Breaking 5 - Anatomy of the Broken Man
I can’t remember what happened last night but waking up dressed in someone’s big-sized shirt is enugh to tell me that I did not just slept last night.
“Oh no, no, no!” I checked the bed for any blood stain to confirm my theory but I saw nothing.
‘What if it did not happen here? What if it happened in the car or in the living room or in the kitchen?’ I thought. Since I could not confirm my theory, I decided to examine myself. I walk back and forth, checking whether I feel any pain or any difficulty in walking.
‘Who was I with? What if he was an old , ugly man? What he’ll got me pregnant?’ I clasped my hair in horror. It would have been better if I was with Mago, that would be really great. But it’s impossible. He always say, ‘I don’t do virgins.’
It took me time to finally decide to leave the house without notice. I do not want to know who I was with because it would be very awkward. I hurriedly went to the front door but before I could touch the doorknob, the door sprung open, revealing to me a Greek God in white shirt and faded jeans, who is carrying a take out from McDonalds.
“M-mago?” I was in a state of shock.
“Where are you going?” he asjed.
“I, uhm, I am going home,” I stuttered.
Wait, was I just wearing his shirt this morning? Shoot! Have we done it? Darn, this is insane! How can I have a first time with him and I cannot remember anything? I cannot even remember how he kissed me! This is definitely frustrating because knowing Mago, I know it will never happen again. Will it be okay if I’ll ask him for another round?
“You better eat first before going home,” he adamantly uttered.
What? He took my first last night and he just casually ask me to eat before leaving? Aren’t we going to talk about what happened? I followed him but instead of showing my frustrations, I acted cool. I remembered his reason why he does not like virgins and that was because women tend to become clingy to the one who took their first. I wanted to prove to him that I am different, and even if I am dying to know the details of our sexy night last night, I will show him that I can play cool – that I will never be clingy. But it is really unfair! I can’t remember anything!
“What’s with the face?” he asked while preparing our food on the kitchen counter. He does not have a dining table so I guess the kitchen counter will serve as our table.
“That was nothing,” he shrugged.
What do I expect from him? He does not like me because I was a virgin, and with the number of women he went to bed with, I will never be that someone he’ll consider special. I am just one of them. But I don’t want to prove him right. I must show him that even virgins can be casual about their firsts. I will never be clingy but I’ll make sure he’l fall for me.
“Great!” I said, “so can I expect that you’ll never kiss and tell?”
“Kiss and tell?” he laughed.
“You know,” I shrugged, “telling everyone about having sex with someone.”
“I don’t brag about it,” he turned serious, “it’s the women I go to bed with who announced our one night affair to the world.”
I kept quiet. I hate the way he could play casual while I am dying to know what happens next now that we have done it.
“You eat your breakfast and then I’ll take you to your place,” he handed me my food, “sorry, I don’t cook.”
“It’s obvious,” I uttered and then looked around, “you don’t have utensils, your oven looked new as if it was never been used, and even if I open your refrigerator, I know it does not contain anything healthy.”
“Do you have to make that ocular inspection?” he chuckled.
I admit, I find this better. Him talking to me and casually laughing is a progress. I wished we can stay like this forever.
“Hey, I need to drop by my dad’s place,” he changed the topic, “it is on the way, if we’ll go there first?”
“It’s fine with me,” I shrugged trying to hide the excitement I felt. Imagine? He is taking me to his dad’s. Wow! It’ll be a big leap for us.
We arrived in an elderly care facility which was just a few blocks away from his place. I watched him parked his car, took his groceries and went out the car. I battled between staying in the car and inviting myself to join him but I don’t need to decide anymore because I went around the car and opened the door on my side.
“I might take time,” he said, “I think you should come with me.”
My world suddenly stops when he said those. Gosh! I never expected that we’ll be in the “meet-the-parents” stage this soon. I was excited to follow him but he said, “take the other grocery bags at the trunk of the car.”
I opened the trunk of the car and saw three big bags containing grocery items. Seriously? He just carried one bag while he expected me to bring three?
“Hi Dad,” he greeted his father when we entered his Dad’s room.
I saw that Mago headed to the cabinet so I followed him. I was standing behind him when I froze because someone touched my butt.
“Dad!” Mago removed his father’s hand from my butt.
“Dad, you can’t do that to her,” Mago uttered, “she’s mine!”
I skipped a beat when I heard what he just said. He called me his.
The old man looked at me and said, “she looked familiar.”
“Go back to your seat, Dad,” he guided his father back to the chair.
I watched silently as Mago took care of his father. I never thought I’d be able to see his soft side. After a short while, Mago bid good bye to his father and then he gently held my hand as we walked out from the facility. We were quiet in the car. After seeing him with his father, I was more eager to know him. I believed that there is a reason behind how he treated women.
