“Dammit Riley!” I cursed as I got out of his car.
“What?” He innocently asked.
“I told you that I didn’t want extra sugar in my tea!” I whined, pouting as I grabbed my bag and made way to the front office doors.
“I didn’t tell them to add extra sugar, dear. You were sort of sitting right next to me when I ordered.” He mumbled, just loud enough for me to hear.
“I’m sorry, what was that?” I said through gritted teeth.
“I said... Oh no! I could have sworn I didn’t order extra sugar for your tea. Maybe I did by accident. I am so sorry Liv. Want to trade your drink for mine?” He smiled sweetly, obviously being sarcastic.
“No, coffee isn’t good for the baby.” I deadpanned, having had enough with his annoying tendencies.
“Apparently I’m not good for the baby either.” He barely spoke above a whisper.
“What?” I demanded.
“Nothing! Let’s go inside shall we? Can’t keep the Doc waiting!” Riley smiled, while batting his eyelashes and holding the door open for me.
I sighed as I entered the building, Riley lingering behind me.
“Are you nervous?” Riley asked, sitting beside me after checking me in with the front desk secretary.
“A little.” I admitted, impatiently tapping my foot against the carpet floor.
“What are you hoping for?” He asked with his eyebrows rose.
“I want a girl. Though, I will love the baby regardless. I just don’t think I can handle a boy. He would remind me too much of Landon.” I confessed, feeling guilty about putting the blame on a child that hasn’t even been born yet.
“What will you name her?” He asked with a smile.
“I haven’t decided yet.” I sheepishly smiled.
“What! You’re four months along and haven’t decided on names?” He chuckled.
“I guess I’ve been putting it off, until I knew for sure nothing bad was going to happen.” I looked down into my lap.
“Why would you think that Liv?”
“I don’t know. First baby jitters, maybe.” I looked out into the distance, staring at nothing in particular.
“Well, after today, you should be able to pick a name without a second thought!” Riley proudly stated, playfully nudging my shoulder with his.
“I suppose you’re right!” I smiled, looking over at him. “And sorry for being a pain earlier. I read about crazy pre-moms who get all hormonal and such... I guess I hoped that wouldn’t be me.” I lightly laughed.
“Yeah... no kidding.” Riley said, instantly smacking himself in the face afterwards.
“Crap, Liv, I didn’t mean it! Please don’t strike me!” He held up his hands in surrender as I just stared blankly at him.
“I really can’t believe we’re related sometimes...” I sighed.
“I can!” He smirked.
“Whatever, what is taking so long... there’s like, no one even here! She needs to hurry up.” I dramatically sighed.
“Ms. Harper!” The nurse announced as she came out from the wooden door leading into the exam rooms in the back.
“Wow, ask and you shall receive.” Riley mumbled, to which I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Do you want me to stay here?” Riley asked.
“Well, go get em!” He smiled.
I rolled my eyes as I followed the nurse through the door.
“And how are you feeling today Ms. Harper?” The nurse asked as she motioned for me to step on the scale.
“Pregnant.” I lazily replied. The nurse let out a laugh.
“I can see that. The tummy is surely getting bigger!” She happily spoke, while jotting down my weight into my records.
“I see you had an incident back home, the doctor sent us the records. I’m so glad to hear that nothing serious took place following the fall.” She spoke, reassuringly.
“Thank you. It was a little scary.” I thought back to a month ago, during Landon’s funeral service when I tripped over the steps leading to the podium so I could give my speech.
I instantly felt goosebumps as I remembered that day.
“Sweetie, you look cold. Would you like something?” The nurse kindly asked, before motioning me to follow her to the exam room to wait for the doctor.
“No thanks, I’m fine.” I huffed while following her.
“Just have a seat in here and the doctor will be in soon to do the ultrasound.” The nurse smiled again before leaving me to myself.
I looked around the room and saw the many posters of mother and child. I smiled at how happy they all seemed.
Then, I glanced at a poster with a father and son, and I instantly felt sad. Just knowing that my beautiful child growing within, won’t have a father to look up to. He or she won’t have a father to learn from, to sit on his shoulders while walking through the park, or riding around in the car on Mother’s day trying to find the perfect gift for me. He or she will never get to experience those little things that really make for an amazing childhood.
