Dead Stuck up Bitch

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Summary

Who are we really and what do we make in this life what jobs schools money and all that we do has an affect on our psych yet what do we learn in school has no real beneficial affects on us Our families do not prepare us for school our lives do not make us competent we are the slaves to the system of what we did back at school but if there is no background knowledge we do not get on in life so where do we start?

Genre:
Drama / Humor
Author:
pencil
Status:
Ongoing
Chapters:
7
Rating:
n/a
Age Rating:
16+

Chapter 1

My family are familiar to the police, they are known villains and they need not bother hiding from them. But the thing was the family also do not know themselves. This is a mirror image of what and who they are and where they came from and what impact on society they have had. That their lives are seemingly filled with bliss and ignorance is not true they go to University they seek their imaginations in their own movies and they destroy culture.

“Take the key give it to the child and the house belongs to that child.”

“Magic.”

“Everything belongs to the child?”

The child is the centre of the world.

That was when they had the image of Mary Hopkins on BBC 2 when she was a child.

“Mary Mary quite contrary where is your heart?”

“Napkins there”

“Where?”

“Miss why does she always louses up the game?”

“Ring a ring a roses and we all drop down tired.”

“You scored own goal.”

“You sat on the napkin.”

“What I never did? Oh yes I have sorry.”

“She is doing it on purpose miss to upset us.”

“Let us grab her to make her more into the game spirit.”

“What no way.”

“Look how fast she now runs.”

“Mary Mary quite contrary when did you fornicate and find out?”

This began where?

My birth place is ?

In the orange groves of Cyprus I wandered why the clouds formed and reformed and why there was air and why the water was there at all. Why the varied lush of the grass and where everything was and what had happened to me and why I was there and not somewhere else?

I wanted to be sure and there was nobody to ask questions from everyone had something to do and there was me asking away until they said they would drop from it. My mouth would drop from asking so many questions. They would laugh or smile and then give me bread and feta holloumi and say they would swear I was born with a question in my head. There was no denying that the hollumi was good and that the sunshine made me want to sneeze a lot but never did. I languished as if the days would be like that forever and ever. I would climb the trees and eat from its fruits like a young bird all day long or sat in the shade thinking of this and the other. I would be walking in the mud and the grass underneath my feet would feel warm and tender.

“ This is stones. Those are not reptiles? All round me grandpa.”

“What had happened to make you think it were snakes?”

“Snake still there had eaten eight of the children I had heard about them.”

“Auntie lied to you.”

“No did she?”

“Yes no such thing as a snake here not in this place, peace is all round us.”

“Where is the snake?”

“It is over there.”

“I can’t see it?”

“Look grandpa behind you.”

“Look it is nothing of the sort.”

“Helicopter scared him off.”

“Next time look behind you grandpa.”

Grandpa went and locked himself inside the house and said he was not to be disturbed again.

Then of course one does age so the disasters happen and before one realises one has become what once was odd.

Monica was my disaster or Jane as she was known took everything I ever owned.

That my young body would be the same now wrecked with the pangs of age and the disaster of lack of sunshine. I am unmade like a bed. Memorising the past kept me sane in this insane debauched world where the taker is given everything and the giver is not even thought of.

As this imp of a child I was about five back then there was nothing but honest curiosity. I felt pangs of guilt and nothing like pain there was no pain even when things got bad there was not much to swear at.

There is nothing else to share I would ask another question and they would feed me and leave me alone to do some more work and gossip. Their gossips would consist with mainly what to do with me I did not belong there. I would be humiliated humbled and left to rot they had to do something about me as I was gifted child.

Greying grandmothers would be coming to see what I was doing and molest the hell out of the grandparents that I had nowhere to be placed that they were stranded with a wild thing and I was going to get wilder as the years went along.

“A beautiful animal.”

There is not much I can give her and there is everything to my other children said my Nan and there was an end of it she has so much talent she can earn her own keep. One of my children destroys and the other wants to create so I will send them away to Britain where they can live their dreams and not to mend or destroy. This warfare is their only constancy and it brings peace and harmony back to us. This would also mean they would neither destroy each other nor create they will equalise one another.

All day long I would try to be useful and then this other fiend would come and destroy it. There was in my mind nothing I could have done to make her not do so. I would cry out but before I had time she would go elsewhere not aware of why I am crying and there is not much in me that is anything but chaotic resentment.

Nan would say do not show her how you feel just do not show her what it is you care about.

Do not show her did not show her? How did she know I cared about that thing?

“Because you showed her how you felt now go and redo the task.” I would go grumbling as if in hate as if in love. There was nothing but this haste to do the task again as if this new task was too big to huge as if there was this huge task master who would move the moment I left the brick wall and topple the entire building.

I would try sweeping the alley and the passage babysitting and making it my job to do all this as a toddler I was not a very good babysitter. I think mum sat on her my sibling but it might have been me she said it was me. We swapped identities somewhere I do not know when but we had to otherwise it would never do that she the mum was the destructive one let loose on my young mind would have meant us being taken from the family and fostered forever. I do not know if this would have made us better perhaps different less difficult ?

“You should never tell fibs.”

“I am always telling stories are they fib?”

“But there is everyone telling stories about themselves including you grandmother.”

“Go and eat.”

“I will.”

Grandmother would not betray by the merest flicker of her eyelid if she resented me but what she disliked most of all was to be thought common ordinary and I once told her she was she never forgave me and never forgot and when some years passed she walked in line from her Pink and the other blind woman asking me if she was common ordinary and like them when she had a mind?

We all tell stories about ourselves and who we believe we are. Most of the time we are consumed with the good intentions which we have always almost been and done and did not do. That our intentions were good that is what everyone says when they say they did not mean it at all at the time their intentions were good.

What matters are the acts which follow do not them? I meant no harm is never that is that? We invent ourselves all the time we are the mother’s of our own inventions and we do invent all the time. My Nan after murdering eight of her children said she just put them outside so that she could go to the toilet. Not indoors she did not mean any harm would any mum do that to their own child?

Grandmother was repeatedly raped by her half brother that she did not grow up with but he came and took her and she was forced into marrying him. Her father arranged the match would not fork out a penny if she had not married the half brother. The half wits she called them.

That is why she rejected her own children when they smiled at her and fought against the intrusion every night into her. But she did in the end give in when she could no longer work. She did give in to his demands because he had learnt the art of courting her and when she married him she was half paralysed.

“I lost my lands and inheritance he tricked me.”

“He used tricks in order to subdue me.”

“You lot with your lust for life will never understand what it means to me.”

“Grandmother don’t cry.”

“I rage and pay penitence.”

“Great grandfather arranged the match?”

“There was no other match for the likes of her.”

“Why the likes of her?”

“Because she was a brilliant woman.”

“And bright woman must be kept down.”

“That is not true?”

“It is look at women down through the history books when they are bright they are kept down like dogs and treated with meanness and not with sweetness especially if they are good they are made impure and bad.”

“They smell?”

“Their breaths stink with the venom.”

“That we shall never know”?

“That we do know because of Kahlo and then Sylvia Plath and then others like them. Freda Kahlo had a coach accident twice and lost her leg and spinal injury she had to use a mirror in order to paint. In her bed as a therapy.”

“That she was nearly a doctor?”

“She could never be anything because she could not stand.”

Both women killed themselves.

That is twice brilliant minds lost their path because of others.

“Plath had to take in women in order to do the bills.”

“She had a list of women visitors.”

“She did what?”

“Yes it is unfortunate is it not?”

