One Green Bottle

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Chapter 8

I wish to go to, but I am as if in hell. The dancing begins the money on wedding dress as the poor bride and groom stand to attention getting the £50’s and £20 notes.

“No wonder they are always marrying there is money to be made in this!”

“It is our customary thing it has always been done to help the poor newlyweds.”

“You go and put the money we have and let us get out of here.”

“Dad what are you doing?”


“You’re driving.”

“Okay not even a drop?”


“He is a great man.”

“Who is the great man?”

“Our dearest cousin who swindled us”

“There are plenty of great men it is truth that always speaks in the end. All the great men end up telling lies.”

“Emine, Emine you poor whore haven’t seen you in ages.”

“I’ve seen you my dear.”

“Sister still married?”

“Yes thanks.”

“How pleased you are to see them so.”

“Delirious I’m sure.”

“What an education you are to all of us.”

“True it is so true that one is always an education to the public.”

“What does that mean?”

“This is nothing at all, but a hate crime. I am just admiring the view.”

“Yes we are all pretty aren’t we?”

“Yes my dears so you are you because you married me for my money and now can count on me forever to clean up this mess? Can’t expect brains to exist as well”

The wife is startled by that remarkable observation that she a lesbian had married a sex addict and felt violated by him and said so many times that she went mad.

She married him for his money.

Charming? Of course they did the work and it made them magical to be in.

She is resenting me because of it all. Exchange places with me she said to me exchange places and you will see how many times we at it.

“We are all with qualifications you know.”

“How true my love.”

“It is impossible to talk to a simpleton like you.”

“Then I wouldn’t.”

“You don’t know what you have rejected.”

“A life time of regrets maybe?”

“Look we are only thinking about the family’s honour and what others might say.”

“That keeps me awake all night to see what others are saying behind my back. It is my backside talking mostly that I object to.”

“I don’t understand are you talking nonsense or about farting?”

“Work it out.”

“I always work out in the gym and cousin pays for it. If only you would do as you are told.”

“I never make other peoples mistakes.”

“But you will love the life we lead.”

“Probably will. Or won’t it might be so but what if I don’t will you come to my rescue then?”

“No because that is your decision.”

“That is my point if I make someone else unhappy too I would never forgive me or this pointless charade.”

“Look how they smooch looks how happy everyone is with their true partners.”

“I dancing mum says I can’t dance.”

“Then don’t come to weddings because you are common and vulgar.”

“Never call me vulgar.”

“That is what everyone says you are.”

“Hello you things glad to see everyone happy?”

“Has my brain just died or is it everyone else who is talking like a 1984 novel?”

“Oh auntie she is awful. Where’s mummy?”

“Probably in hell with all the demons”

“My mum is going to heaven. She is the most charitable woman there is you can’t say she is going to hell.”

“You’ll probably join her.”


“We meet there sometime with a different gown every minute.”

“You are impossible.”

“Now what did I do or say?”

“You’ve ruined our enjoyment.”

“Because you ruined mine I thought I was in the midst of family and you all turned out to be fashion editors.”

“Oh bah go away.”

“Drop dead gorgeous,” Blows her a kiss.

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