I shook my head, trying eagerly to rid myself of the depressing thoughts rolling around inside my brain. Despite not having a father, this child will have one heck of a mother and a load of stories about the father to keep the child happy. Add a crazy uncle and a beautiful, soon to be, Aunt... this child will have everything he or she needs. Not to mention, an amazing set of grandparents to give even more love.
I smiled at the thought.
Interrupting my thoughts was the doctor strolling in the door.
“Hello Olivia. Nice to see you again! I’m so happy to hear you’re alright after that fall up in Nevada. Let’s get started shall we?” He smiled, motioning for me to lay back on the exam bed.
He asked me to lift my shirt, and then I winced as the cold gel met my bare skin.
After a couple seconds of moving the wand around my stomach, there sitting before me was my beautiful child to be.
“Heart beat is very strong, dear.” The doctor smiled at me. “See that, right there?” He pointed to the screen and I nodded. “That’s the head, and here is the feet.” He pointed to the opposite end of the screen.
“He or she’s got a big head.” I mumbled with a slight laugh. The doctor laughed as well.
“All babies do. Thankfully, we all grow into our big heads, well some of us anyways.” The doctor teased, causing me to giggle.
“Now, you said he or she. Does that mean you want to know the sex?” The doctor asked, more serious this time.
“Y-yes.” I hesitated.
“Why the hesitation?”
“I, well, I want a girl...” I confessed.
“Any particular reason? Oh, by the way. I have noticed the father has not made any trips with you to your appointments. Any reason for that?” He asked, suddenly getting a little too personal for my liking.
He must have noticed my unsure face.
“Please, I don’t mean to pry. I just wanted to get an idea of who will be joining us in the delivery room. You have not mentioned the father once at any of your appointments. I apologize if I am being too forward.” He sadly smiled.
I gave him a reassuring smile in return. “No, it’s alright. I just don’t like talking about it. The father has recently passed away. Car accident.” I simply said, trying to hide my emotions the best I can.
“Oh dear! Olivia... please accept my sincere apologies!” The doctor fumbled with the wand leaning against my stomach.
“No, it’s quite alright, Doc. No need to apologize. It is what it is I suppose. All I can do now is move forward. Start a new life with my baby.” I sadly smiled, longing for Landon to be sitting next to me with his warm hand resting in my own.
“Oh, by the way, my best friend Tori will be in the delivery room with me.” I smiled.
I told her she didn’t have to witness child birth if she didn’t want to, but she nearly begged me to let her be a part of my child’s birthing. I just couldn’t say no to sharing that experience with my best friend.
“That’s wonderful! What a special experience to share.” My doctor smiled up at me.
“Now, Olivia, are you ready to find out if you’re painting the nursery blue or pink?” The doctor smirked as he held a folder in his hand revealing the gender of my child.
“Oh gosh... it’s happening. Okay, I’m ready!” I blurted out, not too sure if I truly believed myself.
The doctor opened up the tan colored folder, and glanced at the piece of paper.
“Well, I know you told me you wanted a girl, but... You’ve got a strong baby boy in your belly Ms. Harper!” He rose his eyebrows with a small smile.
I wasn’t sure what to feel. Happiness, sadness, nervousness, amazed, etc. I couldn’t exactly put my feelings into words even if I desperately wanted to.
I felt water lining the rims of my eyes as I slowly sat up, pulling my shirt down over my bulging stomach.
“Oh my... a boy. I’m having a boy. I-I can’t believe it!” I exclaimed. The doctor couldn’t tell whether to cheer or not, so he just stood there and let me feel every single one of my feelings.
“I hope you’re happy about this Olivia. I think I may know your reasoning behind not wanting a boy, but please don’t let that take away from the happiness you should feel right now. Your baby boy will be strong, just like his mother and he will be there to comfort you, in any way that you need. He may look like the father, but you will grow to love that about him. Getting to see just a small bit of the father every day, will make you miss him just a little bit less I think.” He smiled warmly at me.