“What about that?”

“Yes it is about want.”

“Kahlo had a journey to perform and she did she went to Paris and the next day shot herself because her other leg turned to gangrene.”

“Old news.”

“It is want.”

Something to do with lusts and passionate contempt and the greed for the land which he thought should be his and his only.

So I invented this granddad figure that was kindly and good natured and my mum supported me because she saw him in that way too being Pink’s daughter did not help her at all. Pink was a former husband’s daughter but the husband when he did not want his wife he fled and never returned to pick up the pieces ever again. In the whore house being next door and the familiarity of the wife behaving strangely at home there the educated man had walked out on her fearing for his own safety and his wife not with a penny to her name.

You see even in the orange groves one had to live on bread and money but that the man said I am off and pretending to be dead meant he did not return ever and did not make it to anything but the lows of her widowhood when she had to submit to her father’s wishes and lost her inheritance.

That the second had been an engineer and had benefited from asbestos. His face the proof of the disease as it had been itching now had cancer written there and death and she disliked him no longer but wanted him to have all she could give him including her daughter her only child Pink.

So granddad had his half niece. Sorry did I say something shocking? As granddad was gobbling the entire household he did not seem to care for anything but his own appetites and grandma was a bad cook.

Most people in those times believed in that wish that a mother would never harm her own children. But I did not know this but when the snakes died it was thought that in that family the entire clan would be wiped out. That grandma had left the children with huge snakes who would come and strangle them as soon as an adult left the scene.

No grandma did not mean any harm at all.

Sorry I am all tangled up in this massive plot who is this new daughter? Well it is Pink’s child the lunatic who liked to destroy everything I built. The thing is very simple it is a plot written by an idiot and the idiot’s children who bred in the half climate of civil murders and contempt and all that the racial inequalities had bred.

In a country without law and order because we all wanted home rule but had no policing nothing but our know how to survive and we are bandits and believe in blood feuds. Confused?

Blood feuds and we fed on our courage and animal tenacities.

Under British rule we had been able to sleep at nights.

Then we were woken with the bang of the revolutionary Greeks and we were swept into the avalanche of politics. Invasions followed and we lay fallow and then there was all kinds of unkindness underhandedness and the home rule did not benefit anyone but the Brits. The Greeks made a huge deficit and there is the end of it. After profiteering a lot and then there is the income tax returns and nothing on our shoulder but angels counting what went right with us and what went wrong.

“Robbed and murdered we had been.”

“No way.”

“Robbed and raped and murdered?”

“In that order?”

“It depends on your tastes.”

You see we had no rights as human citizens we did not know what to make of a fridge or a freezer. No we kept everything in the sand because it kept it cool and the baskets were in there too with the things. Milk we milked the herd and sold what was left over and if there was some leftover we made cheese of that.

There was not much to ask for when we saw a car why we were so thrilled that there was such a thing we leapt to drive the damn thing not thinking that there was two in the entire Cyprus.

“Privately owned and those in the 1930’s me dear.”

“You see people lie about their age.”

“Because of ageist people like you what would an 18 year old want with a seventy year old so we dye our hair get the waistline sorted and that is job well done.”

“Crooked to the core all of you.”

“By the time we bring on the University degree in both continents and then fathered a lot of children because our wives won’t give us the time of day and it turns into divorce then we make the headlines because we are older.”

“Time waits for no one.”

“True but what of us?”

“You are of course delighted with our presence.”

“No I was not.”

“Lump it.”

Pink the idiot cripple was raped and had a daughter. Pink had a daughter a destructive self willed child. Called Zeks who had a good deal towards making me a housebound out cast, she said, “ to call me mother.”

“I am religious and good and have a husband.” She was not entirely suitable but she was the only thing to a mother I would know.

“Zeks you the mother of that how did you manage to bring her into this world?”

“By squeezing so hard.”

And there is this joint laughter.

Zeks did laugh the most.

Then she laughed out loud like that Turkish opera when the woman has seven husband’s.

“Not done in Turkey they do not do such things wives do not have seven husband’s.”

“No they don’t true.”

“Only in that opera.”

“It should be banned for being salacious.”

“Delicious wit?”

“No it is scandalous.”

“Disapprove totally seven husbands for women.”

Back when humour did not enter into it. In the mid 60’s when we were children and had a lot of growing to do. In the top floor flat with the food down the corridor with the step trying to become a kitchen and the dishes I washed on the step the sink filled with bubbles and all that no tray at all and footsteps all the time coming and going.

It casts a chill into my veins to this day what a narrow thing she had been. She got into everything was spoilt to the point of rotten. Then she was sent away like parcel post to learn how to earn her own living. She hated this more than anything wanted to stay at home and do nothing at all.

Her mother Pink did nothing at all not even walk for the next forty years after she drunk her youth away but the daughter was seen to cared for she had got married and matured her destructive tendencies but the thing was she did not ease into civilised behaviours. Hates and hatred grow in this manner.

The thing was she had stunted growth which meant this was her only complaint! She did not get enough food and all that lack of nutrition as a young girl meant she had constant stomach bugs. The other thing was she was sent away to this school where she could not get out. Her family did not see her and she had to do a lot of water fetching and gardening.

That her father went after two years and saw her in the garden doing the gardening with the roe and all that sharply bending and making her hands bleed and he said to his wife we must take her back we must take care of our own child.

“She is ours not someone we have found from the street.”

There is no doubt that grandmother set us apart that she favoured her more than me and she did so because Pink her only sin she loved more than anything else.

“I can’t give her any land but her child will be seen to.”

And she gave her daughter all she could in order to make up for the man who sat on that girl and made her into an imbecile.

When her son in law got rid of the snakes. That is the self dreadful and the adopted father Salih he was younger than and did not know where to tread what to make of the situations in that house he did not know that there was pitfalls of hell so he reminiscences and did not only shudder at how he had been duped by his good nature.

But he did not even want to think how he ended in that little room behaving with proper regard to a woman whom he disliked more than he should have liked. Grandmother said perfect match and it was done.

You see it could only get better with marriage comes love and understanding and all manner of things. Children cement the relationship and then of course there is the future bright for the ones who are now free to live in a small room with their only husband and the children gone they can live and a worthy existence.

“So grandmother sold mother to have her room back?”

“Yes because it is very hard living four five people within a confined space.”

But Salih was done for.

He was done for he said so he was done for.

Because of this she said she could not forgive him at all unless he married her granddaughter whom the child. This wilful destructive child did not acknowledge her mother because she was no relation to an imbecile.

But anything but mother because she hated Pink and being called Pink’s daughter maddened her to such an extent she would die of shame or kill for the name of being not the daughter. She hates me would say Pink she hates me more than she hates him. And she would snarl at the odd man whom now she detested more than anyone else.

“How pretty Pink is today?”

“Pink is very pretty.” Would nod her Niece- daughter- sister, for incest in that part of the world was so common that it spread like a nature. There was nothing anyone could do but to count the rising cost of the blood banks which made the population certainly of dying out.

Another cargo went and smashed into another one while driving towards the blood banks.

For not only were they marrying and interbreeding but they did not know about anything: birth control how to contain the epidemic and maddeningly how to stop the disaster which was happening.

Blood banks ran out of money Greek side would have some?

The torturous journeys back and forth and the hospital now their doorstep as their beloved is dying.

The whole population is dying from a disease we have no clue what it is about.

The breeding the marriages to first cousins and the asides which everyone said was nicer to the taste and senses as they knew the person and it felt good to know the marriage partner as one was going to spend the whole of one’s life to them.

