White Snake

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Chapter 5: This is linked?

“A woman journalist since got resigned to the fact that she could not make her living by doing what she does best being a journalist.”

“A male journalist can go anywhere any place and still not be attacked.”

“That is not true.” Said Teksoy “I have been attacked many times.”

“Not in the way I have been?”

“There is twenty two thousand villages near here.”

“In Anatolia.”

“Some are made up of three people.”

“Who do they vote for?”

“Their mayor.”

“Who do they pay taxes to?”

“Their mayor.”

“Who does them in?”

“Their mayor.”

“Who gives them child care?”

“Their mayor.”

“I want to round up four people and become the mayor.”

“Do you own anything?”


“Well sod off.”

“No offence but you are indeed rude. Look I have my looks.”

“Looks can’t buy me love.”

“What can ?”

“Loaves of bread which the man has picked with olives.”

“Who is olive?”

“Pop eyed the sailor man.”


“So them twenty two thousand villages are made up of what?”

“Some have a decent number with number plates some are homespun.”

“What happiness to know them?”

“No one can get near them in the winter.”



“Did you mean impossible?”

“No they get flooded and so nobody can pass through.”

“What kind of a can of worms is this?”

“There is the evidence of what makes ignorance.”

“What if children and persons can’t seek and find each other their ignorance increases.”

“Why? They have the television?”

“All the lights go off.”

“So what do they do?”

“They wait for the spring.”

“Like the Arab spring.”

“Nobody asked you for anything there is not enough to speak about without you stirring the coals.”

“Look the Syrians are being looked after by their MP’s so are we in a lesser way.”

“This is a first degree murder of our authority.”

“I am sure there is no disgrace in that.”

“When does the game begin?” We were at the game show for some reasonable pretext to discuss what made us and this is what made us so unique.

“Are you drunk?”


“This novel is a mess.”

“When did you become a expert in all this?”

“I have no idea when I was kidnapped I became interested in politics because the man ma sold me to was M and he was a chancellor and so got into all he said as he did try to penetrate my naval.”

“He liked the naval.”

“He enjoyed it tremendously.”

“I was so black and blue they thought I would be disfigured.”

“My darling were you a baby?”

“I do not remember.”

But it is no ordeal to be permanently damaged in the naval the navy would not allow such matters to stand still they have floated the markets into ships sailing and now we all welcome them children because of Shirley Temple on the lollipop and the good ship she said so. But then she was more diplomatic than I am and since she became a diplomat herself she progressed to better things.

“She spoke the language of the good sense.”

“Yes indeed she had to be progressively mad in the concord of good sense when the men in the embassies must have been the things she had as a kid.”

“She was a film movie star.”

“She was indeed. I always wanted to be a comedienne but nobody gave me a chance but to wash the dishes and here I am writing this novel.”

“Not a bad novel.”

“No it is filthy and bad to read because nobody knows whether I am serious or funny and it makes the editions not at all. I feel like Poe did and he did write so much beastly stuff. Unlike Shakespeare whose Measure for Measure was about carnal love between the opposing sexes and there is sexism in there and now we in this gay land dislike it and say it is not about incest and it is not about gay love. So what is it about? So it is odd for the likes of us. I do not understand it and there is no reason to this and there is no rhyme and the undertaker is not there to ask the time.”

“There there.”

“I think it is not there at all.”

“A body guard would not come apiece.” Said the public now punishingly at the game show.

It was better than when in the Ramadan the cows would run away and they would chase them for a fortnight in order to kill and eat them. Well it was best not to dwell on it this was less dangerous for in that chase with them cows their cars and vans would be vandalised by the petrified cows they were chasing. The news also said they were highly unskilled and cut off their thumbs while trying to save money on the slaughter. Well it was highly likely the hospitals could not cope was it not?

A woman journalist has to sleep with them editors. And she knows all the highest in the land by first name.

“Not true?”

“It is we go to the bar at night.”

“That is why they are found to be holding hands.”

“With who?”

“With each other.”

“Woman journalist with woman?”


“It is obscene behaviour.”

