Sophomore Blues

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Almost Working

Not everything is peachy right now.

My grades are slipping, though thanks to this being high school I still have B's as my lowest grade. That is terrible for me.

I'm getting better, though.

I've started writing again, taking photos. I am trying to sing, though that is still hindered. I'm getting there.

My sleeping patterns are still growing, but I don't know how to fix that. Sometimes I go to bed at 8 at night and wake up at noon the next day. I know that it's bad, but I don't know how to stop. The hours keep getting longer.

I've forced myself to be involved with people. I am signed up for robotics and it is build season so pretty much everyday I spend about 3-9 hours with them. At the beginning of the year I was still upset with the death's of my precious persons, so I was overly sarcastic and dull.

Now I'm brighter as I start to push the past into the past. Now I talk with more people and share my thoughts more. My sister constantly chides me and gets aggravated with how negative my thoughts tend to be, but I'm proud that I at least have opinions.

It means I'm being my old self again.

I watched Watchmen again for about the 400th time. I can still quote it beginning to end. The story with this movie is that I used to watch it a couple of times everyday after school in 8th grade because I felt really close to the characters.

My uncle thought it was weird, because he was one of those sporty kids who had always been outside when he was my age and my grandpa didn't really care. The movie made me happy and made feelings inside of me flow better.

So I watched it again.

And it had me crying like a baby. I was quite fearful that I wouldn't be touched by it like I had been the 399 other times I'd watched it, but to my relief I had the same reaction and it made me happy.

Now I know that I'm making a good recovery. It hasn't been easy, like when I had to choose my classes for next year and it hit me hard when I realized that the people who knew most about how to maintain your home had died just a couple of months ago.

So I'm taking my home maintenance class. I wonder when I'll have more "Oh yeah, they're dead..." moments and I hope that they're few and far between from here on out.

This is for my grandpa who always had a quick fact about how to fix our house without spending massive amounts of money.

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