Scarlett's Death Wish

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Night 12: Past Untold

Last night belongs to one of the nights I don’t know what am I feeling. I was back at a no-sleep day because Chris caused it again. Wondering why? Maybe I should tell everything anyways since you deserve to.

After a few chats about Shiela whom I found out is really his fiancé – but the thing is, it is definitely not in his favor. Only their fathers decided for the union and only Shiela agreed to them. He asked me to come with him so we both sneaked through the undone fire exit at the back and both risk our lives jumping for about six feet high. It was easy for someone that has a death wish; like it wasn’t dangerous at all. Samuel have gone first and waited for me downstairs; also checking if Shiela totally left. After reaching the ground, he led me to his car and we drove up the hill to a place I have a no idea where.

After an hour and a half ride, we reached an approximately 7-floored lighthouse. He ran towards that high structure and asked me to come with him. It just surprises me because it has an elevator inside. “This was the present my father gave me when I graduated from college, more like a bribe to take part of the company. They knew I wanted a high place.”

“Rich oldies you got. They don’t think you’ll jump from here?”

“They thought about that so they made sure everything is covered.”

Once we reached the top, I thought it was covered with rails but instead, it is more fascinating. It looks like a penthouse with a spacious floor. There’s a long sofa, a lot of lights, a bathroom and mini kitchen I think and a furry carpet with pillows in it. It wasn’t covered with rails but glass wall almost half of the entire place.

“It’s a laminated glass so tiredness to break it might kill me first.” Far from the center, I saw an astronomical telescope which what I’ve always wanted ever since I was a child. “Oh, wanna check it?” He might have noticed me staring at one of his obsessions in life.

“Can I?”

“Sure. Take your time.” I ran to it like a child and saw how wonderful the sky is when seen closer. I might cry. “Also a gift by my sister. She always keeps up with my luxury in life.”

“That’s nice people you got there. The most expensive thing I got was this phone.” I smiled and went to the furry carpet. As respect, I decided to take my shoes off and lay down.

I didn’t know I fell asleep when I woke up this morning alone in a very bright place. I’m not naked which is a good thing but I was covered with a thick black blanket with a note on my cheeks.

“Sorry, urgent call from work. Eric’s waiting for you downstairs. I texted you the password on the elevator and the door.” I wonder what time is it since there is no clock hanging on the wall. I rushed to the elevator without even bothering to tidy things because everything’s neat. I inputted the lock he gave me and met Eric downstairs waiting outside the car. How long could he possibly waiting for me? I woke up a little late.

“Good morning, Miss.” He smiled at me and extend his hands. Of course, I took it.

“Scarlett. Where’s Samuel?”

“He’s still on the office. He asked me to get you home.” As the most gentleman of all, he opened the door and helped me inside. Now, this is a very luxurious car.

On the ride, no one’s talking until Eric looked at me through the rear mirror and we caught each other’s glances.

“If you won’t mind, Miss Scarlett. Are you Sir Samuel’s girlfriend?”

That question choked me even though I have no food and anything I took since last night.

“I am just an acquaintance.”

“Oh. Sorry I thought you were since you are the first one to climb upstairs except from his parents.”

And that was the reason I’m still thinking about it. I have never been curious and touched in my whole life. The alarm goes on meaning I should prepare on going to the diners. I took a bath and wore comfy clothes. I snuck my bag on my right shoulder and before I left, Mother Cleo was at the door, probably want to send me off properly.

“We didn’t see you when we leave? Where have you been?”

“Hmm. I fell asleep upstairs. Sorry, Sister.”

“That’s fine, next time tell me if you’re going anywhere. Off you go honey.”

I reached the diner fifteen minutes late because of I got into a mini collision with a rude woman who spilled me her soda and blamed me for it. I wasted those minutes arguing with her because it’s not my fault but hers. Sooner, she gave up because I basically called all the mercy but I still feel unlucky because I am now wearing only a tank top since my hoodie is still wet and sweet. Good thing Chris ordered one of the washers to wash it for me. I now have to wear my sleeves cover so that my scars can be hidden from the judgmental eyes of society. My bare shoulders can be seen as well as the Fire Rose Unity Survivor tattoo that Lady Gaga made famous for victims of sexual abuse. It is located on my right shoulder bone which in anyway can kill me soon.

Anyway, surprisingly, I wasn’t anticipating for Samuel tonight to come into the diners since something good happened last night and I think things are going too fast and they were too much for me. A person treats me the way I don’t think I deserve and even showed me his favorite place like I am a family.

I still have doubts too and I am afraid it might be true – that he’s doing everything out of pity. That can really be worse than being treated bad by the society I belong.

“Scarlett, table 8.” Chris asked from the counter. As usual, it was a strawberry milkshake for someone I didn’t know was here. Too early to talk a lot. It was Shiela listening to an iPod while waiting for her order. She’s obviously an American; typical blonde, white and has blue eyes. The freckles on her cheeks is nice too. Many find it ugly but I like those things.

“Strawberry milkshake! Are you sure it’s 50% sugar?” She raised one eyebrow on me. She could have noticed I was talking to her man last night and didn’t know I was the reason she was ditched.

