Broken 2 - Anatomy of the Broken Man
Mago’s warning terrified me but it was not enough for me to decide to give up. I do not care if people think that I am dumb or that I am a masokist, because I still believe that I can change Mago’s perception towards love.
Mago came home with a woman so I decided to meet them at the entrance door. I may be martyr, but I am not willing to share my man with another woman. I can let Mago hurt me, but I won’t let any woman take him from me.
“Who is she?” the woman asked while checking me out from head to toe.
“Don’t mind her,” Mago answered her, “she’s just my jealous step sister.”
Mago’s answer pissed me off so I immediately interrupted, “Correction, I am his wife.”
Mago didn’t mind what I said and simply entered the house while the woman sarcastically smiled at me. I raised one of my brows and blocked her way.
“Did you hear what I just said?” I told the woman.
“I am not a deaf,” she sarcastically answered.
“Then why are you still here?” I questioned.
“Mago invited me,” she answered nonchalantly.
“If you do not want to get hurt, you better leave this instant!” I warned her.
“Don’t you dare hurt my guest!” Mago interrupted us, “if you wish to join us, then you are free to come with us in the room. I have enough load for both of you,” he continued.
I slapped Mago’s face because I did not expect what he just said. He obviously did not expect what I did because he gave me an angry stare. It honestly scared me, but I am prepared to fight for what is mine.
“Tch! What a drama,” the woman complained, “I don’t like to be involved in your drama!” she continued and then she left.
I smiled realizing that I won but Mago pinned me to the wall and said, “I have three rules!”
“One. You should not meddle with what I want to do. Two. All we have is paper and what will happen between us is merely physical attraction so do not expect love to happen,” he said.
“And three! Because you said you are my wife, then I expect you to satisfy me or else I will find that satisfaction from other women,” he continued and stepped backward.
He looked at me intently as he unbuckled his belt. At first, I didn’t understand what he wanted me to do until he said, “Now wife, suck me!”
I have not tried doing what he wanted me to do, but I admit that I have watched porn movies and I have seen women doing it. I looked into his eyes, to find the man who used to tell me he loved me, but all I can see is anger. Maybe his love for me was just consumed by so much anger.
But I am not giving up. If this is one of the ways I need to do to bring back his love for me, I will do it. I continued to meet his eyes as I moved forward and knelt in front of him. My hands were shaking when I started removing his boxers. His magnificent member sprung in front of me so I nervously gulped.
I looked at him again, hoping that he’d change his mind, but I only saw burning desire in his eyes. I held his penis and started stroking it. I felt it become harder and bigger. It scares me but I have no intention of backing out. I have to prove to him that I am already good enough for him not to find satisfaction from other women.
I heard his soft moan so I prepared to taste his manhood but he stopped me before my mouth reached his tip. I was confused while watching him fix himself and then just left.
I do not know what I should feel but after he left, I felt humiliated. It also hurts to think that he enjoyed having sex with other women while he has not done it with me, his wife. Am I not attractive enough for him to choose to have sex with other women rather than having it with me?
I only intend to challenge her to see how far she would go for me, but I did not expect her to kneel in front of me and took pulled my boxers down. The way she held my shaft tells me that she knows what she is doing. A clear indication that she is no longer the innocent Arlene that I used to know.
But I changed my mind, and it pissed me off that no matter how much angry I am, I still couldn’t watch her take the punishment I impose to her. I’ve known Arlene as an innocently sweet girl, and when I saw what she did tonight, I felt ashamed of myself. I can’t watch her play as my slut.
I went back to my bar to drink some alcohol. I hate the fact that I love Arlene. I have to mentally remind myself about what made me hate my mother and her father.
It was already past midnight when dad came home. I was still awake but I pretended that I am asleep because he came in to my room. He was not drunk and he was not mad. He sat at the side of my bed so I tried not to move so he will not have an idea that I am awake.
“I’m sorry, Mago,” I heard him whispered, “Son, I know I messed up. I am really sorry.”
I pinch of pain struck my heart when I heard his words but I felt more pain when I heard him cry. I’ve known him as a tough, heartless man, but tonight, he made me feel he is vulnerable. He continued crying until he said, “I love you, son.”
He left my room after that but after a few minutes, I heard the sound of a gun being fired. I feared that my dad took his own life so I rushed to see him, hoping that I was wrong. But I was right, I saw my dad bathe in his own blood.
My father killed himself but I am not ready to give him up. I called an ambulance and was able to bring my dad on time to the hospital.
I was eighteen then, and like my dad, I was also broken hearted. That was also the night when Ailene broke up with me in front of many people.
I called mom to tell her what happened to dad, but a man answered my call.
“She is asleep,” he told me.
“I-I just want to tell her something about dad,” I pleaded.
“Don’t bother her about your father anymore,” the man coldly replied, “your parents have already separated. We are now the family of your mother.”
I may be old enough to take care of myself, but at times like this, I still need a mother to help me endure everything that has happened to my life. I just need to hear her tell me that everything will be alright. But even just for me to hear her voice was not even allowed.