“The only woman with children who can get away with babysitting because it is her partner or friend who she won’t have to pay much as she is giving her one.”

“Otherwise she is richer than him.”


“The husband?”

“Well is he looking after their children?”

“No because they got the divorce have they not?”

“I thought she had been fiancée?”

“After that they got the divorce being devoted is boring.”


“Less interesting one likes to be of interest to everyone.”!

“Yes makes life more of a intense experience.”

“What for?”

“Well it is being intensely into something called life and making sure that life never fags.”

“Not fags?”

“No not fags.”

“There is no pressure on you to behave?”

“I believe that everyone has the right to walk in the street safely securely and not be attacked.”

“I was attacked on his wedding day and this makes me feel insecure because whenever he is with her I am attacked.”

“They got into bed and just had sex.”

“Yes the world has heard about it.”

“They are in the middle of discussions.”

“Of course their marriage was a real marriage so they have a lot of discourse to make.”

“So I cannot go out into the street while they are discussing their disgusting marriage and this makes me what?”

As the wife is into making her friends chase me round as if I am being a cattle herded into slaughter it is one of her pastimes. It makes her field trips so good.

“She is a proper wife.”

“With a marriage certificate to prove it.”

Another one of these things

A marriage programme to end all marriage programmes. Believe me it was he rich within his eightieth year. The woman politely refused the offer and this is other woman came on the scene she said she would agree to marry him if he turned over the lands he had the house he lived in and made her daughter the heir to what was left.

“I have five children.”

“Well no deal.”

“I will give you a fiver to shut up.”

The thing ended before it began for the punch up was intense and had to be not broadcast but the man came again the following week demanding his money back as he had spent time and money on the phone courting someone like that. The phone rang and there was this spittle of venom and she called him names and he calls her a dirty something and then they have this thing.

But the odd thing was seeing as the man had come to the show he was given a option to find a mate. This he was happy to do and he found one abler and wiser than himself sixty years old which he said was just too old for him. He refused and the woman said she thought she had come to be proposed and wasted her bus fare on him and she had travelled all the way from some town and had made arrangements and everything and now she was returning empty handed.

So she hit him over the head. Causing an uproar and there it ended the show we do know the man had to be taken some place to recover and he did not bother the show again but he did it on the phone where he said he could watch them as he and she got it on. He did not meet anyone but he was such a flirt that he said he still wanted the presenter and none of them.

“The thing is you two are not married.”

“We are not?”

“No you are not married so go home and enjoy life.”

They were so struck by the fact that they were not married that after a couple of weeks they did get married.

“How did it happen?”

“I don’t know. Well I do he came and apologised and I did make him a cup of tea.”

“A special brew?”

“No my herbal infusions with cinnamon put him into a good mood.”

“Got rid of my toothache it did.”

“Ouch that must have hurt?”

“Well the only reason I was so hot tempered then she pulled it out my tooth that is.”

In Turkey the dentist are all untrained but this happened in Britain. I had as a child of ten had eight teeth taken out in one day and it hurt and it bled. Screamed my head off that is how much it hurt.

In Turkey there is a rumour that they do not wash their equipments after every dental operations. Which might have given this country in Britain the idea on how to kill people who do go to the dentist. Beastly behaviours are a role model as everyone here has no sense they are born with and with the plays and the jests we don’t know what next is coming.

Going to a barber is safer than to a dentist so it is safer to be aware the thing was all of them had writs on their doors having costs millions of pounds of damages due to their not being hygienic. That was in the glorious days of the late 1990’s. The writs were so vast that they papered the coursework and the honest decent dentist could make his fortune if he only went there.

But the work load is vast and many people have cavities hours long and it would take a whole army to fix their teeth. It was on the news in the Teksoy programme everywhere and people were now afraid to go to their dentists.

“So she pulled your teeth?”

“Yes my temper restored I could see how pretty she moved.”

“She did get the house only the sons got the lands and there was a compromise about the daughter but they did get along fine now. I have to make sure the lady is okay to being on her own and me being older than sixty she is sure sixty years old.

