JeronimoVillar would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

MY DREAMS OF THE ETERNAL PISS

By JeronimoVillar All Rights Reserved ©

Other / Drama

Blurb

This is a book about me, Tobias. And my life. When I was a kid. And when I was in high school and about Julia and about Zach and about Rusty and Stevie. And about the good things like friends and living and the beautiful things that are everywhere and about the pain of getting your heart broken and about loss and about those things that make the sadness inside of you grow so big that your body sweats and your spine hurts and your sternum aches and your knees grind and your mind screams and you can't hear any of it. This is a book about all of that.

1

It was 2:30pm and we were finally on our way home from school. Inside the banana colored public-school bus, the brown leather seats were worn and scribbled upon with so and so´s names and with elementary school gossip of how some lonely boy was in love with the chubby, pimply and terribly sad gym teacher. I liked gym class and thought of Miss Peggy Chandler as a nice woman. There were ten kids on the bus counting myself, and then there was the driver and Miss Luella Hardy, the school-bus monitor. Miss Luella reminded me of my cousin Billy´s Rotweiller who had its two hind legs blown off when their neighbor, the Live Free or Die Oliver Teenly dressed as Santa Claus, set off monumental fireworks sometime during mid-March. The dog, Bumpkin, lost its legs and, later, at the vet’s Mr. Teenly lost the costume. My father told me that they sent Mr. Teenly to the ‘big house’ because, though he had a habit of being inappropriately naked, Bumpkin’s animal-doctor wasn’t fond of Oliver Teenly’s privates and neither was his seven year old daughter. I would really like to have a big house with a big yard. Neither Bumpkin nor Louella Hardy would be invited.

“Zach” I said,

“Ya?”

“Did you know that if you take your clothes off, they take you to a very big house with a very big yard?”

“Who takes you?”

“I dunno, the same people that took Mr. Teenly to a big house”

Tiffany Snyder, wrapped in a pretty little dress with her muddy knees exposed screeched like Bumpkin had when the fireworks devoured his legs.

“ZACHARY NOODLE!!!! PUT YOUR NOODLE AWAY!!! What in Christ’s Holy name are you doing?”

Miss Luella Hardy’s eyes were close to popping out from her face into little Stevie Dooley´s lap, who was, as punishment and to his disgrace, sitting next to her for having thrown his chocolate milk at the driver. It was soothing how little the driver seemed to care about anything. There could have been Sigfried and Roy’s tiger behind him eating the slow-witted Greek boy Rusty Georgopolous and his eyes would have lazily wandered towards the speeding wheels of oncoming cyclists.

Little Stevie looked at the driver, with a tangerine in hand, then at Miss Luella Hardy who looked at Zach, Zach looked at Tiffany, Tiffany looked at me, and I looked down and quickly pulled my trousers up before anybody noticed my noodle bouncing to the rhythm of the wheels on the asphalt. Tangerine burst on the driver’s friar-like baldness. I sat down.

Zachary Noodle pulled his shorts back up and took a seat next to me.

“TIFFANY SIT DOWN, that’s not the last one you’re gonna see!” grumbled Miss Luella Hardy, “and you Zach, please sit down, that was inappropriate.”

Tiffany sat down, tears zigzagging down her face while Miss Luella Hardy wiped the dime-sized beads of sweat from her forehead and armpits with the Georgopolous boy’s red, wool sweater. Stevie stared intently at the remnants of tangerine on the driver’s crowning crest. AND THE DRIVER DROVE ON.

Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

sujitha nair: What's so distinct about this story was that it could easily be real.Praveena can be your classmate, neighbor or that girl you saw at the coffee shop today. The important decisions she makes and the dilemmas she faces, remind us of our own twisted lives.

sherylprins: A thoroughly enjoyable read, "Everything Changes in Spring" by first time novelist Robyn Prins. An intriguing read that illustrates the effects misconceptions can have on relationships.Great characterisations with a plot filled with twist and turns that keeps you engaged throughout the whole book...

OpheliaJones: This story took a different kind of spin on the "normal girl lives with definitely not normal guy" plot. The plot points of Frey's father, Liam's family, and Frey's view of Liam's world were good to read. She did not fall in love with him in the first couple weeks. Their lives were not smooth in ...

brettylee: The narrative is slick yet punchy. Life, Family and Friends I believe is the core message so it’s easy to relate to. It’s surprisingly action packed. The author does a good job at keeping you guessing. Just when you think all is right, whack, the unexpected happens. The dialogue is energetic and ...

Laraine Smith: My only suggestion on the grammar is to use www.grammarcheck.net. I have it bookmarked on Google Chrome. I see myself in the determination in this beautiful story! I have Cerebral Palsy, and I have dreams that I have been working hard for, too! The humor made me laugh!

Riskaninda Maharani: This story told about love between Christopher Schlösser (a German) and Anggia Selestina (an Indonesian) that happened in Düsseldorf, Germany in an autumn. The German autumn which was so different with the autumn in the other four season countries, especially in Anggia's eyes when her heart-movin...

christylynnr5: This was beyond amazing! I loved this book. The characters seemed so real. It was amazing how the author let Zak and Kaylees personalities slowly change. This story was very sad and eye opening. It could teach some people a very worthy lesson. It was a great combination of romance, mystery, and a...

ianwatson: The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...

PokemænStivo: I have just finished reading this novel and I love it!First, the plot was very well designed. It tells the story of a person nearly kill herself. But then someone appears in her life. Someone who was already in this situation and came out of it. Someone who could hear, understand and help the oth...

More Recommendations

Dessie Williams: loved the book. the plot the characters all just great.I think it's a must read. once you start this book it's hard to put down. hope it gets published....I think this book is a must read.great job!!!!

Lydia Sherrer: I first read The Speaker almost a decade ago when I first discovered author Sandra Leigh. I loved it then, and I still love it now. It is a simple, easy read, yet deep in meaning and rich in storyline. I do not know what kind of research or prior knowledge Leigh has of First Nation tribes, but sh...

Swostika Ghimire: Seriously, now I am in love with this story.This story is making me crazy. Beginning was awesome and ending is mind blowing.I loved all the characters of this story. Thankgod I found this story here. I was about to be crazy eating for updates in wattpad.And mostly I appreciate author of this stor...

csimesser1: If you love a biker romance with a lot of drama then this book is for you. Some of the plot was very predictable but there was plenty of twists to keep you reading. I could not stop reading it

{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.