The Art Of Pleasure

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5-Doing it the hard way

I was not your basic push over but I was stubborn as hell. I had happily paid all my dad’s debt in one swoop and he hadn’t stopped laughing since then. He laughed at the bank, at the house and everywhere in between. Surprisingly he wasn’t even mad or disappointed in my adult choices as a toy sex worker. Just happy to learn I wasn’t a stripper or porn star. He had even offered me the house right after spewing his mouth full of water all over his car when I explained why I had come into so much money. Apparently I was lucky yet my weeping oozing insides didn’t feel so lucky.

" Sometimes I dislike you Dad” I snapped playfully.

" Why?” he said between deep vibrating breaths that only agitated me more.

" Because most dad’s would be disappointed in my career choice. Yet here you are laughing and saying I’m lucky”.

" I never was the conventional parent and neither was your mom before you were born”.

My mom had been the Pinnacle of perfection down to her toes. Working for God, spreading the word and being a loving Christian. She saw no color, sexual orientation or dividers that many religious figures saw. She welcomed everyone in every walk of life to come to church and learn his word.

" Mom was a Sunday school teacher on the weekend and a kindergartner teacher on the weekdays. She loved GOD and was the Pinnacle of wise decision and Hallelujahs”.

Her dad was laughing again pressing the palms of his hands down his jeans. Happy she could be his new found humor.

" She found God after you were born my dear. The Only Hallelujah and Amen she was doing before that was in my bed. Your mother is alot like you, you know”.

" Ew dad, mom was an Angel”.

I was nothing like my mother. In fact this was the first time anyone had ever said that. I was the ocean and she was my world. My opposite but still my best friend.

" Your mother ran an escort business when I met her. I was the delivery guy to her warehouse “.

" Mom was a high end escort? I don’t believe that”.

" No, she was the brain and the books for her mother’s business. You know I asked her how much she cost and she said she wasn’t for sale but not in such nice words. That’s the minute I knew I had to have her as Mine”.

Now she believed that. The stories of Grandma Winafred were awful. She had good business sense but loved her whiskey and random men more. Always leaving my mom to run her business deals.

" How’d you get a date?“.

" I told her Grandpa needed someone to manage his books at Dunholds Delivery during the day. I also noticed she had a little boy she was looking after and I thought it was her Son. I offered to watch him at night for FREE so he wasn’t around the escorts”.

I knew who that boy was. That was my mother’s younger brother Danny. My mother raising the boy until he was eighteen while her own mother milked the Whiskey bottle until her death.

" Uncle Danny?“.

" Yes and from there it was history”.

" Awkward” I replied.

" Not as awkward as learning you get paid to ride plastic toys and then one of those toys tasered your insides. I’m going to call you crispy Bacon from now on”.

He could be so immature at times as I glared at him. Trying to resemble my Evil cat, his look had an effect on people I was lacking.

" Dad stop or I’m disowning you. What do you think I should do about this guy?” I asked as he pulled up in front of my white and gray condo style homes. People in jogging clothes as they hit the trails behind my home.

He looked deep in thought before he smiled. A chuckle leaving his mouth as grabbed my hand and held it.

" Lynn Thank you for helping me out and listen to me. I plan to repay every cent you gave me. My advice is this....You’re friends set you up. Why they did that, well I’m not sure probably because you’re a hermit. My advice relax a little. Eat some chocolate, have some wine, laugh a little because baby girl your smile is killer. Go with the flow. You meet the most interesting people when you’re having fun”.

What the hell was my dad babbling about. Was he smoking the reefer or just happy that I had paid his bills. In fact he was wearing a button down Hawaiian style shirt with shorts. Sunglasses perched oddly comfortable on his nose. He looked like your average stoner.

" Dad are you high?“.

Of course he ignored me.

" I can pick you up and drop you off at work all this week if you like. My work schedule and yours are opposite so it’s no problem”.

I had totally forgotten he had snatched my only means of transportation. My money all gone now so I wasn’t about to purchase a new one and I sure as hell wasn’t going to take Mr. Sauve Rico’s offer. He could kiss my overly round and plump ass. Although now to think of it he was probably an ass man and my ass had plump for days.

" No work is a few blocks away. My legs could use some stretching. Plus the person who bought the condo next door is having it remodeled. The noise is my new alarm clock so I have time to trot my butt to work”.

" Oh someone bought that trash can next door? The condos Mrs. Perriwinkle had her fifty seven rescue cats urinating all over”.

Mrs Periwinkle had ran a rescue out of her three condo spaces for years. In fact that was where I had gotten my precious Bubbles. The efforts to save the cat’s had started off with good intentions but as she got older things had gone south. The cats had been seized and three months later the sweet old lady had died alone. The smell of the cats had remained. Until it had been bought a year and a half later. The carpets being ripped out last week and the cement floors below being sprayed down with bleach, then soapy water before being left to air out.