“I thought she was sixty six?”

“What you lie about your age? I am leaving you.”

“I got the house you know.”

“I am going to evict you.”

Burdens of home ownerships

They did not have any black eyes or shines and it seemed to have been a happy reality relationship done on reality television. But if he had done worse damage to her that day when he attacked her and she him.

What to do so they closed the show.

We are now in the midst of a divorce

Hail Marys have been said and the statements have got into the press releases. We are so sad that they got this divorce pending it is you see who is the friends who do we now have as friends and we do not have them together not unless they are in the altogether.

They did the coupled out shagging in their mini caravan when filming and they did a great deal of money and this carried on for a number of busy years until their flops of a marriage took its toll. Working with the wife is no good. I mean makes her into an object of desire for other men. They got in there too? Of course the phones were forever ringing and not for me. Antlers on my forehead have grown to such an extent even the fools can see it.

“Mr what is it like having a sex kitten as a wife?”

“One has to be extremely careful one does not let her with other guys.”

“Which you must have done?”

“What never.”


“I never leave her alone we work for twenty four seven and she is a sex slave.”

“What do you think about the duplicates Mr?”

“Of what?”

“Of the Hilary?”

“Why duplicate things if one is not going to hide things?”

“Well thank you very much the Russians might think that very helpful?”

“I think the climate change is due to the Russians wanting their cold wintry weather to turn warm.”


“Because then they won’t have that much winter and they can wear decent clothes.”

“They are always in woollens and they destroy romance and the Russians are more romantic then most people.”

“In their apartments they do not see anybody because of winter for six or seven months it was in a play about Russia in Radio Four by Mike Walker a somebody.”

“I a nobody would not be in there at all.”

“It was a ground breaking four action packed plays hours long.”

“About Russian inhospitality.”

“He did a lot of research on Russia he got the accent right and everything.”

“He had been my teacher I was ever so proud.”

“If only briefly.”

“Yes but what took me aside is that he did know the full extent of every weather report in Russia and the psychological war in there.”

“Yet he liked that poetry book about the soap which turned to volumes in the jail house.”

“I mean the book is a tomb how can a tomb be written on a soap?”

“Never mind just talk about the Syrians.”

“I think they kill them there and then to cast a spell of what good nerds we are and how inept we are and to make us feel fear.”

“Be very afraid then?”

“We are terrified the weather is changing everyone is behaving strangely with them all having being abused and their parents not knowing and there is now the whole of the Syrian children not behaving like children but the victims of war and the man whom everyone says has been elected is there saying he is making sure they are okay.”

“Who elected him then?”

“How do I know but he certainly sure he is protecting the children?”

“Yes he positive about it. Cross his bra and size it to twenty.”

“The thing is there is a conspiracy to take over the Syrians and the thing is one must be very careful with our children.”

One is forever in with and spoils the beauty of a sledgehammer when it does come. Our marriage has ended in divorce it had ended twenty years ago but we just noted it to our accountants and he is the one to behave in this way for. The accountant is the man who manages the money and that is the most important thing in life better still if it is the family business ready to be carved up in the generous car vary us must all behave in the decent modest way we should.

Look our marriage had been on the rocks we both had a very open relationship. Now we have the modesty to think ourselves in love he has not been home for years but did not notice and neither did he and now we are having this modest divorce settlement it is too little.

“So here we go again.”

“The show must go ahead.”

“There is another thing to discuss.”

“The accountant is at the door.”

“We are misbehaving look I am not wearing a bra.”

“When did he not sign away that estate?”

“Look I am making a big fat joke.”

“There there.”

“He has a good thing to do being with me misbehaving.”

“We are misbehaving.”

“When did the accountant not arrive on these occasions on time?”

“Sorry got delayed in the traffic.”

“You are fired.”

“I will do the accounts myself saving me the expense.”

“The meal ticket where did he go?”

So three cheers when the accountant says the statements are healthy and three hollows when he says they are down.

