I am not going to be CINDERELLA!

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Chapter 7 - Makena

That was the best date I’ve ever been on. Okay I admit it that was the only date I’ve ever been on. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t the best. I put a finger on my bruised lips, they were puffy from all the kissing I have been doing since yesterday. Did we only have are first kiss yesterday, I felt like Dylan knew me more than anyone had in years. Was it just a case Dylan was so easy to talk to? Why was I letting him see me something I had thought I wouldn’t ever show anyone. I lay in the bed I was tired but I wasn’t exhausted I had never had as much sleep as I did yesterday. Song lyrics were running through my head, I went and grabbed my song notebook from my school bag that was on the desk and looked at my dad’s guitar, I could never bring myself to play it. That was daddy’s guitar, but I needed to match this song up to music, so I could finish it. I looked at Daddy’s guitar. No I would wait till school on Monday book the music room for lunch if it was free. I lay on the bed quite a bit of the song wrote. Looked at the time 2am. Really? I looked around the room. I went to the ensuite looked at the hot tub size bath with jets and the walk in shower that had jets at all different angles. A bath would make me tired I suppose. I started running the bath, hoping it wouldn’t wake Dylan up from his bedroom. I climbed in the hot tub and set the jets on low the lavender of the bubbles was so smoothing. When my eyes were drifting shut, I climbed out unplugging the bath as I did then I wrapped myself in a white fluffy towel. I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair had gone into wet curls so much shorter than they had been even a day before. My eyes although tired seemed to be foreign to myself. I couldn’t put a finger on it, my eyes were the same blue eyes what was different about them now? Maybe it was the mirror. I looked at the mirror then shrugged it off, I was possibly tired and seeing things. I went back to the bedroom, threw on a pair of pjs I had brought myself to wear from Walmart. Actually pink cotton, nothing special but to have brought them for myself something I wanted it felt like they were pure diamonds. I can’t say I remember much after I climbed into bed, I think I was out like a light.

