It grew tiresome and lonely. It got on her nerves she did not believe what had happened to her she had to survive in order to write but was it survival? It was living death, like being in a coffin with entire world shut out and you shut in.
The gaga mum would laugh at her discomfort she would watch the same programmes as her imbecile mum and they would laugh together to see their miserable lives reflected in soaps.
Everyone thought I had no education or culture because I was mad. Everyone was watching the same soaps and I would be tarnished about telling different tales to different people.
Which tales are yours and may we all share them too? What is your story? What is the reason behind that smile? What is yours and mine the body the spirit and what is holy inside you what is you the very essence of you. What makes you?”
“We don’t need any more humans on earth we are now about to become extinct because we do nothing but kills each other.”
“Is there nothing left for humanity but that?”
“For the sake of humanity what is this for?”
“YOU are a prostitute a whore, you God damn going to be a whore. First impressions are the most important. I want you to be a whore. To earn your money by male companions even you won’t be able to tolerate yourself. You stinking whore.”
“First impressions and you haven’t slept with me.”
“But I HAVE slept with you!”
“Not had sex with me.”
“Well I’m not a man I don’t know what I am doing.”
“You should by now.”
“But look get out of here this is my house. Get out of here this is my house. Get lost from here this is my property.”
“Stop that you are going to do as I say otherwise your life won’t be worth the skirt you have on.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“It is a promise.”
“Where did your lovey-dovey tunes go?”
“It went with the wind.”
“You mean because I farted that is why?”
“That is why!”
“Have you thought that about what you are doing?”
“I’m the king and that is what kings do! They are not farted at nor are they spat at nor do they have rejections nor do they have anyone say no to them.”
What have I let myself into? Emine you are fired Emine Emine forever bonking this and that guy. You are terror to behold a doused up cow. Emine? Emine you are going to go into him and him and him and him and never let go of yourself. Emine you are terrible. Remember this creature that was? She is sat inside herself resting from the arms of this and that men. Look at her the poor dear hasn’t felt for ages. The men inside her don’t know her past nor do they want to know her future. They are present and correct and they deal blows instead of love. They love words and bandying this and that creature but they always come and visit Emine she is the monument she was the one rejecting a King so they have to pay their respects to her and her virtue.
Emine can’t love anybody she doesn’t know one man from the next it is money that counts it is her unassailable position to be the brunt of jokes. The joker in the pack comes and gives her one the other jokers follow. Emine sees to it they are satisfied they offer her a drink and she takes to it like water. Emine is outside in the streets getting the drink that feeds her. She now does it for a glass of wine. She is so used up she is placed into the bins and she sleeps there like a baby until she dies of exhaustion.
Emine chides herself she does have an over wrought imagination and seeing that Turkish film she identifies with those poor woman. She gets up from the chair she has been crying. She is watching these films as if they are nectar she is so used to watching these films they start well young love and money and things like a rich bloke offering all the money in the world. The girl gets seduced and she goes with the youthful step comes back old and worn out disillusioned and bitterly finds the man of her life bitter. He stares and stares at the whore as she returns and she is making all the moves as before he was. Emine looks again she is crying her soul goes out to these poor creatures who can be anybody. She is crying herself to an early grave or to some sort of action. There is no happy ending there is nothing but guilt and remorse and even if the whore marries she is a bad wife and mother goes back to those men. They grab her she has no option but to destroy herself as well as the baby and the man her husband. He is there seeing to his end while she spends his money and drinks with those louts. He has to mortgage the house the business and the woman who loved him is no more she is scum. She leaves him taking the cradles of his dreams while the baby dies. He follows her and knifes her. The other woman who has waited patiently waits for him to come out of jail. They marry after eight years and they have a baby.
“Who’s the victim?”
“Who made them these people?”
“If there are no laws to protect weak people then where is the fair society?”