Then they went to the man’s room to cry their eyes out. Then they went and did their walk and they got their Oscars and their Baftas’. They then did their little commercials about who is looking after their business and then they did it over and over again so we got a better look at them.

That is the reality of being in a commercial world everyone must make money otherwise go bust.

A Mum

Is not fulfilled by her work that is why she has to go out to a supermarket to work long shifts and look shifty as she does her hair. Look it was on the English programme the Derybershire show which said do you feel less or more fulfilled that now you are going to work? The thing is said the poor mum I have eight children which I never see and this is in vain to explain to Victoria who says but now you are fulfilled because you go out and study and make new friends.

“But I have no friends with my own children they are either in the day nursery or out at play.”

“Ones own children do not stretch you they are there to be fed and staid making.”

“In one’s stable there is no creativity at all?”

“Well it is not so rewarding as looking after other people’s children?”


“It is fashionable thinking.”

“I cannot agree with this struggles the young mother.”

“But the thing is of course to go out and make a life for yourself is the very thing to have a life of your own.”

“I had my man leave me and now the children need me.”

“But whatever for there are nurseries?”

“Look it is easier to do away with common sense after all we are in the altogether.”

“Tell a five year old that they are not wanted by their mum.”

“Tell them society does not respect her for staying indoors and this and the other might happen to them in the street life of the new crime wave as we wave good night to all that and more as we wave goodbye to the thinking.”

“But in literature it says that a woman is fulfilled when she leaves her three kids to her husband to look after.”

“Well that is a male point of view the husband what does he have is money.”

“This woman has been left with eight.”

“So what should she do?”

“Have a basic life but stay and look after her responsibilities.”

“The children should come first not second nor third but first.”

“If there is a fire what does a mother do?”

“Goes outside and smokes?”

“No she safeguards the children her own and if there are others too.”

“Defender of the faith?”

“Look this society is a fondness for this and the other but when adults come first and children afterwards. It makes me wonder if the women deserve to be mothers in the first place and the women or the men who thought of this giant law that says that a woman who has children should go out to work must have been in the shag or something.”

“But you are now fulfilled to be doing three days study and working at the weekends?”

“I suppose so.”

The thing was it was a bliss to see that face to watch how she did not know the joke the jest of this is the hugest joke of all time a parent is not fulfilled by having kids but working in the supermarket stacking trolleys. Look it is true to say now you are not a layabout. Of course not with eight kids? Do you know how much of a mess they make and meal times must be a treat go along with you. Here I sit and ponder there is too much of it around a mum is not this over worked thing any longer she is one who lounges round like a day berk on the dole and we do not respect or respond to these creatures they are from mars as we sit and hack away the seams of society as we hack away the legless and mend them but what about the mothers and the women who do work in their own individual way?

“Berks out of the way.”

“In comes the official of the working day always on time reliable and regular with habits not unkind.”

“Berks who are ineffectual inefficient should never have children.”

“One does not learn how to become a parent so we will have officialdom who know good parenting for we have been parents ourselves so we are sorry go to the checkout instead.”

“The only issue I have is being poor.”

“My only issue is that too.”

“How dare you be poor and have such nice children.”

“Look mother I am blowing bubbles on the swing.”

“Go to hell.” That is my own adopted parent but the good social worker did not understand what she had said as she had said it smilingly. I thought should the social worker have a interpreter? I was a Turkish child the social worker was a English rose a good solid dependable woman who knew the law backwards had studied it and was able reliable and to the point always went to the hair dresser the moment she walked in. The hairdresser was a walk away from us and this meant she could get a blow and a cut half price and look super elegant as well as doing good and reliable work.

I think they put the hairdresser there just to confuse her you know.

My ambition is to walk this year yes that is what it is so it must be for them other eight children now without a mother who is thinking going to University and will never see her own children grow up. Look I know I do not have cancer and it makes me feel good about my tits but the thing is there is too much interference and too much of them in their hacking away. Too many people wanting to send the mums and parents responsible adults mad in order to do away with care in the family and place it in their hands.