I stood on a stage, the crowd was going wild, I looked at my daddy he smiled at me like he was extremely proud of me. I looked at Nike he gave me a thumbs up as if saying go ahead this is all good and all for you. I looked at Grey he nodded at me with a huge smile. I looked at Fern, he came up to me and adjusted my hair for a few seconds. I laughed up at him, he seemed to take my old hair away, and he was curling my new pink thread in front of my face. “You rock there socks off Rock Star.” He told me. I looked at the crowd, all in underwear with pink teddies on. “You won’t leave me?” I asked him. “Sometimes people have to go away Mac but that doesn’t mean there not still here.” He said pointing at my heart. I looked at him. “What if they don’t come back?” I asked him tears starting. “Then write about it.” Daddy told me. “Write how you feel, sometimes the best songs come from our hearts Makena.” Daddy told me. “Your Mommy and I will be proud of you know matter what you do, as long as you are happy.” He told me. “What if I don’t know what will make me happy?” I asked them. “Then try everything. Don’t be afraid to try things Mac.” Grey told me. “Like crab how do you know you won’t like it until you try it?” He told me. “I do like crab.” I told him. “But you refused to try it for over a year, even though you ate crabsticks constantly.” Grey told me. “I was 4.” I told him rolling my eyes. We were having this conversation on a stage in front of everyone. “What if I get hurt letting people close?” I asked them, looking at Dylan Max Pam and Laura in the crowd, even Vincent was in the crowd with his inhaler. “Sometimes people hurt us.” Nike told me. “You’ve hurt me.” I told him before I could stop myself. “Maybe you should come talk to me, tell me how I hurt you. Tell me so the hurt doesn’t stay inside. You never were the type of girl to just let someone walk over you.” Nike told me. “I did though, I let Jasmine hurt me.” I told them. “You were a little innocent kid Mac, that’s her that’s not you. You are a brave rocking monster.” Fern told me. “What if I fail, what if I fall on my ass?” I asked them. “Then you pick yourself back up of that ground and try something else. We all have fears of failing Makena but you can’t stop them from letting you live.” Grey told me. “What if I let Dylan to close and he hurts me?” I asked. “What if you don’t and you lose someone special.” Daddy told me. “You trust him don’t you Mac, hes the first person you’ve felt you can be you with for years.” Daddy told me. I looked at Dylan in the crowd, remembering fighting and laughing with him on our date. Remembering actually having butterfly’s in my stomach. How the spark on my skin made me feel like I could do anything. How I saw that in his eyes when he talked to me. “If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work, but you can’t not risk being with someone in case it doesn’t work.” Daddy said. “No offence daddy but I don’t really trust your opinion on dating. I kind of don’t trust any of yours.” I told them looking at them. “Believe me I’ve read all about you, I can’t believe what you guys got up to whilst I was with my tutors or security or one of you.” I told them having to laugh. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about you all every single day. That I don’t still love all 4 of you.” I said to them. “We love you Makena, Mac Kenny or whatever nickname you give yourself. You will always be our princess.” Daddy said kissing my head. “I miss you.” I told him. “I know baby, I miss you too. I miss you from the moment I leave the house till the moment I get back, I still miss you even then.” He told me. It was a saying I was used to. “Let’s have a look at you my monster.” Daddy said to me, I stood proudly holding the guitar, I looked at it. It was the one from the mall today. Was that telling me to go buy it? It was $400 it wasn’t that extreme. I could go buy this guitar. “Yep your clean you’ll do.” Daddy said. “Actually is that mud behind your ear?” he asked me, I had to giggle that was normal. “No daddy no mud now, did I grow up okay?” I asked him, looking at his eyes for confirmation. “Mac I will always be proud of you, I’m sorry you got hurt. I never wanted you to be hurt. You never have to be Cinderella princess you just need to talk to someone.” He told me. “There wasn’t anyone to talk to daddy.” I told him. “But now there is.” He told me indicating my friends. “They want to be there for you Mac, Family are those you love and who love you. Those 5 want to be there for you and you would do the same for them if you could.” He told me. “Don’t you think I’m using Dylan to stay here?” I asked worried. “No darling I don’t because you’d leave the moment he wanted you to. He asked you to stay you didn’t ask to. You were more willing to run away and live in your car than you were to even tell your friends you had no home. You show him who you are, that yes you’ve been hurt but you’re a fighter.” Daddy told me. “Just don’t go showing him other parts of you.” Daddy said firmly. “Am I really having a sex ed talk on a stage in front of millions?” I asked them giggling. “I am proud of you Makena Rosebud Gibson Allen Stone. Don’t hide who you are you be proud of being you.” He told me. “I will be daddy.” I told him. He kissed my head. “It’s time to go now Makena.” He said sadly, we were off stage now and outside the house. I looked at it. “Don’t leave me here with them.” I begged him. “I don’t want to princess maybe next time you can come with me and sing with me on stage. Your always with me on stage I have your picture right here.” He said pointing to his chest pocket and pulling it out. “I love you daddy.” I told him. “I love you Uncle Fern, Uncle Grey, Uncle Nike.” I told them, as they all pulled out matching photos. “We love you too monster, remember family by choice.” Grey told me. “Family.” I said. I looked back and Jasmine and Sea were stood there frowning at me and the plane. Stasia was stood to the side in limbo as if she didn’t know what she wanted. Halfway between me and Jasmine. I looked back at her. “My family.” I said pointing at her. “I love you Makena you be there for your baby sister and she will always love you.” He told me. “I will daddy.” I told him. “Remember we are always here with you even if we are apart.” Fern told me. I nodded. “I love you all bye.” I said stepping back the plane took off then. It went up but never came down, it just kept going up and up and up taking them far away. I looked at the sky and it was loads of people’s faces, people I had known on and off in my short life, who had been there for me. Even my homeroom teacher was in the sky, holding a detention slip but she was there. I grinned at her and took the slip. “Do you just write these out automatically?” I asked her. “Yes I do.” She told me. “Maybe I should get you a stamp with my name on.” I told her. Suddenly I was in the house I knew, but it was not the same at the same time. It was like it was fighting to be my home that I loved and the home I wasn’t welcome. Suddenly I could hear the sound of fun house by pink. I laughed as Sea and Jasmine were walking around as clowns. I walked up the stairs and they were pictures of my life in this house with my step family. Then pictures of me with daddy. Us skating around the house. I started singing along to fun house, every time I said evil clowns Sea and Jasmine would walk past. Stasia was helping me get everything out that we wanted to. We were jumping on the mattress in the front garden like it was a trampoline. We were laughing jumping on the mattress, I remembered doing this with her once when Jasmine was away on set and it was just the two of us. We hadn’t taken the mattress to the yard but we had jumped on it laughing our heads off. “I love you Kenny.” Stasia’s little voice said. “I love you too Stasia.” I told her. “I miss you I will always be here, I’m here when you’re ready.” I told her. “Isn’t that what Nike said to you?” she asked me. I sat on the mattress and thought back to it. “I can’t remember.” I said seriously. “Why don’t you go see.” She told me. “I’m not brave enough not to be wanted.” I told her. “I want you.” Stasia said. I looked at her. “You do?” I asked her. “Yeah I wish it was just me and you sometimes.” She said. I remembered her telling me this before. “Why?” I asked her. “I don’t know, I just like being alone with you, your always happier when it’s just me and you.” She said. “What if mommy hits me now your gone.” She said. I looked at her, I never thought about that. “I will never let her hurt you.” I told her. “But how will you stop her when you’re not here.” She asked me. “I will stop her Stasia.” I told her. “I won’t let anyone hurt you.” I told her hugging her tight. I woke up then to the sound of fun house again, I sat up in a comfy bed that I felt lost in. I looked around fun house was still playing. I reached for my phone. “Hey?” I said half asleep. “Hey Kenny I know I said to wake up when you were ready but its 3pm did you want anything to eat?” Dylan asked me laughing. “Its 3pm?” I asked him. “Yeah.” He said. “Where are you?” I asked him. “Downstairs in the kitchen.” He said, I yawned. “Okay.” I yawned, closing my eyes again. Curling back up. “Kenny are you getting out the bed?” he asked me. “mmm.” I said sleepy. “Kenny are you still awake?” he asked me. “mmm.” I told him. “Kenny?” he asked. I didn’t reply, I drifted back to sleep but this time not dreaming. The next thing I knew it was dark. I looked out the window blinking. “What?” I said. I reached for my phone and it was gone. I had to hunt in the bed for it till I found it. 11pm. Had I really slept through the whole day? I had texts from Dylan Max Pam and Laura oops. I read Dylan’s first.

