Chapter 7: When the Rich
When the rich think that Myra Hindley deserves a degree but not you from the good Open University and they think one is abusive to the only tutor nobody hears speak. When you disagree with the male teacher asking you to swear at him over a couple of hours. A experiment and all that one basket case is the result. Then this other woman speaks to one as if on show for coffee cups when the sister has leukaemia and they do not want to know or understand they think their coffee break will fulfil me?
I kept on trying to tell them even going with the trolley filled with food for the children but they just shrugged and said there should be segregated options and all that. Yes her father was in a wheelchair and he did not understand less than she what a woman does with a trolley when she could do it some other time? The only lesson for me because some other idiot was not able to teach at all due to restrictions of funds.
“But you cannot be a servant for the children?”
“Do you feed your children?”
“Of course I do.”
“Well come for coffee.”
“I have to go.”
“I have to go because the children are hungry I am sure you can understand?”
The teacher is so cold she can freeze there.
“The thing is teacher I do not think I may be excused?”
“Of course of course no pressure.”
“Do not speak in class as I am speaking and we have a lot to get through.”
So he goes through his list and we hear his voice speaking.
Then to make matters worse the thing has been going on for some time in some universities there is the nude model being chased by her husband as he runs to catch her nakedness. And we hear him and her in the naked ordeals of matrimony? How sexy can they be? As the animals are mating we draw in the nicer shades of growing disenchantments of them as they busk in the glamour images of their naked flesh. Aromatic and duck and all dukes and coronets and all manners of badness there is this noxious wife who is always naked in front of me and there is the husband trying to make it with her all the time and he used to be mine? Of course but there is nothing I might say or do to make it go away.
We hear them satisfy each other as we might a animal that has been fed.
So the teacher asks is this enough of a model the model has somewhere to go tonight as the husband is a bit old fashioned and the secretary will take over the modelling for tonight. Oh good what is good about it? The other one was too much for us too alive like a fish swimming. Draw that shoe. The shoe is a better image than that and I will prove this to be so.
I draw a giant shoe and there is this house in the shoe I have been homeless and this is what I like to make a shoe house because of the walking one does every day when one is homeless. The teacher was a traitor. The animals were most upset but to live another day was all they cared for.
“Good good you go ahead.”
While the Royal couple were fucking we are listening to some big issue vendor going on about the plight of the hopeless.
“The great unwashed the disconnected from society and all that?”
The royals also do save the children funds.
“Yes I get two letters a week from them to subscribe.”
“The post office must be giving them free stamps.”
“Royals always fuck that is what they are there for.”!
“You mean to make elevated marriages.”
“Things like that. She must have seen him coming.”
“Do you mean mad Jane?”
“Mad Jane did I say that I swear I forgot when did I say that sweetie and did it leave a mark on your poor brain?”
“Poverty of the wealthy is that they always need sympathy because the slightest criticism can upset the balance of their well likable faces. No do not criticise them at all just leave them with praises. Praise them praise them all the time? Even going down on ones knees to make them stand straighter higher and all that?
“Trust me it is they dislike even the thought of the poor who has been critical of earning a living which they can do because of bad criticism.”
“Sorry that is bad praise.”
“Praise the lord and there it goes.”
“Look say nice things to her.”
“Yes she is. Or was I should not be saying this about an old school friend but she can fry my brain in which she has trained as a doctor to do so. But then she tried to kill her husband that is when he began to lose weight.”
“Yes that is so.”
“Not like the Turkish Prime Minster who after him had his epilepsy went into his castle and then came out restored to his iron Russian self.”
“Do you mean it is not the Turkish prime Minster?”
“His wife would tell us?”
“She would not why should she? She would lose her position.”
“And the husband and wife had been arguing about some things.”
“Like the way of the Dolman Gardens and their way of living and behaving and he had been sort of seduced by them. He changes the furnishing at the parliament and there is nothing to do but to rest in the softer seats good for bottoms after many hours listening to the speeches on hard seats.”
“Much better they all said so.”
