I'm Here to Fix You

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Chapter 59



“She’s pregnant!” I tried to stand, but barely could, and not only because my bones felt broken for real, but mostly because I’d been tied to the cage for some reason, like a wild animal they ought to beware of. “She’s fucking pregnant, you bastard!” I shouted at the men that were circling Silvia, waiting to pounce on her, while the crowd cheered for them. None of the spectators rooted for her, yet she didn’t seem intimidated. I thrashed, despite all the pain, tugging at the chains, but I was too weak to do anything. “Ugh, wait till I stand up, you piece of shit! I’ll teach you to take it against a pregnant woman!”

“Will you shut the fuck up, Jake?! I’m trying to concentrate here!” Silvia snapped at me, louder than the crowd, or so it seemed to me. There was a fire in her hazel eyes, a fire I think I’ve only ever seen that day when she caught me with Olivia.

“You can’t fight, you’re-”

“Not anymore.” She eyed the bearded burly man behind her, to be sure he wouldn’t attack her at the unexpected, while the other seemed to want to watch first. In other circumstances I’d laugh, because they underestimated her, but right now it was luck that they didn’t think she would be able to fight back, at least they might go a little gentler ... I hope. “I’ll explain once we’re out of here. Now just shut up and let me fix the mess you put us in.” She turned back to the man, and made a show of cracking her knuckles. “Now, should we get started?”

I stared at her, dumbfounded. What the fuck happened? How long was I unconscious? Last I saw her the belly bump was fucking clear. Now ... I stared at her stomach when she backed up against the cage to dodge an uppercut. There was no belly bump. None at all. Did she ... did she lose the baby?

Silvia skillfully dodged another blow, and managed to assess a powerful jab in the meantime, one that had her opponent stagger back. A 6′8″ man that was even bigger than I, she managed to have him stagger back, clearly affected. Weren’t we stuck in this fucked up predicament I put us into, I would even be proud of her. The other man looked impressed, while the crowd awed.

Silvia smirked, confident, as she gestured for her opponent to come at her. He charged at her, which was a mistake, because that way she could step aside at the very last moment, causing him to crash against the cage, giving her the chance to get a hold of his arm, twisting it behind his back, and to leverage on his knee from the back to have him fall. Man, was she great. I knew she could kick ass, but I didn’t have the slightest clue she could be this good.

Her opponent had no chance. He may have been big, but he was too slow for her, and too angry to understand that he should think his moves carefully. Sure, he did get a few punches in, but mostly it was her to attack. The crowd was overjoyed, the sums betted were higher than the ceiling, and when, finally, she managed to get the man to surrender, everybody burst into deafening cheers. Hadn’t we been in a fucked up predicament like this, it’d have seemed Silvia was a UFC champion or something of the sort.

The other guy was more difficult. He didn’t surrender as easily, and he retaliated more than his pal, but in the end, Silvia won over him as well. I swear, I’ve never been so proud of her and at the same time aroused, for how sick that may sound. That doesn’t change the fact that my (ex) girlfriend was fighting for me, for us, to save us from the mess I put myself and her into. I always knew that, by staying by my side, Silvia’s lifework would be to save my ass. I just never knew it would be literal.


“They’ll let us go if I win 27 matches.” Silvia wheezed as she collapsed against the wall beside me once the gorilla that brought us into this shithole left. I’d have fought back as they dragged us from the cage to this dark and narrow room, but I was too weak and too wounded, and the guns pointed at our backs didn’t give us much of a choice. I mean I wouldn’t have cared if they shot me, but Silvia ... it’s already enough that I fucked up her existence like this, the least I can is do my best not to let her get shot.

“27 matches?”

“27, yes.” She inhaled deeply. “I’ve won 19 times, so we’re almost there.”


“It was the price Mr. Sokolov fixed to save your life.”

“What?!” I shot up, having not seen that one coming, my ribs hurting in the process.

Silvia sighed, closing her eyes, clearly exhausted. “You went nearly there, Jake.” She clenched her jaw and fists, angry. “How was it, as long as you breathe, I breathe. didn’t you say that?” She scoffed. “Then why the hell did you get into this mess?” She snapped her eyes open, turning to me, to show me once again the fire in those hazels, the same fire I’d witnessed throughout her matches. “You said there wouldn’t be a next time, because I couldn’t handle it. You said you wouldn’t get into life danger again, that you wouldn’t do this to me.” She spat, contempt in her tone as well as anger. “How many lies does that mouth of yours spit, Jake. How many fucking lies. And I’m stupid for believing in you.”

