I scream running away from the white figure as fast as I can. "This is not
happening to me!" I hear my mother yelling at me in the background
"Amelia Elizabeth Dons! It is not lady like to scream at your guest and
then run away!" I gradually sulk back to the foyer where the white figure
is still outside, waiting to be invited into hell. My face is red from crying
and screaming so much and my nose is running like a tap, which seems to make me
continuously sniff. I must look like such a mess, so this is good. I take a
closer look at the Satan spawn who has come to drag me through hell to see that
it is a beautiful woman around thirty, standing with perfect posture, her
patronising brown eyes staring at me in disgrace, her long brown hair in the
what I assume to be the most painful up-do of all time.
My mother nudges me and whispers "Stop staring Amelia and invite your guest in".
I quickly oblige knowing how much I must be embarrassing my mother right now. "Please come in Mrs..." I don't know her name and am tempted to say Mrs. Satan Spawn but that would be impolite, I will just think it instead.
"Mrs. Caroline Lovett" she replies. How convenient, the woman who has come to tell me that I am literally doomed for the rest of my life has such a lovely last name. Lovett yeah right. More like Mrs. Caroline Hellett.
We walk to the family room and sit on one of my mother's black leather couches and, of course, my suck up of a mother starts to ask Mrs. Lovett a million questions and every one of her answers makes me want to gag. The worst one of all though would have to be when my mother excitedly asked "So Caroline, who is my baby girl going to marry?"
God marriage I can't even think about that. It is bad enough that I am made to marry the year I turn sixteen and only have a minor say as my parents dictate this but to have absolutely no say as I was 'randomly' picked by the government to be in this years chosen couple and have the government choice who I marry that is even worse.
"You will find out very soon! I hope you don't mind Mrs. Dons but I invited your future son-in-law to come over. He should be arriving any minute now."
My mother's jaw dropped in what I am guessing was excitement and oh my gosh, there is a vase out of place and a speck of dust on the mantelpiece. How embarrassing! Just before my mother was about to give her perfect housewife and hostess answer the doorbell rang...such a shame.
"Amelia, can you go get that?"
God I hate it when she calls me Amelia, I always feel like I am in some sort of trouble, which I basically am, but instead of being punished for a couple of hours I am being punished for the rest of my life...oh the joys.
"Yes mother..." I drone not wanting to answer the door and to just scream 'go away' because I know that behind that door stands my future husband who controls every move of my future from now on.
When I open the door my mouth almost drops to the ground. HIM? HIM! WHY HIM? WHY? It could have been anyone but him, even Edgar the schools creep who is just...strange. But no, it had to be the perfect Tyler James Washington!
Tyler, unfortunately, has not changed one bit in three years. He is still handsome, tall, with brown spiky hair; perfect lips and brown eyes that make you want to melt every time you look into them.
I first spoke to Tyler three years ago when we were both 13 and he did a really bad job, like really bad job, at asking me out and I very rudely and very unladylike, rejected him. It was that bad that it will go down in history as the world's worst date proposal.
My thoughts were interrupted by my mother, yelling at me from the sitting room, "Are you going to invite them in Amelia? It is very rude not to invite your guests in. I thought I taught you better than that but apparently not, seeing as this is the second time today you haven't invited in your guests!"
I look at Tyler and the man with him who is also dressed in white just like Mrs. Lovett, except of course for the fact that he is in a suit not a dress because that would just be down right odd. He smiles smugly that my mother is telling me off. "Yes mother!" I yell back before turning to face Satan spawn number two. "Tyler, Mr…" again I don't know my guests last name. I swear these people need nametags.
"Mr. Lovett" he replies sounding very posh but oh God why am I here? Why do I have to do this again?
"Tyler, Mr. Lovett please come in." I mutter and shudder because the words are just so horrible.
"Why I would love to thank you Amelia." And with that the arrogant, polite and really good looking dick walked into my house…oh goody.
As he is walking from the front door, where I wished he would stay forever, to the sitting room I regret every single step and really want to slap him in the face and shove him out the door screaming horrible words that should never be written down on paper, let alone thought, at him. We enter the room and sit on the couches on the opposite side of the room.
"Mrs. Dons could Frederick and I please talk to Tyler and Amelia. Alone?" Mrs. Lovett asked my mother kindly, not wanting to be rude and kick her out seeing as it wasn't her house but obviously not wanting her in the room. God knows why, other than the fact that my mother is the most annoying, irritating, fake person in the world, why would you ever want that out of a room?
"Oh, yes, of course. Would you like anything to drink? Tea? Coffee?" Mother asks quickly standing and getting ready to leave the room.
"We're fine thank you." Mrs. Lovett replies and my mother leaves. Finally!
"So I am guessing by the cold welcome at the door you two know each other and not in a good way." Mr. Lovett, a tall, strong looking man with a good tan. His hair black and spiky nicely completing his dark brown eyes asks.
"Yes, I know Mia. We spoke for the first and last time three years ago..." Tyler begins in a dark, harsh, cold voice.
