Somewere to Turn Too
Chapter One: Somewhere to Turn Too.′
An endless sound seems to echo in my ears. Its nothing and yet its something. An Echo of my past life flitting by me on a funny little spree. Almost as if its dancing and telling me how much fun it had with me....
Now it was gone.
Leaving merely a Shell of who I used to be.′
Who am I?
I can no longer say I’m Haru Suzachi.
I won’t have that last name any longer.
I won’t be laughing at the humans. I won’t be picking the flowers and lounging back. Enjoying life to the fullest of what it comes.
That’s merely an echo that I fear I won’t soon forget. Get it out of my head. I want to scream at it all. All these lies.... all these misdeeds. Will SOMEONE justify me?. But who am I to ask for justice? I am merely a Yokai.
They say its always darkest before the dawn.
I think they just made that up to make people feel better.
All I see if darkness. All I can think of is darkness... lies. Deceit. And what I don’t know HOW to be. I don’t know HOW to be a father. I don’t know HOW to be a human. I don’t feel as though I belong here. So If I don’t belong in this world.... If I don’t belong in the spiritual world?
Where do I belong?
Its raining again.′
Pounding. His Head was Pounding. Why would it not be? His head was slapped, his hair was pulled. His face was bloodied. He was shocked... throw through the ringer as they say. And now here he was. Shaking.
Threatening to break even more than he already was.
He was broken.
There was nothing left.
He thought.. he had felt empty when he first came to this human world. But that wasn’t the case. Maybe he wasn’t empty. Maybe he was full of curiosity that he failed to admit he had?
But now... He had nothing to go back to. No mother to smile at. No home or room. No girls or expectations. Even his education seemed to be nothing but a failure at this time. All that learning just to learn it was never meant for you to begin with. He was never meant to wear the family crest. He was never meant to smile with his mother. All that time he thought he was loved by both of his parents.
But that wasn’t the case at all.′
One was smiling happily and wrapping her long arms around him one minute, And the other was smiling in contempt at him in the other. Why had he not seen it? Why had he not picked up on it? He felt.... stupid. He felt so stupid. He felt worthless. Like a throwaway. It almost made that fish kids old taunting all the worse. He had no one. He was no one.
So what was he?
Once they had made it through the portal once again. He screamed.... Screamed in agony from the pain of having everything ripped off of him again... And screamed from the moral shock of it all. He could barely stand.... it was like this the purification hurt even more. He felt as though he was welted and beat in all areas of his body.
He wondered if his father had it set up that way.′
He had winced... and tried to stand but it was no use. It had even seemed to wipe out Ruji’s energy.
How was he going to face this kid when this was all said and done? He felt his eyes dim.. his whimper filled the quiet air as Aoi had managed to stumble up from where she had fallen. She rushed over to his side. Her cold hands touched his sides.. touched his hands.
" Haru?” Her voice shook. Maybe it was his scream that scared her. Maybe it was because he was just as shocked as he was. Or maybe it was the pity. He hoped it wasn’t that. But at the time he felt so weighed down with the shock of it all that he didn’t care. Heck, A little child could pity him now.
It would make him angry.
But he could never deny it.′
His eyes were dim and almost blank. He felt so empty now.... as if someone ripped out his inside and told him to deal with it for the rest of his life. Who was Haru Suzachi? Was that even who he was? Or was he just... Haru now?
His eyes flittered to hers. His bangs hanging in his eyes. He quivered, the blood from his under his eye was now starting to sting his vision. His hands were sticky with the red substance. It marked the old shrine floor... His shirt probably had blood on it as well. His white hair maybe had it. Old, rounded tears formed in his eyes. He choked. His shoulders jerked.
And he couldn’t help but cringe from the pain.
Aoi’s eyes widened.
She had seen many faces of Haru. But this was one of them that she never wanted to see. Once she had exited out of the portal she saw Haru grovel down and then scream. Almost as if someone shot him, or worse. Then he went silent and she almost felt her heart stop.
Did all of this to him.′
H-How? She hadn’t known Haru for that long... She knew that much. But he laughed... He cried. He slowly opened up to her.... to everyone. And now here he was. In pain and choking from what his own FATHER did to him. Her hands clenched with anger... confusion. Hate.... But the most..?
Haru cringed out. Whining and trying to ply himself up. But his body was still reeling from the transportation. It was like the light had ripped through his body. Purifying everything that was bad. Why? Why couldn’t that blasted light purify his father? He guessed nothing was that simple.