“Arranged marriages to total strangers were taking their toil there was no short supply what to do?”

“Do not marry at all.”

“Left on the shelf never my reputation is ruined already.”

Mother’s reputation was not only in smithereens but ruinations set in very early. In her life she was a bit carefree she told us so. Stories about what she got up to all this in a manner which a eight or ten year old should never been told hoping that I did not remember it and so did not we. We knew it by heart.

Her reputation apparently had been ruined by a total stranger who got engaged to her. But before or after that she had a policeman and another one but the final straw came when she got engaged in a full blaze of publicity. She was still 18 years old. Hungry greedy for life and love and she went head first and dived in.

My adopted mother was not delighted neither to be so sold short.

So her father in law made her marry in a barn she thought all the wedding guests had not come but they had no idea that the new venue was a barn. That the money had not been paid at the little Hilton and that her composure went totally chaotic when the guests came irking with smiles and innuendoes marrying in a barn for what a come down it is to be seen in such circumstances but the animals have been butchered and the kebab is rolling on the skewer and it is being done nicely.

There is enough food but what of the elegance which she had taken for granted would be hers? No saucers no cups this vulgar disliked person this woman sat at the top with her see through wedding gown of mauve and shimmering laces looking fat and buxom and healthy but what about the surroundings there is not much to ask when a man is there beside her looking at her with adoring eyes and adroitly trying to take off somewhere else and this did not harm him or her?

Duly married in a barn and half the guests arriving in some other place when the night came the groom raped the bride and that was the end of discussion.

In those days when a married man raped his wife it was not rape at all it was what was known as congeniality rights. A woman would never marry a man she did not want to bed did she?

“See no blood.”

“I have no blood because I am ...”

“No blood.”

“Why no blood tell me?”

“I was a virgin. I am giving the virgin birth.”

That is me who is inside her by then.

But there is all this and the other what of it?

“It is all her fault?”

“Whose?”

“Mother’s.” She called grandma her mother.

“I gave the virgin birth like the Virgin Mary.”

“Fucking heck.” Said dad, “We’ve all been there know the place don’t say such words.”

“Don’t want to dance.” Swore mummy at his back.

“Look at me there are these people watching us be agreeable.”

“There is no need you humiliated me on purpose having the forgetfulness of having our wedding in a barn like an animal do you realise what this would mean?”

“Yes father saved a lot of money.”

“I will show him.”

“What a start to this marriage what a life you will get in returns I will repay with interest.”

“How much to do tonight.”

“How do you mean?”

“How you do the couple of the week?”

“We just wondered where the animals have been placed.”

“Out in the fields.”

“Sorry to have made off with their barn.”

“Don’t worry it is a hot night they will just lie down and rest.”

“Why kick me in the shine?”

“We have to grin and smile now grimace to smile.”

Not true they do not now break bones and all that if they disagree they go politely and divorce.

“Of course if they don’t find you a virgin they leave you like leftover meat and say the meat was done to death and call it ugly and call you names where you can’t even sell your own to pay for the meals.” Mother said to me as if she was drying her tears which were now drooping hardy and stronger as the formative years had made her an ambush.

She is in the barn having the wedding do? Yes she did not enjoy her wedding it was one of them flops so to speak.

So the groom was so to speak forgetful and did not pay the venue and they cancelled the arrangement. So the guests and the wedding was diverted into the barn where the animals had just been and the hygiene was not ecstatic.

“Filthy straw all over the place on my nice violet dress too.”

“I will show you.” Said dad.

Some years have passed and now we are in England.

That is my real mum my biological mum trying to come forth and we do not want her anywhere near us because she does not can’t stand up for the likes of me. Some fiend from her past who can destroy her marriage.

She appeared to remind mother of who she really wanted in life and set her onto us the demoniac purge. The thing was she said she would pinch us until we bleed like she would grind her teeth and ask if there was any blood when we would too suffer?

The thing is when uncle said to wash his back was that a pass or a statement? Uncle Salih with the honeyed eyes did not ask me of that he said he liked his wife to do it instead and if she had her back washed by me then she would wash his. I washed her bloody back for ten years until she did not even bother not showing me her front.

I would spend five minutes and she would laugh too soon dear then she said nobody loved her. Love nobody loved me neither.

“I will wash your back dear.”

“No thanks.”

I have never seen anyone’s eyes like his except in Russia. It is what mum is married to. Now his widow and living very well indeed in fact cheaply and endearingly well.

They destroyed the other one they destroyed her because mum was not a good virgin but in the 1950’s who was? To destroy one’s children because the bride is not a virgin what does it mean? Does not mean anything the man is the husband he can take whatever he likes him is the master of his own home.

“You mean he pays and he can fuck whatever that moves in that house?”

“Of course.”

“Salih you silly bastard why marry that bitch?” That was to my mother who was sat there looking very agreeable at them without her mind going berserk how could that doctor say such things such thoughtless imbecile things when he should be making it better?

“Could not you find another woman to marry you?” Minds go mad as if that was not enough dads believed what the doctor said he put on airs soon afterwards and went looking for a good woman.

Mum and he had such fierce fights afterwards not good enough for him? That the whole house would shake and rattle with her screams and they would tear each other apart skin and bones and mum’s hair. We paid for the privilege of going to that Turkish doctor and we believed it would make it better? The thing was it was taking its toil what to do about doctors who did such things with their beastly good tastes and all that when taste is not what it is supposed to be.

“Sorry I made a mistake and now nobody wants to know.” Said dad very economically. I thought he was about to be robbed or something but dad did not have any money at that point. Dead broke and he almost in bankruptcy courts liquidation as the saying was. His shop a leasehold and the lease running out in nine years time so we did not have nothing to give to that doctor.

There was nothing but us the children and he told the doctor that he said we only have our kids. Why would they be always saying that word? I did not think much in those days and parents were too nice and good to be doing such deeds and the deeds our deeds were not that great.

“You know anything you need you just ask for.” He told my parents.

“I do not think we should be here at all; as we can’t afford your fees sir.” I said and there was the NHS the hospital which mum went and the care she was receiving.

“I want double I want to be doubled medicated.” Said mother.

“The pain doctor the pain it won’t leave me?”

“No it will never do such a thing.”

He turned to father as if he had the words in his head. There was no sight of me as if he did not see me as if the words just flowed into his mouth from his head piece he had a troupe.

“I am your doctor why marry her come to my club find a decent woman.”

“Are you using the syringe I gave you?”

“I am not deaf. And yes I am using the damn thing it is very difficult though.”

“Next time get help from one or the other of these.”

“I am not helping with that.”

“Just as well the other kids?”

“They go to school.”

“I go to school too.”

The next time I would show that pervert what I thought about him in front of everyone. In fact wearing my boots and doing my hair in the glossy clean style and then he said get up on the chair which I did in front of ma and a group of people. Therefore saving a lot of time and money; my dignity now no longer intact I was told to shoo off.

“He wants to make money.” I said in an awful manner I made up and went with my boots those boots would show him and I was right he could not resist them boots. I laughed with glee that doctor was a corruption and a menace. He had a club and he needed customers so when there was a doubt in the treatment he said plenty of wine and come to my club for the bit of fun as well. That is very Turkish they always do such things it is anti social to be poor so they must remain and retain their position. Wealth is the brand name of the rich and titled and they are entitled to everything that moves.