Dylan – are you awake?

Dylan – when you wake if you want food let me know

Dylan – Kenny are you alive in there?

Dylan – you won’t sleep tonight now if you don’t wake up

Dylan – Kenny wake wakey

Dylan – you are sleeping beauty Kenny not Cinderella.

Dylan – I got to pop out if you wake up whilst I’m out there’s food in the kitchen

Dylan – are you awake?

Dylan – I’m home now. Are you still not awake? You obviously needed this.

Dylan – you drawl in your sleep.

Dylan - I’m going bed see you in the morning?

Dylan – Are you actually okay you don’t need a doctor or anything?

Dylan – Text me when you wake.

Pam – how was your day?

Pam – What have you and Dylan been up to?

Pam – what have you got for trig question 6?

Max – are you coming school Monday?

Laura – how was your day with Dylan.

I laughed at my phone and texted Dylan first.

Kenny – are you awake? I just woke

Then I texted Max Laura and Pam as a group message.

Kenny – sorry didn’t reply, how are you 3 I’m fine. I actually spent the whole day in bed asleep. I obviously needed it. Just woke up, had very strange dreams. Trig question 6 answer is.

I gave the answer to the problem it was. I got a reply from Dylan whilst I was still typing to the guys.

Dylan – are you hungry?

Kenny – yeah

Dylan – want to meet me in the kitchen?

Dylan – or want dinner in bed?

Kenny – I’ll come kitchen. Do I need to get dressed or can I come down in my pjs

Dylan – come down in whatever you want.