It had a stupid sense of humor.′
He tried to get up... he tried to turn his red face away from her own. But she was shocked when Someone reached down, gripped Haru’s shoulder and helped the shaking teen to his feet. She looked up... Her eyes met Sugestu’s one.
He motioned to Ruji as Aoi wobbled to the child, picked him up and gulped. He was shaking as well. Tears in his little eyes... He looked at her.. and then buried his face into her blouse for good measure of not being seen. Not that Ruji even cared if someone cried.
But she didn’t know what was wrong yet. She didn’t know what Ruji and Haru had learned about each other.
Aoi gripped the child close and then kissed his little head. He nuzzled into her, Letting out a long-held shaky sigh. And then she looked at Sugestu.
She couldn’t tell if she should be mad or happy with him. He got Haru out of there.... He was trying to show Haru to his mother. But why not be truthful from the beginning instead of causing all of this doubt? Was it because of Sugestu that she had felt bad in the stomach or was it because something was telling her that something like this would happen?
Aoi furrowed her brow and bit her lip. She shivered and stepped forwards, catching herself from falling as well. Sugetsu seemed unaffected. But he helped Haru walk. She felt her heart nearly stop. Bood dripped down the cut below his eye and puddled under his white chin. Tears mixed in with it and for some reason, Haru couldn’t even stop them from coming.′
Or he just didn’t care who saw him anymore.′
She gripped the child tightly against her. Only to realize Sugestu was looking at her, waiting for directions of instruction. She used to say, ′ Curse her good-natured heart’ But at this moment... knowing these two. Seeing Haru’s blood, Seeing the tears that he had told her, ′ To not look at him.′ for.. flowing freely for all to see?
It made her stomach burn. Her throat went dry and she suddenly felt sickly. She wanted to go back and just lay it down with that man. She wanted to go and tell him to remove himself from his. JOB and go to hell where he belonged. But this wasn’t her battle. It was Haru and Ruji’s. And at this moment the only thing she could do was help.
She knew she was almost ready for them to leave.
But she also had to admit that her house would have lost its liveliness without them. It would have lost a lot of its light... She wanted her life to go back to being normal. But for some reason, there was always this little voice in the back of her head saying,
′ You know it will never be the way it was.′
Tears almost tended to prick at the end of her eyes, And as she felt the child nuzzle into her chest and choke.
She looked at Sugetsu and bit her lip. Almost drawing blood.′
" This way...′ She whispered, ” I..... Just this way.′ She whispered and looked at Sugestu. She looked at him in the most earnest of ways... She had ever shown to these group of teens. She wasn’t open with her emotions.
And she could have sworn she saw a flicker in Sugestu’s eye. His hand almost flinched.... His body almost stiffened, But the nod he gave her was full of determination. He had caused this to happen... Or at least happen sooner than intended. If anything this was the least he could do.′
And this was the least she could do.′
" They got away sir...′
Rui snarled his lips softly before bringing up one of his killer smiles. It mattered not. The little tramp was gone... need he say more? He was gone and out of his home... HIS Home. He smiled brightly at the thought of everything flourishing around him.
No more Yokai scum.′
Well, None that he had to call his own relatives at least.′
He dusted off his hands, almost as if getting rid of his son that he had claimed he loved. He turned and looked at the grave that was newly dug. Some flowers were placed on the headstone.. and a ghost of the smile met his lips.′
" It’s alright my love. I’m alright...′ he smiled blankly but then looked back at the guards. He smiled bitterly.. before then straightening his spine, removing his hand from his beloves tomb and then smirking darkly.′
" Get me Sugestu’s brother...′ he whispered but then smirked slowly, ” I have a task for him. A very important tast..′ he smirked and slid his fingers from his lips. He had some things to do.
Who said he NEEDED to do anything?
When Haru probably wouldn’t survive himself?
Herata sighed out and looked at the clean living room floor. He had finally finished getting all his dirty laundry that the kid borrowed and managed to clean it. Then he got the futon and cleaned that as well. It had come to his attention how much larger the living room now looked without the little bed in the corner.
He scrunched up his nose and shook his head before pulling out a smoke and lighting in his quick fashion. This stuff was starting to stress him out... But hey. There wasn’t much he could do about the kid and the smaller kid.
