Chapter 5 | To Confide
“Babe, I really can’t tell you.” I said, reaching out and grabbing Connor’s hand.
He instantly pulled his hand away and looked at me in a way that he has never looked at me before... with pure distrust.
“Fucking spit it out Naveah. Just tell me. I can handle it.” He sounded so desperate to hear the truth.
You honestly couldn’t handle it Connor. Ever.
“Fine, but if you tell Mark that I told you... he will never forgive me.” I lied.
Mark wouldn’t care if I told the entire world that we were sleeping together. In fact, he has made it clear numerous times that he wants me to tell everyone, though I will never know why.
“We are...” I looked at Connor expecting him to be seething with rage, but all I see is a look of hope. Hope that I am not about to tell him that Mark and I are an item behind his back.
“Planning a party.” The idea just instantly popped into my head and it exploded from my mouth before I had time to analyze it.
“A party?” He asked, not fully believing what I just said.
“Yeah!” All of a sudden, it was as if a wave of more thoughts came to my mind in an instant, helping me keep this lie going. Connor’s birthday was literally next Friday. This was terrifyingly perfect.
“Your birthday is next Friday... so we were coming up with a surprise party for you and all of our friends. Great, now you have ruined the surprise! I am so sorry babe. I’m a terrible liar!”
Ha, you are many things Naveah, but a terrible liar is not one of them... unfortunately.
Connor registered my words and it was as if the pieces to his puzzle were finally put together.
“Oh my god! Dammit... I’m sorry Naveah. My jealousy got the better of me I guess. I just thought there was something else going on. Don’t worry! When the time comes I will act totally surprised! No one will ever know that I knew ahead of time.” He quickly reassured me while pulling me in for a hug.
I clung to him and internally wiped the imaginary sweat from my forehead.
“It’s okay babe. You couldn’t have known. It was natural to freak out a little.” I inwardly sighed.
I am the hugest piece of crap on this planet.
After a few moments of silence, realization finally dawned on me. Mark.
“Crap! We need to call Mark’s mom and get to the hospital, Connor!” I yelled while jumping up and heading towards the kitchen counter to grab my purse and car keys.
“Shit.” Connor cursed while turning off the movie we had playing and following me out of the door.
It took us around fifteen minutes to get to the hospital. The entire way there I was just praying that Mark isn’t seriously hurt. I have no idea why, but my heart hurt a little when the thought entered my brain that he could be badly hurt.
We entered the emergency room entrance to Memorial hospital and I told the nurse at the desk who we were here for. She told us that since we are not immediate family, we had to wait in the waiting area for Mark’s mom to arrive.
We sighed, but followed the nurse’s orders.
Around ten minutes later, Mark’s mom came bursting through the doors. I almost forgot that Mark’s dad wasn’t in the picture and it was just his mom and himself at home. Mark was an only child just like me.
“Where is Mark Chase?” She all but yelled at the poor nurse sitting at the desk.
The blonde-haired nurse frantically started typing at her computer and told Mark’s mom she would have his location in a couple minutes and for her to wait in the waiting area.
“Fuck that! That is my son in there! Take me to him now!” She cursed the poor woman.
The nurse’s eyes widened in fear of Mark’s mother and quickly called for assistance. A taller, dark haired nurse came running to the waiting area and took her hand in an instant, walking her back towards the evaluation rooms.
Man, we should have cursed at the nurse... maybe we could have been brought back to see Mark.
I heard Connor laugh beside me. “Damn, Mark’s mom is a savage.”
I rolled my eyes at his choice of words. “Really babe. Savage?”
“Duh, did you see that?” He smirked.
I playfully nudged his arm with mine and let him place his arm around me pulling me into his side. He left a tender kiss on the top of my head and I heard him sigh.
“What?” I asked, looking up at him.
“I’m sorry about earlier...” He said looking deep into my eyes. “I shouldn’t have assumed the worst.”
I wanted to blurt out everything right there. All of my lies, everything. I wanted to say you are not wrong for assuming the worst, because the worst is actually happening right underneath your cute little nose.
The words, “Its fine.” was all I could cowardly muster.
This guilt was starting to eat me alive, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to tell someone. Anyone.
