Chapter 10 | This is Bad
“Angie, none of these clothes fit me the right way.” I sigh, feeling completely fed up with trying on her clothes. “We are never going to be ready in time.”
“You’re so negative, Addie. Let’s just hurry up and go down to the store to pick something out.” She smiles, standing up and grabbing her wallet. “I’ll buy anything you want for you.”
“You don’t have to do that, Angie.” I weakly smile.
“Just come on!” She rolls her eyes playfully.
I follow her out the front door and we fast-walk to the store. We turn a twenty-minute walk, into a thirteen-minute walk. That is how determined we are.
“Alright ladies! My girl here needs a party outfit pronto!” Angie yells upon us entering the small store.
Two different employees rush over to help us.
“Hm, I think I have just the outfit.” One of the employee’s says, eyeing me up and down. I feel so small under her strong gaze. After reading her name tag, I find out her name is Brianna and she is absolutely gorgeous. She is super tall, with a little help from her high-heels, and probably a size two.
Her long, blonde and straightened hair, fell perfectly down her back. Her make-up looks as though a professional has done it.
“Here, go try this on.” Brianna hands me a pair of light blue skinny jeans, with a dark blue, V-neck blouse that has no sleeves and shows excessively too much cleavage.
I look at the outfit and curse silently, as I make way into the changing room.
I take off the sweatpants and T-shirt I am currently sporting, and put on the outfit Brianna gave me.
I have a hell of a time pulling the skinny jeans up over my thighs, and after minutes of struggling, I finally have them on and buttoned. They’re a little tight, leaving just the smallest muffin-top.
I then grab the blouse off of the hanger and put it on over my bra. I instantly want to barf.
The blouse isn’t very long, stopping just below the bulge of my stomach, and the sleeveless arms show way too much of my slight arm fat. The cleavage that does show is nice, but the entire outfit together looks horrible on me.
“Are you done yet?” Angie shouts from outside of the changing room.
“This is so not going to happen, Angie.” I sigh again.
“Come out here, let me see.” Angie urges.
“No way! I look horrible!”
“Come on, I’m your best friend, have been your whole life. There’s not much of you I haven’t seen.” She chuckles, not at all caring that I didn’t want anyone to see how I look in this ridiculous ensemble.
“Fine.” I huff, slowly opening the changing room door and stepping out into view.
“Like I said, not happening.” I say with a straight face.
“It’s not so bad.” Angie evaluates, trying her best to be encouraging.
Brianna and her assistant come over to assess my outfit, and immediately Brianna’s assistant gives me a harsh look.
“You definitely need something bigger.” She instructs, flinging her perfect, dark hair over her shoulder.
My heart sinks and my face turns an off shade of red. The overwhelming feeling of embarrassment takes over and I immediately go back into the changing room and slam the door shut.
I can’t get the clothes off of my body fast enough.
After changing back into my sweatpants and T-shirt, I try to compose myself before leaving the changing room.
After a few minutes of deep breathing, I grab the outfit and walk out into view again.
“Here, this time I’ll pick something out for myself.” I smile, trying to pretend as though Brianna’s assistant’s comment didn’t bother me.
“I’m so sorry about her, she’s new and still in training. Let me help you, please.” Brianna frowns, feeling horrible about how her assistant has treated me.
“Yeah, I’ll help too Addie.” Angie smiles, trying to cheer me up.
“Here! This is perfect!” Brianna picks up a short, beige lacy dress with a black blazer. She also grabs a pair of black stockings and tells me to wear my black doc martens with the outfit to pull it together. I suppose I can give it my own personal touch.
I instantly fall in love. She picks up the perfect size just for me, and hands me everything. I go back into the changing room and after putting the outfit on, I can’t believe how well it looks as opposed to the horrendous outfit I tried on before.
“Come on out girl!” Angie shouts.
“Coming!” I smile at myself in the mirror.
I walk out into view again and Angie’s eyes light up seeing me smiling. Brianna places a hand over her mouth in awe.
“Wow Addilyn, that’s beautiful!” Brianna gushes as she walks over to me and places a hand on my shoulder.
“She’s right girl. You are slaying that dress right now!” Angie smiles again, picking up her wallet and handing it towards Brianna.
“Nope, this outfit is on the house!” Brianna smiles wide.
“What? No, let us pay.” I beg. This must cost a decent chunk of change.
