27th day of January 2014
I waved goodbye, well it's not really goodbye as the guy was only going out to buy some late lunch for himself. And I was lonely again. The quiet air was the only thing I heard and I was forced to like it. Maybe, everything was trying to tell me that I need to relax and take a break from everything. Yeah, even though the fact that the guy I like is too unromantic and naïve to cause any drama, somehow it wears me out. Oh well.
A racket not usually known by this hospital was heard. It was probably frantic calls from a nurse scolding a young patient from being out of bed where he or she is supposed to stay at. That theory of mine was disproved by the fact that a boy very familiar to me was catching his breath in front of the door. I looked sideways to check if the other patients, gossip-loving elderly women who I didn't like much, were there. Their absence meant that they were still in the patient's lobby or elsewhere. That's a relief as they didn't have to witness this.
As I pronounce his name, I wished to the stars above the afternoon sky that witty ideas would swarm to my head so that I could make up believable excuses of why I was absent to Miles' life for about a week. I realized that it was stupid to make silly wishes especially if the only visible star in an afternoon sky was the sun. I could only come up with this:
I gave my sincerest yet fakest smile and I said this two words. "I'm fine,"
He was catching up to his usual rhythm and he stood up straighter. But he was still too far from belief and relief.
"So, you're not fragile?" What the hell?
"No!" I replied with much unintended hostility.
"So, you don't have cancer? Leukaemia? Or whatever?" Just what the heck did Mel and Mr Playboy said to him?
He seemed to be suspicious of my quick denials. As a matter-of-fact though, I am, in fact, telling the truth.
"Then why are you here? For days?" I can feel his unfamiliar exasperation of me ringing through the whole room. I could only sigh, and this only annoyed him. I tried to explain it to him.
"I had a fever. It didn't go down for three days. We thought I have caught something, so they rushed me here this morning. As far as I know I was only diagnosed with exhaustion. Oh, I also used this as an opportunity to get a general check-up to make sure you know. Nothing's out of the ordinary,"
Still, that didn't explain why he hasn't seen me for the whole week. I hope he didn't notice or he'd let me off with that one. I was in luck as Miles only nodded, apparently he's satisfied enough. But I could see that his smile still looked depressed and lonely. I have to say more.
"I'm glad to see you Miles. It was getting lonely in here. Oh, did Mel and Mr Pl-Zec take care of you while I'm not around?" Did our plan work?
Miles let in a gust before speaking.
"YEAH RIGHT THEY DID!" For some reason he looked dark and goaded. "And why didn't you texted me or something that you weren't feeling well? I thought something happened. I thought you were keeping something from me. Like on those dramas where the girl kept her disease from the guy or vice versa and in the end they were forced to separate to build up an unhappy ending."
Wow. Miles would benefit greatly if he would stay away from the dramatic media for a long while. I didn't know he could be well-informed. I kept the flow of the conversation.
"Yeah, about that Miles-" I looked at him seriously. I can't help but let him see traces of guilt on my face.
"Chloe…" The look on his face made me sway. It's a mixture of doubt, worry, and a hint of annoyance.
"Just kidding… aww, I just really like it when you have that look on your face! You should have seen it."
He grabbed the bed mattress I was sitting on and pulled and clawed it childishly. Though, when he realized that he was acting very immature, Miles retreated his hands and looked away to hide his flushed cheeks.
"But seriously? Nothing? You're not fragile or something?"
Seriously, this kid is beginning to bug me.
"Miles. I play volleyball, -harder than it looks, -ehem- ace player –ehem…" I said pointedly but the doubt concentrated in him did not disperse.
"Something's up and I'm going to find out what it is." I can see that determination had taken over him. I let out a snicker to tease him but as soon as the door opened every sound died in the moment save for the soft creak of well-maintained door.
It revealed a guy much older than Miles, flowers in his hands. He just came back from his late lunch break. Before Charles could even close the door behind him, Miles zipped out as fast as when a person needed the restroom.
Charles ignored the unimportant detail that was Miles as he went on to replacing the flowers in the vase beside my bed with the fresher ones he just bought.
"Hey! Don't do it like I'm in a comma or something! I'm very much awake you know." Also, I don't see the point of him bringing me flowers! I'm only going to be here for today!
Charles only replied with a grin, ignoring completely what I had just said.
"So, who was that?"
Who was who?
"-the kid that retreated when he realized that my presence was too overwhelming to handle?"
I rolled my eyes.
"Oh, that's Miles, my boyfriend- I think?" I shrugged for some reason that's too long to elaborate. I guess I find it weird to refer to Miles as a boyfriend, though I can't deny that he is my boyfriend.
"Ah," Charles nodded taking up the info along with looking like he wanted to beat the heck out of Miles. The way he clenched his fist supported my theory.
"It's all innocent, Charles. –Well, I guess he's innocent at least."
"Still innocent, you mean." retorted Charles.
"He's very nice."
It was Charles' turn to roll his eyes at my remark.
"Very nice my shoe." He said and then he paused to think about something. "Oh, well, I'll give him a few points for knowing that it's right to clear away while I'm visiting my younger sister." Charles continued after a while. "Yeah, I think I can like him."
Wow, really? That's good for Miles, I guess. It only took him little effort to charm my older brother.
Charles smiled. It will look like a normal cheery smile to anyone. But I've known my older brother for my whole life to recognize that it hides mischievousness.
"Too bad though… I would surely have liked 'Smiles' if you didn't just end it with him."
"End what?" That got me thinking. "What are you talking about? I didn't."
"Well, it looked that way to me. He looked exactly like me when Vicky broke my heart for the first time. Wow, lil' sis, I didn't know that you were such a heartbreaker." Charles had shaken his head in false disapproval. "I feel bad for the guy."
I know that there was some twisted humour behind all this but I also didn't think my older brother would lie about this.
"I didn't break up with him." I said not particularly to Charles but in a feeble attempt to help me think of a possible reason why or why not Charles' statement would be true.
Charles shrugged innocently. And that was the moment when the sinking feeling of realization dawned to me.
Miles' mind was currently at a fragile state. He thought I was hiding something from him. Also, the fact that I intentionally avoided him the whole week did not help. Then Charles came in to the picture. Miles only knew my older brother by name. They haven't been able to meet each other yet. Knowing all this, then Miles must have thought that I was cheating on him.
But worst of it all, I feel giddy at the fact that Miles feels down. I know it's wrong but I wanted to see those different expressions on his face, such as irritation and melancholy to burn in my eyes. Yes, I'm an awful person...