“Wooden benches now softer benches much softer.”
“They could now not bring in cushions.”
“They need not bother some did but there was no need.”
“Look the president is paranoid about the cushions having bombs.”
“Do you mean he liked them?”
“Bombs not at all.”
“Look he did not like to think about the feelings of this and the others.”
“Look the cushions were already in there.”
“The dirty cushions brought in germs.”
“Nobody bothers to wash them.”
“Was it a germ warfare?”
“I think he did.”
“Then he begins to say he is being poisoned.”
“Yes it sort of made him mad or something.”
“Who was poisoning him?”
“I do not know but he had his suspicious of a plot against him.”
“He had another wife or something and she and he went to a wedding and there was talk about this and the other but then he had the money to pay for the Edirne and the things with PKK which went silent as the night. Sorry I am digressing.”
“But it was his wife?”
“His speech patterns were more emotional unlike the measured tones of now.”
“His whole personality is one of iron fists.”
“He does not love his people.”
“He has put away 100,000 not money but people into hellish jails and all that because he made the cue happen by abolishing the freedoms of the press. The freedom of the press cannot be done in not without a struggle and they wanted to struggle but they were outnumbered by the armed forces sent over by the whom?
It is an army equivalent to the Russians and they do away with all that. There are the two functions and they take one from the other the president had said we can have both things in life the old and the new when he took away our freedom we lost everything. We got into madness and little pettiness and small talks about cats resembling his image. Even when one attacked a cat he would take the journal to court. That is not behaving well and free that is a dictator that is not the real is it?”
“That Turkey now is running a dictator who is with money from the Russians?”
“Of course when the Russians made us all mad they did it completely.”
“Yes Jane you can stalk me again I am going out.”
“His wife was a part of a huge conspiracy that is what I think because their marriage on the rocks and he with a walking distance from the Presidential elections and she was going to lose everything. Everything I tell you.
“Either the president is mad or we got the wrong president.”
“Yes that is the true image imagine the wrong president in the house.”
“He is not the same kind man.”
“His wife said so.”
“Who is his wife?”
“Who is everyone?”
“What are they doing?”
“To each other or to themselves?”
“Well they are acting in a weird manner.”
“There is a conspiracy out to get me and he has epilepsy then he barricades himself into his castle and then robs the people.”
“Hate being robbed.”
“It is the Russians.”
“Well how else could the president have got all that money and where from?”
“Do not be obscene work never did any credits.”
“Look even the toilets were done right.”
“The roads to journalist endeavour had a huge following. The road which housed one of the greatest journalist was given a memorial like feel.”
“It gave me the creeps as if the last journalists in Turkey.”
“Like last painter in Europe Picasso.”
“The markets had the right things in them housewives battering the salesman.”
“No he is into being secretive and into all unkindness and like the Triumph in America he is into suing the world.”
“He has the greatest following in America?”
“Yes he has about fifty law suits pending further.”
“But the one in Turkey has more.”
“A Russian conspiracy.”
“That is right a Russian conspiracy to take over the world.”
“The world leaders have been misbehaving?”
“Of course look at the Syrian President he has since gassed bombed his own people.”
“Look at all the middle Eastern war?”
“Palestine with the Palestinian prime Minster killed probably poisoned.”
“Look at the Iraqi war due to some mistake.”
“Look at this and the other?”
“The wife would know? The wife can be bought. And she had given him kids and they would be the one to suffer.”
“The wife of a man who has behaved unfaithfully is not the sane human beast which she is supposed to be.”
“A wife who is betrayed is not only mad but unkind to the world which robbed her of her man.”
“Yes I think and believe so.”
Yes I believe that all woman and man are created equal within an egalitarian world with their own wok and all manner of goodies. I believe that when one goes on the buses one is in the fullest rights to travel and not be pawed by others and not to let the bus driver know that sudden stops and starts as when one is carrying shopping can let the shopping bag come loose I believe that when a rich white lady startling says to this nice black virtuous woman give her a seat a space that it does not mean that actions can commence and we can have a lot of fun and put dung on her face.
