I'm Here to Fix You

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Chapter 18


“Jake, I presume.” He hissed trough gritted teeth, jealousy written all over his face. Yeah, finding a half naked guy at your ex’s place can’t be that nice, can it?

I’ll admit I was ready to give him a piece of my mind if the breakup was caused by what I think, but before I could, Silvia prevented me, breathing out from behind me: “Rye ... what ... what are you doing here?”

“Being stupid, I guess.” He snorted, then did the most surprising thing ... he turned on his heels and stormed off.

Seriously? Not even a teeny-weeny punch? A slap? Kneeing me in the balls? Come on, I’m right here, I’m half naked and your ex just got out of the shower, it’s early morning ... don’t you feel the slightest need to readjust my face a little? I would. Hell, if I were him I’d have already gone batshit crazy, even though I’m not exactly a jealous type.

Silvia pushed past me, only a long white towel on, calling for him, seemingly a little too desperate for my liking. Since when is she so weak? The woman I fell in love with would have slammed the door against the cheating ass’ face. Jesus, feelings really do fuck you up.

I shouldn’t have, but I stood by the door and listened in when she stopped him from stepping on the elevator. I’m a bit of a masochist, but I think you already knew that.

So, it started with her: “I know what you’re thinking, Rye, but get it out of your head. Nothing happened.”

And he gave out an Oscar-worthy snort: “Seriously? He’s naked!”

“Well, technically only half naked.” I butted in, raising my hands in surrender when Silvia turned around to incinerate me with her gaze.

Yep, definitely a scary wife to have. Shit, I want her either way, just how crazy I must be? And why the fuck do I keep saying wife and not just girlfriend?

Damnit, feelings don’t just fuck you up. Feelings, love especially, burn your every reasoning cell apparently. I mean, wife? Seriously? Me? I could barely be a boyfriend, imagine a husband.

Anyways, back to the scene I was masochistically witnessing. She rubbed his arm, and maybe I felt like sawing it away, but that’s not the point. So, she rubbed his arm, giving him a sad, hurt look I didn’t like one bit. “I’ll explain everything later, just ... tell me, why are you here?”

He eyed me, but probably knowing I wouldn’t go anywhere even if asked, he turned back to her. “Why, do you think? You dumped me.”

“I didn’t.”

“Sil, you broke up with me out of the blue! Without even giving me a reason!”

Oh, so that’s what happened. Not sure that’s good or bad. Then again, why the hell do I even care? It’s not like ... well, whatever, you know how it is. Blah, blah, blah, impossible, blah, blah, love is shit, blah, blah.

“I told you why, I told you-” There she goes, turning back to me. “Jake, this is a private conversation, for God’s sakes!”

“Since you’re having it beside the elevator, no, it’s not.” I argued.

Silvia rolled her eyes. “I swear, you can be so childish sometimes ... just ... get back inside or something.”

Sigh. “Fine, fine. I’ll go back ...” I bit my lip seductively. “Maybe once you’re done with Sir Douche we can start over where we left off ...” I winked, knowing full well she’ll kill me.

I just love pissing off people, and Chicago guy there seemed to be a perfect guinea pig. I wanted to see just how long would it take him to drop off his white horse to just be a common man and come face me.

Yet no. He looked definitely, definitely pissed, scratch that, he looked like he wanted to kill me right then and there, but he didn’t move one single muscle. That’s no fun, though. Come on ... I won’t even dodge the punch, I swear.

Sadly, I had to get back inside, but nobody forbid me to listening anyways. Again, yes, I’m one hell of a masochist. You know it, I know it, my therapist knew it, so let’s just ignore the fact that I handpick all the A-class scenarios that serve to rip my heart to pieces and focus on their conversation, shall we?



When I heard the door close, I sighed, rubbing my temples. “Rye, why are you here? I told you last night, it’s ... it’s always going to be complicated between us. Too complicated. So let’s just-”

“Give up? Yeah, you seem particularly well versed in that.” He spat.

“Rye ...”

“You told me, remember? You told me none of your relationships ever worked exactly for that reason. Sooner or later you always bail out. I guess I was stupid for thinking you wouldn’t do the same with me.” Ryan dropped against the wall, arms crossed.

I suppose he’s right. My relationships have never worked because voluntarily or not always put an expiration date to them. I’ve never gone past the first two weeks. Never. Except with Alex back in the day, but you know how that ended. Alex was my longest term relationship, but it was between kids, something really easy, I mean, I liked him, but there were no touchy feelys nor real feelings. With Ryan it’s lasted a half of the time than with Alex, yet it’s ... it’s so much more powerful.

