In the dark ages, in history there were wordsmiths who wore a band round their heads to avert evil spirits. What were these evil demons that they lived in the head? That because of telepathy being everywhere women and girl wore head shields on their heads to warn others that she had the magical gift to ward off the devil and the demons. Why is there no longer telepathy or what they call sensory perception? Because of unnatural demons everywhere looking to settle into women who were wives and girls of men the omens called out and they placed a ring round the head in order that they did not go through the head into the women or the maid. Mankind had lost its way and manners with it without religion and keeping the women in subservient role. She is no longer rampant sexuality so she got to be prim and oppressed no energy to wear corsets or eat nourishing food. So we are not into these unnatural practises of telepathy, not enough strength for that.
Women did no longer enjoy sex only mistresses enjoy sex and they are discarded the moment they give in. Or they are given the bastard to look out for and they content with what is given no one wants to be the ugly creature the wife without any function but to give an heir. Telepathy between the sexes why sexes? Because it is the sexes that have sex or homosexuals between themselves but telepathy well it is about strong feelings about the sensory felt life the very centre of our spiritual development as humans. What is telepathy? A communication between her mind and his and demons devils angles that have fled there are demons and devils exorcise me from myself. But this is serious can the devil be the evil person who wants something for nothing?
Who made the Virgin pregnant? Not the arch angel Gabriel but the God so how did the arch angel carry the seed if he had no what’s it? I AM no longer able to contain myself this is a good question if nothing more. It is the best question I ever posed then the Virgin Mary was in communion with God but if you don’t believe in God who was she in communion with?
And in Mythology there is always God’s who rape and change shape. There must be some facts in mythology? I mean Fairytales all contain a seed of facts? So who made the Virgin pregnant? Why did Joseph not resent her because it must have been someone high up not low down? If you behave in that trashy manner where did you learn to seek the truth about behaviours between young and adults? I do. One can’t fool masses even for a year let alone for 2000 years. So fact the Virgin was a Virgin fact two how did she become pregnant if the angels don’t have the seed? Telepathy won’t work there couldn’t have been a test tube could there? Not at that moment not at that time.
Why is it that there are no answers?
The medieval were what? They wore bands to protect them from telepathy naming a names’ was so sacred thing not to be that it was as if the past came and you were in that person’s power. So the power game was stopped between the poor and the rich no more communication because the superior rich married women were corseted and given over to producing heirs in that mean manner. It made them into simpletons of swooning and relaxing on the sofa? Why not encourage the husband to wear a band round his head? He is wearing it on his hand? A band and a keepsake a cheap little novelist I am. No it is a good question what happens in history reflects today.
“No reflection on society but I have other questions which I would dearly like answers too.”
“Why waste my time you idiot?”
“I have nowhere to go and I don’t know whether I am coming or going!”
“The man in my head wants to have me and I don’t have the energy to do the honours for I have been at it all night.”
“It is suppositions you are supposing the virgin was not a virgin so what?”
“But that is crucial to history don’t you see?”
“What is crucial if the Virgin was the ultimate telepathic? That she had the powers that no woman had before.”
“You’ve been had.”
“I am not obvious and I am not ovulating I have the menopause badly what I eat in the night is obvious during the day.”
“You are not becoming an imbecile?”
“I hope not.”
“It is a shame you are not.”
“Have some coffee.”
“I’ve gone off the stuff.”
“But that would make perfect sense historically but religiously it would mean rewriting everything.”
“That is a chore.”
“It is indeed if the Bible had to be written again there would be new something’s which is not on.”
“The clergy wouldn’t like it?”
“No it is worse than women becoming priests?”
“I imagine so! Much worse I mean I must have blasphemed without realising it?”
“You’ll be turned to stone now go and take your medication and fall into a deep sleep.”
“But I am perfectly sensible and I am making sense.”
“No you aren’t you are a mad bad creature dangerously stirring up trouble for the entire world.”
“Who said so?”
“Everyone that knows you won’t be sending you a Christmas card.”
“But there is no one who sends me neither valentines’ card nor a Christmas card. I have no one but the destitute of reason Tom and he is so into being with me that he forgot to brush his hair.”