I closed my eyes, dropping back against the wall. “I’m sorry.” It was all I could say.

“Oh, you’re sorry.” She barked sarcastically. “Wow, thanks, now I feel much better!”

“Silvia ...” I reached out for her hand, but in response she slipped farther away from me. At least they didn’t cuff us to the wall or something, it’s a good sign, I suppose. But I don’t hold many hopes. Sokolov may have said he’ll let us go, but he won’t. Especially not if he finds out who I am.

“Ugh, don’t even start.” She braced herself, turning to the other side. “You’re nothing but a liar. You’ve spent months sweet-talking into my ears, making believe you actually meant anything of what you said. Bravo, Jake, bravo.” She clapped her hands. “You’re one hell of a pretender, I must say.”

“I never pretended, I-”

“You’ve lied to me.” Silvia spat, her voice somewhat breaking, yet she did turn to stare straight into my eyes, her fiery arrows pointing straight to my heart. They say you’re never as vulnerable as when you love. I say when you love as much as I, you’re not just vulnerable, you’re too easy for her to destroy. “You’ve lied to me over and over and over again.”

“No, I-”

“You said you’d do your best not to hurt me, yet surprise, surprise, you did. You said Olivia was your past, yet the moment she throws herself into your arms, you gladly welcome her. You said you wouldn’t put yourself in life danger anymore, for my sake other than yours, yet here I find you, fighting, or rather, not fighting a death battle or whatever they call it.” She growled. “Lies, lies, lies. So many lies.”

“Baby, I-”

“But you know what, I don’t blame you. I blame myself. I was too blinded to see it. I thought it was worth it, but was it really? Being with you has cost me much more than I could give, yet how do you repay me?”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you! I didn’t mean to sleep with Olivia, in fact I didn’t! And this ... all this shit, it wasn’t meant to hurt you, it was meant to hurt me!” I didn’t want to cleanse my conscience, if anything, I sought the punishment I’ve always deserved. For all that I’ve done in my life, for hurting the one person I swore to protect and cherish, for being an impenitent screw-up.

“Then you’re a moron more than just a liar and a cheater.” Silvia scoffed, once again averting her gaze from me. “You keep saying us, yet you still thinks in terms of I.” She spat. “You keep forgetting your impact on people’s lives.”

“No, I-”

“Did it ever occur to you that, if you got killed, it would have hurt me worse?” She snapped back to me, her eyes mere slits, even though tears were vivid in them. “Did it ever occur to you that your life is not just yours? That you have people around you, people that would be shattered upon losing you? Good God, Jake, hasn’t that fucking accident taught you anything?!”

“Well, Serene would have been fine. She’d have had Colin to take care of her. And as for you, you said I was dead to you, so I might as well be it literally.”

“Oh, sure, it’s my fault now!” She groaned. “Grow the fuck up, Jake! If I broke your heart, it was only because you’d broken mine.”

“Oh, but you had Saint Ryan there to mend yours, didn’t you?”

“What?” She furrowed her brows.

“Don’t think I didn’t see the picture. “You two, sweet lovebirds rekindling your relationship. How adorable.” I scoffed, turning to the other side. One would think, we’d find anything else to argue about when locked in a basement somewhere in the worst side of Boston while we wait for ruthless criminal to come either take us to have their fun, or just kill us and get it over with. Yet no, we fight over our breakup and our exes.

“What picture?” Silvia questioned, taken aback. “You know what, never mind. This just goes to prove your uncle is right, you’re a self centered immature brat.”

“Oh, really? You run back to your ex a moment after we break up, yet I am immature?”

Silvia rolled her eyes. “I didn’t run back to Ryan. I’m not you. I don’t use people for my own purposes.”

“When did I ever-”

“Olivia.” She spat. “You used her. Over and over again, now I realize.”


“First you used her to get away from us after the fight with Colin. Then you used her to forget me. And finally, you used her to get back at me.”

“No, I-”

“It took me a while to realize it. But now I see it.” She gazed at me, nothing but disappointment and contempt in her gaze. “You saw me having lunch with Ryan. You saw me smiling and laughing and having a good time with my ex. Any grown man would have talked things out, but not you. Being the self centered spoiled brat you are, you simply chose to get back at me. And what better than to have me find you with your ex on the couch we bought together?”