All he could do was allow his mind to keep going back to when Piko had stayed with them... and Had said something about Haru being unwanted. Unwanted? No one was unwanted truly. He breathed out his deep breath of smoke and then sighed out as he placed his lighter in his back pocket.′
But hey, Cheers to the kid for working out his family issues. He guessed this meant he wouldn’t be around Aoi anymore. He guessed that was a plus. The man sighed out and hummed it off before going into the kitchen to fix himself something to drink. Maybe have a quick swing when Aoi wasn’t home....
That was until the door opened.
Tea again he supposed.′
Herata flicked his smoke to the side before hearing a loud grunt and a pant. He arched his brow and looked up. His face was turned towards the yellowing tile of the kitchen.... Before he heard the door slam and a loud whine of what seemed to be pain. Herata swore he had never pivoted on his heel that fast before.′
He looked over...
Only to paled. Dropped the smoke into the awaiting ashtray and rushed over. Almost knocking over a few of the barstool chairs as he did. He ran over to Haru’s other side and caught him before the teen could hit the ground.
That’s when he noticed the red, sticky substance on the teens face.
It was starting to cake up.... It was sticky, and hardening by the second on his face. His white hair was dipped in it... his eyes...
The man suddenly bit his lip and sharply looked up.′
Fixed his family problems his ass!′
Herata balanced the teen with one leg and quickly kneeled down just to the right height before jerking up his head. His dark brown hair shifted into his eyes as he looked at Aoi. His eyes scanned her over. Not a scratch.... She was a bit dirty but he wouldn’t question it. If anything she was holding the child, who was also shaking and had a bruise sprouting on his arm.′
Their clothes were almost frayed which left him narrowing his eyes and then quickly looking at the unknown purple haired teen that was trying his best to support Haru on the other side. Of course.. it was no feat for Sugestu... But Herata didn’t know this much.′
The man quickly helped the teen.
Never in his life would he of thought when he first met Haru that this would happen... And he didn’t even know what to think about the situation. He WANTED answers. His eyes darted to Aoi’s and she quickly looked down. She was upset... her hands clenched. Some blond stood on her fingertips and he wondered if it was her blood or the broken boys he was holding.′
What had these kids gotten themselves into?
He quickly jerked his head up and jerked a finger to the kitchen, ” Let’s get him in there.′ he snarled. His eyes narrowing at each second. He wasn’t mad.. But he had to admit the amount of blood shocked him.... This was an Adrenaline shot if he ever asked for one.
He was getting too old for this.′
..... He was starting to sound like his old man.....
He needed some alcohol.′
Herata twitched and softly supported Haru as Sugetsu nodded. Herata only caught a moments glance.
Why the heck was this kid growing his hair longer on one side and what was with the purple? He shook it off and quickly pulled out a chair. Aoi wobbled in before Herata looked at her.
" Draw a bath for the kid. Get him cleaned.. then you hop in. We got this.′ he motioned to Haru before quickly turning to the sink, getting a rag and then wetting it with hot water.
He walked over in long strides to Haru as he was sat on one of the stools and then cooly pressed it under the teen’s eye. Haru cringed out, his breath sucked in telling Herata just how much it stung.′
" Ah...′ Haru whispered. His lips were parched and he flinched from the building of pain. He tried to move his head before Sugestu grabbed his shoulders from behind and held him still as Herata jerked Haru’s chin up and started on the wound. Haru choked out at the pain as Herata scrubbed down gently... taking the blood with the cloth and then holding the cloth to the cut as he worked on getting it fixed up.′
Haru tried to struggle, but after everything that had happened? He had no strength to even think of doing so... So he suddenly just let the man do whatever. Sugetsu’s hands slowly eased off of his shoulders and stayed close just in case.
The white-haired teen shivered and choked. Tears welled up in his eyes and burned the cut, soaking into the rag and adding salt to his wound, Literally. The man watched him and then pulled back the cloth. It was a bit rough.. before the man sighed and then applied more pressure under his eye and then making Sugetsu hold it.
He walked off.
And Haru started to wonder what he was doing here. He bit his lip and swallowed thickly. Blood.... he could almost TASTE his own blood. He clamped his eyes shut and bit his lower lip in agony. His ribs screamed from where his father had kicked him... his head was tender from being lifted up so he could do so.′
Everything was reeling given he had the truth shoved down his throat in a manner of seconds.′
Why was this happening? Was this a punishment for knocking up someone? Was this a punishment for all that he did? .. No.. It couldn’t be. He knew he hadn’t of been the best person.... But every time he thought back to just what happened.... depression filled him like a river.
Why was he here?