“You mean teeth?”
“I don’t know I haven’t seen him today he has gone off the idea of a whirlwind romance and wants a long engagement.”
“Seems to be dilly dallying.”
“I have the cure for that he won’t be allowed to go out into the impetuous night and I have him all to myself and the fool will rue the day he has not married me.”
“Don’t cry. Women crying do get on my nerves.”
“Who are you?”
“I am the devil.”
“You must be the Prince then. I do like talking into nothingness it passes the time between being with Tom and having the gangs after me. It sort of makes it symmetrical and I have no honour left you see.”
“Then go into the little shop with your bag so that the entire kingdom can fuck you.”
“I will not I have my decency besides why should all the kings men fuck me?”
“You haven’t lain with the king. It is obviously important that you be fucked.”
“I don’t reason like that.”
“The king doesn’t want you to shag anymore or he’ll put you into the shop and you’ll be fucked forever by different man every night.”
“Tom the cat won’t like that he would have something to say about that it is obvious that The Virgin Mary had something like this that I have with the king. It stands to reason.”
“There is no reason in society there is only positioning of the order of things and you are God damn impertinent to say that about the hierarchy.”
“But there is nothing in the way of my reasoning I have not taken my tablets so can reason and travel in my mind I can think.”
“You can’t do this to me not after I have sent you to the dogs and you come back reasoning and reasoning and belittling me.”
“Sorry but there is every reason to think well of myself I am happy with my situation.”
“I thought you wanted to get married?”
“It can wait I am having the time of my brains.”
“You don’t have any brains!”
“But I do you know that is the trouble with me I have too much creative brains.”
“Woman like you doesn’t have any honour or decency or brains I will prove it.”
“I know I know belong in the whore house with the call girls and I don’t work so that society is worse off. I like to reason without a sou.”
“You awful monster of depravity how can you destroy religion as well as my life?”
“I am posing questions I don’t destroy. I am just posing questions that are my function in life!”
There aren’t enough unanswered questions. Everyone thinks they have answered the universal questions when we are blinking as the world is dying and we still say that the rich are right to destroy our children and the poor to get fat on processed foods on coke and stuff that drives kids mad. We are sitting down and letting them whitewash us. Their deeds are to destroy but because it is money we have to stop and reflect that is money as important as life? Isn’t health just as important? Isn’t the future as important? Isn’t the past the teacher? Why can’t society have everything money and life? Why do we have to choose?
“But that is capitalism.” He says as he walks as a drug addict. His addiction to doing poseurs as drug addicts and alcoholics and pimps and thugs is driving me into the house without anything to show but cowardice. I want to go into my mother’s stony bosom and see as if she is waiting for me in her piny with her docile expression of love. That mirage is soon evaporated as another mattress is on the street with the white van. I pass it with the dog that is just as curious as I to see what it is. Just a mattress on the street gaping hole someone must have been randy. There seems to be too many mattresses on the streets lately. I wonder if there can be as many randy people as they pretend. There was a plasma TV set all brand new the wrapping was there and a woman walking with her tired shopping as she had worked that day. She was all there in the street with the two laughing workmen all out for the night as if the street could tell a story if it choose to. But I could not tell if these characters were real they weren’t from the neighbourhood they were some-place else as if from fairy tales of torture and mayhem. These characters were from tales from bygone and I could see the drug addict as a tale from the future or from the past he belonged nowhere just a skeleton in the figment of his ordeal. Why did the drug addict become a skeleton? I wondered as I walked into a bush a water lily had me in the grips of my hair. I felt like letting go of the dog in my rage at this lily which had me in the hair for a second or two. Ivy is growing everywhere and is taking hold of the out building and is making me lose the power of making the garden a place of enjoyment and relaxation which one has to do in order to make it neutral.