I had not realized it yet, but I was full on crying. Everything the doctor said was true. I should not feel bad that I didn’t get a girl, I should feel happy that I will have a piece of Landon with me no matter what. If the baby does look like Landon, I will feel joy everytime I look at him even if there is still a bit of sadness.
“Thank you so much Dr. J!” I got up off the exam table and suddenly leaped into his arms, hugging him tightly. He gently patted my back and then stood back, letting my arms fall to my sides.
“You’re very welcome Ms. Harper. Now, let me go print up some ultrasound pictures for you.” He smiled while leaving the room.
I stood there amazed as I wrapped my right hand around the bottom of my stomach.
“Hey there little guy. I’m so glad that I have you. Your father would be so happy if he were here with me.” I wiped a tear from my cheek as I sat down on the chair in the corner of the room. “No matter what, you’re going to be so loved!” I smiled looking down at my stomach.
Almost immediately after talking, I felt movement inside of my belly. I jumped up from the chair and started to panic.
The doctor came walking back into the room and looked at me with startled eyes.
“What’s wrong, Olivia?” The doctor asked, walking over to me.
“There was movement!” I looked up at the doctor, still holding my stomach.
“Wow, for your first pregnancy, he’s a little early in the moving department. That’s great, means he’s stronger than we thought!” The doctor smiled brightly. “Congratulations Olivia, you just felt your baby kick for the very first time!”
“Oh my Gosh!” I cheered, rubbing soothing circles around my stomach. “I’ve never felt anything more incredible in my entire life!” I exclaimed.
“This is only the beginning, dear.” Dr. J smiled as he patted my shoulder. “Here’s your pictures.” He handed them to me and I immediately began looking at them, not able to get enough of my precious little boy.
“Thank you so much! See you for my next appointment!” I smiled warmly as I exited the room.
“Take care!” Dr. J yelled after me.
I held the pictures close to my chest as I darted for the wooden door leading out to Riley.
“Rie!” I yelled as I walked through the door. “Rie!”
“What is it?” He jumped up, startled by my sudden outburst.
“Ugh!” I yelled with a smile.
“Ugh!” He yelled back with an even bigger smile.
“Let’s get back to Tori!” I smiled, eager to get to the car as I passed Riley and darted for the front office doors.
“Aren’t you going to tell me!” He urged, following me out to the car.
“I want to tell everyone at the same time!” I smiled, not able to take the smile away from my own face.
“Fine! Let’s go!” He urged, closing the car door for me before getting in the driver’s seat.
About a week ago, Riley finally took his first drive since the accident. He was very skeptical, but I pushed him to do it with the help of Tori. He needed to overcome his fear. He hated the thought of having to drive me to my doctor’s appointment today, but he was the only one able to since Tori had classes.
Luckily, I didn’t have any classes today. I am almost finished catching up from the work I missed while everything happened at the hospital, and from being gone a few days for the funeral. A few more assignments turned in, and I will be right back on schedule. That is, until I have this baby.
After about twenty minutes of driving, we finally reached the school’s campus. We walked quickly to Tori’s dorm and hoped she was already back from class.
Upon entering the room, we saw Tori laying lazily on her futon while munching on some potato chips.
“Get up lazy bones! I have news!” I smiled widely, flashing the ultrasound pictures in the air.
“Oh yay!” She cheered, sitting up from her position on the bed.
“Okay, Riley, get out your phone. You need to call Landon’s parents and put them on speaker. I’ll call dad and do the same. Hurry!” I urged, not able to wait another second before I spilled the news of the gender.
“Hello Barbara, is Brian home?” Riley asked.
“Yes, hang on.” She put the phone on speaker and so did Riley.
“He’s here with me now, what’s going on? Is Olivia and the baby okay?” They asked, an immediate panic laced in their words.
“Everything is fine! Olivia has some exciting news to share! We just have to get our father on the phone.” Riley smiled, holding up his cellphone.
“Dad! Are you able to talk?” I asked once he picked up the phone.
“Yes dear, is everything alright with the baby?” He asked, causing me to roll my eyes at everyone’s first question whenever I call.
“Yes, everything is fine. I’ve got Barbara and Brian on the phone too. I have news to share with all of you!” I squealed, still standing up with excitement.
“Okay, spill!” Barbara spoke loudly through the speaker.