He was now in the human world. With HIS kid. He didn’t know the first thing about being a human! He didn’t know the first thing about losing everyone.... about losing his mother that he had loved more than his own life.... And now here he was. Sitting in Aoi’s house again. The one house he thought he would have been so happy to leave behind.′
He was here again.′
What was he doing here? What was he going to do? He didn’t know, HE DIDN’T KNOW! He felt lost.. Empty. Deceived. Broken!.He didn’t even know what else he was feeling... Now that he was in his human form it was coming out even more then he wanted it too. But maybe another reason for that was because he wasn’t fighting it again.
He wasn’t’ holding back and trying not to cry in the shower.
He wasn’t telling Aoi to look away as he sobbed to the fireworks...
He just couldn’t control anything anymore. He wanted to say Curse this human body. He wanted to say Curse the human’s way of life and their overwelling emotions, But he couldn’t. It was all he had left right now. It was all he was...
Haru shivered and bit his trembling bottom lip.
Why did you let this happen?
Why did you leave?
I need you... I’m still not ready for this world. I need you. Please.. Please. Come back from the dead, or something. Please.
If you had to die.
Why can’t I too?
Why did I have to learn the truth?
Why didn’t he just kill me?
Hot tears welled up in his eyes...
Before he felt Herata quickly grab the rag, wipe his tears and then softly put a face plaster on the cut. It was white and sticky so that it fit just right. But the weird gauze-like material rubbed on what was sore.. and it just reminded him of the slap.
He looked down and let his bangs hang in his eyes. Tears shivered through his body. But he tried to hide them as the man just stood there. Moments turned into minutes. Minutes turned into an hour and Aoi finally joined them.
" I laid him down....′ She whispered and glanced at her uncle. Haru ducked his head. He didn’t want to be here. staring down this man. This guy that he wanted to hurt so much...Was now helping him. The man that wanted him gone so badly was now dealing with things.. and because this man was an adult.. they had to tell him at least something.
Something to explain why he was covered in blood...
Sugetsu suddenly stood, dusted off his hands and then looked at Herata. He dipped his head and then breathed out softly.
" I should go... I’m not welcome here at the moment.′ he forced a gentle smile. One that could only fit his personality, he bowed once more... turned.. and left into the night. Great.... Now it was just Herata.... Haru and Aoi. Sitting there in the silence of things.
Herata finally interrupted by pulling over a chair, sitting on it backward and looking over Haru’s face again. He nodded and then looked at Aoi.
He didn’t want to force the kid to speak about anything. Just the look in the kid’s eyes told him that something pretty hard happened to him. He didn’t know much about Haru. He just knew that Aoi probably knew more then he did... He didn’t know about Haru and his many faces. He just knew that Haru had an attitude... But now seeing Haru like this.
Trembling. Clenching his pants in his hands and trying to catch his breath.
Something in him snapped... ever so gently.′
“.... Explain. Now.′ he looked at Aoi, then at Haru. Haru’s shoulders jerked, almost in a direct flinch. He didn’t flinch before when Herata had made his voice serious... HECK! He had slammed the kid against a wall and threatened him... And he didn’t flinch then.
What made this any different?
Then Aoi went silent... She looked down at her hands.. and then over at the teen that could barely breathe. That could barely think. She bit her lower lip. What could she do? What? At this point... she had a feeling she knew a lot about Haru. Maybe not everything, but at times she could tell changes in his mood.
Except for now.′
She looked at Herata. Who for once was waiting patiently. After all... He had a cut on his eye. He doubted he’d cry over it unless it was serious... So he leaned into the chair, folded his arms and nearly laid his head on them as he listened fully to what she had to say.
He knew something was up. He knew he was being lied too for a while now. He wasn’t stupid, just understanding. Plus Aoi basically paid the bills so he felt as though he had no say in a lot of the manners that went on. Not that he wasn’t a responsible man. He was everything but Irresponsible. That’s why Aoi was with him.
He tilted his head and looked at Haru. Before glancing at Aoi.
She was trying to figure out how to say everything going through her mind. She was trying her best to grasp what she should say. Should she say he was attacked again? Pfft.. Please? Another mugging? Plus that wouldn’t cover up why he wasn’t going back home and why she brought him back here.
