One Green Bottle

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Chapter 24

My ex was looking for the perfect woman. I was looking for reality. The perfection and reality don’t co-exist for nothing is perfect. I looked into the soul of that Prince and fell out of love. It was filled with scum and bags of shit. It filled me with villainy and I wanted to escape it. He left me alone and destitute and said climb out of this shit. The perfect woman does not exist the existence of such a woman is out of the question as in the nature of man. Kindness a person has to be kind to understand what is reality? Reality is kissing and misjudging and thinking one is wise. I started to speak to him to erase him as if he were a page in a book. No he wanted me he said he wanted my life so that he could undo the embarrassment of me. He could not undo the years but he tried. The longer I waited for him to come round to my way of thinking the longer he waited.

We each have opinions of what makes other person tick. We stared into the abyss the mind of each made up into dead lock I dreaded him yet could not see a way out. We seemed trapped in an endless disagreement. There was no third party to ease the situation as we battled it out for a long time as if the others opinion was something we read about distantly. We couldn’t hear although we heard we could not understand what the other was trying to say.

“I am the villain of this piece?”

“You haven’t given me what I want and now you must suffer the sins of mine are unwashed because of you.” He said.

“Is this how I get rewarded by blows?”

“You should’ve come to me then you are a pervert you whore.”

“I’m I justified in condemning myself when you have condemned me? You don’t understand me. Why should I give to a man whose understanding is so misjudged?”

“You shouldn’t say things like that. I might cut off your tongue.”

“I shall say everything that I think. Thinking is action and action is thought and that is how life is and that is how I am.”

“You are a dishwasher is that a job? I do that sort of thing because of the story I refused to tell. My secrets I thought would I take to my grave. A dishwasher that is what you are without the will to change into something better.”

“What is better? Is sitting at your table without to do better?”

“Ah that is even less. I admit to sit and eat with me is nothing compared to the dishes you can wash and the men you talk too. The women you compare the prices of meat with without your eyes going blind.”

“There is always meat isn’t there?”

“Look doesn’t change me and don’t make me angry.”

“Your mum was a snob.”

“What is wrong with that? The world is filled with snobs it is the way of it all it is how society functions.”

“But I am not a snob.”

“You are an intelligent snob.”

“Look I to be in the wrong about anything but I don’t think we suit.”

“Who is asking you?”

“Well I thought you were?”

“No I am telling you.”

“I don’t like to be told off.”

“I will not be said no to.”

“But is it the future that I see? There is nothing for me with you. I see not myself beside you but some evil creature without morals.”

“I will teach you how to behave and you won’t want for nothing. I will worship you with all my being and have you and love you and be myself with you.”

“You won’t know what to do with me!”

“But I have a fair idea.”

“That is not love a love should be more than a fair idea that person must be paramount must be everything be the life of that person without him he should expire into oblivion with him to be everything.”

“I feel that.”

“Do you?”

“Yes it is so with me.”

“It isn’t with me.”

“What changed your mind?”

“This is our inability to understand what the other is talking about.”

“But there is no need to talk is there? Our bodies shall do all that and more if only you will let it.”

“I can’t.”

“I’ll drive you mad.”

“I don’t understand madness it must be funny to be mad.”

“You are driving me mad. Come let us do something like everyone else do something with me. Why can’t you do it with me?”

“I will not do it without marriage and feeling. I shan’t pretend.”

“Death to you what a whore you are pretending to be different when all you want is to better yourself. Over my dead body will you better yourself then die a dishwasher die unwanted in a bed without love it is....”

“Yes it is?”

“But why is it not me?”

“It is the reason. I can’t feel anymore I can’t feel anymore it is as if after all that I am dead. That I’ve died and left this little body gone some place out of existence I haven’t mislaid me it is just that my soul has gone a walkabout.”

“Then I’ll see that when your body and soul meet that you are dead for sure. Do as I say!”

“No some people are not for sale.”

“Your sale by date is nearly over and you are acting as if that between your thighs is gold. I’ve had better shags than you even your arms pretending to hold me is shagging but you reject me as if thighs and arms and legs and teeth mean nothing to you. What am I to you? Nothing to do with me you can die in bed with me or you can die in the streets? Which is it to be?”

“I have faith in the law.”

“You will be homeless again.”

“So be it.”

“One look to another man one deed such as kissing or even mating and I will see to it that you are off in the streets without pants.”

“I stand by what I believe in.”

“And what is it you believe in?”

“I believe in the powers that are good I believe that one day your masks will be off one day I will unmask you.”

“Get lost. No one says that to me you know. Shall I die for you? Is that what you want but I am an important man. I have prestige position and power yet now stand powerless as if a child. What is happening? Are you drunk with happiness over what you have done me?”

“I shouldn’t show yourself so beastly if I were you?”

“You whore?”

“Positively a whore I go out with the bushes and the birds and the bees. Do you want some of what I have?”

“Yes please. I am a better poet than you. I will get everything that you have built. I am going to have a life and more life with you cowed and dead.”

“Try to eat me?”

“Entirely at your command”

“So, it is war than?”

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