I climbed out the bed plugging the phone in to charge, went and cleaned my teeth incase Dylan and I did some kissing. Then I went down the stairs, Dylan was in the kitchen watching the microwave. “Hey.” I said not sure what else to say. “You okay this was tiredness you don’t feel sick or anything do you?” he asked me worried. “I’m fine Dylan I just obviously needed a long sleep and took a long time to drift off.” I admitted, “Tomato and basil pasta okay?” he asked me. “I will eat anything Dylan.” I told him. “Even caviar?” he asked me. “Alright not everything.” I told him. He laughed. He came and kissed me. “Yum spearmint.” He said once we finished kissing because the microwave pinged. “I’m glad you like my toothpaste as it’s in these weird guest cup thing.” I told him. He laughed. “I don’t normally make out with my guests.” He told me. “I’m kind of glad to hear that.” I told him. He went to the microwave and took the pasta dish out. “Did you have nice dreams?” he asked me. “I don’t know I can’t actually remember.” I told him and it was true, but I know I felt better now than I had in a longtime. “I don’t think I dreamed if I did I don’t remember. Except I think I dreamed Jasmine was dressed up as a clown in the house and it was a fun house.” I said thinking. “Maybe that’s because your ring tone.” He told me laughing. I took a bite of pasta, it had tuna in. it was really nice. “This is really good.” I told him. “Yeah Helene cooked it.” He said with a smile. “There’s a full roast dinner in there for you as well.” He told me. “Wow how much does she think I eat?” I asked him. He laughed, “She’s used to cooking for boys.” He said shrugging. “Are you coming school tomorrow?” I asked him. “I wanted to Kenny, but I got to go for lunch with my agent.” He told me. “Alright.” I said kissing him. “What’s your plan after school tomorrow?” he asked me. “4pm till 9pm shift.” I told him not sure what he would think of my work schedule. “Alright did you want dinner saved?” he asked me. “Get free meal at work.” I assured him. “Alright.” He said. “What about Tuesday?” he asked me. “4pm till 9pm shift then 10pm till 7am shift.” I admitted. “Kenny this is what you normally do?” he questioned me. I nodded. He kissed my head. “Please Kenny let me help you.” I shook my head. “You’ve helped me a lot already Dylan, I can’t let you support me financially.” I told him. “Okay.” He said but I saw he hated saying it. “Write your shift down for me.” he told me handing me a white board and 4 board pens in different colors. I looked at him. “Bit organized.” I told him. “I need to be if I ever want to see my girlfriend.” He said. “So we are dating?” I asked him. “That depends.” He said so seriously. “on.” I asked worried I couldn’t help it, now I was letting Dylan close I was afraid he was going to pull away. “If you want to be dating.” He said seriously. I nodded. “I want to date you.” I said meaning it. “It’s hard for me to let someone close but somehow Dylan you seem to have walked straight past all my barriers and threw them in the trash.” I told him. He laughed. “I’m glad.” He said he kissed me gently. He handed me a glass of water I had a few sips and then put it on the counter finishing the meal. I wrote out my schedule school 8am – 3pm Monday – Friday work at pizza Monday 4-9 Tuesday 4-9 Friday 4-9 Saturday 11am – 9pm Sunday 11am – 9pm. Walmart Tuesday 10pm – 7am Friday 10pm – 7am Saturday 10pm – 7am. Dylan looked at my schedule. “Fuck Kenny.” He said. I looked at him. “You realize you’re working 62 hours a week.” He asked me. I looked at my schedule. I shrugged. “It kept me out the house.” I admitted. He looked at me like I was hurting him. “Kenny.” He said. “I’ve been doing it for over a year Dylan.” I pointed out. “Are you going to be flexible?” he asked me. “Um?” I asked. “Would you give up 30 hours a week for me Kenny?” he asked me worried. “At least till you’ve left school?” he questioned me. “I can’t let you support me Dylan.” I said seriously. “Kenny you got much saved up?” he asked me. I nodded. “I haven’t spent more than necessary in the 2 years.” I admitted. “I have almost got enough for 4 years college.” I admitted. “Kenny talk to your boss but cut the Tuesday night shift at Walmart.” He told me. “Okay.” I said. “It won’t be this week.” I pointed out. “I know but Kenny you’re so exhausted you slept a whole day. You’re going to make yourself sick, you sleep through school rather than at night. I get it you needed to save to get away. But now you’re away. It even sounds like you got enough saved to rent your own place.” He said. Then he obviously thought. “It’s a good thing for me you’re not old enough.” He told me kissing my head. “You could get emancipated.” He said. I looked at him. “There’s little point I only got a month.” I pointed out. “No Kenny there is a point. It might be a month but you know what it will stop her being able to do anything.” He said. “Wont the papers get a hold of it?” I asked worried. “It should be private.” He said seriously. “Taking Jasmine to court won’t be quiet.” I mumbled. “Talk to your teacher tomorrow.” He said. “Why?” I asked confused. “Because Kenny I know she wants to help you. I saw it in her eyes every time she gave you a detention she wants to understand you.” He said. “I will think about it. Its only 3 weeks Dylan until my birthday.” I told him. “Can we see if we can just do the 3 weeks without anything?” I asked him. “What if she turns up at the school, by law she has custody of you Kenny.” He said. “Dylan she didn’t want me when I was in the house. Why would she want me now?” I said. “She’s the one who kicked me out, not even caring if I had anywhere to go.” I wanted him to understand. “I will listen to you and cut 30 hours so I only work 30 hours because you’re right I was making myself ill.” I told him. “Can we cope with that?” I asked