“Well... I found out the gender of the baby today.” I slowly spoke. The silence following was deafening.
“Well... what are we having?” Tori yelled, causing me to chuckle at her anxiousness.
“It’s a boy!” I yelled, preparing myself for the four arms about to be thrown my way for hugs.
“Oh my gosh!” Tori yelled as she threw her arms around my neck! “A little baby boy!”
Riley followed suit and began hugging me as well, causing Riley and I both to drop our phones.
We heard muffled talking from the floor and I cursed as Riley bent over to pick up the phones.
“What was that guys?” I asked.
“We are so excited! Our grandson will be beautiful!” Barbara cried into the phone, I knew the waterworks were only a matter of time.
“Yes, a grandson! I can’t wait to teach him everything I know!” My dad proudly announced. “Oh, and congratulations Barbara and Brian!” My dad spoke loudly so they could hear.
“Thanks, you too other Grandpa!” Brian teased my dad.
I smiled big at their words and excitement. Everyone was so happy and I was so happy that I almost forgot about the numbing experience I felt only a few short months ago. My whole word came crashing down, but today, it felt as though my world were slowly starting to rebuild itself.
“I’m going to be, literally, the best uncle in the entire world. I hope you’re aware of that Liv.” Riley smiled as he placed an arm around Tori’s shoulders.
“There’s one more thing I would like to announce.” I smiled.
“Don’t tell me there’s twins!” Tori squealed.
“No, there’s only one baby in this tummy.” I laughed. “I wanted to announce something to you and to Riley.” I shyly smiled.
“Well, what is it?” Tori demanded to know, having no patience whatsoever.
Barbara, Brian and my father were still listening through the phones.
“I would love to ask you Tori, and you Riley, to be the God parents to my child.” I announced proudly. “With Landon gone,-” I looked down with a sad smile, “I just want to know that if anything ever happens to me,-” I heard my father say “God forbid”, “I want to know that my child is well taken care of.”
I looked up at both Riley and Tori and I had to fight back the tears threatening to spill upon seeing their expressions.
Riley looked so proud and so honored, while Tori began crying.
“Of course we will be the God parents!” Tori gushed while wrapping her arms around me for a second time. “Even if we end up splitting up, we will share custody of the baby!” She teased, sticking her tongue out at Riley.
“Hey! You’re not getting rid of me ever!” Riley pouted as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Aww, I know that.” Tori walked over and kissed Riley against his forehead.
“Ugh, stop that.” My dad huffed over the speaker.
“Sorry pops!” Riley said with a smirk, though our dad couldn’t see.
“And don’t smirk towards me either!” Okay, maybe he could see us through the phone.
Riley’s smirk instantly fell and Tori laughed.
“I am so sorry, but we have to go. Dinner reservations. Please keep us posted and I want copies of those ultrasound pictures mailed out first thing!” Barbara chimed in over the phone.
“You got it! Have a nice dinner!” I smiled, gesturing for Riley to hang up his phone.
“I have to go too, work break is nearly over. I am so happy Liv. You’re going to be a wonderful mother, just like yours.” I could tell he was smiling, and I found myself getting teary eyed again.
“Thanks dad!” I beamed.
“Riley, you take care of your sister, you hear me? Anything she needs, don’t hesitate!” Our dad demanded.
“Um, when have I ever?” Riley responded with a shrug.
“Good response. Take care kiddos!” Then he hung up the phone as well.
“Liv, we have got to get to the mall to start buying cute baby clothes! Oh and a nursery, we need to...” Then she immediately paused. Looking down at her feet.
“Um, are you planning on going back to your apartment anytime soon or will you be making half of my dorm room a nursery?” She light-heartedly joked while looking up with a small smile.
I hadn’t thought about it in a few weeks now, having been staying here in the dorms with Tori. I suppose I need to go back to my apartment sometime soon, to start preparing for the baby’s arrival.
“I um... maybe this weekend.” I said with a small smile of my own.
“Riley and I will help you with whatever you need!” Tori promised as she held onto my hand. Riley nodded confirming Tori’s promise as he placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Thank you both...” I nervously replied.
Well Olivia, it’s now or never.