I decided right there in that emergency room waiting area, that I was going to finally confide in someone. That someone, being Callie.
She was the only logical one that I could even remotely consider confiding in. I definitely couldn’t confide in Lucy. Yes, I’ve known her longer than Callie... but she has this serious infatuation with Mark. The moment I even uttered anything about us being together, she would have my head.
Mark wasn’t a good choice to confide in either since he already knows, obviously, and he’s told me numerous times that we need to just come clean to everyone... which isn’t exactly my favorite option.
Callie was the only one who I could confide in that wouldn’t totally ruin my life... hopefully.
All I can do is pray that she see’s it from my point of view, and doesn’t tell Lucy or Connor immediately after hearing it from my own mouth.
Pulling me from my circling thoughts, Connor softly nudged my side.
“Hey, you alright?” He asked full of concern.
“Yeah... I just hope Mark is okay.” I confessed which was another thing making me feel queasy.
Why am I caring so much if Mark is okay or not? I mean yeah, he’s sort of my friend but he’s also my male mistress. Nevertheless, I can’t stop this feeling in the deep pit of my stomach that’s secretly praying for Mark to be okay.
Connor looks at me confused for a second, and then gives a supporting smile.
“I’m sure he’s fine. He’s Mark.”
“Yeah, you’re right. That boy fell from a two-story building and only broke an ankle.” I chuckled at the memory of only two years ago when Mark was dared to jump from his roof into his pool, but terribly missed causing him to land directly into the ground. Of course, he was incredibly drunk; otherwise, I’m sure it would’ve hurt him a great deal more than he led on at the time of the incident.
Connor laughed at the thought as well and then we noticed his mother storm out of the back where the evaluation rooms are held.
“Mrs. Chase! Over here!” Connor yelled to grab her attention. I have only spoken with Mark’s mother a few times whenever the group of us were over at their house, but we aren’t exactly close enough for me to yell at her from across the room. She was usually nice when we would chat, but you could always smell the putrid fragrance of booze coming from her mouth, no matter what time of day it was.
Mark’s mother saw Connor and immediately smiled, rushing over to greet us.
“Hey kids. What’s up? Leave it to Mark to hurt himself walking home.” She stated with a yawn, clearly showing us how tired she was as well. She was probably woken up from being previously passed out. I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t have a horrible hangover right now.
“We’re fine, Mrs. Chase. How is Mark?” I asked, almost too eager for an answer.
“He’s fine, just some minor cuts and bruises. I told that boy numerous times to pay attention when he’s walking these streets at night, but of course he never listens to a word I say.” She sighed rolling her eyes in the process.
Connor chuckled from beside me and I gave her an apologetic smile.
“Naveah, Mark did ask for you though. He said he overheard a nurse calling you or something like that, so he assumed you’d be here. Want me to take you back to see him?” Mark’s mother asked with a slight smile.
I instantly froze and Connor looked at me with his questioning blue eyes.
“Sure, Connor and I would love to see him.” I grabbed Connor’s hand in mine and looked at her for confirmation.
“Oh, okay... well let’s go then! Maybe I can leave you two to stay with him so I can get back home. I think I left the front door unlocked...” She muttered to herself as she turned away and started walking towards the evaluation rooms in the back.
“Why would Mark only ask for you?” Connor questioned as we walked behind Mrs. Chase.
“I don’t know. Maybe he meant both of us and only said my name. He’s probably doped up on pain killers” I hoped.
“Probably.” Connor laughed.
Great, another bullet dogged.
We arrived at Mark’s room and I walked in first, to which Mark smiled, but as soon as Connor walked in his smiled faded. Mark’s mom walked in after us and sat up on the top of the counter in the corner of the room.
“Oh, hey. You both came. Thank you.” He stated dryly. “Mom, you can go if you want.”
“Thank God! See ya. Next time, watch where you’re walking kid.” She warned as she picked up her purse and left the room.
After a few moments, I spoke up. “Of course we did. How you feeling?” I asked, trying to take out the awkwardness that was infecting the air around us.
“Eh, I’m alright.” He muttered while slowly sitting up in bed. I noticed him wince and I frowned watching him.
“Why the heck were you out walking the streets at night anyways?” Connor asked, genuinely concerned for his friend.