I was fifteen years old. In London then and had everyone in a tease a stripper could not have been more lovely than me. I was going to become an intellectual I had made up my mind so did not need my body at all. An intellectual does not even mind what she does with her body she has only her mind to contend with.

In a day I have dealt with three dirty odd men and there was an end to it. I was a very prolific girl.

You know there is something shiftless inside me because I had no solid base at all there was nothing in me but me and I stood there and here defending or trying to defend myself and my family but that was nothing to the thoughtfulness I was capable.

I was capable of behaving irrationally giving all my time to them and staying clear of fun and discos and then make believes of sighs. There was hardly any breathing place in the house it was so dirty that I did not know where to look and there it had not been done for years as if my mother’s ailments had added to her weight loads and she did not deny herself nothing but the pain the pain was such as if she screamed all the time with it.

“Is her heart breaking or is the marriage?”

I thoughtless said to doctor and he said it was psycho-mastic. That mother had some sort of syndrome and it made her like that.

He looked sceptically at me as his spectacles got in the way he looked funny.

He did not say anything more he did not add or take away.

“Just let her take the pain killers.”

Mother said, “ Morphine.”

“Painkillers are the best.”

That is what it meant they had discovered a new word in the previous statements it would have meant made up pain. But the thing was it was not made up pain it was real pain and she needed morphine from two doctors that is when we started to go to the other doctor private doctor.

So had said my ex boyfriend who happened to be in his fifties. My parents did not mind at all whenever he said come they let me go to his side. I was a bit delicious he said naughty was it not?

Mum said she did not say a word because if she had told me I might have gone contrary what she did not know was that my cousin sister went to him as well and she was more with him than I ever was. That was my real adopted fiend of a sister and mother’s real flesh and blood.

But in the time I am speaking about that is when it is confusion I was perhaps a toddler perhaps older an odd child whom screamed daily because did not hear properly deaf but not mute. Probably saved my life because the snakes do not like noise do they?

Adopted dad on his wedding night with his readymade family.

But adopted mother was not a virgin too on her wedding night she was supposed to be pregnant with me.

But before I had been walking in the fields in that world alive and all and then I had to be reborn in order to make my birth legal. Illegitimate baby?

He never did another good deed ever again he never interfered or did a good speak or said the right word or did a deed worthy to be called human with human dignity or respect.

You see he had too much to drink or someone else was there before him and he disliked that more than anything but he too had been married but he wanted a decent bride and he only married her because he had to.

He would have been hanged otherwise for murdering a Greek fellow. That is another story but Papa did not look well after that tried to run out of the marriage at every opportunity and did not only dislike his wife but told her so frequently how she was not to his liking.

He told her so often that it became a drone in their married life as if the sound said things like tenderness within the zone of their marriage this did not feel right of course everyone had a similar partner somewhere whom they told the same sort of stuff too.

“Look you awful bag of rubble.”

“Look you shit arse you can’t even provide for your family.”

“You can’t even do it right.”

“There is no right way of doing this.”

“What you saying to me is I am not a man?”

“Never have been.”

Then the yelling would not stop.

So what is happening here is that he is hurting and wants to hurt her and she is not hurting too? Been involved with a woman most of her life so she knows rejection she knows what it feels to feel tenderness and the happiness of being in a company where she is loved and kissed and fondled without spite or envy.

“Look shiftless.”

“Look donkey.”

“Look out for your back here is coming.”

But what makes couples forego respect? The thought is they forego respect when love was never there that they marry for convenience and out of spiteful malice to show the world that they can marry.

“I am now a married woman and can wear a ring and come to any house and settle into a reality of behaving normally.”

She was doing her syringe at the time. In the front room and I was trying not to notice.

“What is normal?”

“This is what marriage comes down to and there is no satisfaction in it.”

“Well there is the door.”

“I can’t see you going through it.”

There was nearly a fight but dad went for the bottle instead and poured himself a glass. He was a heavy drinker whiskey his apple juice.

“When a woman can visit a woman without bothering to be asked the reason.” Mother sole reason for marrying was her ideals of mating and behaving with wives in particular? What do woman speak and seek is the core reason for her being diabolical. She liked to be a member of this community of wives and bragging with other wives about behaving like a wife and having all that which said plainly she belonged in a group. That no one pointed the finger at her and said nasty things about her life and hurt her feelings.

“Well she hurt mine.”

She would never harm innocence and she lived up to her ideology but as soon as the virtue went then she would become the hawk near a meal. She never knew and did not find herself until too late and she said they trapped her into marrying a man who disliked her and wanted to not befriend her but to milk her dry.

“Do I look like I like being milked?” Her breasts were heavy and fat I thought she might be misled and tried to explain it to her but she shook me off. Then I lost my nerve the thing was too intimate for some reason even for us.

“Now she could sit in her little tub and make believe she was not having a syringe up her arse.”

Now that is good is it not?

The reasonable cause of the health problem of today is that most women marry in order to visit their women friends? Some would make that a reason for divorce.

Not entirely the truth not unless they have a windowless room where the cameras do not get at one while bonking the wife of another man.

“Insane?”

Men have the means the money so the women must pretend to love the male.

“Hard working families.”

“Mean with the household expenses.”

“That women have babies makes them less able to live on the proper ladders.”

“Vulnerable.”

“A woman now can have a baby and then be out and about in no time.”

“Women don’t feel the pangs anymore.”

“Not much pain.”

“What has happened to women?”

“They look like boys.”

“Their charms obvious.”

“They are courting all the time.”

“Not settled.”

“They do not like to be aloof or alone.”

“Only God is alone and he not so he has his son and the angels.”

“So nobody is alone?”

“No.”

“Oh no. It is a truth reasonable and secure my reason is in this I am sharing what I heard in cafe while working as a waitress. One learns like a butler all the little traits of the common women.”

The wasteland was not wasted on me.

“The thinking is bad.” said someone who said he disliked a waitress knowing so much about not knowing and his lacking in the explicit of what the Wasteland meant he disliked coming here to this smutty little cafe.

“Dissatisfied customer?”

“Another one join the queue.”

“No it is good and straight because that is what it is about why marry unless that and have the prenuptials and all that if that were not the cause of it. What is the reason is does not a marriage contract entitle one to the goods anyway?”

“No other reason but that.”

“You will not budge on this?”

“I never change my mind.”

“So your Nan murdered her own children?”

“I grew up in that wretched fields and did know the snakes well.”

“When my uncle saw this he had the snakes killed.”

“Then Nan said if you saved her now you will have to bring her up as your own and take this one as well.”

“My adopted father my uncle he had been.”

“He behaved like a proper man.”

“He never did.”

“Yes he had to otherwise he would have been sent back to Cyprus and be executed.”

“When did he do the murder?”

“He was a young man then.”

“He said he was twenty something.”

“In a fight drunk and something the Greek lad said disparaging about the Turks.”

“Patriotism burning a hole inside him back then.”

“My mothers had a set to because they could never decide what is right for the likes of a daughter whom was pretty but not sold.”

“Why not sold?”

“I was no good at school and did not have friends.”

“Customer relations?”

“We women who are we?”

“Customer relations?”

“We are not whores nor girls?”

“We are the common?”

“No we are not common we have been to University.”

“Not all of us?”

“No not all of us but we have been and done it.”

“Done what?”

“Done what we can to further our aspirations.”

“Made ambition are sole care and concern.”

“Left the pram outside the factory and let no men see the baby.”

“Yes protected ourselves against harmful insect bites.”!

“Did all we can.”

“Here and more here.”