As we are now in the stages of being at school as this is a high school with the wives in their little elements of cruelties as they don’t have the rights over their husbands as their husbands are mating with their boys and all that sort of thing. The women now at some cross purposes do not know that they cannot do this as well but they need to be cruel having a female friend means they have to be nice all the time and the male has the money so what do these women do they come on the buses and have a day out ranching about with the poor and making themselves indispensable to the comic relief.
I am sure if Piggy can see me now in this last stage of having my hair turn whiter than ever as the former wife of his elopes with yet another black man and says to her friends it is her fault it is all her fault. My dear the babies are they his no but I would not have had them if he had been round and round me. My dear is there anything I can do fetch the surgeon so that your smug face can be removed? Not necessary as I am now a screen legend and have no other thought in my head but to be there forever chasing you round and round the bend.
A sorry tale was told by this famous trio the grand total is she makes all the money and has now banned me from making my share as she has the rights over my paintings my writing and all that so the thing is there is no money from my work and she makes millions a week. The thing is what with the smash hit series and all that the Big Bang theory is one of her masterpiece is it not? Penny and co and the love interests all she? The females in the Charles Angels all she what an actress she is.
Surrounded by her all the time both in real life and outside reality I cannot but think that she is there too in the surgery in the hospital and everywhere. The thing is what is she doing to me? The crippled looked like her is it her? The little things in life are one has to behave in the proper dictates of ethics and if one is ethically all in the right without any respect or dues owned but to herself as she has had the twins as she has the boyfriends and wants to be married too. What of course he is my husband as she is shagging the whole of the black industry.
“I must have my cake and eat it too.”
“I must eat the entire world and have it too.”
“I am in the right because I married him.”
“Reader Jane married him.”
“She as the good wife who stays at home all day long cooking up ideas for his demise and his departures from this world too.”
“Of course he has signed the prenuptials and that makes him putty in her hands.”
“Look the cake was blessed with the church’s tears and in holy wedlock we must now burn and burn forever as this is the final straw I gave him two sons and heirs.”
“It was not his.”
Whatever I tried to make the marriage work dressing down all the time. Do you know how much it costs for the negligee I wore for him?
“How much pray say?”
“A lot of money.”
“You see she has a lot of money and still she wants more.”
“I have a spending habit.”
“Yes she is into big real estate.”
“Yes she is more cheese sparing than anyone when she goes out she expects everything for free and nothing comes from her pockets but good advise that she will pay the IOU’s then her bloody husband has to pay for the damn thing. I guess that is why she is still married to him.”
“Wallet is so vastly enchanting.”
“The others do not have the same amounts.”
“He does not spend his money wisely as she holds the purse strings.”
“There is twenty five pounds a poem for me and five thousand pounds every time she writes a poem that is because she is a relative of the queen.”
“May we be blessed with such another merchant?”
The antlers can tell you on the car she used in one of her Christmas stories when she is given a taxi lift to her marriage. I think it is no use behaving like that at all but she thinks because nobody can share her good fortune that she is one of life’s little angels. The angel is now no more she is a curse on the table of Hollywood showing what superstardom means to the little blonde with everything in her striving for more and more. I want more men and more attention more for me and less for the likes of you and the poverty is? I am related to the queen. Stand out of my way because of this I can and may use force to take whatever I want.
As we all simper and simper to stir the cause of our distress is that madam the poor woman has only got on the bus and your friend tries to trap her into falling? What next I was not even there. Not me at all it was my mum.
“Madam there is this and that to share with the rest of you loaded people.”
“Well yes the more loaded one is the more one has trouble reaching for the wallet.”
“The thinkers of this situation are that the queen has 37 and a half million on her household budgets and we have to not be able to scream when we are given less than six thousand a year.”
“We have nothing to declare but to be polite and let all the black men shag me.”
“I think because poor Jane had to be shagged by them before she learnt not to do so.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well she had many black man before she fell in love with the Eddie.”