“Absolutely not. This is an apology for how my assistant treated you. I will be working extra hard to train her on her people skills. You go out and enjoy your party. You look amazing!” She smiles.
“Thanks Brianna!” I couldn’t help it, but I pull her in for a hug. Who would have thought a complete stranger to me, would cause me so much joy.
“Take care!” She shouts as Angie and I leave the store with our bags. I can’t wait to get home and change back into my new outfit.
After showering and changing into my dress, stockings and blazer, I blow-dry my hair so Angie can style it. I even let her put a little make-up on me.
After she is done, she begins working on her own hair and make-up. Angie decides to wear a simple, sleeveless red dress that hugs her small curves perfectly. She straightens her hair and does a smokey eye with bright red lipstick.
My hair is in loose curls and falls softly against my shoulders and down my back. Angie did the smokey eye on myself as well, but instead of red lipstick, she chose a nice nude color to match the dress.
I walk over to my closet and put on my black doc martens, followed by picking up my glasses and gently putting them on, not wanting to mess up my hair or make-up.
Angie’s wearing a pair of black bumps to go with her dress.
I look at myself in the mirror and freeze. I feel comfortable in the outfit I’m in, and I don’t feel like a whale. I actually see myself as beautiful right now, and the happiness that comes with that feeling is indescribable. I haven’t felt this good in a long time, and I almost forgot about the comments Brianna’s assistant made towards me earlier at the store.
I know that tonight I’m going to have fun and forget all of my worries.
I also know that tonight I’m going to try to mend fences with Shane, because he has honestly been on my mind all day long.
“You look beautiful Addie, Shane won’t know what to do with himself when he sees you. He will have to forgive you.” Angie smiles, standing beside me in front of the mirror.
“Thanks.” I smile back. “You look great too. I’m sure Jax will love it.” I smirk, causing Angie’s cheeks to turn red.
“Can I tell you something?” Angie looks down at her heels.
“I shouldn’t even have to answer that.” I deadpan.
“Jax and I kissed.” She blurts out, biting her lip nervously.
“What?” I act shocked, even though I saw the kiss happen in my living room, and Jax told me about it at the diner the other day.
“It was during movie night, you were upstairs and it was after Shane went up to check on you.” She sheepishly smiles.
“Do you like him? You know, like that?” I ask, hopeful of her to say yes.
“I don’t think so.” She sighs.
My heart sinks for Jax.
“Why not? He’s sweet and funny, and you both are already comfortable around each other. Well except for lately, I’ve noticed.” I shrug.
“I know! I mean I do have some feelings for him, but I don’t know... I can’t help but feel like it’d ruin our friendship if we tried dating and it didn’t work out the way we want it to.” She frowns. “I mean what if it’s horrible, and then what? We have to awkwardly deal with each other whenever we all hangout? Ugh this whole thing is so cliché!”
“Not necessarily. It’s okay to be nervous of it not working out and it ruining your friendship.” I smile reassuringly.
“I know Addie, but we’ve kissed and ever since that night, things haven’t really been the same. I just don’t want to lose him.” She sighs again.
“Angie, do you like him?”
“Did you get butterflies when he kissed you at movie night?”
“Only like a billion.” She smirks.
“Then I say go for it. You won’t really know until you try. I didn’t want to tell you this, but I talked to Jax at Fred’s yesterday, and he told me that he likes you.” I smirk.
“He did?” She asks, her eyes widening.
“Yes. He asked me to talk to you about him, that’s why I got mad when he wouldn’t get my chocolate milk today at lunch. I was going to talk to you about this then.” I reply, picking up a small black clutch that Angie gave me to go with my outfit so I could hold my phone and house key.
“Wow.” Is all she says.
“I say go for it. You don’t want to regret not doing it later in life. Who knows, he could be the one and you don’t even know it yet.” I tease, handing Angie her small black clutch that almost matches the one she gave me.
“I guess a lot is going to happen tonight.” She smiles, looping her arm with my own as we walk down the stairs and leave for the party.
My parents took Jacob out to chuck-e-cheese for dinner since I’m going out. They told me not to stay out too late, and to be home at a decent hour.
We’ll see how that plays out I suppose.
The smell of booze greeting my nostrils is immediate as Angie and I walk inside of the ginormous house. The owner and host of this party is a guy named Jared from the group of guys that Shane usually hangs with. Apparently, his parents are always out on important business trips, so he keeps the house full. He is an only child, so I assume nights get pretty lonely by himself.