She bit her lip and then opened her trembling lips.′
“He.... His father....′ She trailed off. Crap. it even SOUNDED like she was grasping at straws at this point. However, Herata suddenly looked at her sharply. His eyes narrowed softly and he glanced over at Haru as if trying to figure things out.′
" His father did this?” he tried to sum it up for her and she nodded slowly.′
" They.. got into a fight.′ She whispered gently and then glanced up at Herata ever so slightly, ” Haru... found out.... Um. His mum is dead. And His dad didn’t tell him.′ She whispered and trailed off as Herata suddenly sat back in the chair.
Haru flinched when he heard her say it out loud. It almost made it even more of a reality. He couldn’t hold her.. he couldn’t cuddle up with her and giggle anymore. He couldn’t see her smile and hear her encouraging words.
He was alone.
His hands twitched.′
Herata didn’t let this go unnoticed.′
Was it only him or did he really wanna stand up off this chair and go get the guy? He glanced at Haru and how his hands flinched and twitched with the slightest of sounds. He was shocked that this was the same. Confidence filled guy that left that night. He had even tried to joke around a bit.
And now look.′
He was shaking like a leaf in an autumn breeze.′
He clenched his slightly chiseled jaw and then watched as Aoi breathed out in a shaky manner.′
There was more.′
" Why did he do that?” Herata narrowed his eyes as if trying to wrap his mind around it all. He watched as Aoi slowly breathed out, Almost as if trying to say it and not upset Haru any further then he already was.′
" ...He wouldn’t tell Haru... Because.... the woman that Haru... knew as ... His mom?... Wasn’t..′ She gently glanced over at the boy. Who was suddenly getting tenser... And tenser.′
" ... Haru’s Adopted.′ She whispered, ” And... So is Ruji-′
" Ruji isn’t my brother.′ Haru snapped out. It landed in the air and caused a pregnant silence. Aoi, of course, knew this. But the force of his words told her there was more to the story then she really understood. She looked over at Haru shocked, and a question danced in her brown eyes.′
He swallowed dryly and then looked into his hands. Wishing they would swallow him up or maybe he could die before he let these people how he was. He wasn’t a gods child. He had a kid he felt too young for. He used to smoke, he would get so drunk he’d wake up beside someone new each night.
He was a freaking mess.′
Aoi knew this... Why did everyone have to thought? Why couldn’t he just go and die in his shame? He had nothing left BUT shame.′ It was almost as if everything he had done... everyone he had wronged...It was like something crawling over his skin and making him feel grungy to the touch.
Tears welled up in his eyes.. and he barely whispered his next words.′
“Ruji.... Is.. Mine..′ he whispered. The shame flooded his system. He had a kid. He was lied to all his life, his mother was dead.
What next could go wrong? What next? Nothing that’s what.
Because he had NOTHING at this point.
Herata, however, glanced at the boy, and then slowly arched a defined brow.′
" ... Ruji....-?”
" Is my kid okay!?” Haru snarled it out. MAN! Were all Humans deaf or just stupid!? He silently cursed and buried his face in his hands. Aoi watched him crumble more.. and more. His shoulders just slumped over this time as Herata watched him closely.
And then got up.′
So... This is what he got.′
Haru was Adopted but they never told him. Now that his mother was gone... the father, who obviously didn’t love Haru to begin with, Told him to get out.. and left a few ‘Pretty’ Marks on Haru farewell gifts. He glared slowly.′
He had a better word for a type of man like that... But Aoi would probably have scolded him for saying it out loud. He didn’t say anything about Ruji and Haru. Haru was what? Seventeen? Eighteen?.... Ruji was about three? He pinched his lips into a thin line...
Herata stood up and stuck his hands in his pockets. He looked at the teen, who coughed into his hands. Of course, Herata didn’t know it was because Haru got a foot to the ribs. The older man examined the kid.... And then dipped his own head.′
" Go take a shower...′
His words made Haru look up slowly. Aoi blinked in surprise as well.′
" ... W-wh- ′ Haru cracked as the man opened his eyes and met Haru’s ring ringed, puffy blue ones.′
" Take a shower. There’s a room that used to be Aoi’s. Lately, shes been staying in her mother’s old room.′ He glanced at Aoi who nodded slightly. it was a bigger room for Aoi anyway. It had a balcony on it and that was enough to let the girl relax in the mornings.′
" Its a smaller room... ” he began, ” But it looks like your in for the long haul.′ He whispered and then looked up, ” Its got pink walls.′ he hummed as if thinking it was kind of humor in a way,
" And if I’m going to be your guardian..... You gotta go to school.′ he glanced back at him. But then nodded softly.
" ... You and Ruji stay.′
‘I’m not letting anything happen to you two. Got that?’