MY DREAMS OF THE ETERNAL PISS

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Summary

The coming of age story of Tobias Minkle. Childhood friendships, teenage love, and the post-college existential crises that we all seem to go through. This is a book about me, Tobias. And my life. When I was a kid. And when I was in high school and about Julia and about Zach and about Rusty and Stevie. And about the good things like friends and living and the beautiful things that are everywhere and about the pain of getting your heart broken and about loss and about those things that make the sadness inside of you grow so big that your body sweats and your spine hurts and your sternum aches and your knees grind and your mind screams and you can't hear any of it. This is a book about all of that.

Genre:
Drama / Other
Author:
JeronimoVillar
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
56
Rating:
5.0 4 reviews
Age Rating:
18+

1

It was 2:30pm and we were finally on our way home from school. Inside the banana colored public-school bus, the brown leather seats were worn and scribbled upon with so and so´s names and with elementary school gossip of how some lonely boy was in love with the chubby, pimply and terribly sad gym teacher. I liked gym class and thought of Miss Peggy Chandler as a nice woman. There were ten kids on the bus counting myself, and then there was the driver and Miss Luella Hardy, the school-bus monitor. Miss Luella reminded me of my cousin Billy´s Rotweiller who had its two hind legs blown off when their neighbor, the Live Free or Die Oliver Teenly dressed as Santa Claus, set off monumental fireworks sometime during mid-March. The dog, Bumpkin, lost its legs and, later, at the vet’s Mr. Teenly lost the costume. My father told me that they sent Mr. Teenly to the ‘big house’ because, though he had a habit of being inappropriately naked, Bumpkin’s animal-doctor wasn’t fond of Oliver Teenly’s privates and neither was his seven year old daughter. I would really like to have a big house with a big yard. Neither Bumpkin nor Louella Hardy would be invited.

“Zach” I said,

“Ya?”

“Did you know that if you take your clothes off, they take you to a very big house with a very big yard?”

“Who takes you?”

“I dunno, the same people that took Mr. Teenly to a big house”

Tiffany Snyder, wrapped in a pretty little dress with her muddy knees exposed screeched like Bumpkin had when the fireworks devoured his legs.

“ZACHARY NOODLE!!!! PUT YOUR NOODLE AWAY!!! What in Christ’s Holy name are you doing?”

Miss Luella Hardy’s eyes were close to popping out from her face into little Stevie Dooley´s lap, who was, as punishment and to his disgrace, sitting next to her for having thrown his chocolate milk at the driver. It was soothing how little the driver seemed to care about anything. There could have been Sigfried and Roy’s tiger behind him eating the slow-witted Greek boy Rusty Georgopolous and his eyes would have lazily wandered towards the speeding wheels of oncoming cyclists.

Little Stevie looked at the driver, with a tangerine in hand, then at Miss Luella Hardy who looked at Zach, Zach looked at Tiffany, Tiffany looked at me, and I looked down and quickly pulled my trousers up before anybody noticed my noodle bouncing to the rhythm of the wheels on the asphalt. Tangerine burst on the driver’s friar-like baldness. I sat down.

Zachary Noodle pulled his shorts back up and took a seat next to me.

“TIFFANY SIT DOWN, that’s not the last one you’re gonna see!” grumbled Miss Luella Hardy, “and you Zach, please sit down, that was inappropriate.”

Tiffany sat down, tears zigzagging down her face while Miss Luella Hardy wiped the dime-sized beads of sweat from her forehead and armpits with the Georgopolous boy’s red, wool sweater. Stevie stared intently at the remnants of tangerine on the driver’s crowning crest. AND THE DRIVER DROVE ON.

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Further Recommendations

Carla Barnes: I enjoyed this book so much1, the way the characters developed and the end. It had a smile on my face the entire ladt chapter......I have enjoyed each of her books..

Lungelo: I loved this book so much🥺 the storyline is beautiful and interesting to read.

jincess: So going to miss these twoThank you for this ans I hope you start another book soon

YT WEIRDO: The fact that the book ends before she even goes on the date/dinner is so frustrating. But Even though...I love your story and the rollercoasters it takes me on. 💚🖤🖤⚔☠😁☠⚔🖤🖤💚

Yamini: Fabulous. Keep up the good work

reneeyoung922: The grammar bends to be better monitored, too many lapses on word choice or spelling interrupt the flow of the story.

Addy: This book is really good! There’s a minuscule amount of grammar/punctuation errors, and the plot is smooth and easy to follow. The likeable characters are carefully thought out, and each character’s thoughts and feelings are expressed in their point of view. I love it so far!

Jearl A: Wow! That doll was so much fun.

lesleyknight4: Loved loved loved this book. Such a gentle love story. Can't wait to discover other books the author might have written.

More Recommendations

Lynda465: So exciting. Can’t wait for more. Keep up the great story.

Jennifer Leigh Anne Ciliska: Delightful!! Loved it!! Thank you for sharing your story with me

Mbali: I like how the husband is cold at first then he starts to losen up and relize he autually loves her

Marianne: Very nice story

vcarroll1: I absolutely loved this book so intense interesting intriguing and it keeps your hooked from the first chapter to the last I’ve so enjoyed reading this thank you so much for writing this book

Dorothy McIntosh: Love it after all I'm reading the third one after this one keep going hun we love your books I'm going to read all of them because you are a good writer hun

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