" Yeah someone bought the three condo spaces a few months back. I haven’t met the owner but everything is being ripped out slowly. I’m guessing it is a flipper as they are joining the three spaces into one big house. I love you Dad but I’m starting to have some pains so I’m going to go take a pain pill and get some rest”.


So maybe walking to work wasn’t such a great idea in heels. It was just one amongst several other bright Ideas I had, had today. It was a whopping ninety degrees and I was sweating. I had made the stubborn decision to not wear my ice diaper pad to save face and further bulky embarrassment. The crackling and crinkling sound Everytime I moved was enough to have the whole office laughing. Then bright Ideas me decided to Shove an angry dry cotton tampon up my desert tavern against my doctor’s advice. My best friend and Nurse Julian telling me I should of listened to his eight years of nursing experience, that my cooter as he so elegantly put it wasnt ready. His snarky ass was right but right now I wasn’t going to admit it.

Yet here I was now limping to work despite their advice. It was too late to turn back now to remedy the situation as I refused to be late. I wasn’t letting my Boss have anything else over my head. The bitch ignoring me all weekend while her vagina got battered rammed by her husband’s horse cock in their red room of FREAKY. These people were testing me and all I wanted was to stop this burning sensation. Apparently I was on the road to healing, yet all I felt now was the need to scratch down there.

I watched as a boy at a bus stop used a hanger that was bent up to shove down the cast on his arm. Relief flooding his eyes as he scratched his itch. I would give anything to feel that relief and almost begged him to hand over his MAGICAL device when I realized the time. I had thirty seconds to get through my work doors. Thank goodness the bus stop was right in front of my job as I scrambled inside. Clocking in right before I headed straight for Raquel’s office door at the end of the long hallway. Disregarding the red band around her door and pushing it open.

I was going to give her a piece of mind as I stumbled in and the door closed behind me. Freezing as Raquel had her naked bottom half up on the desk. A thermometer stuck between her glistening and perfectly waxed folds as my eyes immediately looked away. Her husband sitting on the couch in only his black Clavin Klein underwear. Tattoos touched every inch of his chest and arms muscles. My boss didn’t seem as flustered as me as she shook her head pushing her black skirt back down. I had the need to say something in this situation.

" I’m so sorry Raquel”.

I wanted to scream at her to lock the door next time. I was at a loss for what I had even walked in on. Why she would have a thermometer in her vagina and her husband waiting patiently in his birthday suit. I grabbed for the door but my hands slipped off of it. My palms sweaty as I tried to escape this situation in haste only to fail again and again. Raquel laughing as she was getting redressed too calmly for my nervous nature. I was the awkward person who told the waitress to enjoy her meal too.

" Lynn I didn’t call you back this weekend because we are trying to get pregnant. I’m taking my temperature to see how fertile I am”.

" Well it’s alright. We can finish this discussion after baby making. I’ll give you all a few minutes”.

The man laughing on the couch as she kept her eyes to the door as hands kept slipping from the handle.

" Baby I’m going to need at least a half an hour on my worse day. You know it runs in the family”.

Well there went her nerves as they steeled. Turning this awkward woman to Petty in two point five seconds.

" Oh please as if you know your brother’s stroke game personally. If you did then I know I should be worried. Let me guess, penis piercings also run in the family? You two are so full of Shit. You’re lucky I’m nice and need this job”.

Raquel always was in control of her temper.

" Come on Lynn don’t be angry with us. We just wanted you to spread your wings and Jenner is a good guy. A bit cocky but good hearted. You have to admit He’s sexy too”.

Uh oh when it rained Petty and rage it poured. The bitch inside me snapping back real quick.

" Listen to you Raquel. Did you take your medicine today because you sound a bit delusional? I don’t care if he looks like he stepped off the Runway in New York before being in a motorcycle gang hot. I’m beyond being shallow, yes he’s hot but I want more. Hot men usually have bad attitudes and use all the pussy they hit for bragging rights”.

Of course Mr save a wife and brother had been a bit offended. Standing as if his feathers had been ruffled a little.
A low whistle leaving his lips as he laughed.

" Damn Lynn calm down. We wouldn’t throw you some build a hoe workshop. Look at your ass sounding like The Little mermaid...I want more. You sound judgemental and that doesn’t look good on you. No offense Doll but there is nothing to brag about with the state your cake is in. What can he brag about, oh look I hit a Dutch oven and smoke came out”.

I was raging now but Raquel had handled the situation hitting her husband upside his roughly hot face. He was a viking descendant if I have ever saw one. Of course I watched too much Netflix and television in general.

" You better stop it Daniel she’s our friend. I know you feel like you have to defend us but she’s right we crossed a line....Gosh Lynn I’m sorry. Believe me though Jenner is a good guy”.

That was really all I wanted to hear. Although I wanted to hear it from both of them Daniel was one hard skinned jerk at times. We could all have this discussion later but for now I was calm enough to file paperwork.

" That’s all I wanted to hear for now. Raquel we can discuss this later on. You still have alot of explaining to do” I said with a smile before turning to her husband. “Oh and Daniel you can promptly fuck yourself with a toaster”.

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