Scarlett's Death Wish

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Night 8: The Truth Told By The Stranger

I went home yesterday exhausted and I felt so sick when I had to get soaked by the rain since there is no way of transport because of the weather. It’s past 6PM and I just can’t get off the bed and just waiting to Mother Cleo to knock and check on me.


There she is. I couldn’t get the door so she opened it instead with her hands on her stomach - the usual way to greet. “Why aren’t you ready for work? Did you get fired?” She asks worriedly. I shook my head which is a bad move because I just felt dizzier than usual. She rushed to me and put a hand on my forehead.

“You have a fever, dear. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Easiest way to die right.” I whispered and pull the blanket up to my mouth because I’m freezing. Mother Cleo go out and came back with food, medicine and a teenager. I was wondering why she’d bring a teenager until the girl started picking everything and putting them on the right place. She got my bag on the floor but it was open and she accidentally let everything out of my bag. To name a few - there is a cigarette pack, the scarf Chris gave me, a pencil case, a pair of arm cover - but I can’t see my notebook.

With the heaviness I got in my body, I still managed to get up and panicked because my notebook is not in my bag.

“Wait, you’re not well. Lay down.”

“No, my notebook...” I said while the teenager froze while still holding my bag. “I... Have you seen a notebook? Is it not there?” She just shook her head and did not manage to say a word because I can see her expression being scared and totally keeping her eye contact with me. “Is it not in the room???” I tried to raise my voice but I couldn’t. The world, again, started spinning so I went to lie down again.

“Maybe you just misplaced it. Are you sure it’s in your bag?”

“I can’t lose that.”

“Look it sounds so important but maybe you left it in the diners?” Right, diners. I tried to grab my phone by the side but Mother Cleo took it from me. “No radiation. You got fever. Eat and drink the medicine after okay? I’ll call Chris and let him check the diners.”

“Sure... Just tell him not to open it.” Mother Cleo smiled before closing the door. I looked at the tray beside me and tried to eat but I just can’t. I reach for the curtains and pulled it to the side to see how mad the sky is. I wish my notebook’s safe.

I woke up with the sound of my door being opened and a man and a familiar voice of a nun are talking outside. I opened my eyes but only managed the half of it. Tried to identify the man coming in while his hands are on his pocket. He’s wearing a really formal suit while walking towards me. I did not recognize him until he squatted in front of me, smiling. I saw the familiar KGC brooch and now figured out who came.

“Wow, you’re sick but you still manage to roll eyes? That’s amazing.” I turn my back to him and just close my eyes. I can’t stand looking at him especially in this kind of situation.

“What are you doing here?”

“I went to the diners and Chris told me you’re sick so I came here instead.”

“TO confirm? Well, you’ve seen me, you can go.”

“Okay, I expected this kind of response. I’ll let it go since you’re not feeling well but can’t you ask why I care?” I can hear a bit of disappointment on his voice but who cares. But I realize I lost.

“Okay, so what brought you here?”

“Great. Chris told me to give you your notebook.” My eyes went open again and I finally face him. He’s holding out my notebook and I can see in his face that he did something. He’s sad, cold and biting his lower lip.

“Did you, perhaps, look into it?”

“Why do you do this to yourself?” A silence fell in the room. Only the thunder roaring and the sound of the raindrops on my window can be heard. I can’t answer and I don’t want to. He’s just a random guy, a stranger and that’s all. I can’t be telling him why am I like this but my tongue itches as if it want to speak.

“No need to answer. Probably why I did the same thing to myself years ago.” He suddenly pull his sleeves and it revealed what I hadn’t expected to see from him. His right arm is full of scar keloid probably caused by slits. What surprise me the most is that there are still few that are fresh; like they we made yesterday.

“Dozen of slits, got my vein stitched to live, few hospital admissions because I tried to overdose myself and freaked out the whole town because I tried to jump from the 5th floor of that same hospital.” Samuel is smiling while still staring at me. He pulled his sleeves back down and put the notebook on my pillow. He was about to talk again when a phone call interrupted the momentum.

“Yes, Clarissa?... Now?... Okay. Five minutes and tell Eric to get me to the address I’ll send.” He dropped the call and looked back at me. “If you wanna hear my story, and share yours, you should take this medicine.” He might have noticed that the cold medicine it unopened and the glass of water is untouched as well as the food. He helped me get up and also helped me with the medicine. Just in time, someone knocked.

“Sir, someone’s looking for you downstairs.” Sister Emily told Samuel.

“Hey...” I finally spoke a word but...

“Five minutes is over. Save that question when we see each other again.” I watched him walk away still seeing the face he had while talking about his suicidal attempts that he really did.

He’s brave, I must say. I got my suicidal attempts only written in the notebook he brought here. He even made me forget that I need to get mad at him because he looked inside that notebook.

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