“You were about to leave me, so I guess I just did the both of us a favor.” I grumbled, mimicking his stance by crossing my arms, only now realizing I was only wearing a towel. Somehow I didn’t feel awkward. Ryan’s never seen me naked, but I wasn’t embarrassed. I wonder ...

He arched an eyebrow at me, as if confused. “Is that ... is that why you dumped me?”

“Rye ... I told you, I-”

“Silvia, there’s a thing called thinking! You of all people should know. I was doing just that! Thinking! You didn’t even give me time to process everything!”

“No, I could see it on your face, you-”

“Can you read minds? No. Then you could not know what was I going to say. You just assumed. You always do.”

I furrowed my brows. “That’s not true.”

“Oh, please.” He scoffed. I’ve never seen him so angry, I gotta admit. And in the end he’s right ... I was ruthless with him, wasn’t I? “The first thing you assumed when I told you my boss is a woman and that I had to work through weekends for a couple of months was, guess what? That I was sleeping with her. Your first assumption when I told you that I spent three hours with Alicia was, guess what? That I had sex with her. You always, always assume, Silvia. That’s what makes me so mad. You just don’t trust me, but I’m supposed to trust you blindly when you say your ‘friend’ Jake is just a friend, yet surprise, surprise, he’s naked in your apartment right after we broke up!”

He blurted all of that out in one breath, so fast that I could barely catch everything, so angrily that it made me realize just how awful I’ve been with him. Not that I hadn’t acknowledged that before, eh. My mind’s been chanting nothing but ‘you’re a ruthless, heartless bitch’ ever since I broke up with him last night.

“Nothing happened between Jake and I.” I repeated, omitting the very simple fact that I have no idea Jake was at my place until I found him in my bed ... maybe I better never speak of the bed part of the story at all. I will have a chat with that jerk about boundaries, though.

“And I’m supposed to believe that?” Ryan scoffed.

“Yes, because it’s the truth.”

“So I’m supposed to believe you when you say you didn’t sleep with Jake even though I found him half naked in your apartment.” He spat. “Yet you don’t believe me when I say nothing happened between Alicia and I.”

I’m a hypocrite, baby. “Well, it’s ... different.” Know this about me, I have ... huge troubles in admitting I’m wrong. I’m the most controlled person you’ll meet, but when I get mad, I get real mad, so it’s hard to step back from that. After the fit I threw about the whole Alicia business, how can I withdraw everything?


“Well, for starters, she’s your long term ex ... you’ve been together 5 years. Jake and I have known each other for barely seven months, something like that.”

“He’s into you, though. That’s enough to doubt according to your criteria.”

I arched an eyebrow at him. “He’s not ...” He is, damnit, he is. I know that all too well, but should Ryan know? As a boyfriend, it would make him really antsy, but as ex, it shouldn’t really bother him, should it?

I mean, I don’t think there’s a man on Earth that wouldn’t feel threatened if Jake Watson showed interest in his girlfriend or wife, but Ryan and I broke up, so ... it’s not exactly his business whether I get into bed with Jake or not.

Which I won’t, you better get it in your head, you people. I moved on from the ... gosh, I can’t resist him phase. Now it’s just ... we’re friends, and I feel kinda awkward because I can’t exactly ignore the fact that, apparently, he has feelings for me. But that’s it. Jake is in my friendzone, sorry.

“Be honest with me, Silvia. I deserve at least that.” Ryan spat. Wow, he’s really mad ... and with every right, given what I did to him last night.

I sighed, better adjusting my towel to cover my nudities. “Can we talk about this inside? And when I’m ... I don’t know, decent, maybe?”

“You’re ignoring the question.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m simply saying I’m naked beneath this towel and ... it’s getting embarrassing.”

Ryan’s eyes raked over my frame, as if he realized for the first time I was actually wearing only a towel. His shoulders deflated, his gaze went from fully angry to somewhat embarrassed, I’d dare say he blushed a little bit too, but he covered it up easily by clearing his throat. “It’s not like I asked you to chase me ...”

I barely retained the smile. If I ignore the whole breakup and misunderstandings drama, I can focus on the fact that my ex looks even cuter when his cheeks are beet red. “I did because I didn’t want you to leave so angry.” I replied smoothly.

“But you do want me to leave, don’t you?” There it is. The pain latched in his voice, and my mind restarts chanting ‘you’re a bitch, a ruthless, heartless bitch ... you’re a bitch, a bitch, a bitch ...’

“Rye ...”

“Silvia, just say it. Just tell me, was I stupid to come over today? Was I stupid to think I could convince you to change your mind about us?” He sighed. “Was I stupid to believe your lapse last night meant something?”

I closed my eyes. I wanted to lull myself in the absurd belief he hadn’t actually caught it, but of course he has ... “I-uh ...” I didn’t mean what you think you heard? Come on, say it. It’s a white lie. Just how bad can it hurt?

