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Sarge asked.

I nodded. Sarge left the group to fetch a drink for me, and one for himself. I turned to Kelly, “Sarge seems like a nice guy.”

“He is,” Kelly said.

Sarge returned with a glass of rum and coke, a round of shots, and a beer—Budweiser. The DJ started playing Garth’s “Friends in Low Places.”

“So, here’s to new friends in low places,” Sarge said as he held his shot up in salute. Everyone drank their shots while I took a drink of my rum and coke. I winced at the alcohol burning my throat and wrinkled my nose.

“It tastes like lighter fluid,” I said.

“Here, I’ll drink it,” Kelly said in a state somewhere between laughter and irritation.

“No. No, I don’t want to offend anybody. Thanks,” I said trying not to admit to myself how much I really wanted it.

“Any time.”

“Is there something up there that doesn’t taste like lighter fluid?” I asked.

“How about a blowjob?” Sarge propositioned with one raised eyebrow.

“What?” I asked nearly choking on the last sip and a little shocked that he just came right out and asked for it in front of everybody.

“A blowjob. It’s a drink,” Sarge said.

My eyes close slightly in relief, “Is it any good?” I asked.

“Kelly likes them.”

“ ’kay.”

Sarge bought another round for the table. When he returned, the drinks looked like miniature hot chocolates with their foamy whip cream on top. I picked mine up and started to lick the whip cream off.

“Let Kelly show you how,” Sarge said as he pulled my hand down. “Kelly, show this little girl how to give a blowjob.”

Kelly put her mouth over the entire lip of the glass, picked it up with her mouth, and threw her head back. Everyone whooped and hollered. Kelly got a standing ovation from the rest of the marines surrounding our table.

“Go ahead Lilian,” Kelly urged.

I tried the same way, but I choked on the whip cream.

“That’s alright girl. You wanna give ’er another go?” Sarge asked after slapping my back a couple of times while I was trying to cough.

“Sure. It tasted pretty good. There’s just a lot to drink,” I explained.

“It’s just one shot. I’ll go get you another one,”

Sarge scooted out from the table and headed back to the bar. He was cute in a Tom-Cruise kind of way. Not really my type, but good-looking to the other girls in the club. They watch him as he walks across the barroom floor like he is a chocolate chip cookie. The guys at the bar must know him because he stops to have a laugh about something. It seems as if the guys wish they were him: smooth, clever, desired by every girl, except me.

“Lilian?” Kelly tried to reach me through the alcohol a few hours later.

“Yeah?” I replied.

“You need someone to walk you home, honey?”

“No. I just need to sit here a while.”

“Honey, you can’t. They’re closin’. You gotta go home.”


“Here. Let me help you up.”

Kelly put my arm around her neck and pulled me to my feet. Laughing at my feet that seemed to be stuck to the floor, I tried to stand on my own. I tried. I failed, and fell to my knees on the concrete bar-room floor.

“Hey, Sarge!” Kelly called out. “Can you help me get Lilian home?”

“Yep. Where does she live?” Sarge asked.

“Here, I’ll write it down.” Kelly proceeded to divulge private information in order for Sarge to scrape my ass off the floor and deposit me in my apartment. “She sure is going to have a headache in the morning,” Kelly sympathized.

“No kiddin’,” Sarge agreed.

“You want me to walk with you guys?” Kelly asked.

“No, Kelly. You go on home. I’ll take care of her, make sure she’s safe.”

Sarge pulled me along for a few steps until he gave up and just scooped me up like I was as light as petals. I rested my head on his tanned neck. He smelled like smoke and beer. The smoky smell and the crooked position of my neck made it hard to breathe.

“Wrap your arms around my neck, sugar.”

I did as he said, and I was rewarded with a tight squeeze and a nuzzle. I put my forehead against his neck and fell asleep.

About twenty minutes into my nap, Sarge asked, “Where’s your key, sugar?”

“Huh?” I asked, suddenly the dunce. I couldn’t understand a word this guy was saying.

“Where’s your key?”

“I don’ know.”

