Me And My Shadow

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Chapter 20

I texted my mom and told her that I was going to get coffee with Eric. Even though it was a little late in the evening on a Sunday, she allowed it.

I also told her that I had a big surprise for her when I got home, that being my new car.

I’m wasn’t exactly sure how would react, but I hoped that her reaction would be a good one.

Eric and I decided to each drive our own cars, that way I could just go straight home after our chat. Plus, I wanted to be behind the wheel of this beautiful ride as often as possible.

I don’t really want to talk about anything, if I’m being completely honest. I just want things to go back to how they were before that awkward encounter in my bedroom. Of course, we couldn’t pretend that it never happened, unfortunately.

We each pulled into the parking lot of a local Dunkin’ Donuts and walked inside. I told Eric what I wanted and found a table to sit at.

Once Eric paid and got our drinks, I watched him carefully as he walked over to me. His dark brown hair fell perfectly over his face. His deep brown eyes were piercing right through me, and I knew that I was going to explode at least once during the conversation.

Eric handed me my iced caramel frappe, and then sat down across from me with his hot chocolate.

“Hot chocolate? It’s not even cold outside.” I teased with a smirk.

I saw the corners of his lips twitch up into a smile. “It’s never too hot for hot chocolate babe.”

I couldn’t help but feel the small amount of butterflies that began to race around in my stomach at the way he called me babe.

Maybe it wasn’t really affecting him like it was affecting me.

“So, on a more serious note.” He began, instantly causing my stomach to drop.

“Yes?” I said uneasily.

“I know that you’re probably confused or upset with me about what happened the other day.” He started, “Or both.”

He took a pause, “But I just wanted to let you know that you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Gee, thanks.

After a few moments, he continued, “I was thinking too much about it and I messed with my own head. I just didn’t want to do it unless I knew that you really wanted to do it.”

“How could you think that I didn’t want to do it? I basically threw myself at you and you just rejected me.” I replied, rather harshly.

He sighed under his breath and took a sip of his hot chocolate. I could see him wince a little bit at the heat against his tongue and I wanted to laugh.

“Well, you were upset about your father and I knew you were going through a lot of mixed emotions. I just didn’t know if you were acting on impulse or not. I just didn’t want you to regret anything if you really weren’t ready.”

Sheesh, he’s talking to me like I’m a virgin.

Um, you are a virgin.

“I also didn’t handle it properly. I should’ve just talked it through with you in the moment, instead of just getting dressed and leaving without a word. I never wanted you to feel like I rejected you or will reject you in the future. I want you to know that I will always want you and I’m sorry for hurting your feelings. I just wanted to give you a chance to really think it through, that’s all.”

He flashed me an apologetic smile before taking another small sip of his drink. I was slowly sipping on my own beverage while taking in everything that he was saying to me.

I supposed I couldn’t be mad at him for that. It did make sense.

“I accept your apology and I’m sorry for getting mad at you without trying to talk about it first. It just threw me off a little bit.” I said honestly.

“Trust me, I completely understand.” He said with a small chuckle, “It would’ve thrown me off too, had the situation been reversed.”

I looked into his eyes and I saw the sincerity in them. The talk made me feel a thousand times better.

“I’m glad we were able to work through this.” I smiled.

“Me too babe.” He cooed, getting up to come and sit next to me.

He put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a sweet kiss on the side of my temple.

“Your hair smells good.”

“Oh thanks, it’s a new brand.” I smiled, to which he laughed.

“By the way, thank you for picking out my car. It’s perfect.” I said.

“No problem. I know my girl.” Que the butterflies.

I gently bit at my bottom lip, and I felt Eric tense next to me.

“Don’t do that.” He said while staring into my eyes.

“Why?” I asked.

“It drives me crazy.” He confessed.

I instantly felt my cheeks heat up, and I looked away, trying not to show how nervous he made me.

“Shut up.” I tried to play it off while playfully nudging his shoulder with mine.

“It’s getting late, Cecil. I don’t need your mom hating me.” He eventually said after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“I don’t think that’s possible, she loves us together, and she really likes you.”

“Oh, I know. I just wanted to hear you say it.” He smirked.

I rolled my eyes as we threw our empty cups away, before walking back outside to our cars.

Standing in between our cars, Eric wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest. I instantly responded, and engulfed myself with him, taking in his memorizing scent.

After a few seconds, I looked up and into his brown eyes. I stood on my tippy toes and placed my lips onto his in a flash. He kissed me back passionately, and began stroking my back with his hands.

Once we pulled away for air, he placed his head against my forehead and locked his eyes with mine. His lips were a few inches away from my own, and I could feel his breath against them.

“You taste so sweet.” He confessed with a look of lust in his eyes.

I could happily admit that I wanted to die right there. Between the heat rising in my cheeks and the butterflies playing laser tag in my stomach, I knew I wasn’t going to last long.

“Do you have a sweet tooth?” I asked, mentally slapping myself afterwards.

Cecilia, you’re a terrible flirt.

He leaned his head back and wholeheartedly laughed for a few seconds, before cupping my cheeks with his hands and holding my head in place, taking full control of me.

“I’ll always have a sweet tooth for you Cecilia.” He whispered against my lips before taking what he wanted, a kiss from me.

Not wanting to have a full on make out session in the Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot, we decided to save it for another day.

We said our goodbyes, and I finally got inside of my beautiful car to head back home.

I pulled into the driveway next to my mom’s car, honking my horn repeatedly.

After a few minutes, the door swung open to reveal Brody. His jaw all but fell to the floor as he gaped at my car. I got out and locked the doors.

Brody ran out to the driveway and began walking all around my car, inspecting every inch.

“Is this yours?” He asked in pure disbelief. His love of cars made him my new, number one fan.