I yelped when Ryan gripped my shoulders and pulled me into him. I lost my towel in the process, but, like the gentleman he is, not only he didn’t peek, but he swiftly covered me with his jacket. Good thing I’d at least put my panties on before rushing out of the bathroom at the sound of his voice.

“Rye ...” I murmured, unsure. I know I blushed, no need to ask, people. Of course I freaking blushed, I was in the corridor wrapped up in my ex’s leather jacket, which covered only up to my navel, and he had me squeezed against him, how couldn’t I blush. And my hormones chose the worst timing to do the lambada, damnit.

His heavy breathing tickled my ear when he glued our bodies, but it wasn’t a half as bad as when I felt shivers down my spine as his soft murmur resonated through my ribcage more than just through my eardrums. “Tell me I didn’t hear it wrong, Silvia. Tell me you love me and you’ll give me a chance, because I do love you, babe. Hell, I do.”

Oh, shit.



Would it be considered childish if I accidentally threw the two male t-shirts I found in Silvia’s wardrobe and lit them up?

Speaking theoretically, of course. I’m no arsonist. Although I did burn down my room once, but that’s a whole different story. So, would it count as childish act of a poor jealous idiot if I kinda burned my rival’s t-shirts?

On second thought, I don’t think Silvia would like to see firefighters rushing in her apartment due to me. Mmh. You guys don’t happen to have a spare shirt, right? I really could use one. I mean, I know you love this sight, but haven’t you fainted yet? I can always help with that ...

When I heard a deep sigh coming from the entrance, I closed the wardrobe. Shhh, she better not hear us. We can start over later.

“Jake?” Silvia called. Weird, she didn’t sound mad.

“Over here!” Shit, why did I give her a location?

Ah, right, I’m supposed to be a ballsy man. True that. Thanks for reminding me. Ugh, love is seriously fucking me up, which is all saying, given I’m already as fucked up as fuck.

Yes, yes, I curse too much, I know. Silvia says the same. Whatever. She’ll have to at least marry me if she wants to correct my bad habits.

Shit. I’m blaming this on the hangover, definitely. I can’t have said wife thrice within 24 hours. What the hell is wrong with me? Well, lots of things are wrong with me, but what in this particular case?

“Jake.” Silvia half hissed as she entered the bedroom, still wearing her long towel.

“Yeah, baby?” I half grinned. Ryan wasn’t hot on her tow, so I’m gonna guess uh ... she ditched him? I couldn’t hear much with the closed door so I got bored and moved on. It was easier to think of finding a shirt other than of the chance I might be being a third wheel here.

Silvia glared at me, crossing her arms, and I bit my lips as her boobs popped up. Oh, sweet joy, just how heavenly would it be to drown in those? A man could die happily like that. Mmh. I’ll have to think about that. If I’ll ever take a trip on the road to Hell, I might as well get a piece of Heaven in the meantime, right?

Relax ... I’m not planning on killing myself. At least not today. Chill.

“What were you doing in my bed?” She spat, as angry as I thought she’d be, but slightly calmer than earlier.

“Oh, come on, we’re still on that? Told you, I slept.” I think ... “Tess sent me.”

“Tess sent you to sneak into my bed and sleep naked beside me?!” She hissed. Oh, there you are, the fury I expected. “Do you have an idea just how inappropriate and wrong that is? You violated my privacy!”

“Ugh, as if I did anything bad.”

“You sneaked into my bed without me knowing! That’s called sexual harassment!”

“Hey, I didn’t even touch you, alright? I just slept.” Hell, I’d remember it if I touched anything of her, I can assure you ... the moments I’ve had her in my arms are so clearly stuck in my head that I won’t be able to forget them even while I serve my punishment in Hell.

Silvia shot daggers at me. “You are unbelievable.” She spat.

I sat at the edge of her bed with a sigh. “Yeah, yeah, whatever ... so, did Chicago guy leave?”

She blanched. Huh. Bad, bad sign. “That’s ...” she groaned, turning away. “That’s not the point. I ... ugh, just leave.”

“I take it as he did?” I didn’t sound hopeful, did I?

Silvia stomped her feet, as if to repress an answer, and headed to her wardrobe. “You know what, stay, I don’t care.”

“What?” Did she just offer me a free striptease? I mean, I wouldn’t mind.

She opened the wardrobe and browsed it for clothes. She took out pants and a shirt, I think ... hell, I don’t know, she could have taken out Merlin’s robe, I wouldn’t have noticed. I was too damn mind-boggled to mind. I mean, I was there while she was about to- “FUCK!”

She took off the towel. She actually slipped it off, right in front of me. Man, I think I’m gonna faint. I’ve never felt this excited about seeing a woman naked. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me lately?