Mago brought me to an old mansion. I did not ask question and I let him guide me to a room where I see unexpected things like a bed with handcuffs and some unusual things hanged on the wall.
“W-what are we going to do here?” I asked nervously.
“I want you to see that I am not a prince charming,” he answered.
I did not replied but I looked around.
“This is my father’s sex den,” he explained, “this is where he used to imprison my Mom and where he used to force himself to her. When my mom left, it shattered him completely. From then on, he took different woment in this room.”
“I-is your dad mentally sick?” I could not help but asked.
“No, he was just trying to fill the gap that my mother left,” he answered.
“Didn’t you look for your Mom?” I asked again.
“I did,” he turned his back on me, “I found her place but she refused to see me.”
What kind of mother is she? I can’t help but think.
“You see,” he continued, “I am not capable of loving anyone because I grew up not knowing it.”
I wanted to say something but I could not think of anything to counter what he just said.
“You saw my father,” he said, “what happened to him was because he made love with a virgin. She wanted more than just sex so when she was dumped, she could not contain the rejection. She nearly killed my Dad by putting a bullet on his head.”
“Oh my gosh!” I covered my mout in shock.
‘Was that the reason why he avoided virgins?’
“Why are you telling me all these?” I asked.
“Because I want you to see clearly.”
“But I still love you,” I said.
“I will only drag you down,” he said, “you’ll get hurt.”
“I won’t give up. Please let me love you, Mago. Let me teach you how to love,” I begged.
“I can’t be liable for breaking you.”
“It is my choice! If I break, it’s my problem –“ I did not finish what I am supposed to say because he crushed his lips on mine.
His kiss is intoxicating. It is sweeter, gentler but hungrier. I nearly lost my balance so he carried me to bed without breaking our kiss.
I knew what is going to happen and I am both excited and afraid about it. He went on top of me as he runs his fingers on my thigh. He was about to unbutton my pants when he suddenly broke our kiss and left me lying on the bed.
“Shit! This should not happen,” he massaged his temple as she sat at the corner of the bed.
“If this is not right, then tell what me what should happen?” I rose from the bed.
“I don’t want to break you,” he whispered but it was enough for me to hear him.
“You’re breaking me apart by just doing this,” I said, “open your heart to me, Mago.”
“I am too broken, Arlene. I might drag you down,” he said.
“I can handle myself, Mago. Let’s just give it a try,” I begged, “it’ll be fine, besides, I am no longer a virgin.”
“You are no longer a virgin?” horror was painted on his face.
“Y-you took my virginity last night, right?” I shyly said.
“W-what? M-me?” he stood up in surprise, “I never touched you!”
“You mean it did not happen?” I was also in shocked, “how come I woke up wearing your shirt?”
“Because you took off your clothes to seduce me!” he replied.
“And you were not seduced?” I was more like talking to myself than to him.
‘My Gosh! I took off my clothes and he was not even seduced?’ I can’t help but feel embarrassed.
“You,” he stopped, trying to look for the right words to say, “you fell asleep when we are about to do it.”
I can’t stop laughing when I saw him blushed.
“Don’t laugh, you looked ugly,” he squinted at me.
“So does that mean that I seduced you?” I asked still laughing.
“I am a guy,” he sighed.
“So what happen to your I-don’t-do-virgins thing?” I teased.
“I told you, I am a guy,” he stood and faced me.
“Then if you can bend that rule, why can’t you try to let me in to your life?” I stood and faced him also.
“I have rules that you might not be able to keep up,” he said.
“I can take a race,” I crossed my arms.
“If you are going to enter my world, be ready to play my game. If you can’t keep up then you’ll have to endure the pain,” he said in a matter-of-factly manner.
“Try me,” I challenged him.
“If we are to do this,” he said, “we have to set rules.”
“You set your rules, I’ll make my own boundaries,” I replied.
“You’ll move in to my place,” he demanded.
“That instant?” I laughed at what he just said but I need to be more clever than him, “I will but there will be no sex.”
“Is that possible?” his forehead creased.
“Yes it is, because you must learn to love me first before I’ll give myself up to you,” I said firmly.
“What if we make a deal out of it,” he suggested.
“What do you mean?” this time, I was the one creasing my forehead.
“Remember our agreement about our friends?” he smiled.
“Yes. What about it?”
“If your friends succeeded in making my friends propose to them, I’ll submit to your terms,” he said.
“I am cool with it,” I said confidently.
“But for work ethics, I don’t want the other employees in the club to know about us,” he said.
“Okay, but at least keep yourself away from flirty women,” I demanded.
“Flirting with my customers is part of my marketing strategy,” he smirked.
“You’re unfair!” I complained.
“I told you,” he smiled mischievously, “You have to be ready to play my game.”
“And how do you expect me to play your game?” I placed my hands on my waist.
“Well, you just have to do something to keep my attention on you,” that’s the only thing he said.