Night 18: Out Of Control
I survived last night. Things weren’t as awkward as I expected because we slept on the same bed. He was really a gentleman to put a pillow in between us and he even let me choose which side do I like. In the morning, he made breakfast not because I woke up later than he did, but I don’t know what breakfast to make.
It’s night again, but colder than yesterday. There are no stars and all you can hear is the cricket sound outside while we’re both stuck inside the camper, eating noodles.
“So, what we’re going to do tomorrow?” I asked.
“I’m thinking of going back, I can’t take this weather anymore.”
“Yeah, me too.”
A little silence then Samuel speaks up.
“Can I ask you a favor?” He’s not looking at me, and just scooping his noodles.
“What is it?”
“When we go back, things will be complicated again. Not for you, but for me. Shiela has been forcing my father about the wedding.” I suddenly felt sad for him. Not just like any other guys, his expression shows that he doesn’t really want to marry Shiela. “For my whole life, nothing has ever been my decision. From my hobbies to my work, they were the one who chose it for me. I feel like I’m living a life that is not even mine.” He stopped staring at his food and finally looked at me. Not just that, I was startled when he held my hand that was on the table. His hands were really cold as cold as his eyes right now. I can see in his eyes what he wants me to do and how he wants me to help him.
“I know it’s too fast but, can you-”
I know what he’s going to say but what I did next is really out of control. I scoot over the table and kissed him. For the first time, my mind isn’t working on its own. We were like that for a minute until he grabbed me by the neck to respond to that kiss. That was far different than the other guys I’ve kissed. Suddenly, he pulls his face away.
“Is that a yes?” He said smiling but still with his lonely eyes. I nodded and that’s the only time when everything I did sink in. “No worries, your lips were perfect.”
Did my heart just skip?