“Here there and everywhere.”

“Where was your own mum?”

Back to my private life that is my very own private selfish existence. On that day of our arrangement to meet and catch up on the festivals which we call and uncalled and what to say to someone who is no longer feeling the thoughts which you feel is trying to gasp at how wonderful this girl is and wants to bring you into the family in a familiar way.

“The good lady had by now a family and did not want to know me. She said I did not grow up quick and did not like to be woken at night and burnt me with hot milk. Just boiled did not check to see if the milk had cooled or something and hated the very sight of me as I was an unwanted child. My mother’s sister and her brother’s wife these are now them having a fight out over money.”

“What do you mean?”

“They married with the blessing of the family.”

“Why?”

“Because they fell in love whatever next why ask such innocent questions?”

“No longer to be trusted with the truth then he goes and falls in love with his own daughter his child by his sister.”

“No it is not his sister they are legally married.”

“He fell out of love with his own daughter sold her into prostitution.”

“Because she mismanaged her own money sold her house and was a wastrel.”

“Whatever next is that the way for a father to behave?”

“Sets her up as a whore and does away with conventions.”

“That is bad?”

“That is very bad.”

“No it can’t be true?”

“Bet you it is.”

“How much?”

“A house my own home.” Said step dad.

He lost the house on the night I was born bad luck unlucky said mother.

“He is trying to take our house from us and trying to without much guile do so.”

“He never did.”

“He tried to murder me.”

“He did?”

“Tried to kill me knifed me he did and all.”

“No he was not even there.”

“I recognised him.”

“You must be mistaken.”

“I known that look which he gave me I know him from anywhere.”

“Why did not you recognise him before?”

“Because that day in the garden while I was weeding he gave me such a look before he had not given me such a look. I know it is him. I know that look he is there trying to make me afraid of him.”

“Afraid of your own shadow?”

“I might be now but the thing is he does not even know he said he said he was going to have me committed into hospital.”

“With God’s help?”

“Yes with all the helping hands he has had he should be successful.”

Ever since I attacked mummy the adopted he has been behaving most strange he has not even slept since that day he has leapt into his car driving. Every time he is there whenever I get any place he is there. He is not pavement crawling is he? Would a night club man be pavement crawling on a safe street?

When I ring the bell doing the gardening with the courgette flowering into my garden and making the garden spurt all over the place with the tender love he has the powerful magic grow.

“He owns a club?”

“Well that is what Bob said.”

“That he owned a club?”

“Well yes.”

But the next door to the other one said he was letting out his rooms as they were coming in and out but I said it was just he was having rent boys over for tea.

We were quite shocked by the very idea how one wonders what it is about.

This is a broadsheet which is about what is happening round the world within our world and why we do this and the other. I am concentrating on a few countries in particular. Because they are the most particular in the land of this century. It makes no difficulties for me as a broadsheet writer how to mend the country or the state of the world because it is irreparable.

Once we lose our way we do not find it as this is the beast within us which we have allowed ourselves to let loose as Byron said when he had the painful leg. He wanted to be a poet and noticed. He got too much attention and did not look well handsome he was handsome but he did not behave well? Well you see he wanted to be a devil and he was a man who did not think about the sensibilities of sleeping with his sister or even of his brother.

And the point of Byron is that the family my family behave just like Byron did and then they go and die heroically in the end it is macho images and how to make it look right in the eyes of the public. Behaving like public relations officials.

Byron was enacting the devil you see. You see for us it began in the late 50’s when we too wanted to be evil and well hippies. Which means sleeping with anyone who is available and making love to all with nothing but the contempt of animals? How many do apes sleep with at one time? They mate all day long in long formations.

Aping such behaviour is good? From elevations of angels we have come down to being beasts. Which is what we do need do not we?

“Nowadays we do not need a conscience everything is thought for us.”

“Says whom?”

I must sleep around how many did I do today and yesterday and the day before I must not let myself down by sleeping with just one partner because that means boring. I mean being boring is just boring and boredom is it not; said the witty sophisticated persons who do such things.

I must look repulsively handsome and like the devil then he had to be shipped off to Greece by his auntie in order for him to be killed in a heroic manner. Body works and worthy causes have now made us the perfect society to deal with our own demons. If we do not go on a date we are done for. I mean nobody loves me at all. I am done for.

Byron died from a disease caught by the warm weather and he died in a patriotic statement holding down the flag or something. He was mid thirties and he did not do well? Everyone forgives a young man who dies with a flag in his hand. So the world did forgive the bad and dangerous to know and his poems came into their own and we got over his sham existence as a philandering incestuous vain and conceited male who did everything to ruin other poets and did. I mean John Clare he ridiculed to such an extent he ends up in a madhouse.

I am unpopular I am the most unpopular being on earth nobody has called me today at all do I exist at all that nobody has phoned me?

You see it is the deeds of the poets as well as their fine words which matter in the end.

“Earth calling to anybody there can you connect me to some machine even so I can represent myself in my own defence that I am still alive.”

“Is she still alive?”

“Not likely she has been sat in her chair watching endless computer games she seems happy.”

When the thing is all about numbers we become numb as people as society as a whole.

“On the point of five to ten how do you rate yourself today?”

“Five.”

“On the point of five to ten how wealthy are you today?”

“Five.”

“On the point of ten to five how many times did you sleep walk last night.”

“Five. You can’t fool me with trick question like that.”

This is not about the normal domestics whom we love to read about unrequited love or how to mate with each other. This is about the things which nobody likes to share with the world their politics. Their opinions and what to do with the things which make us.

When in Turkey they wanted to take over the Turks what they got rid of first was the law giver Sultan the Magnificent. He was a law giver and he did many laws but they sent him a Russian wife and after twenty two years with her the Sultan murdered his own children and did not even think it odd at all?

No most definitely not he thought first he murder the children from his first wife then he murdered his other children from his Sultan Hurrem who was a Russian slave and that took care of his laws.

He did not murder his wives. He would not strike them even he was a pacifist.

Love does not come into it love is there somewhere sphere headed but there is nothing but facts in my demeanour there is nothing else but facts the facts of the situation is when idealism dies there is nothing but that.

To think that our ideas have died? No it is not our ideas which has died but our idealistic attitude our romantic lives have now become like a caged bird we are all in our cages trying to touch each other’s souls and never succeeding because we do not now have anything like souls.

This is a like pessimistic? I am not pissed? Nothing of the sort it is pessimistic and I am pissed because I am a diabetic and it is first thing in the morning. Like everyone else I was concerned about the nature of the disasters which befell us.

The hurricanes the avalanches and now they have stopped and the greatest mass take over has taken place. We watch delighted at the peacefulness of the Arabs and all the nations giving up their arms to the giants. But where did our life go? When we come down from Mars where does it end? When did Venus take over?

I see that this book is about how woman have ruled the world silently and now have taken charge. The giant bulls have gone and now we have women in suits coming at us with their reasoned arguments answering questions and asking the right things might save the planet except the richest nation in the world which saw towns and cities closed now has been invaded and the rest of mankind in case of being concerned wants to see what is going to happen happily.

I will lend a hand to you all.

Nothing happens when coups happen not for a number of years until the spider’s web is not even breakable. Then one can’t even get outside the door without someone bumping into one.

So this is a novel? No it is a broadsheet done with aplomb and there is not much evidence but the currents of thinking. I thought since we do not need anything minor or major to make a point that the novelist today are all dead or incontinent. Due to publishers demands on their time and them making endless work for the poor reader.

