Scarlett's Death Wish

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Night 24: Lost and Found


Samuel has been sending text messages and missing calls from me since last night. I don’t know what is happening to me but I’m back at the diners, doing the usual – cleaning and serving. I am expecting him to go here but I also hope he’s busy doing work as well. Eric also, has been asking me why but I just can’t tell him why. I can’t even give Samuel a reason why I haven’t been replying to his texts and why am I acting cold after him, solving a huge problem. Despite all this, he said he understands if I’m busy and that disappoints me. What can I say? I don’t deserve him? I don’t want to be his friend anymore?

Chris is still talking to me about it, and also Christina has been telling me to give him the explanation he deserves. They are also boosting me by saying I need to get my senses back to its right place.

“Can someone take this trash outside??!” Ben yelled from the kitchen. Chris and Christina looked around for the new cleaner but he’s nowhere to be found again.

“I’ll take it. I hate his voice.” I ran to the kitchen and took the sack of rotten goods to the back. Another way to let me feel I’m back to the old times; where I am just the lady who takes care of trashes.

While putting them up to the huge waste bin, I heard footsteps coming from a narrow alley. I thought it was just a man who’s meeting another person for a drug exchange since this place has been my smoking ground but also the place where random people exchange goods in secret.

I was wrong.

It’s Samuel, still on his office suit slowly approaching me while I became stiff all of a sudden; just like all my courage to be cold to him disappeared.

“Hey.” He uttered. I am not moving nor saying a word. I just stood here and wait until my body move on its own because his gaze is refraining me from doing anything. “You haven’t been returning my calls; you were ignoring me last night until now, obviously.” He added with his voice sounding upset and curious. My mouth is frozen like it works on its own not to say any dangerous words that can hurt the both of us. My mind wants to say that I should just push him away but my hearts says otherwise.

“You’re not going to talk so I’ll stay here until you talk to me.”

“Just go away.” I whispered in this cold, dark and quiet place.

“I won’t... Is this about what Shiela said?” That part, my head just bowed down. “I just found out you might have read it because I don’t see any reason what could have caused that behavior.”

“It is not just that, Samuel.”

“Then what is it Scarlett? Tell me!” He’s completely stunned and I am startled to his voice.

“It’s not just she made me realize that I don’t deserve you but the fact that this relationship will end because you and Shiela are done. I serve no purpose now!” I yelled with my voice loudly echoing around. He smiled slyly, I am confused. He walked closer and held my face with his warm palm.

“Do you think I only asked you just because of her? Don’t you get it? I didn’t even use you against that marriage and eventually, Shiela just found out about us...” At the moment, my heart beats faster... “Just stop thinking about what Shiela said. She doesn’t get to say who I deserve and who I don’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“If this is not what you thought during our vacation, would you still say yes?”

The question slowly sinks in and I just try to remember what he’s about to ask during vacation in which I responded a kiss. So, he wasn’t just asking me just to pretend in front of Shiela and have someone by his side?

“You’re taking too long. It’s cold in here.” Before he looked away once again, I just grabbed him by the neck and pushed my lips into his. I can only use this way to say yes. His lips taste like mint. I know he’s always astonished because I’m always doing the first move and something he’s not anticipating for the moment. He froze for a little time then smiled before releasing me; keeping our forehead still glued to each other.

“You’re so hard to resist, Scarlett. I like that.” His hands tightened around my waist and his lips just brushed into mine while I wonder what I should tell Chris about taking a trash that long.

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