“We were able to save your dad,” the doctor told me, “but due to the traumatic brain injury, half of his brain could no longer function well.”
This tells me that from then on, I need to be man enough to take care of everything that my father has left me. Yet, I still longed for the care of my mother. I went to see her, hoping that this time, she will face me. But my selfish mother won’t even have a glimpse of me.
“Tell her that I am not leaving until she will talk to me,” I told their servant.
I endured the heat of the sun and the coldness of the rain as I stayed by the gate of their mansion, hoping that my mother would pity me. I am not here to beg for her to come back to our family. I have long accepted the fate of our family. I simply want her to tell me that everything will be fine.
*end of flashback*
That bitter memory hardened my heart. Since then I never believed in love.
I do not know how to face Mago after the humiliation I felt last night but I know I cannot stay away from him. I have to do something in order for our marriage to workout. If I won’t do it now, then when will it be? Whether I’ll start today or do it later, it will all be the same. I will still need to endure being rejected, hurt and hated. I will have to do anything that can save our relationship.
I went to the bar early. It is also my first day of being Mago’s co-manager. I know he can’t stand to see me but I have to be where he is for him to be reminded that we are married. I plan to join him in his office, to make sure that he will no longer be taking women to his private room.
I stopped when I saw him drinking at the bar. It was still very early for him to be drunk but I could sense pain in his red eyes. I took a deep breath and decided to get near him, but I did not expect him to stand. He stopped in front of me, his eyes still starihng mine. I tried to loofm for answers in his stare but I drowned in his presence. He became everything. He became the air that I breathe, the water that I thirst, the blood in my veins, and the light of my vision.
Within a few seconds his lips touched mine. Our tongues intertwined. It was deep. It was rich. It was perfect! His lips were perfect puzzle piece that completed mine. They were as if made to perfectly match my lips. I closed my eyes but my system was well aware of his presence. My senses knew every part of my body that his hands touches. It was as if I am memorizing every part he touches.
I startled when he moved away from me. His breath was heavy as he leaned his forehead to mine. I felt his breath on my skin. I felt weak being wrapped in his arms but I did not complain. I like what he was doing to me. I do not want to move because I do not want him to let go of me. But after a while he stepped away from me.
“Mago,” I called.
“Tomorrow,” he said as he turned his back on me, “I will file a petition to make our marriage null and void.”
“No!” I ran to face him.
“I don’t want to punish you, Arlene,” he shut his eyes, “I am setting you free.”
“Mago, I know that you still love me,” I uttered, “Please don’t push me away.”
He walked away as if he heard nothing so I pleaded, “Mago, please.”
He stared at me blankly. I tried to find love in his stares but in vain, I see nothing.
“Mago, give me this one last fight,” I begged, “Let’s have a deal again. If I win, you’ll try to be a good husband and we will tell everyone that we are married.”
“I will not change my rules if you win. I will just hurt you and you will not be happy with me,” he said.
“Being with you and being known as your wife is already enough for me,” I insisted.
“You cannot expect anything from me,” he said coldly, “I will not be loving you the way you expect me to love you.”
“I don’t care,” I assured him, “I am your wife. You can use me in any way you want.”
“What will be the basis for our deal?” he asked.
“Let’s finish the deal that we had before,” she answered.
“Marco and Janine were already married,” he said.
“But there is still Stuart and Patricia,” I insisted again.
“Good luck,” he uttered and then left.
My mind was set to using her for my revenge but my anger seemed to fade whenever she is near. Something about her makes me bend my own rules and I suddenly lost control over myself, just like what happened now. I had no intention of kissing her but my feet seems to know what my heart. When I kissed her, I intend to punish her but feeling her lips changed everything.
I should not be weak. Hurting Arlene is the only way I can hurt the people who crushed me when I was vulnerable.
I suffered days of fever after I endured the heat of the sun and then the coldness of the rain that came in the afternoon. I thought my mom can’t stand to see me in my condition. But just as the guy on the phone said, she does not care about me anymore. My dad was still in the hospital while I stayed alone in the house.
I guess I was naive because I still wanted to try. I went back to the house of my mother, but this time, I saw men loading things from the house to a truck. I ran to ask one of them and I was told that my mother and her new found family are leaving the house. It was then when I saw my mother inside the car.
I ran towards the car and knocked at the window. I called her name but she stayed cold-hearted.
“Mommy! Please take me with you,” I shouted.
“Start the car!” I heard my mother commanded the driver.
“Mommy! Take me with you!” I uttered again, this time it was louder and I knocked harder.
My mom’s car left so I ran to my car to follow them. My eyes were clouded with tears that I did not notice the red light. I had an accident then, and the last thing that I saw was the car of my mother getting out of my sight.
*end of flashback*
My mother did not care to visit me after the accident. Even if it is impossible, I also hoped that Ailene would come back to me. But none of the two women I love so dearly came to show that they love me. They chose to leave me.
I was just glad that my friends are with me. Since then, they became my only family. The girls in my life became my toys. All sex, no love. I have guarded my heart well but then Arlene came.
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