Silvia turned around without covering herself, and I think it’s a good thing I was sitting, because my head was seriously spinning too fast for me to keep it. “What ... you ... Silvia ... I ... what ...”

She came to straddle me. She actually did. Please, don’t pinch me if this is a dream. “What? Isn’t this what you’ve wanted all along?” She wondered, biting my lip as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. Needless to say my boner was already out of control.

“Ye-I ... no ... well, yeah, I mean ...” I rambled. I fucking rambled. When do I ever ramble?

Silvia chuckled, trailing kisses and bites along my jaw as she grinded against me, causing the friction to kill my remaining reasoning cells. “You want me, right? I’m here. Take me.”

“Silvia ...”

She pushed me down, so I lay, and she followed me. The contact of my bare chest with her bare breasts was mind-boggling. Jesus, I think I’ve never been this much close to exploding. But I guess it figures, she’s been giving me blue balls for months, and now ...

“Silvia, I ...” Don’t do it. Don’t do it. She’s a virgin for fuck’s sakes, she can’t really want this.

She did unbuckle my jeans, though. “Come on, Jake ... you’ve been offering since I met you. I’m only taking up on your offer.”

“I ...” I’m dead. I’m dead and this is a weird ass Paradise. I don’t see any other explanation as to why would she behave like this. “Silvia-ahhh-huh-shit ...”

I’m supposed to be a gentleman so I can’t say what she did-ok, hell, no, I’m too fucking mind-blown to explain, just guess. “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck ... Silvia ... shit!”

She laughed. “Wow, I didn’t know you were this sensitive ...” She moved her hand up and down, those measured movements that were killing me in so many different ways, you have no idea. This must be a dream. I’m dreaming. I’m definitely dreaming.

“What ... ohhh, fuck ...” I dropped my head back, rolling my eyes to the back of my head. “Shit! You’re ... fuck! I didn’t know virgins could blow this good!” Oh, Jesus Fucking Christ, I think I’m dying. Can you die of a mind-boggling blowjob?

Silvia laughed, but it was a distant sound in my head. I was in Heaven, a place I never thought I’d see, not alive neither dead. She sucked and sucked, harder and deeper, while helping herself with her hand. Even the sounds she made as her mouth swallowed me almost whole were mind-boggling, I swear.

“Sil ... via ... oh ... shit.” Why was I even fighting it? It was pure, pure, ecstasy. I’ve never once given up control so gladly with a woman.

It didn’t take much. And it’s odd, because I’ve never been much fast in that. Yet she pushed me over the edge in a matter of minutes. “Silvia ...” I wheezed, still unable to believe she would do something like that.

“Mmh ...” She hummed, speaking with her mouth still ... really, I can’t give all the details, I wanna be as much of a gentleman as possible, just guess it. “Don’t worry. It’s not the first time. Shoot all you have, baby.”

Baby? Baby? Since when does she call me baby? This must certainly be a goddamn dream, it can’t be happening, I ... “Oh, sweet joy, I think I’m gonna come right fucking now.”

She laughed. She fucking laughed, the little vixen. “Then do. I’m waiting.”

“Silvia ...”

“Don’t worry, my throat can take it all.”

What. The. Fuck. What the hell is going on with her? In her right mind she’d never do this, and I ... shit. I can’t think while she’s literally blowing my mind away.

I groaned when I felt myself close, and while even my butt cheeks clenched, I released everything as fast as never I have. I think she just swallowed every single drop of my cum from today until Tuesday. I should have known she would be like no other girl I’ve had.

When she was done, Silvia sat up, her eyes reverberating her amusement, my eyes fixated on the white liquid still hanging off her mouth. I mean, she’s done this and more in my dreams, but reality? It’s impossible.

“You taste really good, I’ll give you that.” She claimed.

“Gee, thanks.” I wheezed, trying hard to regain my senses. “You just ...”

"That was sexual harassment, wasn’t it?”


“Well, I just tackled you and ... never mind.” She place her hands over my chest as she bend down, enough for her face to be only a couple of inches away from mine. “So, how long is it gonna take you to be ready again?”

“Huh?” I do know other words. I just couldn’t think of any right now.

“You got your mind, shouldn’t I get mine?” Silvia mentioned. I could hardly recognize her.

“You mean ...”

She laughed wholeheartedly. “Wow, I really just blew you away, huh?”

“Hell, yeah.” I grinned.

She grinned. I grinned. She neared my lips, yet moved back, half closing her eyes. In her words I finally recognized the Silvia I know: “You said sex is a good palliative.” She murmured. “Then be my pain killer, Jake.”

Huh. I never saw that one coming. Not exactly the romantic scene I had in mind, but ... beggars can’t be choosers, right?

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