I frowned. What the hell is she talking about? “You seriously think I’d stoop so low?”

She laughed, loudly and cynically. “Coming from the guy that’s done nothing but lie to me, that’s a funny statement.”

“I haven’t lied to you, I-”

“Shall I repeat what you said?”

I sighed, frustrated and exhausted. “Ok. I didn’t lie. I simply ... didn’t keep my promise.”

“Oh, really?” She scoffed, glaring. “You’re gonna choose to argue over terminology with a translator?”

I rolled my eyes. “Ok, fine. I lied. I cheated. I’m a selfish bastard, whatever you say. Is that why you ran back to Saint Ryan so swiftly? How can I blame you, I’m a ruthless bastard, he’s an innocent good boy, of course you’d jump back into his arms at the first chance. Or maybe hey, you just never really left him. Maybe the baby wasn’t even mine.”

She didn’t reply. She just downright slapped me. For having fought 27 matches in a week, she sure still had quite a stamina. Her eyes were burning, she was furious, she looked ready to devour me. “I basically killed your son in the process of saving your ass. Don’t you dare talk to me like that, Jake. Don’t you dare even speak of the baby like that.”

My eyes widened as I rubbed my injured cheek. “You ... you lost the baby?”

“To save your ungrateful ass.”

“What ... what do you mean?” I asked, appalled.

She sighed, raking a hand over face, and there I noticed not just the blood on her knuckles, but also the stained blood right above her cleavage. It definitely wasn’t hers, and I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing or not. “When you lost consciousness, after the fight with that guy that chose to get shot, they wanted to leave you there to bleed out. Or revive you with a bucket of ice water, to force you to keep fighting. I managed to slip into the cage, and get to you before Sokolov’s gorilla, and I shielded you with my body.”

“Oh, shit, Silvia ...”

“The gorilla would have forced me to leave you, but Sokolov stopped him.” She sighed, closing her eyes as she dropped her head against the wall. “We made a deal, Sokolov and I. He would call in his doctors to heal you enough to save your life, but not enough for you to get back on your feet, and in exchange I would provide entertainment.”

My eyes widened, afraid she meant ...

“Also, if I fight 27 matches, and I win every single one of them, he’ll let us go.”

“What was the price for saving my life?” My fists clenched. I know she skipped those details for a reason.

“Not what you’re thinking.” Silvia read my mind.

“Then what?”

Silvia heaved a deep sigh. “I ought to entertain, like I said, and he would save your life.”

“How?” Not what I think, not what I think, not what I think ...

She closed her eyes, shaking her head. “I’d rather not say.”

Fucking bastard. I gnashed my teeth. “He forced you to have sex with him?!”

“Of course not.”

“Then what-” Silvia’s lower lip trembled, a clear sign she was about to cry. “Oh, no ...” I reached out for her, and pulled her into my arms, as wounded as we both were. “The baby?”

She abandoned herself in her arms, limp, hurt, broken. All because of me. I’ll never forgive myself for this. “He said it would get in the way. I couldn’t fight while pregnant, could I?” She sobbed. “So ...”

“So he forced you to abort.” That fucking bastard. If only I could get to him.

Silvia breathed heavily. “He said I ought to choose. Either we both died and the baby died with us, or ...” She couldn’t even finish the sentence, as loud and sorrowful her sob was. “I ... he said I ought to choose. You or the baby.” Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!



“I’m beginning to worry.” I sighed, biting on my nails.

“I’m sure she’s fine.” David assured me, grabbing my hands to make me stop. “Maybe she and Jake made up, and they’re somewhere enjoying themselves.”

I shook my head. “You don’t know her like I do. If she’d gone on holiday or whatever, she’d have told me. Yet she isn’t home, and she doesn’t answer to her phone. It’s been over 2 weeks, David.”

“You said it happens sometimes that you don’t hear from her for weeks.” He gripped my hand, rubbing the back to soothe me. Other time my heart would have fluttered and I’d have been a blubbery mess, but ... my thoughts are all for Sissy.

“Yes, but ... this time it’s different.”

“How so?”

Because we told her Jake was in a dangerous circle. Knowing her, she went straight to the lion’s lair to drag his ass out of the mess he got himself into. What if in the process they got hurt? I don’t know what Jake got himself into, I just know it was a dangerous circle. What if he pissed off the wrong people? Sissy might pay for it on his behalf.