“Who has a wife or something?”
“The wife must be looking after the children with her own children avoiding child care and nursing staff fees.”
“Poor woman that is?”
“Whatever next it is not true?”
“Well who looked after poor Jane?”
“Her mother who was a doctor.”
“See she has nothing to hide at all.”
“Poor Jane having this and that acting ability becomes a PA to this giant director and he and she become lovers?”
“So in love.”
“Yes so in love.”
“I leave him and her to it.”
“But she has one of her berks of friends attack me.”
“They attacked me on their wedding day.”
“There is no proof?”
“Every proof because they said to the mummy bear that they would make her worth it.”
“You mean worth her while?”
“Yes the worthy matron having the ability to be able to bear anything at a cost thought it less costly to run then she said inside or out.”
“I said outside.”
“So the gang which mummy bear had helped themselves to me by knifing me.”
“It was not Jane’s fault?”
“She took everything from me and I had nowhere to go to.”
“She made me destitute she set my husband against me and told him this and the other that I had no need of him that I did not need him meant he could do with her what he wanted and Jane is very beautiful indeed?”
“Indeed very beautiful and very convincing about her love interests.”
“She was what?”
“Yes he fell in love with her for being innocent and naive and all that.”
“Totally false you see totally false because when she was at school she would take the girls into the toilet and see their vaginas.”
“To see if it was any different from hers.”
“She did that because the girls worshipped her?”
“She was the ideal beast which set the girls against one another in competition to seek her out and say nice words to her.”
“She had benefited from remaining a virgin until she met the Mongol.”
“Who was her husband?”
“She married him.”
“He marries her constantly every year renewing their vows.”
“The prenuptial which he signed was a 70 million one which states clearly he owes her if they divorce.”
“There is no possibility that he and she can divorce now not without him paying that amounts?”
“None which is when the cake and the eating comes in.”
“There is nothing on her brain but love?”
“Yes it is a hefty love interest.”
“She works hard every week?”
“Day and night for the camera.”
“Yes she has made that amounts for everyone that her mother is proud of her.”
“Mine is not?”
“Her mother is a doctor and doctors make better mothers.”
“Stars make the better mothers.”
“Yes they are all in the galaxies discovering emotional intensities.”
“There is no possibility that they can ever be married.”
“With that black guy?”
“She needs the money in order to marry him that is why she is working day and night and wants the money as well otherwise there is no pound of flesh is there?”
“Pound of flesh that she can become this thug?”
“A thug who can rob the poor in order to prove that nobody is watching and witnessing her do so that she can take and take from me and it is meaningless to all of the others because it is authority doing this and like the experiment which has been done by Mailgram it is a sure sign that the experiment does work that how many people follow me daily in the hopeful intent of derailing me because as in Mailgram’s experiment that authority means just that the authority which says do this and this and there is nothing the person can do because they lack authority and it is a good place and there is nothing there but this and the other.”
“We are emotional.”
“Look they knifed and nearly had me murdered and they are politely saying that I am being not polite to them.”
“No logic at all in the world.”
“None whatsoever because they say that theirs when they do come to harm are bad for them but the rest of the world can go hang.”
“Never would they say so that is impolite.”
“Of course but feel their emotional intensities when one of theirs die.”
“They can feel it for a century and they live for a century so they do not forget.”
“No they are too thin for that.”
“Look it is not true that when they die they feel it?”
“I am not opening this can of worms they feel the richer classes are their own and they do not say anything to us but the great unwashed.”
“We are herds to them and they herd us round and round they take away the income they take away the homes as if this is their will and power to do so. Amazon boss had 50 billion and the staff do not have toilet breaks.”
“What is this story about?”
“Love interest with the intestines off.”
“Who did she not marry cannot marry?”
“He is black and poor.”
“Is that why all the black movie stars are asking for a pay rise?”
“Poor Jane cannot even conceive of it but she did conceive his children unfortunately he is now looking after them while she has taken off with a number of movies which have set the world alight by the lesbian nun and the space walker full of emotional intent.”
