I didn't know what I expected on Monday morning. Maybe I should have made a game plan for this seeing as I made out with my best friend, admitted my feelings for the girl of my dreams, and then dropped my booty call all within the same week.
Wait; maybe I shouldn't call Victoria a booty call. A friend with benefits maybe but not a booty call.
I stopped midstep and sure enough, Jeremy was on his way towards me. "I bet you think you're real smart, don't you Tori? First you bust your hand up so that you don't have to come out and then you get Jocelyn to think she likes you. Good plan. I actually wish I thought of it but let's get one thing straight. Jocelyn does not like you" he growled.
"How do you know?" I shot back, staring at him. "Because she's with me and why would she want to trade up?" he replied, like it made perfect sense.
I arched my eyebrows at him and shook my head. "I didn't do anything, Jeremy. I didn't have a plan. I still don't have a plan and I can assure you, Jocelyn likes me" I said, walking ahead of him.
"You're doing this out of spite!"
"You're pissed cause I got Victoria pregnant, aren't you?"
"This has nothing to do with Victoria"
"Of course it doesn't. Why else would you pull this stunt now?"
"It's not a damn stunt. Jocelyn found out how I felt and she realized she felt the same"
"Well then let's see how much Jocelyn "likes you back". I can guarantee that she will not tell anyone that you two are together. Not a single soul"
"It's not a official yet"
"And it never will be. Even when Jocelyn and I were together, she never denied being with me…but can you say the same?"
I knew Jeremy was just messing with my brain but he still made me stop and think. Would Jocelyn actually tell me that we were together if we ever got together?
Jeremy walked by me in a fit of anger and I leaned against the wall, sighing. "Good morning, Tori" Gabrielle said with Marcus right beside her.
"Hey, Gaby. Morning" I said bluntly. "What's got you so down? I saw you talking to Jeremy and don't let him bother you. He's just mad because Jocelyn doesn't want him anymore. He should have known better after getting Victoria pregnant. Wait. Aren't you and Victoria friends?" she asked.
"Yeah. Yeah, kind of. Is there practice today?" I asked her. "Yeah, Jocelyn called for it earlier this morning. Why?"
Gabrielle glanced between Marcus and I as we mad eye contact. "Is there something I don't know?" she asked with a hand on her hip. "No. I'm just wondering the same thing you are, babe" he replied. I shot Marcus another, "don't tell her" look and he just nodded.
"Candace will probably need me to pick…her…wow". I stopped speaking all together and lost my train of thought as I saw Izzy, Adam, and Maxie walking down the hall together.
Izzy was no longer wearing her usual sweater but was instead dressed in clothing that even had Marcus looking twice. Don't get me wrong, I think Izzy is beautiful but today she just looked…looked….
"Damn Izzy! You look so sexy today!"
I laughed when I heard Carly and so did Marcus and Gabrielle. Izzy blushed and gently pushed her. "No really Izzy. You look good. What brought on the sudden change?" Carly asked.
Izzy just shrugged and Adam laughed. "I don't know. You look like you're trying to impress somebody," he said slyly. Izzy and I both glared at him and Maxie smiled.
"I don't know, Adam. Whom would she be trying to impress?" she added. Izzy just rolled her eyes at them as Carly, Gabrielle, and Marcus looked at us in confusion.
"Hey baby". I groaned, slightly wondering why everybody seemed to sneak up on me today.
"Morning Vicki. How's your son?" I didn't mean to emphasize "your" until the words came out my mouth but Victoria hardly noticed. "He's fine. Although we did have a run-in with daddy today" she said frowning.
"Yeah, so did I" I mumbled. Izzy heard me and glanced at me from the corner of her eye. I suddenly noticed that she was wearing lip-gloss and I had this urge to figuring out what it taste like.
Everyone looked at me and I ran my hands through my hair. "Sorry. Sorry. I'm just going to go get a drink," I said, jogging to the water fountain. I couldn't think about Izzy that way! I had to completely forget that kiss and act like it meant nothing because it did, right?
I love Jocelyn…right?
Of course I love Jocelyn! Why the hell am I second-guessing myself? Why the hell did Carly make us play that game?
I finished getting my drink of water and heard Jocelyn's voice along with Jeremy's. This wasn't the first time I had over heard them talking but this time, Jeremy's voice seemed calmer. I moved towards the edge of the wall and leaned back to make it look like I was just resting there.
"If I could take it back, I would. Victoria means nothing to me"
"She's carrying your child"
"I know but Jocelyn you have to understand. I want to be with you and now I know that. There's no other girl that I want other than you and I know that you still have feelings for me".
I laughed to myself. Jocelyn is not going to fall for that crap! Jeremy has played her so maybe times she can write a book. He might as well give it up!
"Jeremy, I do but…I don't want to be hurt again!"
"I never meant to hurt you, Jocelyn. I love you and what I did with Victoria was an accident that I didn't want to happen and neither did she. If Victoria wants to have the baby, fine by me but I know what I want".
There was silence for a while and then I heard Jocelyn sniffling as she cried.
"I want you ok? I know I hurt you and I know you were just looking at Tori for comfort but you don't want her. You're not gay Jocelyn and you can't use Tori as a blanket for how you feel. I'm so sorry and it won't happen again. I mean I love you Jocelyn. I really do".
She's not going to fall for that! She's not using me! She would never do that! She's my friend and she's in love with me. She loves me just as much as I love her! She wouldn't do that!
I could feel my tears threatening to fall and I clenched my fists before leaning my head back against the wall. I could hear him kissing her and I could hear her moans as she let him.
I went to go around the corner but felt Maxie, Marcus, and Adam pulling me back. "Let her go, Tori. Just let her go" Maxie whispered in my ear. At first, I fought against them, trying to pull myself away from them and reach Jocelyn but I knew seeing them kiss would hurt me even more.
They lead me towards the stairwell and I heard them talking but I barely moved. I just kept replying that moment in my head over and over again. Jocelyn…doesn't feel the same?
Eventually, two arms wrapped around my neck and I didn't even have to turn around to know who it was. "It's ok. Let it out" Izzy whispered to me as she held me in her arms.
And I did.
Without any hesitation at all.
"It's alright. I've got you, Tori Bear," she said over and over to me. I was played. Jeremy had been right and I felt so stupid. I was about to ruin everything for her. I was about to come out to everyone for her.
"I'm so stupid, Izzy" I groaned, turning around and placing my head in her lap. "No, you're not. You just trusted someone who is," she said, cupping my face in her hands. I placed my head in the crook of her neck and put my hands on her hips.
"I love you, Izzy" I sighed, holding her closer to me. Izzy laughed and rubbed the back of my head. "I know you do, Tori Bear," she said. "No…I mean, never mind," I said.
Now wasn't the time to even start anything with anyone. First, I had to tell Jocelyn what she desperately needed to hear.