Back To Square One

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Chapter 8

As I drove home that night I couldn’t get the story Mrs. Gillen told me out of my mind, and the look on Brandon’s face will most certainly haunt me for the rest of my life.

Not wanting to go home, I found myself driving out to the cemetery where my brother, dad and aunt were buried. Since being back I hadn’t been to see any of them, scared that I may run into my mom there. As I approached their graves I wanted to laugh at the craziness of my entire life.

My mom and dad started out by cheating on their respective partners, thus screwing up the heads of said partners, and ended up maybe destroying all their livesas well. (We will never know if Mr. and Mrs. Gillen got married because they loved each other and / or if it was due to the fact that she was pregnant with Brandon.) My dad then went on wrecking the lives of his entire family by cheating on my mom, but this time with her sister. This resulted in both my aunt’s death and my brother’s death, and later my dad’s as well, and my mom going to prison.

And now, here in the cemetery, my aunt was lying next to her lover / sister’s husband, who was lying next to his son, all of them dead because my dad couldn’t keep it in his pants and my mom couldn’t keep her anger at bay.

I think it is so ironic because she knew what type of man my dad was when she married him. I mean, they got together because they cheated on their partners. Why was my mom so surprised when my dad cheated again? She should have known it would happen eventually. With all that, and seeing the three graves next to each other, my anger flared up again atmy mom and dad. Picking up a stone, I threw it as hard as I could at my father’s grave. It smashed into tiny pieces as it connected with the headstone.

I found other stones and threw them again and again, causing huge damage to my dad’s headstone.

Finally spent, I walked over to my brother’s grave and collapsed next to it, crying and repeating,“I’m sorry, baby brother,” over and over again. As the tears subsided the anger came back, and as I couldn’t keep throwing stones at my dad’s grave no matter how much better it made me feel, I re-directed my anger and did the next best thing. Not giving it another thought, I ran back to my car and took off to go to give my mom a piece of my mind.


I pulled into the driveway of my mom’s lawyer’s house, jumped out of the car and slammed the door, then made my way up to the front door. Pounding on the door with myfist, not caring who I woke in the process, I kept banging until someone came. When the door finally opened, a very confused-looking young man in pyjamas was staring at me like I was a crazy person. Not caring who he was, I pushed past him into the house and started calling my mom.

“Mom! Mom! Mom, where are you?” My voiced echoed through the house. The guy who opened the door was clearly very confused and grabbed me,spinning me around to face him, and asked his own set of questions.

“Who the hell are you? And who are you looking for?” Not in the mood to be manhandled, I pulled my arm out of his hold and gave him an evil glare.

“You stay out of this. It has nothing to do with you. As soon as I have spoken to my mom I will be gone and you can go back to what you were doing.” I moved deeper into the housing calling for my mom again.

“Julien, where are you? I know you are here. Aunt Tamara told me you were living here about a million times before I came back. Stop being a coward and come and talk to me now!” By then I was screaming hysterically. The guy must have put two and two together as recognition dawned on his face and he called for his dad. I still had no clue who he was and I didn’t care. I only came to confront my mom and then I would be off again.

Finally my mom came downstairs, also dressed in her pyjamas, and I could see she was bewildered.

“Samantha, is that you? I didn’t know you were back!” A smile spread over her face and she came to me, pulling me into her arms. I pushed her away, not wanting her to touch me.

“Get off me,” I said through gritted teeth. Losing all sanity I started shouting at my mom. “How could you be such a hypocrite regarding dad and aunt Merrel? You behaved just like aunt Merrel when you were dating Brandon’s dad. How could you take the one person away from me that meant the world to me because you were angry with dad? Ricky was only 13 years old, mom.

“He didn’t deserve to die. He had his entire life in front of him and you robbed him of it because your sleazy husband couldn’t keep it in his pants. Not when he was dating Mrs. Gillen and not when aunt Merrel stayed with us.

My mom’s face registered shock as she pieced together what I was saying. Before either of us could say anything her lawyer, or new husband, or whoever he was, stepped in front of her.

“Now don’t you talk to your mother like that! You might be angry at her, but she is still your mother.”

“SHE IS NOTHING TOME!” I shouted at his face. Pushing past him I come face-to-face with my mom.

“I hope you are happy with your new, fake family. Because sooner or later you will ruin this one too and it will all be your fault again. You ruined Mr. and Mrs. Gillens’ lives, you ruined Ricky’s life, you ruined Brandon’s life and you ruined mine. You caused me so much pain and despair that I had to run away, I had to go on meds, I had to start my life all over again because you and dad ruined everything for everyone.”

Turning to her husband I looked him straight in the eyes. “Be careful, she will ruin both of you, too. If I were you, I would get out while you still can.”

And with that, I took off. As I reached the front door I heard my mom calling my name, and then I saw the guy who had opened the door coming around the corner with a very stunned expression on his face. Giving him one last look, I wished him good luck, slammed the door and ran to my car again.

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