"Wow that doesn't sound good! Why don't you explain dear?" Mrs. Lovett adds, I think she just to hear the sound of her own voice.
"Mia why don't you tell the Lovett's I am sure you would love to tell the story." Tyler asks me still sounding cold and angry.
"No, I think how much of a dick you are would be better conveyed if you tell the story."
"Oh no, I believe your rudeness and improper behaviour is better expressed if you tell the Lovett's."
"No, no, I..." Mr. Lovett cuts me off sounding pissed off.
"I don't care who tells me what happened, just someone tell me!"
"Fine then I will tell them!" I say just wanting this day to be over.
"Thank you God! Someone is being an adult. Please continue Amelia." Mr. Lovett adds sounding happier but still with the undertone of anger and hatred that he has to deal with quarreling teenagers.
starts please, please call me Mia. I hate Amelia I always feel naughty and like
I have done something wrong. Now onto what you actually want to know, three
years ago after school Tyler came up to me and very rudely
asked me out. The whole thing went like this;
Tyler: Hey Sweetheart, what do you think about being my girlfriend?
Me: My name is Mia and you should know that if you are asking me out! I do not appreciate being called sweetheart from anyone let alone someone I barely know. So no I will not be your girlfriend.
Tyler: What do you mean no? I am hot. You are hot. We would make the perfect couple.
Me: You may never have heard that word before seeing as you are a spoilt little rich kid but no means no, never, forget it, rejected and just in case you don't speak English ingen, geen, pas, nitch, aon, nullum, het, inga, dim, tidak...do I need to continue?
Tyler: Well you are rude I take back my offer. You will regret this! I am a catch!
Me: One: I never wanted your offer, hence the rejection. Two: I will never regret this and three: obviously you are not a catch if you believe relationships should be based on hotness, which I do not appreciate!
Then he stormed off and asked Kayleigh out who he has dated since. The end." I looked up and Tyler is pissed off. That was not his favourite day. It was the first time he was ever rejected. The Lovett's looking astounded and I think also a little pissed.
"Well I am sure you are regretting being such a smart ass now". Mr. Lovett asked me sounding slightly amused, which is a pleasant change from the stern and pissed off man that I have been dealing with today.
"Yeah, do you have something to say to me Mia?" Tyler asked me sounding very smug and highly amused.
"Hell No! You are as much in the wrong as I am. If you had not been such a dick asking me out then I might not have rejected you in so many languages!" Ok he is really annoying me now. I can't believe he is so cocky...actually no I can believe it because he is, unfortunately, right in front of me.
"Mia is right you were both in the wrong so she shouldn't have to be the only one apologising even though she is a woman and women are meant to always apologise to their men even if they are in the right. It isn't her fault you were such a dick and that she knew no in ten languages...what were they anyway?" Mrs. Lovett asked me sounding fascinated by all of the languages I knew.
I give a small laugh before continuing "English, Danish, Dutch, French, German, Irish, Latin, Russian, Swedish, Welsh and Indonesian"
"Okay Caroline, we are not here to marvel at Mia's knowledge of different languages even though it is quite impressive. We are here to give them key information on how to survive their future." Mr. Lovett goes back to sounding pissed but not at me this time so all is good.
"Wait, wait, wait, hold up. How to survive our future? No one said anything to me about dying. I thought it was just marriage, though if I am being forced to marry..." Tyler shudders "…her it is the equivalent to a slow and very painful death."
Ouch… I'm offended. I don't want to marry him either, but jeez, a little compassion would go a long way.
"No you aren't going to die, and that was very rude by the way you need to apologise, but this experience is going to test you both. You are going to have to learn to love each other, which may be very difficult given your past, or at least learn how to pretend to love each other whilst being the perfect, husband, wife, mother and father. This is where Mrs. Lovett and I come in, we are you escorts. We will make sure you arrive where you need to be, when you need to be there. You will have an etiquette coach to make sure you conduct yourselves properly, a stylist so that you look amazing wherever you go, a speech consultant to help you whenever you have to speak publicly, like on your wedding..." wedding the word makes me want to go and jump off a cliff! Mr. Lovett continues but I am still stuck on that horrible m word. "...A personal trainer so that you can stay healthy, skinny and hot, a nutritionist who will assign all of your meals and do all of your shopping with you so that you eat all of the right foods when you are pregnant and leading up to your pregnancy..." pregnancy? I don't want to have his baby. Ugh. Mr. Lovett still goes on despite my major internal crisis. "...and finally you will have a couple's counselor so that you can sort out any issues in private and not take your anger out at your appearances." Finally his list of 'help' has finished! Does he not think that I can dress and feed myself; I have been doing that since I was about two! I am fifteen now not one!
"Okay chit chat time is over now kiddies. Time to get down to business, first up makeover because quite frankly you need one Mia. Tyler is drop dead gorgeous and just needs an attitude adjustment but seriously, when was the last time you had someone pluck those eyebrows". You got to love Mr. Lovett's bluntness sometimes, don't ya. Pluck my eyebrows? I am not a bird. I do not need to get plucked. Plucking sounds painful.