“Did you want to drink tonight?” Angie asks. “The Uber that dropped us off will be taking us home later, so we can if you wanted to.”
“I don’t think so.” I shrug. I have only ever had some beer one night with Angie and Jaxon after we stole it out of Jaxons refrigerator while his parents were sleeping.
“I don’t know what’s been put in these drinks, and I don’t want to lose control of myself.”
“I may have one drink.” Angie smiles.
“Hey! You made it!” Jaxon cheers while approaching us.
“Wow, Angie...” Jaxon gives her a once over, staring intently at her body. “You look beautiful.” He smile.
Angie immediately blushes and bites her lip nervously. “Thank you. You look great too!” She smile back at him.
Jaxon has on dark-washed blue jeans with a black button-up shirt. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and he’s wearing a pair of black converse. His hair is styled the way it always is, and he has a touch of cologne on.
“Addilyn.” Jax mutters in a harsh tone.
“Don’t you do that to me.” I frown, stepping towards him.
Jax stands in front of me with a glare in his eyes for a good three seconds, before a huge grin takes over his face and he pulls me in for a tight hug.
I immediately respond with a goofy grin plastered on my face as well.
“I’m so sorry Jax. I was a jerk.” I say into his ear. The music is blasting through the entire house, so it’s a little hard to hear right now.
“It’s okay Addie. I know you women with your off days. I’ve been around a long time, and you aren’t going to get rid of me that easy! By the way, you look great!” He smiles, stepping back and standing between Angie and me. I smile up at him and thank him.
“Have you talked to Shane yet?” Jax asks me, yelling into my ear.
“No, I haven’t seen him since school.” I frown, yelling back into his ear.
“Well, let’s walk around and see if we can find him.” Jax smiles, putting one arm around my shoulders and one arm around Angie’s.
We walk around the entire house, saying our hello’s to a few people and listening to the blaring music. Still, we could not seem to find Shane anywhere.
What if he stayed home because I wasn’t going and we were fighting? I smile at the thought of him missing a party for me.
“Oh, I think I see him!” Angie yells over the music, pointing her finger across the living room and into the kitchen.
I see his backside and immediately know that it’s him. I smile wide and confidently leave Angie and Jax to walk over to Shane.
He looks as though he is pouring himself a drink.
As I enter the kitchen, Shane looks up right at me and freezes.
“Hey.” I yell over the music in his direction.
“Hey.” He yells back.
“Listen, I’m really so-“, cutting me off is a short, red-haired girl walking up to Shane and wrapping her arms around his waist from behind.
“Let’s go dance babe!” She yells over the music into his ear.
Shane looks at the girl, and then to me.
I want to rip her flaming, red hair off of her stupid little head.
Without saying a word, he grabs the red-haired girl by the wrist and walks right past me with her, pulling her to the dance floor.
I stand here in the kitchen alone, unable to mask my emotions. The tears that begin to seep through my eyes burn as I try to wipe them away without messing up my make-up. After making sure to wipe them away effectively, I adjust my glasses and all of my sadness turns to anger.
I walk straight up to the liquor bottle and pour a shot. Without thinking, I bring the shot glass to my lips and down the drink fast, slamming the shot glass down on the table as I almost choke on the burning sensation in my throat.
I quickly grab a water bottle from the cooler on the ground next to the counter, and take a few sips to take away the gross taste of Vodka.
I peer over my shoulder and lock eyes with Shane as he lets the red-haired girl dance against his front-side, grinding on him without a care in the world.
Another round of anger pulses through my veins as I grab the liquor bottle and take another shot, this time not going for a chaser.
After four shots and a full can of beer, I finally feel relaxed. That, or I am just drunk.
Most likely the latter.
She Is by the Fray begins blaring through the speakers and I smile at the DJ’s variety of music.
Couples begin jumping around to the song, holding each other and swaying to the beat of the music. Shane and his date, I assume, are still dancing together on the dance floor.
I can’t take it anymore, so I see a guy standing alone at the entrance of the kitchen, and I walk up to him.
“Hey, want to dance?” I ask too confidently.
“Sure.” He smirks down at me.
I grab his wrist and yank him to the dance floor, immediately beginning to dance against him.
“What’s your name?” I yell over the music.
“Jared.” He smiles, his hands gripping my waist. “Jared Winston.”