No this is a tract written like in the 3 centuries ago a broadsheet telling about the pre novel existence before exultations happened and now that we must remain sober for some time it has taken its toll. I also thought about the things which mattered to me and thought that if you all gave a penny we might trawl through this broadsheet and mend things. That we can still mend or fix the things like a flat tyre is a miracle so I thought we might get into this big time and do it.

We are entering a world of would be make believe farcical tract making. We are returning back in time because we have reversed so much in our own times towards behaving not like normal university educated people but like our ancestors.

Our ancestors were a bit backward they did not do things right according to our hygiene. They did not eat the right food and definitely did not speak like we do. They entertained sports like chasing them Irish girls and boys until they dropped dead. That is why in the 1970’s the Irish hated the English. Then the smooth Tony happened and he got it right discussing things on the phone at night to the Irish meant they took their spleen out. I mean it must have been the last straw having to be disturbed at night when one is trying to crap.

I thought I would go back in time to in trying to educate myself as well as you. We will all love this journey so much that my ambition is that you will all want to speed up and come back to the 21 century. When we thought that having a degree meant having common sense and making love was in the day time with our secretaries, instead with our mates.

But having a degree meant just that I had a good vocalisation of what and how to do things. That there was now nothing of me to give that my health is over and done with and I am being offered jobs as a consequence but the thing is there is no more strength to do the jobs.

Having been diagnosed with dyslexia at a later stage in my life the thing is everyone thought I had been stupid and not capable of work in a normal intelligent environment and I had been in the good unemployment situation or waiting at tables. The good news is that I did turn into some sort of intellectual the bad news is that nobody wants to know the new me. I am very good at not seeing the point where is the point I delve not into the area of the plot as this story is about being pointless or too many points or none at all the thinking behind is not very good. I myself I’m at sea of where it is going to behave or not to behave.

Look what is the whole point?

Survival of the invalid is that it?

A invalid mother had the whole idea of making ends meet and I had to help her out and then the other mother said I will give you my child to help you. It is about love ? Two women loving each other? I do not care it is about being cast off the cast off so that the better part of someone could survive? So that her marriage could survive so that mother’s marriage would work out until then it does not make sense does it constant reminder you are being fired that you had a child not his and this is the child so the constant reminder.

This screaming child not his but look even has his eyes?

Constant reminder the child is not his.

Then the coup happened; nobody realised or knew. The son took over the father’s role. It was that simple the epilepsy. A little plastic surgery and a lot of makeup can do wonders to the man who knows who he is impersonating. I think it is so but what of it? We can become nowadays anybody we care to be as long as we are recognised by the other people known as our group.

Nobody can see it nowadays we are anyone because nobody knows us because we come from nowhere and settle and in our group. The drunken party, the banter and the well wishers all wishing away ourselves.

We are behaving like the others so nobody says this is a stranger because the thing is nobody wants to know. The thing was a Pope in the long ago had been impersonated by a woman and it was only when he died that they realised she had not been what they thought.

No denying at the burial they found out. I mean spoke like a man acted religiously and did the right words so it is a man. No woman can become a Pope sorry there is one already but we had to bury the news because nobody wanted to know.

It was decent thing to have not told anyone in France they would have been shocked by this piece of news because it meant so much to them. In the days of the mass poison which were led by the Medici’s. This would have leant them some poison which was not nutritious to the fears of the people. To kerb crawl tonight in this world is bad but that means the Medici’s are no longer here? What do we feed the masses today?

“We the Medici’s feed the masses television?”

“No most definitely not.”

What do the Medici’s feed us today?

“Parties?”

“Sex?”

“LSD?”

“Nothing of the sort we do not need anything these days we go to our GP and take our medicines.”

“Feed the world diet coke and cancer then come back to me and complain.”

“There is nothing of the sort nothing has been proved at all.”

“This is a scientific age?”

“This is the age of bollocks.”

“This is the age when mankind died? Because we think we got away with it.”

“With what have we got away with?”

“Guilt complexes and sin.”

“Who has sinned?”

“Did not they say go and sin no more?”

“Well in the Bible?”

“Yes but now if we do not sin it is a crime.”

“What?”

“If we are not at it all the time it is considered bad form.”

“Silly woman.”

“I am not being silly it is a fact we have accountants to tell us who we have slept with and who to do next.”

“That is only sleeping partners.”

“Is that not about sex then?”

“Not included in this page is the page less dictionary of good behaviour before she hit out at all and sundry she was a law abiding citizen of no notoriety and exemplary behaviour.”

“What has since changed?”

“I no longer want to be a servant.”

“I’m I being informed that you are a servant?”

“Exactly. Your honour let me speak.”

“You have spoken at great length.”

“Under sedation.”

“They hypnotised me to do the work so I would not get tired and feel pain that is supposed to be not legal is it not?”

“There is no such thing at all impossible to suggest that such a thing exists.”

“Look the Freud had the hypnosis to make people better these monsters called parents took the cure and made me a prisoner and a servant this is what it is about.”

“Bullshit. We did no such thing we are caring thoughtful family.”

“The thing is why did I feel nothing for the next thirteen years even pins and needles?”

“Because of medication.”

“No your honour the thing is we are not normal we have found them out there is the good sense to make it illegal.”

“There is no such crime we do not see it.”

“But it happens to be true.”

“Oh go away.”

“Under sections, chapters and definitions?”

“Most definitely your honour.”

“Most people are mad?”

“We are all mad Freud said so including himself.”

“Most psychiatrist are mad most tutors said so.”

“They do not do enough painting?”

“Most painters are mad too.”

“Most definitely three a day with plenty of lack of sugar will keep the doctrines away.”

We must feed the masses. Hypnosis works it worked for me I did all the work without feeling tired and wore myself out.

Feed them what? Fear some would say others would say happiness and this other country would say it is difficult to know what to do after hopscotch. Hope the enchanted land which is our land is the least corrupt of the lot.

“We disagree.”

“Endless processions and pomp and ceremony has produced a backlog of superior girls wanting to become the right one.”

“They are all wrong ones?”

“Most definitely not when they beget children due to child care demand they are dispensed with to take on a lover or two.”

“That is normal?”

“Definitely it is. Royal aristocratic personage do that all the time.”

“Facts like the late ones.”

“No they are always punctual.”

“I dislike your tune?”

“I am not playing a tune unluckily for me my instrument has broken and there is an end to that.”

“In the briefest time of our year we love to dance and joke but this is a serious broadsheet and I will lead you all on a journey helter-skelter where you can mix the days up continuously and come with the right date.

“This is most definitely the low life.”

“I am a lower class your honour.”

“Lower class is the key note we honour and disappoint each other and then comes the court case and we disobey our instincts you should have left home.”

“I had nowhere to go.”

“No house?”

“No job nor money your honour.”

The judge said he would reconvene to consider himself. In our words to pull his thoughts together.

“The facts are these.”

“They owe me money?”

“How much did they give you in wages?”

“£100 a week.”

“For how long?”

“For the next thirteen years when then they cut it off completely because the shop went bankrupt.”

“So their economies did not help?”

“No your lordship dad bought cars and cigarettes and drink with his share and mum bought television and videos with hers.”

“They also did a lot of light honeymooning.”

“When they travelled and did away with economics altogether.”

“So they were fairly well to do?”

“No they had to live in order to work they said so!”

“So what happened to you?”

“I got old.”

“We all get older?”

“I had nothing your honour no home as they thought no money and had to live permanently as a carer.”