My head mistress did not know what I meant when I said he hurt me and I hurt him back and expelled me from primary school. My life over and done with. Now the wrist he had got broken in the fight. He called me a whore and said he would make a lot of pocket money out of me as I did not have parents.

I did his head into the pipe as he followed me home seeking to molest me and injure me his head being bigger he went into the rails and could not come out again. Fire engine was called who had to cut his rail and the swelling in his huge head became larger as he got frightfully huge just like in the toilet he looked like a little boy whose head swell to the giant melon.

The fire man looked at me and knew I had been the culprit and he did point me out I did care but knew it could be detention or something and the darkening of the night did not make me fear anything. I became fearless that night knowing I had done the boy who had tormented me by his lewd remarks and behaviours and made me the scapegoat, a disgrace.

The brunt of his jokes because others did make jokes about his fatty tissues and his issues about fat turned to me as the natural outlet. I was not fat as a child but he was this monstrosity of beastliness because he did not know any other way to become popular with his friends. By taunting me he became a huge fan. His assertions of manly powers meant he got girls to make him mails and he did come out on top of the situation. When after the beastly mistake in the toilet we both had to behave with a psychiatrist on co operating especially me the teacher said as I had anger issues.

He tried to hold my hand and all manner of things and I did not even stand a chance as we sat near each other in total co operation.

Because of my mum who had been a whore a woman of ease and substance which has followed me round which I learnt from pa a doctor who was a government official and cured all ailments and this did not follow me no deal only mothers pastimes did.

After much thinking the headmistress thought I had been one of her mistakes. The pleasing room with the drawing room feel with the tray with the sherry made me maddeningly feel unreal with my wet shift and knickers. In their showing the teacher he went to the girls toilet and pulled my trousers down but she was most shocked about the indignity unladylike and indecent manner I did not have in not to have pulled my trousers up.

“Pull them up git.”

The shock of being in the wrong vibrates to this day. Sorry I had pasta and bacon that day was given dry clothes and was well I was made well. This had the effect of making me not the outcast but in the group for someone important had come along and the whole school was agog to know what to do and what to ask me. I knew less than them.

That someone important had adopted me I knew but did not seek them out and never asked about them until it was too late to do so.

They make mistakes and do not understand the first filthy thing a child needs is not beastly women who do women but some order and responsibility and sense. Yes we need common sense to deal with this. Not something intellectual when we say we want our tea and with or without sugar cakes or butter. We do not want the health inspector to be called to quote remarkable facts about diabetics and all they have to deal with.

Because when we are children we must deal with such issues much later. Our joints need these buttery things it is only much later if we munch too long that and if we cease to grow that we no longer must make allowances for that facts of growing up. That we love society and respond to our teachers is a sure fact that love is there in the home and we can respect that when we love the house we live in we can love society.

As a whole as a ground we do get involved with many aspects of this and the other but keep it short there is too many children being interfered with their lives are towards growth and sociable behaviours not to be experimented on to make their mothers life a tidy sum of money. For how much can a woman earn in a year and how much could it cost the taxpayer if the children came to harm?

Of course having a parents who does carrots cooked in a way we do like them must help and having the vegetables done to a turn. Must be allowed to exist that and the meat cooked in a manner of speaking which mummy has learnt from some cook book called Oliver. The do make meal times more funny when mum does the funny faces as she retells some tale from the books she has been doing for the University.

“Mummy is going to become a teacher when she leaves University.”

“Practise on us mummy.”

But we need our mothers not in some despairs but for the common all round daily chores and there is nobody like our mothers. There are nothing like them to love us and respond to our needs and if they are not around? We might need the health inspector and the pudding clubs and all of that sort of folly but now let us not misbelieve that the women now in charge can think a wee bit.

“I preferred the footballers stories.”

“No they are not living lives like we do?”

“They got abused but made something of their lives.”

“But we did not?”

“No we just wallow in misery.”

“Nowhere to place our spleen in?”

“The thing is the editors do not want to know.”

“But them doctors do”?

“They found me highly unusual.”