“We are now aware that in the galaxies we can be emotional which is very nice and all that but I thought when they did walk on the moon that it was all about emotional intensity. I might have been mistaken but Jane now having discovered that there is emotional intensity on the galaxies has made moving images of them. Besides from wanting to make movies about women being chased round by their husband whom she does to a turn because she is very emotional when she kills him.”
“Yes they are the best bit.”
When the woman said to me she was half blind with an Irish burr and then came out with it that she was hungry and destitute. Hungry and destitute. I only have the smallest things in the house. I gave her chicken from my meagre resources and we shared the chicken. She was not known to be anywhere and she rode her bike with ease.
Then when my resources went down even further she made me buy her chips and then she said she did not have enough money for the things in life. Her means were not tested adequately and she did not only have a doctor for a father and mother but that she had become estranged from her family. I was so sorry to hear about how wild husband had let her down and the marriage had been strained because he had married someone else her son was in China teaching English and becoming a doctor or something.
She had taken the social services to court that she had been medically neglected. That her medical condition meant that she had life threatening illness. That her blindness was increasing that she had no phone connection because if she did call me she would be cut off.
Then she made me call her so we could discuss bookish ideals and all matters we did and I enjoyed our chats as much as she. The church in question were laughing with glee, two men came upon her and they did have a moment but with what did it mean?
I did not know the joke had a play on because of our communication and then she said she would rewrite my poems. I let her do in one evening and then did not change a thing. How she with her blind eyes could read every little sense into them and change them totally? What did it mean having a computer is if the rough draft is tampered with the other things can take hold? I was scared for some reason frightened that she would destroy my poems.
We had the chicken and she was in a mellow mood she said these poems will make you.
I had not phoned her for some time after that then she phoned and said she could not pay for her phone and would I? Of course I said and we chatted and then she asked how did it go? Oh well I have a collection out. Oh good.
“All my own?”
“Well a trifle edited by someone else as well.”
Then she is in a rage because the poems were not her own.
She comes into the class I am in and writes the best poems of the lot and there is nothing to do but vacate the place.
Moira and I were going to the cinema in the new one which was the in Moorgate. I travelled there and there she was fat and not healthy looking. We went on the wrong date and both of us disappointed went home. But before we did we had to discuss this and the other and Moira kept on looking behind her as if somewhere someone was with her and she was afraid of being caught.
“Is this yours Moira you should not ride not with being blind?”
“I can see sometimes.”
“In the day time I can see perfectly.”
“Only blind at night?”
I thought of owls and other creatures.
Moira had come on her bicycle.
“You always ride on your bike Moira?”
“Yes of course.”
“But Moira is there no problem?”
“None it keeps me fit.”
She did not look fit to me.
“How much weight did you gain?”
“I think I am fourteen stones she told me.” She is nearer eight stone but she had put on the over coat too thick.
“How many layers do you have Moira?”
“Is it not dangerous with so many layers and in your condition too?”
“No I do not have too much to do.” She told me out of the blue. I thought of being Fay and all matter of this and the other. There was too many people locked inside this talk. I did not know this woman she just did not make sense and there was this beastly thought going through both our heads that we would get material for writing from our encounter.
That we did not even care to be seen with one another that her fine friends might recognise her and approach her so destroying her jest. Meant she did not want to appear unaccommodating but she had to change. Not herself but her clothes she was pleased with herself no end.
“Not many layers.”
“How can you see through this traffic?” She was growing bored with the conversation she said high and dry and kept on looking over her shoulder for something.
“Is there someone else coming?”
“Emily thought she might come too.”
“Oh I don’t care for that I am leaving.”
“It is only from the Angel?” she continued.
“I thought you lived in Hackney.”
“No Emily might come from the Angel.”
Emily is the very same as Moira but that did not interfere with our chat. The thing was Moira is a great actress and a great impersonator.
“We missed the film do you have any money to buy another ticket?” asked Moira.
“Not on me Moira we missed the show.”