“What is wrong with caring for your own family?”!

“Nothing let me finish.”

“It is as if you not marrying is our fault.”

“Well it is.”

“Look you had plenty of offers.”

“I did not love them.”

“Quiet in court no layabouts there is the session quiet in court that is an order.”

“Judgement day judge.”

Here it is a lot of idealism the ideas of the masses here we are no shrinking violets and we have the best democracy don’t we? Of course we go to the elections as regular as ever and make our point and the same persons stand as we cheer them. That is good that is good news. Send them more good news the deficit went under and we are all crowded in our flats which we had managed to save for but the building work did not come through so we are crumbs. The same persons we vote for because they are for the likes of us.

Yes we are the taxpaying public who know what is where and everyone will thank us for it too voting for the likes of the commoners is no fun. We are the aristocracy who will forever reign because we do the right things. We know everything because we do not let others what we know we keep mum about what we know so that others would never know.

That is called preservation and good sense. We know everything and been everywhere, because our wives chase the girls and run them home so that they can build on their own publicity. We do the right deeds, we know where our deeds our for the castles and the huts as if that was not enough we know how many children we fathered unlike most of the world. Here-Here.

Yes it is here is it not?

It is everywhere this molestation of a perfectly ordered society with the upper crust upper and down on its last legs and the lowers down under, where they belong. The classes must mix in order that the aristocracy do not lose touch with reality and make themselves indispensable at the chairs of many charities when the charities can go marching ahead with their good deeds and most remarkable like make ends meet.

Most paupers do not make ends meet at all. Their money just runs through their hands and they do not save most defective part of them. It is hardly surprising that most benefits have stopped and made into sleeping slumbers and then they run away with themselves and write drug-street or is it Grub Street?

But in this lamented other land which is far away the worse we have seen something far worse all the pen and ink dried up and the internet gone and the sewages gone. The only thing besides the dowagers to live on the bread line when one has to hasten otherwise the bread is gone.

Some of their most talented get thrown out when at the age which is called a child so that they no longer have the capacity to argue with their betters. Some of the brightest children thrown to the streets because they argued with their parents. No remote control nothing to say but the distance which time makes of the meal ticket now no longer a child but something called hag.

Dared not sleep in case set alight and they do catch fires and die horribly. Nobody can help them because homeless destitute with families who have thrown them outside into the street for arguing with their parents or without any parents? Some even have grandmothers whose lunch they eat but in the total of their millions they die after earning some money and then they die. Some in their own way make it as painters in the passages of the undergrounds painting most beautiful paintings.

This nation which used to be one of the most modern now at the end of the line a play thing a has been a beast which is gone out to lunch never to return.

The common sense we swear to what of it?

The folly of saying to someone that he is re elected when he killed his own.

No he did not. There was not a drop of blood at that coup.

But worse than this country there is this other thing in this country the politics of senility gone so bad worse than before now we wed two wives at the same time. Have manifold children and make love a has been.

The thought behind this is there must have been a bloody lot of pounds shillings and pence gone down the drain. The drain the drain because the constancy of draining the press has made them now blend in. We know when the Russians did invade we cannot prove it.

Behave with total slavish devotions to the abolition of the constitution and made them smart under their own intellect. Don’t worry soon they won’t even want to write down the words to the constitution because there won’t be any need because the Russians are able to write better.

Here we go?

No we do not go anywhere Russia?

But they are across the sea and they did fork out money for the buildings which we now live in.

So they part own us?

Of course before they also did the war effort by giving us money for the ammunitions and all that.

But nobody noted this nobody found anything wrong because the songs still got written the films got made and all lived on the sprees of being.

We lived on the nectar of misbehaving celebrities and their way of life while we ate only olives and bread. Two olives and sliced bread which the wife baked from flour would not say where it came from.

Or should I say the spearhead of behaving like everyone else because nobody wanted to ask the questions in case they landed in prison. No one is asking for a handout or handover in that land where are the real leaders who usefully asked the constitution questions and did not flop around stating like Hitler that there was someone against them their way of being afflicted their way of life in danger whose way of life who is in danger who except for him?

“Someone is trying to kill our president must protect his way of life. His boat which he got has sunk a inch or two.”

“No one is trying to kill him he is killing the people because of his behaviour.”

“This we disagree with and disregard you are having hallucinations delusions even.”

“I am not.”

“Sorry what has happened to the pleasures we all loved?”

“They are gone my friends they left us with the two wives at home and the fifteen child care.”

Pot bellied no more everyone must live on two olives and to make it permanent plant more olive trees. I saw some olive trees today and wished to buy them but thought it meant something never home but something else that I might not have the room to put them in and there might be too much of it.

The manifold things which we know about are that man and woman must not misbehave that everyone must be copied by the leader’s behaviour. Follow the leader is an old saying. We do not go outside the line. Anyone must not be noticed otherwise it is a scandal and someone might give you one.

To be so inclined for scandal is to make a spectacle of yourself so nobody must notice you other than that you are normal and like everyone called normal.

“I did not behave like normality itself?”

“You fit inside your cage to a good degree.”

“How many watts?”

“Of what?”

“Sugar.”

“Of course you are a jerk but we loved you anyway. Took hundreds of photos of you when you a child.”

“Yes such a pretty child would have done anything for her.”

“She did mostly take the photos.”

“You were born in England do you remember?”

“Not that far back.”

“I mean?”

“She never liked photography your mum that is.”

“Where is this country?”

“It is inside me. Why did nobody take photos of me until ten?”

“But here they are seeing?”

“But they are me?”

“Yes.”

“Somewhere in the land where they all have nodded off.”

“No offence but what is this country about?”

“I can’t say what this century is about but fear it is about everything being not said.”

“Sorry slightly deaf.”

“What mother did not understand was did not remember when I was born and from which mother.”

“Poor thing.”

“Yes pathetic is it not? Does not even know which is which?”

“Eventually she will find out and come and seek your help and advice.”

“Oh she is quite headstrong.”

“About everything?”

“Yes will not even say sorry when she gives the customers the wrong order.”

“Imperious.”

“Commanding.”

“Well?”

“Shocking.”

“To the very core.”

“Likeable like an apple?”

“In the barrel there is rotten apple and then the whole barrel becomes rotten.” I said quoting my teacher.

“An omen that is a omen.”

She behaved wonderfully quick then led us out very quick.

“What is wrong with you?” asked baby sister.

I did not know. I did not know at all.

The stroke of genius and then the masses had never seen the son so did not know him. His female admirers would never say a word because fear was a wholesome thing. It never happened this coup did it the take over the many arrests. The many death penalty impending. The many things which we are not allowed to think. We are not allowed to think deep un-cleaned thoughts because we are childlike.

This is the century when children are made to think like adults and adults remain a child all their lives. Look we cannot cope with the demands so the children must go and translate what their parents are going through and mend themselves as well as their parent’s marriage.

“Tug of war why does mummy and daddy no longer like me?”

“You are not going to tell what has just happened are you child?”

“But I am supposed to.”

“I am fixing this marriage Jim will fix it.”

Children do not have to think the masses are children and should be treated to the right thinking how to be a mum or a careerist or something more simple.

Being humble noble calling like caring for others.

“Today I am going to behave like a saint and tomorrow like the devil. It depends how I am feeling as the good therapist said that it depends how everyone is feeling. I think it means me too?”

In the home or in the outside world it is the same shared grief and all that. It is only the rich who have the time to think.

“They might not.”

“Have what?”