“Well, I didn’t know that I was going to be out walking the streets actually... It just sort of happened.” Mark casted me a quick glance and I knew what he was referring to almost instantly.
I hope he didn’t blame me for all of this happening to him. He couldn’t though, it’s not like I knew he was going to sneak over to my house without even mentioning it to me first.
“Well next time be careful, you idiot.” Connor chuckled while sitting in the chair beside Mark’s bed.
There wasn’t a second chair so I just stood there next to Mark’s bed, slowly swaying from one foot to the other while Mark and Connor chatted.
“Here, babe... sit down.” Connor grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me towards him, making me plop down onto his lap. He then instinctively wrapped his arms around my waist and peered around me to continue talking with Mark who was giving me a pointed look at my new seating arrangement.
Oh how I wish we were anywhere but here right now...
They both continued to talk while Mark kept sending me discreet looks. Having had enough with the awkwardness of the entire situation, I suddenly jumped up out of Connor’s lap and grabbed my purse that rested on the counter.
“Ready to go Connor? I’m really tired.” I lied. I just couldn’t take this feeling of wanting to crawl out of my own skin any longer.
“Oh, um sure thing. We will see you later alright buddy. Get some rest.” Connor leaned in and bro-hugged Mark before grabbing me by the hand and walking me out of the room. Before we left, I looked back and gave Mark an “I’m sorry I almost got you killed.” Look and then continued walking with Connor.
Once we got home, I went upstairs with Connor and we went to bed. Connor did try to have a little make out session before, but I stopped him and told him I was sorry but that I was just really tired.
Truth is, I wasn’t tired at all. I laid in the dark starring up at the ceiling while Connor slept soundly next to me with his arm over my waist.
I couldn’t stop thinking about Mark and wondering what would’ve happened had he actually been really badly hurt. Would he blame me? Would I eventually feel so bad with guilt that I told Connor and everyone else the real reason why Mark was out walking the streets alone at night?
The thoughts circling my head like a tornado kept me from sleeping almost all night. It was probably around four in the morning before I finally dozed off, though I was too lazy to check my phone to be sure.
A few hours later, though it felt like minutes, Connor woke me up early so that he could sneak out before my mom wakes up and finds him here. She knows that he sometimes stays late whenever we have movie dates, but she strictly told me that he is to never spend an entire night here with me, though he does on occasion anyways.
The last thing I need is to have my father find Connor here in the morning.
I guess my lying goes deeper than I thought.
I gave him a quick kiss and closed my front door behind him.
As I turned around, I saw a very angry figure glaring at me from the end of the staircase.
“Oh, um... good morning lovely mother of mine!” I chirped sending her an “I know you caught me, but I can explain” smile.
“Naveah...” My mom scolded. “What are the rules in this house?”
I took a deep breath, ready to recite the rules that have been permanently engraved into my brain since I was old enough to understand them.
“No parties, no messing up the house, no boyfriends spending the night, no loud music, no lying, no back talking... and again, no boys sleeping over.” I said in a monotone voice.
“Correct, and what rule did I just witness you breaking?” My mom asked again, clearly amused at my annoyance.
“Technically Connor slept on the floor of my bedroom, so he wasn’t even sleeping with me in my bed.” I tried to reason. “Mark got into an accident last night and Connor and I stayed with him pretty late so when we got back here he just crashed instead of walking back to his house.”
Please work, please work, please work.
“Naveah, dear, if that was the case you should’ve woken me up to confirm if he was allowed to stay over. Under those circumstances I would have agreed, and he would have been sleeping here on the couch instead of up in your room.” My mom said in the same authoritative tone that my dad uses.
“I know and I’m sorry. It was really late and I didn’t want to wake you up and risk you getting mad, so I just told him he could sleep over. I didn’t even think about having him sleep on the couch, honestly.” I pleaded for a little understanding.
“I do not care what time of the night it is. You were still trying to lie and hide your tracks by trying to make him leave before I woke up. If you thought it was harmless, you would’ve let him stay and explained this story to me together.” My mom returned fired.
There was absolutely no way I was winning this one.
“Alright, what’s my punishment?” I sighed while crossing my arms over my chest.
“Wow, not even an apology.” My mom teased while walking towards the kitchen.