Therefore this mayhem this thing that sets me apart from all others what is it? Is it that there is unkindness in the world so bizarre that it sets all the demoniac forces at me? Is there right and wrong evil and goodness? Is there such a thing as good and bad? There must be I think as I walk the dog another character from fairy land comes at me and is searching his pockets to find something as I look into his face it is a normal black fat face without any compassion. I realise as he digs deeply into his pockets that he is pondering something very deep indeed. I wonder what he is up to every night he seems to be there with the walk so bizarre pondering something so deep as if he is contained in his world of crime and badness.
Are criminals’ bad people then? Are they so into crime that they lose their souls? Is it like capitalism? I mean as people lose their way into the criminal mind we don’t think of criminals as bad people we think of them as victims of circumstances and they too think of themselves in such a manner. They see themselves as victims as destitute as people whose lives went wonky through no fault of their own. But this is not true. We all make choices we all do. We have our lives and destinies and we make these choices all the time as if we are the barren creatures that set the night into the mattress that set the street into the blazing glory of what happens on those beds that had the mattress.
There is the black man in my thoughts so deeply into his walk as deep as any criminal who has been disturbed on Valentine’s night. He is walking as he figures out what he has made of his time away from the arse he has been touching. It is in his mind this deep thought as he tries to look uninterested into the blackness of night. He is interested in me no longer there is contempt in his stance but he has to do as the boss demands and he is thinking what can he do to outwit the boss? There are many ways to be a slave and many ways to set oneself into the prison of life. There are many things that people can’t understand or won’t who have turned their attention to crime. That crime in the end does not pay.
It has destroyed the reason of the prince I think as he wears the skeleton of his addiction as he too walks towards the depths of the Plasma TV there is nothing in his stance to say he is happy. No it is as if he is in hell. Does he eat something other than bile? He seems to be sick on this vomit which he has been vomiting constantly for years. He seems not to have noticed that time has passed that we are growing older and he seems to be none the wiser.
All these creatures from tales of fairyland there in the visions of my mind all mine to digest to see to put down into words just words that come to mind as my life is like a camera recording these strange creatures who want to be recorded into the book which is my book.
Janet phoned yesterday and she seems unhappy too. John Ratty has died she said and I wonder why she left it so long to tell me about this. Three years she said.
“Three years ago he died of a heart attack.”
“Oh!” I say and ask, “What happened to his Torino?”
“It is his wife who runs the show now and the boy that the grandson well he is grown into a teenager.”
“Well he would be.”
“Yes so it is life catches one in death.”
Janet had been following me all that time she was in the thrill of the chase and I think she is up to no good and so do not talk to her as much as she wants.
“I better am going then.” I say.
“We must meet up for tea.” She suggests.
“Yes we haven’t met for tea in years.”
“No Janet leaves restful dogs to rest.” I say to myself but she hears the finality in the words I have not spoken of. She is in such bliss of evil that she does not see the harm she does every time she sends me the Christmas cards and phones to tell me that life is passing that I have no one and that she will never leave the chase.
She is trouble and behind all these strange people with strange animosities and strangers pretending to be friends. She is fiendish in her delight to tell me something else.
“Have you written any poems lately?”
“Good on you always the one with the one liner, weren’t you?”
“I’m a clown I suggest in my way I am just a clown.”
“She has been running after the chaps.”
“Which is Emily?”
“That is the poet Emily.”
“I know that she has been after the thrill of the men for years she must have been to bed with all the chaps. That is how she expresses herself some people do that.”
“She has no income support.”
“Has her benefit been withdrawn?”
“Yeah so all the more for the chaps she has to you known screw in order to pay for the council flat she has.”
“Who would want to live like that?”
“I would rather not live than live like that.”
“I am not going to harm anyone.”
“But you have.”
“Why is it I am the one who has to go through hell when people are in trouble?”
“Your family do not need you anymore.”
“Has mum grown back her leg has dad become sane?”
“Have the sisters child grown up?”
What is this adult auditing woman talking about when she speaks about me having the benefit and not doing anything at all? How odd it appals me. It made me think that the world was mad and not I.
Sometimes someone has to stay at home and do the little jobs which children and family come home for home cooking. Making certain the frail are well and all that what else can I do because there is nothing else to be done for certain.
But you left them now?
They are now grown up able to do their own cooking.