“In the old times this made sense to people.”

“Like Grace Pool?”

“No like to the labour party.”

“No not that party the Tories.”

There was even Liberals in the house with Gladstone as the governing government.”

“No did he rule well?”

“He was all for anti slavery laws.”

“Did he now?”

“Yes he was fired by the zeal at the house so did a law which said in thirty years the slaves should be abolished.”

“Why could he do it before?”

“He did not want a hung parliament. Because even Aunt Betty had a slave.”

“Now we have incapacity because the disabled have come out of their homes and nobody thinks to ask why and nobody wants to see them. So the government has created a problem which nobody will tackle. The disabled have rights to do and be out there too you know. Tell any bus driver that they don’t and he will say it is untrue. The pizza place which refused them service the public places not user friendly. It is all to do with change.”

“Change is difficult?”

“Very difficult.”

“So money in some pockets but nowhere to spend it in except for the indoors.”

“Insensitive.”

“Life is far from the maddening crowd.”

“But now we are in a situation?”

“Like where is this?”

“In Britain where huge things have happened disasters and all that were not much went or goes wrong.”

“Mad artist are being robbed.”

“Work done which comparable to a adult earner is half or quarter of pay.”

“No real wages.”

“For the mentally ill for the physically ill because we are under zero hours contract.”

“Now affecting the entire working population.”

“Why?”

“Greed.”

“We are supposed to be working and doing and being around but where so we work for practically nothing and the government pays for that privilege of making us into servants so that we are jeered at in the work place for doing work which others do for twice the pay.”

“So this thing happened?”

“What thing?”

“Growing resentment of the rich towards the poor and the poor against the rich.”

“Well why the rich?”

“As they have the idealistic of children having known no hardship or hard shoulder.”

“Because they brought the law in which turned everything upside down.”

“Because we had not much to think about in the first place now we have to get up in the mornings go to work so no time to do even a little spot of thought.”

A country which has been eroded somehow made difficult to mend as if the people there easily bought and sold. We are all for sell signs here at the door. It is like England it has common features; it is obvious; it is a horror to behold because in its later stages of what corruption can lead to.

When the coup happened it did not happen because of happiness the marriage of the father was in jeopardy. He had grown bored with his aging wife. Because the husband wanted to be married to a modern wife his other wife was not modern so he went and was destroyed.

The wife seemed not to mind at all did not even say a word scenes not even a hint there she was smiling at him and he said he happiest when she let her hair down now comforted and happy.

The calmness of woman wives in particular is that they do not forgive that when the husband does go to another bed it is their bed which is being destroyed and throes of agony specially when the wife has been valued and kindly treated to be now cast in the shade and because of her aging looks made mockery of.

Don’t throw stones at me?

I am not likely to do.

The thing is perhaps or suppose the son took over after the father had his epileptic fit? Why and where would they hide him? In the house palace which he had built because of enemies and the fears he had.

The imperial army of the Russians now living in the imperial palaces of the world; now in the palace which they felt safe in because of sabotages and all manner of evil men and women out to spoil Turkey. In the sea which had housed the middle and when they did not could not invade we have been into some sort of trouble.

Broadsheet did not say a word about this.

They have locked all the journalists. Closed their mouths with cat paw.

“No we do not like this?”

“Nobody likes this at all?”

“Well it is tough is it not?”

“It is called tough love.”

Its genuine people; Real people to you and me, which we are said to have made safe and guard for that is what the original Ataturk said that now the man and woman were to wear modern clothes did he not? Learn to speak in Turkish and behave like gentleman not bandits. Well the thing is it is not going to happen is it?

We waving the flags in the crowds for a society which we did not fight for because we have been given a television or a vacuum cleaner. Nothing to declare at all? No duty free.

In the old days it was lentils now it has grown better how to destroy democracy with freezers and televisions and fridges.

Codswallop?

But it is better than codswallop is it not?

This is the man who is the son of this man and he is the son of the other man and like Neapolitan times we will see it through because that is what it is the eyes does not deceive when the educated the literate are leaving and the others are being encouraged to breed so that they can have families which they can sit with.

Now his voice is without fear he is a man a man fulfilled with strength and there is nothing in his path he is a man whose mother is looking after him. You see the former had a crack in his voice when he spoke this one does not. A man who has been a leader and in power for that much time develops and matures and there is another thing. The woman behind him watchful forever is not a wife it is a mother because she is looking after her baby.

When they had been forever separated like any other couple over the twenty year mark now forever in each other’s pockets? You see when the husband had the epileptic fit the wife not there and seemed to be aware of his condition and now forever at his side? The answer is why? For what reason? Because of this there is nothing more to say but to understand the question is it the real president or not?

The corruption of the boats which the son took when the father became a president the boats give it away why take from the man who is feeding the public why do such a thing as to become a millionaire over night and to make the father the culprit now nobody has a word against the new regime for that is a new regime it is not about exercising control or content it is a bone of contention around the world and the Mafia is now ruling a state run by someone who is already corrupt.

So hail Hitler in the making?

Hailstorms brewing.

Around the world to answer the quest for knowledge we need only to see the truth behind the veil and this is what it is! Where and who are we to ask the right questions when the cats the fat cats have all the answers.

“My son my son.”

“So proud of him such a good likeness to his dad.”

“She doted on that boy spoilt him.”

I am not who I say I am I am who I am who I was in fact I am me.

Well the thing is where did the reporters go and where is the prisoners going but to the hang men as soon as the law is allowing it. And is there a law is it legal to kill so many in order to foster some ceremony we know does not allow us to think at all.

“To kill for a principle is the wisest thing in the world.”

“What is your principle?”!

“That is it I am not principled.”

“To have no principles is your options?”

I think therefore I am is nothing compared to the facts who do we think and vote for but when they corrupt the system we all know as we fought for it in the first world war and we abstained in the second world war only to come upon someone who behaves in such a manner as to make us not nice at all but ridiculous is a has been society of shams who do nothing about it.

In this world there are no nice persons at all.

Fucking not many nice they are disasters.

Stealing from the electorates and making boats in the river so they can float some more money and power to powder their noses with.

It is without disdain that I say this that they are never going to learn that the truth always comes out believe me it is never nice to behave in such a way.

Nobody knew he had a son?

No one they kept quiet about him until he had the boats nobody married him neither.

So he had to be rich to be married?

“I think he had a bad vibes or something.”

The winds of change.

“Climate change.”

“Yes.”

That is why he has since changed the law now women have no rights at all they have to marry anyone who asks them with their parents consent. The parents seeing the boats might have to hurry to catch him.

He might have floated onto the next best thing.

Nothing doing if he loved the woman?

There is no love when there is an arrangement because it is sanctified no wonder many women end up widows.

Look what has happened?

I don’t think it is true but what if it is?

If they did such a thing and are going to commit genocide like the Armenians well that would mean?

That he was not truly elected.

“But he got re-elected right away.”

“His worthy of the chance.”

“Our leader a great man.”

“The greatest since Ataturk.”

“No greater.”

“Because no blood lose.”

“We did it without going to war.”

“Our way.”

“You see people do not know what is good for them.”

“We know what is good for them.”

“To make mockery of a great man.”

“Yes it is a pity.”

“In Armenian terms great deal matters what one does in term of office and it is not the longevity or the disasters but the wholesomeness of it all.”

“What does it mean?”

“There is nothing wholesome about a woman behaving like a body armour.”

Yes that is what it might mean but also that he is a mass murderer. Oh my God.

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