worried. “Yeah we can.” He said weakly as if I was hurting him, I didn’t understand what had made him sad now. He looked at the time. “I know you’ve just woke up Kenny, but you’ve got school in the morning.” He said worried. “I will have a bath and go sleep.” I assured him kissing him. “I’ll wake you in the morning if you want?” he asked. “I would like that.” I told him. he still looked strange, I thought back over everything I had said, I had said can we cope with that, not can you, which I was tempted to say. Was it because I didn’t want to get emancipated when I only had 3 weeks anyway? Had I come across to bitchy? Bitchy had kept me from being hurt too much these few years. “I’m sorry Dylan.” I said after a few minutes of silence. Dylan looked at me like I had lost the plot. “What for?” He asked me confused. “Oh fuck Kenny, you don’t think.” He said he looked at me like he was word stuck he kissed me Deeping the kiss he slipped his tongue in my mouth. “Now you need to go in your bedroom.” He said breaking the kiss. “What did I say.” I started to ask what I said wrong, Jasmine was right I had crap social skills. “You didn’t say anything wrong Kenny, I’m just worried alright.” He said stroking my face. “Then why did you suddenly want me to go to the bedroom?” I asked him confused. He looked at me and looked slightly embarrassed. “Oh.” I said a slight smile going to the corner of my mouth. “Kenny you’re giving me a brilliant view of your boobs, you haven’t got a bra on.” He said looking me square in the face. “I’m saying we should go in different rooms before something more than kissing happens.” He told me. “Night Dylan.” I said jumping of the counter not sure if he could see the smile on my face to know I had that much power over him. “Night Kenny.” He said. “Kenny I know you won’t let me support you, but please let me do what a normal boyfriend would do.” He said. I looked at him. “Okay Dylan but you can’t support me.” I said calmly. “I’m not Cinderella I’m not going to let someone take care of me when I should do it myself.” I said. “No you’re not Cinderella Kenny.” He said. I went to leave. “Can I wake you with a kiss sleeping beauty?” he said as a joke as I was almost out the kitchen. I turned and stuck my tongue out at him. “Yes you can wake me with a kiss, fairy.” I told him still grinning at him. I looked back at Dylan suddenly realizing I needed to say something in my head. “Dylan after my 18th birthday if you want to.” I started. “Kenny.” Dylan said looking at me confused. “I mean if you want to go public with the relationship I.” I started. “You don’t want to?” he asked sounding slightly hurt. “Dylan I want to go public, I want everyone to know you’re off the market and your kisses give me butterflies and electric all over my skin.” I started. He looked at me like I was a bomb he was trying to defuse but the corners of his lips went up. “I would love every single person in the world to know you’re taken and your mine.” I said knowing I was blabbering on. He had seen me blabber more times than most people. “That you’re amazing to talk to, that you have a habit of seeing right through people’s bullshit, that you’re a fantastic cook. That you’re not just a closet geek but you’re a closet genius, that how you talk about star wars and Spiderman even physics.” I was saying Dylan crossed the room. “That your one of the nicest guys I have ever met and understanding. And patient and.” I said, he took my mouth prisoner I kissed him back. When he broke away and started kissing my neck I decided to carry on. “Did I mention a bloody good kisser.” I said. He chucked still kissing my neck. “Go to bed Kenny.” He told me his face still in my neck. “You kind of need to put my down for that Dylan.” I told him nuzzling my own face into his neck and taking a sniff. He chucked and put me down. He took my hand and took me up the stairs. I followed giggling I couldn’t help it. When we got outside my bedroom door he kissed me. “Goodnight Kenny. Go back to sleep, please.” He almost begged me. “Where are you going?” I asked him still giggling. “A cold shower.” He told me, “Rock star please.” He said, indicating he really wanted me to go then, I looked down and saw what he was struggling with currently. “Can you wait 3 weeks Dylan, because I don’t want anyone to ever be able to accuse you?” I started so worried. “Kenny.” He said. “Yeah?” I asked worried. “Sweetheart I would wait forever for you to be ready.” He told me kissing me. “Thankyou Dylan.” I said kissing him, “Do you really have butterflies?” he whispered in my ear. I giggled. “Is that all you heard in my speech?” I teased, “No I heard all of it.” He assured me. “When you’re ready I want to go public with you as well Kenny. I was thinking more when you left school, so you could do your graduation in peace.” He admitted. I kissed him. “I would like that Dylan.” I told him truthfully. “Although I know you have to talk Milo and your uncle first.” He said. “Even after I talk them, I want to try us.” I told him not sure if that was the right thing to say. “I want to try us too.” Dylan told me. “I’ll wake you in the morning, I wish I was going school with you.” He told me. “What made you choose my school anyway?” I asked Dylan, if he had chosen another school I would never have met him I realized. “My agent set it all up.” He admitted. “Remind me to really thank your agent.” I told him. “I’m thinking exactly that.” Dylan said. “Night Kenny, even though you’ve just woken.” He said. “Night Dylan.” I told him kissed him again then went in the room. I picked up my note book and added more to the song about Derek. It didn’t actually take that long to fall back to sleep, as if sleeping as long as I had, had made me tired go figure, I don’t think I had even put my notepad away.

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