“Why did not they give you a travel card?”
“I got the time wrong did I?” asked Moira.
“No I got the day wrong.” I said to her.
“I am not unwell enough.” She said.
The thing I thought is most interesting the whole thing can become apart whatever next? There is nothing on her mind but to double deal and tell lies. My dad always said a novelist is a liar but the thing was I did not understand what kind of a novelist Moira was.
I had my ticket on the next day I went to see this moving film the next day and enjoyed it so much a unhappy Iranian movie and Moira must have been told or seen me because I did not could not get tickets ever again.
But on that day, Moira refused a cake and saying she had become over weight and I went to the canteen did not find anything under a ten pounds and left.
“We don’t see enough of each other always on the phone.”
I went with my travel card to the train and sought solace on looking on at the passengers. All smartly dressed the brains of the establishment and me the great unwashed. This is the price of creativity I thought? That Moira was a rich girl a lady in fact I did think.
The ladies who feed on me?
“She is after my husband.”
“I would have walked twenty miles for that man.” She keeps on saying to me I would have walked twenty five miles for him.”
“Just to shag him and he shags me and leaves me for another one.”
“What is Moira saying?”
“Are you with someone?”
“No my man left me when our son was two and I had to bring him up myself with the financial situation not helped my parents did not help me with that as we had not spoken because of him.”
“Thank God I got this place although run down and I have to paint it all the time and it is damp.”
“Did you say a dump?”
“More like no it is the best place I have been in.”
“Look someone came last night it was pleasant for me.”
“Was it your first encounter?”
“No do not tell me Moira.”
“Things happened to us.”
“Nothing happened I know you are a lady.”
“After eighteen years of yearning for just one man.”
“I had this one all to myself.”
“Well good luck Moira.”
“But what makes a woman love just one man?”
“Pigeons are the same they mate for life.”
“I don’t know.”
That she was pretending to me somehow that she was near me in intelligence I knew also but what to make of her following me all the time pretending to be this little lost soul? I could never understand the wealthy but there is a price to understanding and I had to be patient and look the facts in the face this could give me a wealth of ideas for my own novel or it could also destroy me and I had to take a chance on this.
I had no idea than she was our poor Jane.
What confused me was the reason what for? The reasons did not become apparent for some time even years being in this place not knowing the reason then she came out with it.
I was doing art when she came out with the facts when she went and got her clothes off and poised in naked for a life drawing class in the Queens square. Her husband came and took her away. What went wrong was I knew the husband as the former boyfriend and this was the reason? I had not spoken to him for some years when he had asked me permission to marry his Jane that is when I had said goodbye to him and him to me. But Jane did not could not abide this fact she thought we had feelings for each other but I had become fat with a moustache and a lip which was damaged hair bald and white and there was nothing of me left. That I looked unattractive no competition at all did not even matter Jane wanted to end me.
That year also I had damaged my tendon and it was painful to walk six flight of stairs or was it ten. Our Jane who had friends did not even make it possible she wanted somewhere higher that I could climb and had to do GNVQ in two years instead of one.
The college then had a accident and had to be shut down. The writs and all that they had two damages done to them and they had to pay a lot of money. So Jane’s little romance with herself meant that she was doing a lot of harm to ordinary people. She had cost already the other college which had given me Poetry and now this art school too. Then when in the Open University she does something worse she comes as the tutor turned Dyslexic official without a bra and seeks to tantalise me with her charms. I sack her and she sacks me.
“A tutor should never go to a scholar’s house without a bra.”
“That she did some work?”
“I could not concentrate wanted to know when she will pop out.”
“She kept on saying her boyfriend and she had just shagged.”
“She had to drive from Hackney.”
“Sorry but that she did not want the job?”
“Yes she needed to destroy my psychology degree.”
“I said no to her sorry did not want her in my house I am a good woman and do not like them things popping all round with the boys outside chanting for her.”
“Not at all the thing.”
“I do not mean to be rude but whatever next a dyslexic tutor should not be a star or is there too many jobs going for her?”