“Yes! What do you think? Gonna be nice to me now for rides?” I teased with a smirk.

He rolled his eyes but then quickly stopped after thinking about what I said.

“You’re the best sister ever!” He lied, pulling me in for a hug.

“Oh drop the act, kid.” I laughed.

“You think mom will like it?” I asked, but before he could reply, we both jerked our heads towards the door at the sound of her voice.

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask her?” She teased with a small smile.

She walked out and over to where Brody and I were standing. I slowly stood aside so she could inspect the car herself.

“First, how? Second, why? Third, when?”

“Layla’s parents. Layla went car shopping and may have mentioned to her parents that I didn’t have enough money to buy myself a car. This morning when Layla and Eric picked me up.” I answered all of her questions in a row.

My mom was hard to read at first. Her face didn’t really show much emotion. I tried to smile at her, but she acted as if she didn’t see it. I was afraid of this.

“You don’t have to feel bad or obligated to do anything, they wanted and offered to do it. Layla wouldn’t let me refuse.” I confessed.

My mom gave me a curt nod and then turned around, heading for the door.

I exchanged glances with Brody and he gave me a look that said, “You should’ve seen that coming.”

I sighed and walked back inside with Brody right behind me.

I found my mom sitting on the couch with Grey’s Anatomy on the TV, but her eyes didn’t look invested in it. Her mind was wondering and I knew it was about me and my new car.

I didn’t want to make her feel bad or make her feel like she didn’t make enough money for us. The car was a gift and I could always return it if my mom didn’t want me to have it.

“Mom...” I started. She peeled her absent eyes away from the screen and glanced in my direction, however she wasn’t looking at me.

“I can always give it back if you don’t want me to have it.” I tried to reassure her.

“Why? So I can look like an ungrateful mother who wants to take things away from her child just because she didn’t pay for it herself?” She snapped at me.

I rolled my eyes, “No, mom.”

“Well keep it, I guess. There will be rules though.”

I restrained from rolling my eyes a second time.

“No going out after curfew. No sneaking. You will get a job so you can pay for your own car insurance, and you will be responsible for keeping it clean and for taking it to the shop for maintenance.”

“Mom! I’m sixteen and still in school! I can’t keep a job!” I tried to argue.

“If you’re old enough for your own car, you’re old enough to pay for it yourself.” She countered.

I knew she was right, but I still didn’t like it. It’s was times like this when I really envied my best friend and my boyfriend. I would never say it out loud though, I didn’t want to sound ungrateful for the life my mom had worked hard to give us.

“Okay. If I get a part time job and keep my grades up, will you at least pretend to be happy for me and excited about my car? I mean come on... just look at it. It’s beautiful.” I teased while pointing towards the front door.

My mom had finally let out a laugh and I knew by then that she was over it. I was finally able to let out a sigh of relief.

“It is pretty sweet. That’s something your father would love to see.” She confessed.

My father? Why was she thinking about Michael?

That wasn’t like her at all. I didn’t like it.

“I don’t care.” I said with a shrug.

I saw her give me a look out of the corner of my eyes, and then she began focusing on her TV show again.

“My insurance is paid for the next month, so this upcoming weekend I’ll start looking for a job. Cool?” I asked.

“Sounds good. Now hush, I’m trying to hear this.” She said, grabbing the remote off the armrest and turning the volume up to drown me out.

I chuckled and went upstairs to take a shower. It had been an eventful day.

The only thing I was thinking about, was Eric. We talked through everything and came out better than ever. Stronger even.

Maybe I was rushing sex because of my mixed emotions about my father. Maybe I do have abandonment issues and I just wanted to keep Eric forever by giving him a vulnerable part of myself. Maybe I thought having sex with him was almost like a seal to the deal.

I’m kind of relieved that he stopped us before we went too far. Sex is something I’m just not ready for now that I think about it.

I’m grateful that one of us was thinking clearly.

Eric texted me and told me that he missed me already and wanted to hangout tomorrow after school.

Of course I said yes after replying to Layla’s text, telling her about the job I’ll soon have.

Layla: W.e. u are not getting a job.

Me: Yes I am. Ask my mom. LOL

Layla: Maybe I will! ;)

Me: W.e.

Layla: Love ya !

Me: Love ya too !

After that, I got a call from a random number.


“Hey Cecilia.”

“What do you want?” I knew the sound of his voice almost instantly.

“I wanted to see if you wanted to meet up tomorrow after school for a quick bite to eat? Just to talk.”

“Sorry, but I have plans with my boyfriend tomorrow.” I replied coldly.

“Well surely he would understand if you wanted to cancel.” He seemed desperate.

“I don’t think so, but I guess I’ll see.”

I had no idea what possessed me to say those words, they just slipped out.

“I’ll call you tomorrow, have a good night!” He said excitedly before hanging up.

What had I gotten myself into? I really didn’t want to see him again.

I quickly picked up my phone to call Eric.

“Hey babe, everything alright?” He asked as soon as he answered the phone.

“Not really.” I sighed.

“Why? What happened?”

“My dad called me. He said he wanted to meet up tomorrow after school for a bite to eat so we can talk. I told him I already had plans with you though.”

“I think you should go, Cecil. He’s your father. I can see how much it hurts knowing that he left and I’m sure you both really need closure. Maybe you can start a new relationship.”

Well... I didn’t expect that response.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Of course! We can hangout Tuesday after school. It’s no problem.” He said happily.

“Uh, okay.”

“Sweet dreams, gorgeous.” He whispered. My stomach dropped as I felt the familiar butterflies kick into overdrive.

“Sweet dreams.”

“Hey Cecil...” He whispered.


“I can still taste your sweetness.”

And then he hung up.

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