August 01, 2013
T-that me but why can't I stand up?
What's wrong with me?
"Mister Vera, so you think you're too good huh? So you've decided to ignore me? Well, too bad… detention," Our math teacher placed down a note on my desk. I snatched the note from my desktop and thrust it down my pocket. I was astonished that my hands did what I told it to do. It doesn't seem to be obedient until now.
"Now let's continue. You should know class, that there are three sides on a triangle. Remember that their angles sums up to 180 degrees. And they're…"
What is she talking about? Oh, the lesson.
"… for your homework, research some more significant properties regarding this figure. "
The class was now dismissed and I was still petrified on my place.
"Um, Miss Garcia, I would certainly appreciate it if you wouldn't try and cut class right in front of me. Next time please try and do it more discreetly so I wouldn't notice, alright?"
My classmates laughed at what she said. I didn't think it was funny, but everyone laughed anyway. I didn't quite get it and I just went ahead and rushed to the detention room and found myself a place to sit. Two more hours, then I could go home. It'll be fine. I don't want to go home anyway.
"Okay, everyone's allowed to go." The teacher in charge of detention told us after almost two hours of doing paperwork. This is supposed to be their work. They're getting paid for this you know, and they're making us do it instead.
I tried to calm myself down. I'm fine. I keep telling that to myself. Then, I took a deep breath. And exhale. Wow, it actually worked. There's something wrong with me. Well, I think I'm fine now. Relax, just relax.
I decided to head to the park at my usual place. There, I tried to think about everything.
Well, I'm beat but the steady motion of the clouds up in the sky stirred my focus on thinking. I had come to like the soothing feeling of just watching those cotton-soft things drift by.
That's better. It's getting late. Maybe I should just head back home.
And I did.
"Where have you been?!" I felt a slap right across my right cheek. I did not say anything.
"Marie called us earlier and she told us that you were not paying attention in class and you were ignoring her. What's wrong? Say something!" it was really a loud yell. It was so loud that I can't actually hear it.
"I uh," I uttered pathetically.
"Whatever! Just go do your chores! Another call from them… oh hoho… you don't want to know, boy. Is that clear?"
"Yes," I answered, very sure that whatever it was, it wasn't clear to me.
"Yes, Clarabelle," I said. It sounded cheekier than I intended. Fear suddenly crept all over me that I quickly went to the next room.
"Tsk, Alicia, that kid of yours is beginning to test me." Although, we're now a room apart and Clara had said it a lot less loud than her tone with me earlier, I could clearly hear them this time. I decided to eavesdrop.
"Be patient with him darling," I knew that only reason that they kept me is that because my grandparents threatened to donate her inheritance if she abandoned me. I only know that much. Well, I come to accept that or so I thought. Also, I came to accept the fact that my mother's girlfriend and the girlfriend's younger sister is now living with us. My mother usually leave me alone, neglect it might seem but it was a lot less cruel than what's happening now.
"I'm alright with it, it's just you know how I hate men," I shouldn't have dared and eavesdrop as I saw Clarabelle licking my mother's cheek. I managed to completely get away but my imagination filled in what I missed for not watching. I can picture it perfectly.
"You know we wouldn't have anything to worry about if you had just abor-," my mother somehow silenced Clarabelle in what I imagined a way too intense action to describe.
"Shh… the kid might hear you," said my mother, pausing whatever they were currently on to.
"Yeah, right…" and they probably returned to what they were doing earlier.
Also, I already know the fact that my mother never intended me. She had plans of aborting me when I was still unborn. It was my grandparents that convinced her to keep me. They're dead now, so it's a real mystery that I'm still not thrown away somewhere other than here.
Yeah, my mother abandoned me the day she had given birth to me and left me to her parents. My grandparents decided to raise me instead. I'm very thankful for them for doing that but sometimes I wished they never convinced my mother to let me live. I could have never-. I shouldn't really think this way.
My grandparents then passed away around after my eighth birthday. My grandfather died from a heart-attack and my grandmother couldn't bear losing my grandfather and she lost her will to keep living, she followed him weeks later.
So by default, I was sent to my mother. Back then, I felt so happy that I'm going to live with a real parent like every other kid I know does. I wished that she felt the same but it wasn't really the case.
For six years, I was treated like some kind of stranger she hired to do chores for her.
Then, there was Clarabelle. She had known my mother a lot longer than I have. I eventually found out that the Sundays my mother was not around are because of her. She then moved with us with her younger sister, Seam.
Oh, and my father you ask?
I didn't know much about him except for the fact that he's in the list of Most Wanted by the law enforcement. Well, that's what I heard. I don't know.