“I lost my temper sorry.”
Of course she had been masquerading as she is an actress and she wanted to practise her burr and her Irish is impeccable. I have heard her on the radio everyone thinks it is so funny.
Well it was so to me too? Well you see I only got for the two plays I wrote twenty five dollars and they did not pay anymore. Not at all. I had also to send them all the way to America and that cost. The poor are living of the lap of the Gods are they not?
Our last call as this character came when she said she had been operated on the other night and had taken her entails out in the corridor. I thought what a thing to say and did not share my opinions with her by now distancing myself that she had somehow things not right with her mind that her thinking was strange that she did not only hate me but everything I have she wanted she was going to waste me and there was nothing to think or feel but blind panic.
That she followed me to the Torino which is a place of poetry and there in the guise of this character did poems so well and disliked by us two poor Jane’s and me we did discover that the girl saying she Emily was not a good character that she did write good poems but that her character was devalued because she slept around and not always in a romantic manner.
“I was walking with some silk.” Said the character.
“No I meant the old silk found in charity shops.” She was cool.
“How many charity shops do you go to?”
“We have many in Hackney.”
“Poor Emily did I see and she told me she had become evicted from her flat and I was thinking.”
“I thought you being so good?”
“I am not good.”
She hangs up the phone.
I ring her on the spur of the moment one day and she says there is a fire in Hackney next door to where she lives. I am not in the mood because by now she has answered the door by intercom and this makes me realise she is not who she is saying she is.
“Why ring me now?”
“I felt like it missed you Moira.”
“Oh thank you but busy writing.” She hangs up the phone her publisher is coming I think.
I ring her a second time this time she is amiable she says her neighbours house got gutted down to the ground and me behaving well. She told me she sat on the wall looking on. For some reason she said it thrilled me. It thrilled her I meant not to say a word but somehow she got the point. I did understand. What were you not evacuated somewhere else? Did not the house fall down next to your flat?
Of course not I was quite safe.
I was because of my ill health and all matters outstanding but the thing was did not make it on time to the doctor’s appointment. Missed it totally forgot to ring them and they did cancel my doctor. I missed too many of the appointed times you see.
I am also having RNIB as I am progressing going blind. I mean to say this there is a centre near where I live and it is so nice. I thought of you the moment I went in there.
“Sheltered centre for poets.”
I went a bit silent again.
“Continue Moira continue I am dying to hear what happened next.”
She reads another poem to me and this time I praise her indecently. Her mellow mood is so mellow by then she further continues with her jest or joke or whatever it was.
So did not go anywhere but to accident and emergency spent the night in a trolley. The nightmare is that I thought the operation would go successful and that I would have the right treatments. But then the operation did not go as planned and my intestines came apart and caused me a lot of pain.
“Well they would.” I said as quickly as I could. I can imagine her intestine on the ground while she wrote and polished her poems. Also I could not believe I was having this talk with her. Her Irish burr slipped a few decades and then went a pitch again.
“Is there any scarring Moira?”
“Not that I can see.”
“Well you know you are blind.”
“What of course I am.”
A lot of pain and there is nothing but this pain in my intestine you see. And then the fires burning in the next house to mine and those fires kept on burning while I watched from the safety of my window.
The fires? Yes the fires well I am all done in. I am paraphrasing but many thoughts passed through my mind many thinking I did mean now to finish my little novel about the elves and everything this did pass through me and that there can be somewhere this other beastly world and this mythical world of make believe but they do not know me and do not like to make me happy I have taken to writing poems do you want to hear them I wrote these on the operating table!
I did hear one or two and they were about the NHS.
“Yes the services were lousy.”
“At least you got back on your feet after your ordeals.”
“Did you have anything to eat?” I asked.
“Only coffee if you care to come and feed me?”
My dear Moira with the Irish burr I thought.
“No Moira it is not on because my liver is hardening and I have to rest.”
“That is dangerous that is can kill you.” She said smiling agreeably I feel it in her voice.