“Yes ma’am, aside from it came from a picky girl, you are the only one who orders them! Do you need anything else, Ma’am?” She was kind of offended by what I said but I also didn’t know why it came from my mouth. What a really bad tongue I got here. She did not dare to talk back and just flipped long blonde hair then rolled her eyes. I turned my back and smiled while taking my phone because it was vibrating.


[Scarlett, is she there?]

Crap. It’s Samuel.

“Hmm, yes? Why?”

[Fuck it. That means I can’t go.]


[When did you get slow, Scarlett?] Oh yes, he’s right. [Anyway, I am on my way for a milkshake but she’s probably there waiting for me. Thanks a lot, I’ll head back now. Bye-]

He was about to end the call but I can’t let that happen. Some part of me wanted to see him.

“I can hand it over you know. Fresh and cool.”

[For real? That’s great. I’ll send the address.]

“No. Just pull over somewhere on your way. I can’t leave the diner for long.”

[Sure. I’ll text you.]

I put the phone down and put the order to the counter. There’s Chris smiling at me suspiciously.

“Who was that that made you smile?”

“Chris, stop… By any chance, can I go leave for 10 minutes? Someone ordered a milkshake.”

“And who was that? He even personally called you.”


“Alright. Make it fifteen. It’s just a few customers anyway.” As soon as the order is ready, I put it in an airtight large tumbler and flew to the address he sent me. I snatched Chris’s motorbike. He said he pulled over to a park just 500 meters away from the place I work.

I made the place so he came out of his car with hands on his pockets. Too bad you can’t see how hot he looks right now.

“Aren’t you cold? Why are you bare in this weather?”

“It just happened. That’s six dollars.” I hand over the milkshake which he drank right away.

“Isn’t it only five?”

“There is a charge, sir.” He got no choice but to get cash on his wallet full of credit cards and gave me exactly six bucks.

“So, how much time do we got?”

“10 minutes more and I’m back to work. Your girl is still there waiting for you.”

“She’s not my girl, Scarlett. Anyway, you look hot in that bike.” He pointed the ride I got while leaning on his car and finishing his drink. “And that’s a cool tattoo.” I pulled the strap of the top to partially cover the thing he just saw. I can sense from him that he wanted to know why I got that one.

After a long silence, I don’t know but I decided to open it up about him.

No one knows about that night. Even the nuns at Saint Mary Angels and no one at the diners. It’s just me. 21st of January 2016, 2 years ago. It became one of the reasons why I wanted to take my life.

I was walking down the road after getting fired from my previous work. I got into a fight with a female customer because she insulted me. Didn’t know she’s friends with bunch of guys who can do anything with money. They kidnapped me on my way home and one of them, a guy named Scorpion, did it without my consent. I was raped when I was 19 years old.

The most unfortunate thing of my life and it still haunts me that’s why I take a different schedule of a job at the diners to avoid walking alone at night. I can still remember his face, the piercings on his lips that scratched onto mine and the satisfaction he got from me.

Samuel was silent for the whole time. I was thinking he’s digesting the story I just told and thinking if he’s going to talk to a woman like me again. I closed my eyes strongly regretting why I let the secret out after a long time. Suddenly, I felt a cloth covered my face.

“You’re lucky I still have that hoodie in my car. Wear it to avoid the risk of being in that situation again. You got a nice figure too.” The hoodie he threw me was the one he’s wearing on the rainy night he visited the diners. “Smile for me, Scarlett. That doesn’t make you a dirty person.”

Someone accepted me.

I made it back to the diners after thirty minutes. Double of the time Chris granted me to deliver that milkshake. I am wearing the hoodie that guy lend me which shocks Chris and also Shiela who’s currently paying at the counter. She takes the time inspecting the hoodie then finally talk.

“Hey. That thing looks familiar… Well, could be a fake duplicate of my fiancé’s hoodie.” She’s about to ignore me and the hoodie of his fiancé when when I came closer, she decided to sniff on it. As fast as the wind, she grabbed my hair and laid a palm on my cheeks.

“Why are you wearing Samuel’s hoodie!!!!” She’s still having a hold of my hair and before Chris get to me to stop her, someone already pulled her so she landed on her butt in front of many customers gossiping. Everyone is surprised even me because Samuel is holding my shoulders while facing his back on Shiela still sitting on the floor. Things are happening so fast.

“Samuel! What are you doing! Help me!” Shiela cried like a baby and I’m still trying my best not to laugh at her situation.

“You can do it Shiela. I’m not momma.” Instead of helping her, Samuel laughed like she’s just a friend and not his fiancé. But then, sooner, he realized he should help her as a gentleman. “Next time try to be nice. This is the reason I can’t marry you.” I heard him whisper in a serious tone while grabbing her arms. Chris is on my back asking if I was okay but he’s smiling to the hoodie I was wearing.

“This means nothing, Chris.”

“Well. What he’s doing right now does.”

“Why are you taking her side! I’m your fiancé! Why is she wearing your hoodie!”

This is one of the first time to feel tensed and pressured. We are all anticipating to what Samuel’s going to say to his soon-to-be wife and how would he explain what was going on. But when he answered, I was more nervous. Chris punched me in the shoulders (teasing me), the gossips are louder than it was before and Samuel is just smiling like nothing is going to go wrong soon.

“Scarlett is my girlfriend.”

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