I know her. I know she can say all she wants she’s furiously mad at him and will never forgive him, which might be true, yes, but in the end, she still loves him with her whole self. She’d do anything for him. Anything. That’s what that jerk still can’t grasp.

The biggest mistake Jake has made, is thinking he’s the one to love the most between them. He takes for granted that she can’t love him as much as he loves her. How wrong he is. If only he’d seen her these past months ... anger may have driven her actions in the daylight, but I’ve seen her at night, I’ve seen her at her worst. I even caught her praying once.

She never prays. She’s a believer in her own way, yes, but she never prays. Yet that night she was a blubbery mess, and she prayed to God, no, she begged Him. She begged to be rid of her sorrow, she begged to be rid of her feelings, because the thought of Jake was killing her, because being apart from him was too much to take.

So I’m worried. Because I know her, and I know that, what he hasn’t realized, is that she would do anything for Jake. Anything. Including sacrifice her own life.

“I should call Mr. Watson.” I thought out loud. “Maybe he can do something.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to go to the police?”

“Money can get where the cops can’t. If there’s anyone that can help, that’s him.”

“And you think he would?”

“Well, it’s his nephew we’re talking about, not just Sissy. Jake has gone MIA too.” I grabbed my phone, and scrolled it to get to Mr. Watson’s number. Hopefully it won’t be too late.



“Hit me.”

“I can’t, you know I can’t.”

“You have to.”

“There’s must be another way ... you need to win this, right? Then just go ahead, fight me.”

Silvia sighed as we circled each other. “You heard him. If you let me win, he’ll kill us both.”

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to think straight, despite the ache in my bones, the cheering crowd and the fact that my head was spinning too fast. “I can’t fight you, Silvia.” You’d think that having a woman, who just a couple of days before you forced to abort, fight against 26 people, 4 per day, would be enough entertainment. Especially when he’s seen that at this point Silvia can barely stand on her feet, because even though they stitch her up every night, the wound caused by abortion keeps on reopening. Yet no, Sokolov had the brilliant idea to keep the worst opponent as last. Me.

Silvia slapped me, hard enough for it to sting more than I thought. “Fight me.” She demanded.

“Silvia ...”

She punched me, plainly hitting my jaw, enough for me to spit out some blood as she shouted: “Fight me, Jake! Or we won’t get out of here alive.”

“I can’t.”

She aimed a powerful jab to my stomach. “You can. Fight me.”

I can’t. It’s not chivalry. It’s ... I’m not me when I fight. I don’t wanna lose control. I don’t wanna risk hurting her for real. “No. I can’t and I won’t.” I stood there, arms wide open. “Hit me with all you’ve got. They’re gonna like it anyways.”

She pulled my arm behind my back, to twist it, which had the crowd outside the cage cheer for her. “You heard him, Jake. Either we fight, or we both die.”

“But if I fight, then you may ... no.” I refused categorically. “I’m not gonna fight you and risk hurting you.”

She sighed, leaving my arm and pushing me forward. “Now’s not the time to be a gentleman, Jake. If you don’t fight, we’re both gonna die! Don’t you understand that? If you don’t fight, everything I did will have been in vain! If you die, I’ll have sacrificed our son for nothing.”

One hell of a way to pull an emotional blackmail. I took a deep breath, trying to think of a solution, but the sole fact that she said our son blocked out my every sensible cell. She didn’t say it, she didn’t say the baby. She called him our son. That means she’d changed her mind. That means we’d have been a family. That means that she picked me, a bastard that’s done nothing but fuck up her life, over a child that, in the end, she’d have wanted to keep.

I turned around slowly, and noticed the tears in her eyes. Her whole bloody was covered in blood. Some was hers, but mostly it belonged to her past opponents. The large stain on her belly was all hers, though. It was the abortion wound, the stitches kept on coming off, causing her to bleed even too much for her own good. I wonder how could she still stand. But the truth is, I think that only determination kept her up.

Silvia was worn out, wounded, hurt, her heart had been shattered, her soul had been voided, yet she was still up. For me. For my sake. She wasn’t fighting for herself, her main goal was not to save herself, now I realized. Because she knew, just as much as I, that it would be impossible for the both of us to get out of this alive. She was choosing again.

Her forces were abandoning her, if she kept on fighting, it was only to give me a chance, but she knew she wouldn’t make it. Be it because they killed her or because her wounds would cause her to bleed out. She was choosing again. She chose me over our son. She chose me over herself.

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