“How’re you gonna get in?”

“Through the mailbox.”

I slung my arm around to point at the mailbox. Sarge looked confused. Then looked in the mailbox, and found the hide-a-key. He slipped the key in the lock, unlocked it, and put the key back where he found it.

“Here you go sugar,” he said as he opened the door to my apartment.

Like a flip book of pictures, I remember pieces or frames of action. I was laying on the tile floor of my apartment. I felt my shirt being unbuttoned, my belt buckle undone, my button on my Wranglers allowing me to breathe again, thank God, my zipper pulling down, my boots taken off, then my pants, then my shirt. My socks were still on. I always took my socks off. I felt a chill run up my leg on the inside of my thigh.

I felt my bra undone in the front and my panties were gone. I tried to open my eyes, but when I did, it was dark. I couldn’t see a thing. My back was frozen from the tile. I wanted my warm bed. I rolled over onto my knees and tried to find my way to my bed.

“Where are you goin’, sugar?” a voice asked in the darkness.


“Where are you goin’?”

“To bed.”

“Sure. Let’s go.”



“I’m going to bed, not you.”

“Okay, sugar. Can I help you into your bed though?”

He didn’t wait for me to answer. He just picked me up and carried me against his bare chest. He placed me in the middle of the bed and stopped.

“Thanks,” I say as I curled into my pillow.

“You’re welcome,” he whispered in my ear. My hair stood up, but I didn’t know why. It was quiet again, and I covered my body completely, including my head, with my blanket.

I was asleep in a few seconds. Sometime in the night, I had to puke. There was a trashcan by my bed, so I didn’t have to get up. There was also a glass of water on the nightstand, and a mint. Kelly was such a good friend.

“Are you feeling better?” a man’s voice asked in the dark.

“Who’s there!”



“Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten me.”

“Hey, uh… Sarge, thanks for taking care of me and all, but you can leave now.”

“No, I cain’t.”

“Why not?”

“I ain’t finished yet.”


“I ain’t finished yet.”

He bent over me and put his mouth near my ear. I felt him smile at my earlobe, and he whispered through his teeth, “You have to finish what you started.”

“What did I start?”

“You started with blowjobs tonight, now you have to finish mine.”

I felt his hand reach under my covers. He peeled back my cocoon. I turned on my back to face him, and started to scoot on my bare butt to my husband’s side of the bed. Sarge grabbed my ankles and pulled me toward him. The sheet burned my backside. Sarge was naked. He laid on top of me and pinned me with his weight.

“Now, come on girl. You know you want me,” Sarge said, and I felt his hardness on my thigh.

My brain was still fuzzy, and I couldn’t find words.

Sarge moved quickly to my mouth and shoved his dick in. He held my wrists high above my head, shoulder width apart, leaning all his weight on my wrists. He held my torso between his knees. He pumped harder and plunged deep into my throat. Gagging, I couldn’t breathe, so I bit. Sarge froze, took the pain with an intake of breath, then laughed.

“Aww, little girl likes to bite. So do I.”

Sarge pulled out of my mouth. I sucked in a breath as he slid down, and pulled me by the wrists farther up onto the bed. Then he put his mouth on mine, sucked my lower lip into his mouth, and bit down. I screamed, but he covered my mouth with his, so I couldn’t breathe.

Blood filled my mouth. Swallowing before it choked me, the salty liquid made me gag. I threw up then, and Sarge jumped back.

There’s more than one way to repel a shark.

While I was puking on the bed, the shark circled, swam up behind me, and, while I was still puking, pushed my face down into my puke and held my head there.

“Now, I’m gonna finish.”

He plunged into me, and after another minute or two, he finished. He leaned down to my ear and whispered, “You are good.”

Sarge rubbed my face in the vomit once more before he stood and dressed. I rolled away from the puke and curled my knees into my chest.

“I’ll see you next Wednesday, sugar.” He leaned over again before he left and bit down on the back of my neck.

I heard him walk to the front door, open it, and leave. I couldn’t find my tears, my legs, or my voice.

It didn’t happen.

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