I'm Here to Fix You

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Chapter 63

Super-short, but it needs to be a stand-alone. About the title, if you get what it means, please, don’t spoil it for the others :P


“You should sleep.”

I think I’ve heard that sentence a billion times already. “So should you.”

“Yes, but ...” Tess heaved a shaky sigh. When I looked up, I noticed her tear-stained face. “It won’t help, you know?” She claimed, her voice broken. “I ... I-I tried that, but ... b-but it served to nothing ...”

“Tess ...” I reached out for her hand across the bed.

She burst out crying for the fifth time today. On cue, David pulled her into his arms, but it didn’t really serve to much. “I’ll take her out for some fresh air.” He said. I nodded without even thinking.

I watched them leave, or rather, David basically carry a distraught Tess out of the room. She seemed close to fainting. To be honest, I would talk about how I understand, how I can understand what she’s going through, I would describe everything that happens, but ... I’m tired. I ... I don’t even have the strength to talk, to think, to live.

My eyes fell onto the bed. The beeping of the machine gets more deafening by the hour. My left hand was still in hers. For some stupid reason I thought I should keep it there, that way I would know if she moved, but mainly, I ... I didn’t want her to feel alone.

I know, it’s probably stupid, but ... I just ... I mean I know how it feels to be unconscious for a long time, I know how coma works, I’ve been there, so I know that she’s probably out there, wandering around, unable to find the way back. I want her to know there is a way back. I want her to know she’s not alone.

“They’ve kept you away from me for 13 months.” I mentioned, pulling closer enough to hold her hand in both mine, and kiss it as tears once again started streaming my cheeks. “I know you were lost these months. I know it felt like I abandoned you. But I haven’t. I never will.” I pressed my lips to stifle a sob as tears blurred my sight. “I’m here, baby. I’ll always be here.” I took a moment to breathe, because I barely could. “I never lied when I said those things ...” I kissed her hand. “I really can’t even breathe without you, Silvia. I ...” My voice failed me, so I shut up, and closed my eyes, trying to regain my strengths, at least enough to speak.

“If ... if you’re there, searching for a light that’ll guide you home, I ... no. That would be a lie. I’m not your light. You are my light. I ... I was nothing but a murky cloud of darkness. You ... y-you loved me back to life.” Fuck these waterworks. “I ... the truth is, you gave me life, yet I took yours. I ... I’m not your light. I ... I’m just a fool man that’s begging you to come back. I don’t even know if it’s worth it. It’s ... it’s not even about you. The truth is, this is a selfish need. I’m begging you, not for your sake, not your father’s or mother’s, not even Tess’ ... I’m only begging you for my sake. I need you. I don’t live without you. I am withering away without you.

And it’s alright, I deserve it. I deserve to rot away in the murkiest abyss for what I’ve done to you. But ... still, I’m selfish. So I’m here, begging you.” I brought her lifeless hand to my heart, barely able to stifle my sobs anymore. “This ... you can feel this? It keeps on slowing down. Every minute of you less if one beat less. I ... if you really have to leave, then ... take me with you. Don’t ... don’t leave me here alone again. I’m begging you. Don’t ... don’t let me live without you.”



“They’re considering it.” David gazed at Tess, worried. She sat at Silvia’s bedside, as usual. She and Jake barely even stand up from their seats.

“But why? Yesterday there was something ...”

“A feeble movement. They’re incline to believe it was just a glitch in the machine.”

“A glitch my ass! He talks to her, and a moment later the machine shows an improvement? That’s not a glitch, David. That’s freaking fate.”

David sighed, though, unconvinced. “It’s been 13 months, Colin. Let’s face it, Mr. Watson was right, she’s basically a vegetable ...”

“I know, but ...” I glanced into Silvia’s room. Jake just doesn’t even acknowledge life around him. He just sits there, and waits, or rather, cries. He cries to himself while holding her hand. The man you think you know? He doesn’t exist anymore. That’s not the Jake I know, that’s the shattered shell of a man whose only thread of life is about to be cut. They want to unplug her. The doctor just told Mr. Banchi. He’ll have to make a tough decision.

“They can, Colin.” David sighed. “They don’t even need her father’s permission.”

I blinked my eyes, taken off guard. “What?” I snapped back to him.

He bit his lip. “I ... overheard. They told Mr. Banchi simply to inform him, but ... they don’t really need his permission. She ...” David sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “It’s in her will, Colin. She wanted to be unplugged after 13 months.”

Oh, shit. “But where did they even find her will?”

“I don’t know, she probably registered it or something. In these cases they check.”

I wouldn’t put it past Silvia. I don’t know her much, but the fact that she would write a living will even while being so young, doesn’t surprise me at all. Turns out she was right to. “But they’ll still have to ask her father ...” And he may say no, hopefully he’ll say no.

“Not necessarily.” David took off his glasses to clean them. “As a lawyer, you should know this better than I, Colin. When there’s a living will, doctors don’t need to ask relatives. They may just follow the will’s instructions.”

“Non-practicing lawyer.” I corrected. “And even though you’re right, there aren’t many cases where doctors actually do that. Living wills are pretty complicated for a thing.”

“Yes, but I heard the doctor, Colin ... he seemed incline to get Mr. Banchi’s approval, but he did talk about the will ...”

I frowned. “You mean he was trying to persuade Silvia’s father to unplug her? He can’t do that.” David shrugged. I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “Okay, I’ll see what I can do ...” I haven’t practiced the law in five years, but I think I know someone that can help.


“I don’t understand, what ... what happens now?” Mr. Banchi asked, naturally confused.

I attempted a smile, trying to be as clear as possible. “This is Byron Wayne, Mr. Banchi, a lawyer from New York. He’s here to take care of the legal side of things.” I introduced my friend, so the two of them shook hands.

“Your daughter’s living will was redacted and registered in Italy, sir.” Byron informed him. “So it may have no legal value here in America. I’ll have to check that.”

“But even though there’s this ... will, they can’t ... they can’t unplug her if I don’t ...” His voice died down, he couldn’t even finish the thought. Now I see why did he say it was better not to let his wife know anything about all this. She doesn’t even know about the coma. Her husband told her that the call he received from the States was to tell him that his daughter had been in an accident, she was fine, but she would need some care-taking, so that’s why he flew here. I don’t know how he convinced his wife to stay at home, but it’s a good thing he did.

“It’s a complicated matter, sir, but Byron is here to help.” I smiled at him, trying to reassure him.

Times like this, I don’t even know what to think anymore. I’ve got my best friend sitting there, alive enough to eat soup every three days, but still catatonic enough not to really know what happens around him. My girlfriend is mad at me for having lied to her about her brother for all these months, so she’s been giving me the silence treatment. It’s hurtful, but ... I deserved it, and this way it’s easier to keep the two things separated.

While Mr. Banchi went back to his daughter’s room, I stayed behind to talk a little more to my friend. “So ... what do you think?”

Byron shrugged. “I think there aren’t many chances they can use her living will, but ... her father seems worn out, Colin. They might convince him it’s better this way, she won’t suffer.”

“Yeah, I figured ... well, we-what the ...” A squad of five people, three of which wore a blue uniform, while the other two seemed lawyers, barged into Silvia’s room, determined looks on their faces. Needless to say I rushed, but I knew what was going on.

I got there barely in time to see them cuffing him. “Jake Alexander Watson, you’re under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you by the court. With these rights in mind, are you still willing to discuss with me about the charges against you?”

Now really shit has hit the fan.

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