“Oh, the host! Cool.” I smile, slightly stumbling while trying to dance.
Jared is definitely cute, but not as good looking as Shane is. He has dirty blonde hair and light-grey eyes. His light blue-jean pants and white T-shirt match perfectly with his white Jordan sneakers. I also notice that he does have a very nice, pearly white smile and his hair is just long enough to fall over his eyes.
This Is What You Came For by Calvin Harris begins blaring through the house and I smile, loving this song.
As the beat gets faster, everyone starts dancing more and more wildly.
Soon, the entire house is jumping, and I look over at Angie and Jaxon who are dancing together, Jaxons arms tightly secured around Angie’s waist. I smile.
I turn my gaze towards Shane who is staring at me hard, a glare on his face while he stands still. His date is dancing circles around him, but he doesn’t seem to care. The only thing he seems at all interested in, is me.
It felt good inside, making him jealous. If that’s what this feeling is.
After a while, I start to feel light, the alcohol starting to kick in.
“Are you having fun? I’m having so much fun!” I yell in Jared’s face. He doesn’t respond, only keeps smirking at me. I feel a little uncomfortable by it, but I don’t act on it.
My sub-conscious is nonexistent due to the alcohol level rising within me, so I know I wasn’t in the right state of mind to make the right choices.
Warning signals are going off, but I can’t respond to them. All I can do is keep dancing around Jared, his hands discreetly exploring my body.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I hear from behind Jared.
Jared steps beside me, and we both look into the soul-killing eyes of Rebecca.
“Because it looks like you’re dancing with Jared.” She spits in my direction.
“Wow, nothing gets by you Rebecca. You should award your ophthalmologist for his amazing job with your perfect eye sight.” I laugh, not even caring about what I just said to the one person who could break me completely.
Rebecca’s eyebrows raise in amusement as she watches me. Jared places his arm over my shoulders and I smile.
“Jared, you invited me to this party. What are you doing with that?” Rebecca glares at me again.
“Nothing, she just started dancing with me.” He shrugs, not at all caring about anything.
“I don’t know who you think you are right now Addilyn, but let me remind you that you are nothing. That dress and make-up doesn’t hide those rolls and ugly face.” She smirks, stepping closer to me.
The alcohol isn’t enough to help me get out of this alive. I immediately frown and begin fidgeting with my fingers. Eyes are starting to turn in our direction, and I know people can hear what Rebecca is saying, since she made sure to yell as loud as she can.
“Why are you such a bully?” I yell back, trying my best to remain confident.
“Please, I’m not a bully. I’m a realist.” She flings her long, red hair over her shoulder and turns her nose up at me.
“It’s alright Jared, you can continue to dance with that. Luke asked me to dance anyway, so I’ll be over there.” She looks to the opposite side of the living room and laughs before walking away with her two minions following behind her. “Enjoy the party.” She spits against my ear as she walks by.
Jared shrugs as if the entire encounter that just took place didn’t even happen. I feel like crying so I immediately run up the stairs of the big house and find an empty bedroom to sit in.
As soon as I shut the bedroom door, I walk over to the small bed in the corner of the room and sit down. I begin breathing deeply to try to calm my nerves, but I can’t help but wince at the thought of everyone hearing what Rebecca said about me. I will be the talk of the school tomorrow and for the rest of the week probably. Everyone is going to laugh at me behind my back, and to my face.
I am nothing but a big, fat, stupid joke.
In between sobs, I didn’t even notice the bedroom door opening.
When the door shuts, a little loudly, I look up while wiping my eyes with my fingers.
“Shane?” I absentmindedly ask to whoever it is that entered the bedroom.
“No princess, not Shane.” The husky voice sternly spoke, and I feel my heart sink as he reaches over and locks the bedroom door.
I can’t make out his face in the darkness, the lights never being turned on, but I can honestly say I am afraid for my life right now.
I scoot back onto the bed until my back hits the wall and I pull my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms tightly around my knees.
The guy walks over to the bed and as he slowly sits down, he places his strong hand over my knee, gripping harshly.
“Please, just go away.” I mumble against my knees.
“Relax, princess.” His voice sounds evil and as I go to move and get up, he immediately grabs me by my arm and slams me back against the wall, causing me to yelp in pain in between my soft sobs.
“Please...” I barely whisper.
“Just relax, Addilyn.” My heart immediately begins racing.
This is bad, very bad.