Scarlett's Death Wish

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Night 23: Ups and Downs


“Hey, he hasn’t called you yet?” Chris asked while we’re busy recording the receipts of what we bought yesterday. I shrugged and continue doing my work while glancing at my phone from time to time. Samuel didn’t come back yesterday and did not even returned my calls or just texted me what happened to Shiela. He is just M.I.A and that caused my insomnia right away. I am worried about what happened but I still hope everything will be fine.

My phone vibrated on my pocket and it was a text message from an unknown number.

[It’s Eric. He didn’t come to work and wasn’t able to attend his meetings, do you know where he could be?]

This time, I know something is wrong. Nothing is fine.

“What is it?” Chris noticed I removed my apron and wear my jacket instead.

“They don’t know where he is.”

“What are you going to do? You’ll look?”

“Can I?”

“Take your time, dear. Here.” He handed me the key of his motorbike and smiled. Thank goodness I have Chris by my side. I drove to the lighthouse and I found out he’s there. I can see from my place that the curtains are laid down at the 7th floor. I pressed the lock and entered the password and reach the top.

“Sam?” No one answered to my call so I decided to enter and looked for the switch. When the lights opened, my heart just broke. He’s in the couch with a beer bottle on his hands, sleeping. There are cigarette butts and empty bottles at the floor.

I asked myself, do I have to thank him that he didn’t do anything to his body? I don’t see any slits or blood in his skin just his gloomy face. I texted Eric that I found his boss and tidy up his place. I was in the middle of it when he moved,

“Scarlett…” He greeted with those sleepy and wasted eyes.

“Hi.” I responded. I tried to read him for what happened but suddenly, he came and hugged me. “What is it?”

“Nothing. I just don’t know what she’ll do after all what I said to her.” I patted his back in return and we stayed like that for a long time. Samuel doesn’t seem clingy but he really is.

I heard his phone ringing and since I am the nearest, I gave it to him.

“It’s dad.” From being a lonely guy, he turned nervous immediately. He bites his lip before answering and I just continue cleaning instead of eavesdropping to what seems a very serious conversation. He might have found out what his son did to his fiancé and probably going to lash out everything to him.

“Fuck.” I looked at him while he’s putting the phone down. This wasn’t the reaction I was expecting; he is smiling and his face shines a little brighter than what they were earlier.

“What did he say?”

“He says… Shiela called it off. Shiela called off the wedding.”

“What? How about the investment?”

“Since Shiela called it off herself, the money stays.” Then he smiled which I missed since yesterday.

“Well, congratulations then. What did you say to her anyway?”

“Hmm, just gave her my sincerity. Nothing else.” He hugged me once again without saying more about it. I suddenly felt both happy and sad. Do I need to stop being at his side and just return to being friends – friends who shares the same goal in life; nothing more, nothing less. After realizing that he’s been hugging me frequently this night, he decided to let go.

“I’m embarrassed. I realized I wasn’t taking a bath since last night…” My eyebrows furrowed that time because aside from he sounds funny, he smells good. “Wait for me, I’ll take a bath and I’ll drive you to the diners.” He ran to the bathroom while I continue to clean up his place. His phone rang again but it was only a text message.

[I did what you wished. Now, stop pretending that you and that diner’s girl is on a relationship; if you don’t deserve me, then you don’t deserve her as well.]

It was a short message but the last line is what broke my heart. I was just thinking about it but is it really needed? Cut off my happiness real-quick? Yes, I don’t deserve such a nice man like Samuel. He’s rich, smart, gentleman and his flaws made him perfect but is that necessary, Shiela?

An hour passed and there’s Samuel coming out from the bathroom wearing a brown sweatshirt and denim pants. We drive back to the diners with him riding Chris’s motorbike. And there, he just took a table and ordered a milkshake and pizza.

“What happened to him?” Chris asked as soon as I took his order to the counter.

“Just things, but all good now.”

“He’s good but you don’t look happy.” Maybe I just have to admit that what I thought will be the start of something new, it only looks like I’m just experiencing the usual – Hang out with guys, kiss and break up.

“Nothing will never go on my way, ever.” I said before taking the tray to Samuel’s table. “Here’s your strawberry milkshake and pizza, sir. Do you have anything else to add?” I said like he is just a common customer. I just had to do that instead of being dumped first.

“Hey, why do you sound serious?” He asked perplexed and reached for my hand which I let go after a few seconds.

“I need to get back to work. Just… eat.” I replied and lifelessly walked away. Scarlett, you don’t have to sound so serious. There’s Chris shaking his head to what I did and Christina staring at me; her eyes asking what happened. I got one beer from the cooler before heading on the back to light a cigarette.

Here we go again.

*phone ringing* It’s Eric calling.

[Miss Scarlett, is Sam okay?]

“Yeah, he’s fine.”

[At the diners?]


“Can you fetch him? He’s just finishing his food.”

[Sure, Miss. I’ll be there.]

“… and if he asked for me, tell him I want to be alone.”

Eric’s about to ask why but I already hung up. I resume drinking and smoking when Christina showed up.

“Hey, lover boy’s looking for you.” She interrupted. “You’re not going to talk to him? He seems upset.” I shook my head and just light up the second cigarette.

“Tell him that Chris ordered me to do something rush.”

“This sound serious, but alright. I’ll deliver the message. I’ll text you when he’s gone.” Christina went back outside and after the 4th cigarette, she texted me to come back. When I came back, Samuel’s not there anymore. Just a few customers staying at midnight, Chris staring at me still shaking his head and Christina with worries on her eyes.

“Samuel left and you didn’t even see him off.”

“He’s worried. Tell us what happened.” They gathered next to me at the counter and just waited for me to fill them in with what my brain has been thinking for the moment.

“Samuel’s fine since Shiela called the wedding off with her father’s share staying, but he told Samuel he doesn’t deserve someone like me.”

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