“Yes Doc Yellow was very hopeful that I was having a incestuous affair with dad and wanted me to leave everything mum who just lost her leg and dad who was in a criminal insane ward and two kids in order to be lost in child trafficking.”

“Well leave the kids as well?”

“What he said was not my kids.”

“Sorry I asked is it the right office or you mad?”

“Look that is my name on the table he said Yellow. Dr Yellow.”

“Well thank God I thought for a moment.”

“Well the interview is over you may go.”

I guess I was at seventeen very pretty?

Ask me

This town nothing but a ghost town dad ah ha ha this town nothing but a whore house that is what it is. Look I can fuck with fifteen men in one night. Oh sugar come and fuck me too. Okay let me drink my wine first. Let us live while we may. This town nothing but a ghost town it is where we live. Look there is too much drink is there water.

“Water love is that all?”

“Have something without any water will you babe how about this lovely genus.”

“It is bitter.”

“Where is her nanny?”

“She is over there with her boyfriend.”

“What her husband is having that girl is he?”

“Got that pregnant he knows what he is doing?”

“Well his kids are sorted that is it is it not?”

“Well two household and another child on the way and her not able to earn much his ex Mrs that is he is into debt and deep thinking.”

“What matters is that she does not lose her shaggy good nature.”

“Oh that will never happen.”

“That is what her husband said and look now she is sharing this thing with her editorial.”

“Doing the editing of the laundry?”

“Stating the obvious will not help she has become too fat we need someone younger.”

“Not her too?”

“Where else can a wife who is no longer a wife go to?”

“Except to bed somewhere else her flesh can’t be seen or sought.”

“Look why should we put up with that kind of fatty tissues?”

“When did love have such odds as that?”

“The lusts in me has been consumed by too many fires for me not to make the odds work best for me.”

“I am sorry your attitude is base.”

“The beast in me needs another kind of best.”

“The best is yet to come look another one bites the dust with her udders intact.”

“Of course the dear virgin?”

“Yes and knowing your brother she will lose that tonight. He never fails.”!

“Best to let her in on this?”

“What think she heard?”

“No but she might.”

“Lousy thing says she does not fancy him.”

“No way?”

“Yes she actually crippled his erections.”

“He has gone to the cupboard to think it over and is crying.”

“Balls to all and sundry women they don’t know when a man has a erection not to stop it midway it could be harming him right away.”

“Call Prudence.”

“Oh honey I am busy.”

“Call someone he has never been rejected before could cause permanent damage to him.”

“His wallet might leave him or something?” I am bemused.

“Leave it out there he is calmly talking about his own ex girlfriend.”

“Look honey you okay?”

“Why she left me I don’t know.”

“Look honey you go somewhere with me?”

“No I don’t want to.”

“Drunk he is that drunk made him go off sex now.”

“Loath that girl.”

“Hate her too should we make her leave the house?”

“No she might be able to walk to the town and call someone and we could be in trouble.”

“Best thing is to let her leave the house voluntarily by making her unwelcome not welcome.”

“She has gone to sleep.”

“Best thing she has ever done.”

“Such beauty she looks too?”

“Well she is not really that beautiful come guys come with me I am availing the sex bomb tonight.”

“Sex crime is the deeds to our conscience we behave so improper we are impartial to our own devices and to thank the good lords we are not prudes.”

“Such thinking such baseline such a thought as you all have.”

“Whatever next I am a master of philosophy.”

“I am this woman with nothing.” I think as I lay to drown.

“Come come there are other fish to fry.”

“Stop that weeping or we will cut off your allowance and then you might be so tearful you might drown yourself.”

“I still have my nurse’s pay.”

“Won’t pay for the lavatory seat.”

“Such joys I can do without I am a democratic observer with a degree in nursing.”

“Such enjoyments pleases dad.”

“He thinks he is a policeman and what does he do all day?”

“Plays golf.”

“Just so.”

“Does it make you into the justice department?”

“No fucking, my wife deals with such matters I am only attorney. A something generous salary included perks and all.”

“You do most of the gardening in the mansion you own?”

“Bloody somebody has to do it.”

I fell asleep soon after this.

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