Chapter Four - Hidden Demons
She wasn’t even sure how the Ouija board came to be in their house. She was just a teenager. It belonged to her older brother and yet she couldn’t imagine Mom buying it. But, as always, Pauline was curious, and she found a few friends that would use it with her. They tried it several times. This particular time they had been sitting in the room she now used as an office. Her friend, she found out years later, was being abused by her father and probably had some demons of her own. They were intrigued by the board, printed to look like it was very old, with scrolling fonts defining all the letters. But later that night, terrifying things had been communicated by the movement of the planchette, a plastic window to isolate a letter of the alphabet and spell out messages from, supposedly, deceased loved ones. First, supposedly, her grandmother was sending loving messages from the grave. Then, they actually had been told that their contact was Lucifer. At that moment the jar candle they’d been using suddenly went out! There was no wind, and the window was closed. What could have happened? She had gone to look at the candle, and in the jar was a piece of black fabric. The fabric turned out to be the nose of one of her stuffed animals . . . which hadn’t been anywhere near the candle. On another occasion, she’d been told the date she was supposed to die, and that it was to be in a car accident. She felt she’d tricked fate when she stayed home that day and did not drive. But every year she remembered, on that date, what it meant.
She’d had other frightening experiences too. Her ex-husband had been interested in crystals, ghosts, astral projection, the law of attraction, spirit guides, meditation, reading Tarot cards, and toward the end he even tried to learn channeling from a “psychic” friend. He never made her try any of his practices, but she wanted to please him and was drawn to some of them. Pauline watched one time when he was practicing channeling and didn’t see anything happen. But he said later that he felt the entity pushing him to the back of his body and taking over the front. He was much more into that stuff than she ever had been. She learned to meditate and liked it. She tried astral projection with him, learned Reiki, and collected crystals. The astral projection didn’t work, nor did the lucid dreaming. Unless God wasn’t letting her be ensnared by it. The tarot cards and spirit guides, and especially the channeling, made her quite nervous. The more she thought about it, it all did. She was intrigued by stories of yogis and learning things that were supposed to be secret knowledge, but if she really thought about it, she had heard plenty of Christian speakers talk about how you don’t know what the spirits really are, and if it’s not from God, it’s demonic. Three different times she had cleansed her home of all the books, DVDs, dream catchers, crystals, and anything else she couldn’t justify as a Christian. Why did it keep creeping back into her life? Now there was a meditation group at work and a yoga group after work. She had tried both and it still didn’t really sit well with her. THIS IS HOW THE HOLY SPIRIT TALKS TO ME, her mind insisted. He makes her lose interest or become uncomfortable with practices she should stay away from. Then she realizes her sins, and stops for a while. But the experiences went on and on. She’d been friends with some Native Americans who gave her a dreamcatcher and let her participate in a sweat lodge. Seemingly a healing detoxification method, much like modern day saunas, it was actually a very spiritual experience. Possibly dangerously so. She had joined the Rosicrucians, and dropped out when she was supposed to praise entities that were certainly not God. Her ex-husband also had relatives who were Masons, and some believe that is a cultish organization. She had taken several years of alternative medicine classes for certifications that were supposed to be worth something, and was possibly shammed, although she did learn a lot about health. However, a big part of the classes involved energy medicine-Reiki, acupuncture and acupressure, and meditation. All that was now in question. Even herbal medicine is questionable as it can be used to perform witchcraft. Once she had had a car accident, hit her head, and saw an apparition before she came to. She had thought she was awake, and then she really woke up to a live human talking to her--someone different from the apparition who had knocked on her car window. Why did she ever like that stuff, she wondered. When she thought about it all at once, she was horrified. She really needed God now. She had so many unexplained symptoms, and she was finding now that they could all be due to demonic presence in her life. As she could see now, there were any number of places and people she could have picked up those things from. What to do now?