I smirked at her annoying way of trying to be funny and followed her.
“Oh come on. Just get my punishment over with.” I sat at the bar stool leaning my head against my hands that rested on the island and waited for my mom to start making us her famous Sunday morning breakfast.
“I can’t believe it. You are asking me for a punishment! I’ve seen it all now.” My mom continued to tease.
I let another sigh escape my lips.
“You are so not funny.” I deadpanned.
“Now she insults me. Man, you are one feisty girl this morning!” My mom dramatically stated while holding her hand over her chest.
“Alright, enough games. You get laundry duty for two weeks.” My mom laughed.
Was that it?
“Deal!” I said almost too excitedly.
“Plus...” She started.
Crap, spoke too soon.
“Connor isn’t allowed over for a whole week.”
“What! That’s so unfair!” I scolded.
“Maybe next time you will think twice before breaking the rules, Naveah.” My mom pointed with her finger.
“Now, help me prepare the waffles!” She smiled widely.
I huffed and angrily stomped over to her and started stirring the batter.
“I may eat and enjoy this breakfast, but I’m still mad.” I mumbled which caused my mom to laugh.
I’m glad she’s so happy at my misfortune.
“Whatever you say dear. Your father is at work, so no need to make a lot.” She sighed while looking down.
After breakfast, I decided to call Callie and ask her to come over. I needed to tell her the truth and I needed to tell her now before I accidently slip up and tell someone who does not need to know, that being Connor or Lucy.
Callie agreed and said she would be over in thirty minutes, which gives me thirty minutes to come up with how I’m going to word this and what all I’m going to say if she starts getting mad and decides to out my secret to the whole world.
It was probably the fastest thirty minutes ever because before I knew it, there was a knock at the front door.
I slowly got up from the couch and could literally feel the mixed emotions oozing from my body.
I was about to tell Callie of my secret relations with Mark, her other best friend Lucy’s current crush.
Was I dumb for doing this? Maybe I should just pretend I called her over to casually hangout, not to cause my death sentence to happen much earlier than expected.
It was too late though, because I opened the front door and it was almost as if Callie knew exactly why I called her over.
“Ready to air out your dirty laundry?” She asked with a mischievous smirk.
Huh, how did she know that I just acquired laundry duty for the next couple of weeks... focus Naveah, focus.
“I, um... let’s go to my room.” I urged, pulling her inside by her wrist and yanking her up the stairs with me.
“Naveah, that better not be Connor again!” My mom hollered from the kitchen.
“It’s just Callie mom, chill.” I yelled back as we got to the top of the stairs.
I heard my mom gasp and then say, “I invented chill!“, using the same voice as the character from the Santa Clause three.
I rolled my eyes as Callie and I walked up the stairs. I slammed my bedroom door shut after Callie and I walked in.
“What was that all abo-” I cut Callie off, “you don’t want to know.”
“So, what’s up?” She asked with a glint of happiness, seemingly already knowing that what I’m about to confess to her is something big.
“I uh, just wanted to hangout?” I tried to lie, instantly regretting my decision to call her over.
“You’re such a liar, Naveah. Fucking spill it already!” She rolled her eyes and scolded.
“Fine... but you have to promise me something, and you can’t just say you promise so you can hear what I have to say, only to do the exact opposite of what you promised me.” I warned.
“Alright, alright. Whatever it is, I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.” She urged, causing me to have a minor panic attack for what I am about to reveal.
“You have to promise that once you hear what I am about to tell you... you won’t hate me.” I looked at her with hopeful eyes.
“Naveah, you’re my best friend. You could murder someone, and I wouldn’t hate you.” She reassured, causing me to wish that I had instead murdered someone and not have been sneaking around with Mark.
“Callie, I...” I started.
“Yes...” She clearly couldn’t hide her anxiousness at my big reveal.
“I did something bad... with someone.” I admitted shyly.
“With who?” She asked, genuinely concerned for me.
Wait until you find out Callie, you will hate me for sure despite your promise.
“I did something bad... with... Mark." My entire body tensed as I waited for the wrath that was going to be Callie once realization set into her brain.
Several agonizing moments went by before she said something that almost made me drop dead right there in my very own bedroom.